99 Problems (But a Narc Ain’t One)


Image result for picture of woman cheering


If you’re havin’ narc problems, it feels like he’s won,

I got 99 problems but a narc ain’t one.


I got me some HG for my narc patrol,

Foes who want to make sure my fuel’s exposed,

Leeching critics that say she’s “Love Light and Laughter”

I’m an empath stupid, what type of facts are those?


If you were ensnared by this insidious enemy,

You’d celebrate the minute you be havin’ HG,

I’m like I was duped, he wanted my energy,

But I’m reading some Tudor in order to be free


Got blinded with the golden period they show,

They don’t play fair, it’s maximum seduction, so

They seize on my empathic traits

And when the red flags fly it’s just too late, f*****s


I gave all my love, I thought I had his,

But now I know he was taking the piss,

He set me up, pushed and he pulled, made me feel dumb,

I got 99 problems but a narc ain’t one (no contact)


99 problems but a narc ain’t one

If you have narc problems, you need to shine like the sun,

I got 99 problems but a narc ain’t one (no contact)


In a flick of a switch, he made me feel raw,

He gave me silence and walked off through the door

Got two choices, y’all, read some HG or

Stay confused and sink to the floor


And I ain’t trying to get that narc back,

Tried too many times and got no slack,

So I’ve opened the pages

And decided to nail shut that door.


‘Cause I’m still young and I shine even though I feel real low,

He wanted a mind reader, but I couldn’t know

What he meant, he wanted second guessing some mo,

I’m better than that, so the devil had to go.


Gaslighting and manipulation, takes the keys to my car,

Threatened me with weapons, pushed me real far,

I’m drawing a line in the sand, this time’s legit,

I’m preparing for departure, no contact, this is it.


Well I changed the locks, friends got my back,

And I know my rights, this fuel supply’s now flat,

I’ve sharpened my claws, I’m keeping him out

I don’t care if he cries, begs or if he starts to shout


He kept moving the bar, my self-esteem took the hit,

Enough is enough, I’ve took enough of his shit,

Well we’ll see how big he is when the fuel gets low,

I got 99 problems but a narc ain’t one,

If you’re having narc problems, you need to shine like the sun,

I got 99 problems but a narc ain’t one (no contact)


I try to ignore him, talk to the hand,

He can smear me to family, friends, all across the land,

I now know his type, the narc enemy

And I got my knowledge from HG


And the only thing that’s gon’ happen is I’m gonna be free,

He and his lieutenants are going down you’ll see,

Cause I’ve built my defences, I’ve got empathy

And best of all I’ve read all my HG


He can hoover, he can promise change, he can bring flowers instead,

But no more fuel for him, cos to me he’s dead,

I’ve built a wall, I’m staying out of his sphere

And for the first time in ages I feel no fear


All because he needed fuel and he targeted me,

But that’s all exposed and I will soon be free,

I know what he is and the game is done,

I got 99 solutions HG and a narc ain’t one (no contact)


99 solutions to make a narc get gone,

I’ve no longer narc problems, I shine like the sun,

I’ve got 99 solutions and the narc has gone (no contact)

61 thoughts on “99 Problems (But a Narc Ain’t One)

  1. Cara says:

    <33 HG I needed this tonight..

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are welcome.

  2. Love this!!!

  3. Gem says:

    Bravo! MC HG in da house

  4. Poetic_Me says:

    Did you nieces and nephews help their cool uncle rhyme this out? Too funny, HG. It Is good to show you have a sense of fun too and appeal to what you refer to as the ” great unwashed”..translation…the masses. Yet another example how words and lyric are effecting.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      NO it was all my own work.

  5. Heather says:

    Wow H.G! 😎 That was awesome! Thank you so much for making me laugh today! I needed that! It was perfect! You are are so cool! All I could think was how much I appreciate you for doing this for us! Great energy! You are beautiful!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you Heather, as with everything I write I enjoyed writing it and I thought something a little tongue in cheek for a Friday was appropriate.

  6. F&ckin’ A. You all do so love us Empaths, don’t you. But we’re figuring it all out. I listened to your Out of the Box Radio interview.

    Can you say yet in your life that you’ve ever felt true emotion (anger not being a base emotion)?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Hello Vennie, I have felt emotions such as rage, power, hatred, envy, jealousy and frustration to name a few.

      1. Hey HG. As I was listening to you, I wondered what it was like to want to feel say, love or compassion, but to have the inability. Do you feel it’s possible to gain empathy or would you be faking it? I wonder if the creation of narcissism changes the DNA and if it can be re-changed to allow empathy. Maybe you have touched on this and can link me to some of your posts. I’m still digging in. Or if you wanted to share your thoughts here.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Hello Vennie, I can fake empathy as I understand how to do so. I would not be in a position to be empathic. I don’t know if narcissism changes the DNA, but rather certain conditions bring about a shift in behaviour which is repeated and reinforced so it becomes the norm.

          1. I’ve done a lot of study on the narcissist and understand what you are saying as far as the forming in childhood. There is scientific study that trauma, whether physical or mental, changes the chemical makeup of the body, affecting the brain/pineal gland, etc. Also, I should have clarified – I did not mean empathic – but empathetic. (Two different things). The reason I ask about the science is that I’m curious if a medication or brain surgery has ever been explored to change the chemical makeup of the narcissist who is formed. They’re born too; possible DNA passed on by a host parent. I suppose I could “Google it” but who knows what Dr. Google might produce. Thanks again for the conversation. I can discuss this topic all day. It is interesting to me from the perspective of having been a child victim of narcissist cult leaders.

          2. HG Tudor says:

            Thank you VK. Yes the meaning of empathic and empathetic will depend on the context. Both can be used to describe a form of empathy, the ability to understand the feelings of others and also to sympathise and be compassionate. When I use empathic (or occasionally empathetic) I use it in this context. Similarly, when I use the word empath, I use it to denote an individual who exhibits empathy, is empathic or empathetic and is compassionate and sympathetic.
            I know that empathic may also mean someone who is “in tune” with the feelings of others and the environment around them, it is used in a spiritual or psychic sense. When I use the word empath or empathic I do not mean that interpretation since that is a “world” I do not know about.
            I understand that medication might be prescribed to deal with co-morbid conditions that manifest alongside narcissism but no medication has ever been mentioned or even hinted at with me (except by MatriNarc and her suggestions are self-serving). As for brain surgery, there is nothing wrong with my brain, it is magnificent.
            With regard to your situation, was that as a consequence of family members or somebody you were not related to?

  7. alexis2015s says:

    Had to read this one again.

    HG murders a rhyme one word at a time.

  8. Christina says:

    Wow….all I can say is that you are good at your game and good at writing. You obviously have tons of fans…must be validating? I can say that I don’t get the fascination with you…it’s almost like groupies.

    I don’t roll that way…all I am trying to get is how you think since the nard was obviously like you. I have no reason to be friends with you….unless you have something that I haven’t considered. You are a narc after all.

    You have no reason to heal me….to provide me advice than a trauma therapist could. Because I was diagnosed with complex PTSD from my childhood before he came into my life.

    Anyway…If you can convince me otherwise I will be open. I imagine that you already hate me from challenging you.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You might get the fascination as time goes on. You don’t need to be friends with me, but if you want to, well why not? Yes by all means use this blog and my books to aid your understanding as ultimately that will benefit you the most.

  9. So Sad says:

    Lovin da beat HG.

    Is there no end to your talents!! Rhetorical question btw, I know what your answer will be.:)

    Move over 50 Cent . The Tudors coming through .. !!!

  10. Jules says:

    Brilliant!! 👏👏. Now when is ur movie coming out?? Id make an awesome victim. No acting experience needed 😂😂

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you Jules. Watch this space!

  11. Exhausted says:

    My new theme song 😝

  12. Steeviann says:

    Rapper HG

  13. Seachange says:

    Giddy on the run, HG, I’ve gotta frame this, and that’s no pun. The motivation sustains me. What have I done! Until awards come, the plebiscite to rearrange the constitution, HG’s reading list will be my rocket ship out of destitution.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Hello Seachange, now that was impressive. Fancy a collaboration?

  14. No you didn’t!

  15. 1jaded1 says:


  16. alexis2015s says:

    Yes blood

  17. bethany7337 says:

    Did you write this? Very funny!

    1. HG Tudor says:


      1. McCoy says:

        HG I wrote a comment with a question about 3 hours ago. It never made it to the comments section though. What happened?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          There are a number of posts in moderation, it will appear in due course McCoy.

  18. Indy says:

    I love this HG. That is one of my get over him songs to begin with, and what you wrote was awesome! Like BTI’m bouncing!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thanks Indy.

  19. Persephone says:

    Hey I posted that line…..great finish to my start.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Honestly, stop trying to pinch the limelight!

  20. Snow White says:

    That made my night!!! You should be on tour. Lol

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Keep an eye out for the posters!

  21. nikitalondon says:

    wow you are such an amazing writter!!! this was so cool!!! only here you can read such good things 😃😃☀️😘

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thanks Nikita.

  22. T says:

    🎤 …I had some Narc woes but now HG is my man!

    When I see a Narc coming I’m throwing him straight in the garbage can……”

    I HAD 99 problems and a Narc was ALWAYS one, but thanks to HG Tudor—now I just have FUN!

    Hanging with Narcs comes at such a high cost–but thanks to HG’s blog I can handle Narcs just like a BOSS!🎤

    1. HG Tudor says:


    2. Poetic_Me says:

      Awesome T.

  23. mlaclarece says:

    This is pretty legit! lol

  24. Anonymous Girl says:

    Ok, some of your writing makes my stomach turn so I read little and infrequently but I love this one.

    Thank you.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you AG.

  25. Fool me 1 time says:

    I honestly don’t know what to say to that! HG I think your doing crack!
    Ha, ha,ha! I loved it! Xxx

  26. Rosemarie says:

    ht now he’s probably slow dancing with a bleached-blond tramp,
    And she’s probably getting frisky…
    Right now, he’s probably buying her some fruity little drink
    ‘Cause she can’t shoot whiskey…
    Right now, he’s probably up behind her with a pool stick,
    Showing her how to shoot a combo…

    And he don’t know…

    That I read my books and got real sane
    Of his pretty little souled up insane game
    Cuz HG showed the way to me
    That a bat to the car was not meant to be
    Slashed a hole in all his fuel
    Thank God that Tudor knows his gruel. 🤗

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Ha ha tank you Rosemarie, that made me laugh.

  27. Sheila says:

    I sang that as a rap as I read it, was that intentional HG… or am I just losing my mind with lack of sleep after 2 weeks of night shift? lol
    I loved it, you should start writing song lyrics haha!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Hello Sheila, good to hear from you. Yes it was meant to be a rap, best read if you play Jay-Z’s song in the background by way of accompaniment.

  28. Lisa says:

    HG , what is the real reason you want to help us and write this blog . You say it gives you minimum fuel. You don’t care about any of us . But you do help , what are you getting out of this ? Why are you doing it ?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      I do it Lisa because I enjoy writing, I enjoy interacting with you all since you ask me interesting questions, you detail interesting situations and I am also able to learn from you. I do not do it to help people. I do it because I want to write, I want people to see my work, lots of people and if that means it happens to help people, so be it, their thanks and admiration provides me with some fuel into the bargain. I also do it as it is part of my treatment, but I definitely do enjoy the interaction with you all.

  29. Colleen says:

    This made my day HG! You’re the best!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you Colleen, thanks for letting me know.

  30. Mccoy says:

    H.G.– You’re blogs are always dead on. And you’re helping us to understand (your kind) and we greatly appreciate that… But i’d like to ask you a personal question. Being as though you hear us (in this group) complain about how hurt we are and how bad we we’re treated blah..blah..blah… Do you feel sympathy for the people that you fuel for? You are very good at mentally stimulating people and that, within itself, is dangerous because they become REALLY vulnerable and let all guards down which gives you full control. So again, do you feel bad at all?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      No I do not feel any sympathy, I am no possessed of the ability to do so. I can, because I am intelligent enough, understand why you would be hurt and upset (unlike a lesser who would just stare at you blankly) but I feel no compassion. I do not feel bad at all because I do not suffer guilt and at the end of the day, this is how I was built, this is what I must do.

      1. McCoy says:

        HG…but the other day, you said that you “are emotionally available “. So if that were the case, you should have some compassion.. Your writing definitely helps me in standing my ground and staying away from my narc husband. He is a very heartless man and no one, not even his kids are exempt from his wrath. The woman he cheated with had no idea he was married. He met her on FB and flew to see her. Within 27 days of them meeting only once, she asked him to marry her and he said yes. So the 28th day, he asked her to prove her love by getting his name tattoed on her body. Well she did it and then he told her he was married. How’s that for heartless on his part, and stupidity on hers…

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Emotionally available for you to pour your emotions into us. Maybe I should have compassion (certainly many people think that ought to be the case) but I have no need for it. I am pleased my writing is acting as a cautionary tale so that you remain away from your N husband. His circumstances with the person he has married are entirely typical and as for the tattoo well do you think she is stupid or do you think she has been manipulated brilliantly?

  31. cat1520 says:

    Love it!!! Makes me smile 🙂

  32. Oh….this is bloody brilliant!!!
    I feel the beat, HG! I am dancing in the street, HG!

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