Mudded Hell

I have a busy day today. Much to do and many people to do it to but when you have someone’s interests at heart, well, this is what you have to do isn’t it? I have the list of telephone numbers which I have noted down from your telephone when I gained access to it. It was not difficult to do so. Using my famous ability to move around without making much of a noise I stole up behind you and watched you enter the passcode for your phone and I stored that in my memory to enable me to use it when you were sleeping. Naturally I had a good look through all your messages, your diary and e-mails but that is for another discussion. I recognised the names of numerous people and made a note of their numbers inside my little book and then hid that in readiness for when I decided it was time I needed to use it. Now that time has come and it is incumbent on me to take this step.

The first number I enter into my phone is that of Sarah, a friend of yours. She answers after two rings. Like many people she is surgically attached to the ‘phone.

“Hello Sarah it is HG. Listen, I just wanted to let you know, since you are such a good friend of hers, that Gemma is, well I think the easiest way to describe it is that she is not well, not well at all. What do I mean? She has been acting rather strangely. The slightest thing seems to either have her shouting or crying. At first I wondered if it was just, you know, women’s things, but it has been going on for months now. You had no idea? No I know, I have not said anything before because well I was hoping I could help her  deal with it but it is beyond even me. I am going to get her some help. I try and talk to her about it but she just clams up on me, gives me silence and then a little later accuses me of not caring. I don’t think she is sleeping properly either and it takes me an age to get her to eat. Should you come round? No, thank you, that is kind of you, but I don’t want her to do anything which might upset you. She is very erratic in her behaviour but it is something more than just mood swings. I am going to get her the proper help but I am just forewarning you that if she contacts you just be aware that she is not herself. She has been saying things about people, me included, which are not very nice and I don’t want this period of illness to affect her relationship with her friends, you know how some people can be overly sensitive to what someone says and they miss the point they are unwell. Yes, that’s right. Yes I think it would be a good idea if you just give her some space. Yes, absolutely. If she does contact me, let me know, you have my number on your ‘phone now. Yes I will pass on your kind words and thanks for your help Sarah, it is much appreciated at this difficult time.”

I end the call and place a tick next to Sarah’s name. She was most understanding and fully appreciate the need for space in order to allow you to get better. Now, who is next. Ah yes, another of your friends, Helen. I call Helen and explain the situation almost word-for-word as I did with Sarah. She asks more details about what is wrong and I reluctantly tell her about the violence and the lying. She is shocked I can tell and she spends some time searching for an amateur diagnosis as to what it might be. I listen as she drones on, checking my watch and noting I have other names to get through too. Eventually I am able to conclude the call and place another tick. I continue working my way through your list of friends, the ticks adding up. Next is John, your fitness instructor.

“Hello John, this is HG, Gemma’s partner. We haven’t met. Look John, difficult call to make but Gemma is unwell at present. It is pretty serious. Yes, thank you, it is a difficult time but I am doing the best I can to help her. It is unclear at present what it is, I am organising for a doctor to come and see her today but it is making her very difficult to be around. She may be suffering from some kind of breakdown brought on by exhaustion. Yes, it is a worry. I know you would not have thought it to look at her outside of our house but I think this has been brewing for some time, you know, she even started telling me that she was going to marry you. Yes I know that is ridiculous isn’t it? You are already married? I thought you were. Don’t worry, I know nothing is going on, I am sure you are far too professional for that kind of thing, but this is part of the problem, she keeps coming out with outlandish comments and I can handle it but I worry others might not so she won’t need your services until further notice. Payment? Well yes if she has an agreement with you then just continue to take her monthly payment after all this is not your fault is it? I will let you know when she is well again but just in case she tries to contact you I think it would be best if you don’t take her calls, I don’t want her causing you any trouble especially between you and your wife. Thank you John, your discretion is appreciated.”

Another tick and a similar call is made to your choral group and your book club. Next is your employer. I made you take today off under the pretence of you gaining a lie in and then us doing something together. We stayed up late last night so you are still fast asleep upstairs allowing me to make these important telephone calls. Your employer is understanding and I can confirm that arrangements will be made to provide the relevant doctor’s note because I explained this situation is likely to last a number of weeks. My preparation thus segues into arranging for the local doctor to make a house call after I explain to the receptionist, in worried tones, that having you leave the house in your current state might be a risk to both you and other people. She was most understanding and confirmed that a doctor would attend after surgery, around 5pm. Next on the list are your family members. I secured the advantage of persuading you to move with me away from them and they are now a flight away. The inconvenience of having to fly and the distance is something I play on as I call your parents and your sister, forewarning them that they may experience some unpleasant comments about them and especially me given her condition. I assure them that I am taking care of you and there is really no need for them to come all this way. I confirm I will keep them updated and they are pleased I have taken time off work to care for you and that I have arranged for a doctor to attend. I spend considerable time reeling off examples of the terrible behaviour you have exhibited, explaining the awful things I have been subjected to and the lies you have told about me, your friends and family. I explain that I can deal with it but I just feel so sorry for your parents and your sister having to hear such things and in order to prevent it happening again the best thing is to contact me and not you and to keep you at arms’ length. I explain I understand that it is hard but it will be the best outcome for all concerned if you are prevented from lashing out and hurting people. My explanations and good intentions are accepted and thanks is offered for my understanding and support.

The final tick is placed on the list and I place both ‘phone and pen down. I really should go and wash my hands now after smearing all that mud around.

41 thoughts on “Mudded Hell

  1. Mb says:

    Like a horror movie. Why I’m scared of mine now that I left

  2. E. B. says:

    HG, thank you for explaining how smears work. I did not understand how they could be so successful until I read some of your texts and books. It is not about what people smearing others say (“She/He is crazy”) but HOW it is said.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      No problem EB you are welcome.

  3. I do love a man who`s not afraid to get dirty for a good cause.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      That’s why I am digging for victory B&T.

      1. Oh victory shall be yours….it is inevitable.

        Do we get to fight over who gets to launder your soiled clothing or who gets to hold the towel with which you will dry your hands…..?

        I too am gunning for victory.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          I am taking bids B&T!

          1. Well isn’t lucky I’m a betting girl then!!! I start the bidding at priceless times infinity plus one.

          2. HG Tudor says:

            We have a winner.

          3. Well either that or I’ll give your soiled clothes to the housekeeper while you go watch porn in the bolthole and I toss up a delightful word salad while I recite the Fifteen Fundamental Facts of Forever Flowing Fuel.

            Either way really.

          4. HG Tudor says:

            Ha ha I do enjoy a good piece of alliteration whilst my salad is tossed.

  4. Alice says:

    Excellent post! This explains it all to me, it is so spot on!!

    Narc formerly in my life ticked all boxes (1-3) when the ex-primary source and I withdrew rather simultaneously.

    A comment: is interesting to note that you increased the use of `the narcissist´ (third person) instead of `our kind´.

    Strange and wonderful thing: since the two-year post-breakup date expired, I don´t feel anything anymore when I see him (on TV – he has screen presence every now and then). There are many days when, even weeks, when I don´t even think of him any more (ever presence is obviously gone)! That feels so good, YAY! :-))

  5. Persephone says:

    So, I’ve been binge watching The Night Manager. Tom Hiddleston has the same eyes as guy in pic. I am strangely attracted to him as this character, maybe cuz he’s blond. If you watch him act, he has no feeling in his eyes. First episode *spoiler alert* Girl dies. When he finds her dead, look at his eyes. There is nothing behind them. Coincidence Tudor? Is that a picture of yourself at the spa? Or are you Tom Hiddleston? If so Taylor Swift is a Hoe. I should know we are frenimies.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Not me, you won’t find any mud on me. The Night Manager is pretty decent.

  6. nikitalondon says:

    No experience with this kind of mud neither.. seems I have missed some of the sideeffects of NPD relationship.

    1. Persephone says:

      What are the next lottery numbers?

      1. nikitalondon says:

        4, 36, 18, 9, 2, and joker 3 .. swiss lotto

        1. Persephone says:

          Thanks Lucky!!! Switzerland!!!!…said in the voice of toulouse lautrec in Moulin Rouge.

    2. Poetic_Me says:

      That is a blessing, Nikita. Some people are beyond cruel.

      1. nikitalondon says:

        Fortunately PM … fortunately for me. I have to be thankful.

  7. RMG says:

    You do bring some memories back, to which once taken apart you can learn very valuable lessons from once you separate the emotion from the memory.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Very much the case.

  8. RMG says:

    I so laughed HG BOO was the very first FB message I ever got from him, he sent it from my phone. Now I know what he was actually doing. Seeing who was who in my life and making a list.

    1. HG Tudor says:


  9. Teal Crayon says:

    You scare me O.o

    1. HG Tudor says:


  10. Teal Crayon says:


  11. Another Cara says:

    Hi, HG! The narcissist’s smear campaign is essentially a last bid for control, isn’t it? She can make all this stop if only I will play nice with her again. And never mention the lies and manipulations. Ha! She underestimates my strength! I’ll take the defamation to my character and reputation if I never have to deal with her again!

    1. HG Tudor says:


      1. lauren says:

        I just read your book on Revenge and it was very good. Question is once the pillars are torn down what is left of the narcissist?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Thank you Lauren. That is explained in The Creature.

  12. Still convinced DN stole my phone. Several times I have been tempted to ask for it back but if he wants it that bad he can have it. I’ve got nothing to hide. I think he took it to cover his own ass (I had months of “Golden” text and pics in it). There are only of few people left in our group that haven’t taken his mud and thrown it back in his pathetic face and I honestly don’t give a shit about those people anymore. So sling your mud DN…I’ve got the BS body suit ready!

  13. Steeviann says:

    Not sure how it works in your world but I can tell you this would not fly in my world and close circle. They know me all too well. They would be saying ok to you on the phone and then showing up at my door.

    If you do this or have done this then you are one scary man HG. Sounds like a body tracker is in order to be placed under the skin.

    1. Indy says:

      Exactly, not in my circle either. They are my saving grace right now and got my back. This scared me too, to think anyone would have the guts/nerve to do this…..being hoovered like crazy now while on vacation. It’s insane. Going from professions of love to delusion we are still together to threats to come to my job and home. All in a matter of minutes of each message….quick turns….

  14. Cara says:

    Well yes, what you did is you successfully isolated “Gemma” from everyone she knows (other than you, of course).

  15. Poetic_Me says:

    Yes, I recall this muddy hell and all the stress that was caused to me.

  16. Fool me 1 time says:


    1. Steeviann says:

      what does Fm mean? Secret code?

      1. Maddie says:

        “F#$&@ me? “Lol

      2. Fool me 1 time says:

        At times I do not have a comment or a question. fm is simply fool me.

        1. steeviann says:

          I can’t think of a better responce. Maybe a Fm running.

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