The Super Empath


Image result for picture of super girl


It is well known that our kind target those who have empathic traits. Just like those of my persuasion operate on a spectrum, those who exhibit empathy do so as well. There are those we might regard as the “normals” those people who have some narcissistic traits and some empathic traits. As ever, when I use the words empathic and empathetic I state them with reference to certain traits such as empathy (clearly), honesty, kindness, decency and such like. I do not use the words in the sense of being in tune with the world and the environment. The normal are in the centre, possibly leaning one way towards my kind or the other way towards your kind. It is extremely rare for a normal to be ensnared as primary source because put simply, they do not cut the mustard. Their emotional responses are not sufficient, their empathic traits whilst evident are not sufficient to either bind to us or provide us with the fuel that we need. Such a person would easily pass a homeless person begging, a person crying alone on a bench or somebody who had fallen off their bike and injured themselves. They are self-absorbed but not the degree that our kind is. They will help if they really have to, but they do not go out of their way to act in a way that causes harm to anybody else.

Thereafter come those who are empaths. Empaths are always targeted as primary sources. They often fulfil secondary roles as well. They are rarer in a tertiary source position since if they are an empath, they would be better suited to either being a primary or secondary source. We would not want those empathic traits to go to waste. The empath has a good range of empathic traits those of honesty, decency, having a strong moral compass and being a good listener, just to list a few of them. They may not have all of the empathic traits that we look for, but they will have several and exhibit them in a concentrated form. Thus this person would look to donate to a charity, hand a wallet in that was found in the street, help a stranger who is in distress, sit and listen to somebody who has problems and acts of a similar nature.

Next comes the Super Empath. This person is not a co-dependent. Both the Super Empath and the co-dependent have many, if not all of the empathic traits that we look for and they have them to a stronger degree than the empath. For example, both might take the homeless person under their wing and take them to a shelter, maybe even house them themselves for a period of time. They would try and locate the person who had lost their wallet in order to hand it back in person rather than say hand it in at a police station first. They will listen to the person with problems and then offer practical solutions to resolve those difficulties. The co-dependent gains validation from such acts through giving and has to do this to an excessive degree even when it goes beyond what is good for themselves, such is their inherent addiction to the act of giving and selflessness. The co-dependent may not actually be that strong an individual (they are in the sense of the abuse that they can soak up) but they are not strong as they have no identity to assert, they must form one through self-flagellation, giving and not taking. They are masochistic in nature, driving themselves to the point of collapse and illness because they lack the strength to escape and the desire to do so from the clutches of our kind. Lesser Narcissists and Mid-Range Narcissists hook up with co-dependents especially because they give, give and give but do not fight back. They challenge themselves, blame themselves and always make excuses for their abuser.

The Super Empath is also a giver but whereas the co-dependent is masochistic in this giving, the Super Empath does so from a position of strength. They hold their ability to empathises, to heal, to fix and impart goodness as a great gift and one which ought not to be abused. They are drawn to our kind less because of the co-dependent’s need to seek validation of identity through a narcissist, but more because they are initially attracted to the apparent emotional output of the narcissist. The false strength which the narcissist exhibits at the outset of the seduction, the confidence, the apparent satisfaction with his self, that he appears comfortable in his own skin, at ease with others, capable of lighting up a room and so forth is a huge attraction to the Super Empath because that person actually sees something of themselves in the narcissist when the narcissist is seducing. That is not to state that the Super Empath is a narcissist. Far from it. But the Super Empath is just as engaging as the narcissist and thus there is a mutual attraction. The Super Empath is also more challenging to the narcissist and therefore is usually the recipient of some Mid-Range narcissists and most often the Greater Narcissist. This is not because the Super Empath is awkward or reticent but rather she will be forthcoming with her empathic traits once she feels that they have been earned. Accordingly, the narcissist much put the extra miles in, in terms of seduction to ensnare the Super Empath. This person needs to be coerced into sharing the fruits of their empathy but once that trust has been earned, once the gate has been unlocked the benefits are huge. The Super Empath shines with empathy, glows with decency and pours forth delicious fuel.

This continues during devaluation. The empath and co-dependent are easier to “break” in terms of causing negative fuel to flow. The Super Empath is made of sterner material and will resist the negative machinations of the narcissist at first. This may result in the narcissist dis-engaging if he does not feel able to impact on the Super Empath and seeking fuel elsewhere. The Greater knows who he has ensnared and knows once again he must unlock the fuel source, this time negative, of the Super Empath and once it is done the tidal wave of fuel is to be enjoyed. The Super Empath will remain, wanting to fix the narcissist, exhibiting again the same empathic traits of others on the empathic spectrum, but again being made of sterner stuff, their descent towards numbness and malfunction is far slower than that of the empath. The Super Empath will keep providing the fuel but deteriorates at a slower rate. The risk factor however with a Super Empath is that their own personal integrity is greater than the empath’s and very much greater than that of the co-dependent and consequently of all these three classes of empath, the Super Empath is the one more likely to make a bid for escape and thus leave the narcissist with a cessation problem.

The challenge of unlocking both positive and negative fuel proves an attraction for the right type of narcissist because this allows him to assert his superiority and enjoy the challenge. The reward is magnificent. Excellent fuel and such that deteriorates at a much slower rate. The downside is the potential for the Super Empath becoming “aware” of what is happening, becoming unwilling to dedicate further energy to staying with the narcissist to fix and to heal and thus escaping. The Super Empath requires fairly careful management by our kind, but the rewards always mean that this person is a challenge which is often accepted.


325 thoughts on “The Super Empath”

  1. I am what you refer to as a Super Empath. However I was not aware of this until recently after my first experience with a Narcissist . I have learned a lot about your kind as well as myself from my experience. I suppose I was one of “the lucky ones” .
    Most of the knowledge gained has been through this website and corresponding YouTube videos. Thank you so much for your time and have work.
    I must ask you though, how is it, you being a Narcissist yourself, that you’ve gotten to the state of self awareness that you have? And what propmpted you to begin writing and sharing these secrets. It seems counterproductive for a Narcissist to do such.

    1. 1. A combination of intelligence, ability and the gaining of information.
      2. I wanted to create a legacy and also correct the many misunderstandings about our kind.

      How is counterproductive? It will never stop me succeeding at what I do and getting what I need. Ono the contrary, it provides me with a platform from which to exercise skills I have, to create a legacy and to entertain myself weaponising empaths.

      1. Oh HG you have truly achieved that.

        You have no idea how armed and dangerous I am now. There are so very many stories which I will one day share with you.

        Amazing, my only advice to others would be to keep reading.

        I have handled situations at work, with my family and ‘friends’ in a way which I never could have before.

        Met, matched them and much more without being counter productive to myself.

        A whole hearted thank you. Without letting you have a piece of it of course.

      2. Happy festive period HG. Hope you are being nice to people. How is things with you and the Drs coming along?

      3. To you also. I’m more pleasant than Mount Pleasant on a pleasant day with carefree, innocent children frolicking upon its slopes. Swimmingly, thank you.

      4. Innocent children. You said it. We were all there once and look what happened to us. Hope they are being parented much better. Enjoy skiing, you lucky man.

  2. Please note: My reply button said Reply to SuperEmpath however my comment isnt underneath theirs as a reply. I’m only saying this in case it confuses anybody as it is out of sync with the thread.
    It is probably due to the reply date being so long after the initial comment by SE was made.
    I am not on the blog as often and I have only just seen the comment and replied.
    Best regards to all as always.

  3. Just seen this.

    Ah. Contradictions and misrepresentation.

    No one can say they are the brightest that God has to offer and say “oh you’ve met the brightest”
    The brightest ones are full of the holy spirit. The spirit is not present where there is profanity. The tongue which is holy does not speak in an unholy way. It causes offence to the spirit and He leaves. Nor does the brightest of God exhibit such a lack of humility and boastful pride.
    I have specks in my eye and a sinner. Yet I know the brightest of God never state they are.

    They dont have to.

    They are seen by their light alone.
    Not by words that play out stating how God is angry. You nor I speak for Gods mood.

    God is the same yesterday today and tomorrow. He so loved the world He sent His only Son who died for us.
    He spoke not of anger in the Father.
    What He did though was instigate many teachers who led through His works of peace.
    And we may read of these works in The Bible.
    And know the love of God.
    Vengeance is mine saith the Lord.
    We can concentrate on our own salvation with fear and trembling which is with great humility and respect.
    Not everyone believes in God.
    Fair enough.
    That is not the point here.

  4. You are a true vampire in present time. Your cruel coldheartedness is a freightening reality of what is out there. There are very few things I fear. You are a great & new found fear capable of complete ruin.

    1. Credit where credit is due. A narcissist is merely a person who adapted to childhood abuse and is doomed to seek emotional validation their entire lives. They are broken.
      Most of us found a different adaptation to similar circumstances. Our adaptation to lousy childhoods was to be so damn good, that we got praise that way. We are also broken. Our naïveté left the door wide open for narcissists.
      The above two paragraphs are exactly why it is so perfect to start with. We are both perfect fits for the other’s problems. Two broken toys trying to fix one another.
      You can take the hard road, face some hard truths, cry a river of tears and fix yourself. A narcissist doesn’t have that option. They are stuck.

      1. Fantastic reply Sean. I know you say narcassists cannot change but maybe HG could enlighten us as to how he is progressing with his Drs. I know charities that work with perpetrators in hope that they can recognise their wrongs.
        Like you I am recovered but it was a hard road and I never actually knew I too was broken. Happy life. No more abuse.
        HG can you share anything about your DRs update? Even how you are finding it. Also how is the book proceeding?

  5. Hi HG!

    1. So, is the codependent an empath as well then?

    (I hear that an empath can be a codependent, too. But I know codependents who don’t feel the emotions of others … or maybe they do and they aren’t aware of it because they aren’t aware of their own feelings.)

    2. For the super empath, does the super empath feel somebody’s emotions more strongly than the empath and codependent?

    (I know an empath or codependent empath and she doesn’t feel the emotions of others but I do and as per our consultation, I am a super empath and I can feel the emotions of others pretty strongly.)

  6. My friend showed me this link, and it’s been a very interesting read! I don’t particularly care for the labels though, as ‘super empath’ sounds kind of self-aggrandizing. I would never go around referring to myself as such, lol.

    My situation is a bit different than most, I’d imagine. I work in finance and am an entrepreneur working in finance so I encounter people with full-blown NPD probably on a daily basis. So many encounters with ‘your kind’ that I’ve developed a radar for them, if that makes sense.

    There’s a system by Dr. Adam Grant that’s about givers, takers, and matchers in business. I’d consider myself a matcher until that person has earned the right for me to be a giver. And if someone is an exploitative taker, well, either I manipulate back or just get the hell out of there, depending on how much value I place on the relationship.

    I’ve always known I had some narcissistic traits, but my temperament (sensitive) seems to keep it at bay…the majority of the time. Then it’s like I’m somewhat of a different person, no guilt, no remorse in fucking with them back.

    Anyway, great blog! I will enjoy reading more.

  7. Love your stuff HG. Had a 9-year borderline followed by an 8 year narcissist with a 4-year celibate recovery gap in-between. I put up with a lot, and I’m fixing myself.
    I had no idea what I was dealing with, but my mother never took the blame for anything (and she’s 78 now, and I just turned 50) and I don’t recall her ever saying “I’m sorry” or “I was wrong”. This behaviour was natural for me. And I was prey.
    I’ve got a 16 year-old with the borderline and introduced another cluster B (other than his mother) for 8 years. I’ve talked to my boy about these mistakes openly, and what he deals with when his mother ignites.
    Any opinions on how I might deal with this from your perspective? My son is my priority.
    Many thanks.

    1. Hello Sean, I am pleased you love my work. I can certainly provide you with assistance and this type of matter, owing to the detail required is better addressed through consultation.

      1. Just getting back to your site the past few days. I’ve actually done about 10 hours of counseling (with hundreds of hours of videos and reading, which you’ve played a large part in) and faced all my demons, and I’ve basically laid it all out for my son with the “we’ve both been raised by damaged women and this is the crap I’ve put up with. Here’s what to watch out for, and don’t make the mistakes I’ve made.”
        It’s pretty straightforward for me, and I’ve done the work. Do you think this is a valid approach? He’s 17, incredibly empathic and caring, and is a ripe target for a narcissist. He’s also seen my collapse and rebuild over the last year.

    2. Hi sean…your mother sounds like mine. Narcissists can never admit(unless part of the facade) doing wrong or say sorry in a genuine way. I gave up long ago.
      How do you know your childrens mother is a borderline? Was she diagnosed?

      1. The ex-wife is a nurse, and a nurse friend of ours told me she was bipolar during the last week of the marriage. Researching the bipolar angle (which didn’t really fit), I came across the borderline definition which was bang-on. So, not actually diagnosed that I’m aware of. But a medical professional did tell me something pretty close. She was sexually molested by her father, so the profile did fit.
        Followed by the narcissist who kindly put sugar in my gas tank to celebrate the anniversary of her discard a few weeks ago. The borderline wife seemed to have some emotional range, as there were a few times she was pretty shaken by things that happened at the hospital. She’d come home in the middle of the night and wake me up to unload her feelings.
        The narcissistic girlfriend always talked about her work day, but in hindsight, there was never much in the way of emotion about it.
        Of course, they both would jump into a rage at any criticism. My mother did the same and I grew up quite the expert at calming her down. It was only after the discard and some serious counseling that I realized I was repeating the same cycle over and over.
        H.G. will love this part; I was coaching my ninth season of kids hockey when my NPD girlfriend first saw me. I probably looked like a gas station to her.

  8. HG. Wonderful fascinating stuff. I have just a couple questions….You are a narcissist…do you get supply from this website and people’s comments? Ok I think all of us Empaths want to identify as “Super Empaths” because nobody wants to admit to being a sucker. My question is this….in your video you stated that a Super Empath and a Narc are drawn to each other. Is it possible for a Super Empath to be so strong that they actively use their “Powers” to see out narcissists because they know their ability to go “Super Nova” will enable them to prevail? What I’m saying is this….is it possible for the Narc to be the “prey” for a Super who seeks them out on purpose?

    1. I do not use the word “supply’, fuel is a more accurate description.
      Yes I gain fuel through the comments. As I have explained many times, it is low in potency (tertiary sources) and low in quantity (written word) and frequency varies dependent on time available to engage. Accordingly, my fuel needs are met in my private life. This place is not created for the garnering of fuel, but for other reasons.
      A Super Empath might decide to become some kind of “narc buster” but it is usually only directed at the narcissist they are ensnared with , because they will not sustain the super nova to use against others. Moreover, seeking out narcissists in that manner will ultimately prove counter-productive.

  9. Ummmm there is another person with the name ‘Super empath.’ How can this be? I am not that other one; how do I change my name?

  10. This is accurate of my ex from college. A damaged shell of a person. Shiny on the outside, empty on the inside, always needing a fix via super empath. Breaking it off with him “crushed him” (in his own words) and was a liberating, awesome experience for me. The spectrum is fascinating hehehe. It brings me great pleasure to see a great N blog about his or her condition in a mindful, articulate manner.

  11. You FUCK. I read something, somewhere on your wonderful website…”A letter to a Narcissist” I think it was titled. The red flag was when she said “nearly always single young mothers; grateful for a little attention” I get “VIBES” that you’re a pedophile and I’m realizing that I am a Super Empath. You stated “The Super Empath requires fairly careful management by our kind, but the rewards always mean that this person is a challenge which is often accepted” Maybe I could book a consult with you. That would be VERY interesting. LMFFAO!! I read where you wrote “as a consequence of my own intellect, I have known for quite some time that I am a narcissist AND also the REPEATED involvement of specialists who form a part of my “treatment”, which is very much ONGOING”…..I WONDER WHY (those annoying empathic traits that you despise, always looking for ANSWERS lol), why you would seek treatment?? Is that CUNT Mommy forcing you? Are you actually TIRED of being a DEMON? or maybe you have tiny pieces of brain matter left in your hippocampus, amygdala and prefrontal cortex that are SCREAMING to REGROW? God is real and I am not brainwashed by religion. Never was and never will be. I am totally connected to God, because He is the reason I was led to you. Your world is now rocked even more. You have met the one with the most intense, the brightest LIGHT. LMFFAO. You lose, because you’re DARK…the Darkness loses in the end. God is NOT in any, ANY religion. The ONLY “treatment” for you that will work, the ONLY “treatment” for CURE is finding out who GOD really is. TIP: He is ANGRY, angry beyond comprehension. Have an anxious day as usual, demon!!

    1. I am neither tired or anxious.
      Purely as an intellectual curiosity, how is God real? Does he appear in capitals perhaps?

      1. HG you do have some idiots on here. Back again to see how things are since that so called Super Empath (yeah right) made an alert on my phone. Hope your consultations with Drs going smoothly. 😄

      2. Great news HG. Any updates to share on any of these consultations or are you not allowed to? Just interested on how the process is going, very interesting indeed. Keep at it.

    2. Super Empath

      Your comment caught my attention

      You state you are totally connected to God and your light is the brightest…

      I am interested in your perspective of how this manifested within you, that is if you wouldn’t mind enlightening me, I am always curious as to how one KNOWS they are the brightest light and connected to God.


      1. Twilight, people who believe in god don’t usually use those fruitful words on a website like this surely. Those words are utterly disgraceful. Best kept locked in the mouth and for thought only. Charming person that calls herself a Super Empath. Possibly a Narc looking for a bit of a stir? Just a thought 😐

      2. SVR

        I know and I wanted to hear their side first before stating my thoughts.

        They have a God it is a matter on IF they see it or not.

      1. Twilight my error. Please do excuse me I am tired and I wrote the wrong name. Please accept my apology. That message was for Super Empath. I cannot believe what was written.

      2. This is for Super Empath not you Twilight. Very tired and hit the wrong thing. Please accept my apology Twilight.

      1. It was not rage. It was just words for an idiot. Your fuel was not really fuel then. That was your interpretation. But if you got a little fuel then that’s grand by me.

    3. Super Empath…! Here we go again! It is actually astonishing and at the same time embarrassing ( but not unexpected) to see how some articles trigger and bring up the worse and dark side of some…I do not ” see” ANY LIGHT whatsoever in your words…I just see is embarrassing to read specially if these comments really come from one on the other side of the fence….something that makes me wonder if that is really the case…

    4. Just seen this.

      Ah. Contradictions and misrepresentations.

      No one can say they are the brightest that God has to offer and say “oh you’ve met the brightest”
      The brightest ones are full of the Holy Spirit The spirit is not present where there is profanity. The tongue which is holy does not speak in an unholy way. It causes offence to the spirit and He leaves. Nor does the brightest of God exhibit such a lack of humility and boastful pride.

      I have specks in my eye too and a sinner.

      Yet I know the brightest of God never state they are brighter than someone else or the brightest God has to offer.

      They dont have to.

      They are seen by their light alone.
      Not by words that play out stating how God is angry. You nor I speak for Gods mood.

      God is the same yesterday today and tomorrow. He so loved the world He sent His only Son who died for us.
      He spoke not of anger in the Father.
      What He did though was instigate many teachers who led through His works of peace.
      And we may read of these works in The Bible.
      And know the love of God.
      Vengeance is mine saith the Lord.
      We can concentrate on our own salvation with
      fear and trembling ..that is with great humility and respect.
      Not everyone believes in God.
      Fair enough.
      That is not the point.

  12. Morning HG. Thankfully the male Narc has left me alone. I have my life back in order realising like your kind I had an addiction. I have just joined back into life after 2 years of recovering. I feel very proud of myself and my achievement, this something I would never feel let alone admit before. When you have recovered, and I do believe it is not something you can do on your own the world is a better place than before the narc experience. I am now joining back in with life activities but at risk of possible contact with him again. If this situation should happen I will not engage with him. I am friends with a few of his fb friends but that will not deter me from living my life. I have mentioned nothing to them about this man. The female Narc since I told her to leave me alone 10 months ago has tried to ask to be friends with a family member of mine, sent me a letter (read it for the interest and a projection) and most recently managed to get a picture to me on social media (which I did not open and just deleted). Do these kind of people never get the message? Honestly I have better things to do. I have joint friends with both the Narcs but I never talk about them. If information about me is given to them then that’s fine, it’s not going to cause me any concern.
    I guess what I am saying is that I am as SVR means a survivor. I can see your kind in my circle now and lists to my intuition. Human predators at large. Like us though you are entitled to live and if this is mainly down to our upbringing then it’s sad we both ended up the way we did. Thank goodness for the awakening as I have always thought something was missing in my life, this was what it was. So now I join walking through life with “the normals” and it feels wonderful.
    HG you were part of my recovery and as I am not on your site very much now I want to thank you for your part. At the end of the day I was the one that did it and am a lucky lady. The consultation we had I found valuable. You stated I was a carrier empath of which I believe to be correct. There has been behavioural change now: I have withdrawn from the toxic people and now know my worth. My question is can I also have been a super empath? This because I was a challenge to the Narc.
    I have now sent many people in your direction and will continue to do so. The help I received from you on here has also been of great benefit to my career.
    I am patiently (get a move on ) waiting for little boy lost. Take care HG. Although I know you are abuser you have taught me so much. No disrespect I not ever want to meet you but I think you are wonderful (some fuel).

    1. Hello SVR, thank you for your kind words and also for referring people to the blog. Little Boy Lost is being carefully curated but I am sure your empathic trait of patience will serve you well! It is rewarding to see the impact my work has had on you and also the fruits of your own hard work coming to bear in terms of the progress that you have made. You have seized the power!

      1. Your work will benefit many. How are we able to understand if we cannot personally have a know in how your mind works. Can you answer my questions please? Thank you.
        Omg! Really, I suppose I will have to be patient for the book.

      2. One can be both Super Empath and Carrier because one is a school of empath and the other cadre.

      3. Thank you wonderful man. See you now and then on your blog. Keep up the good work, although I know there is a reason for it which we may get to know about one day.
        I suppose I will start buying the tissues now for reading little boy lost when it’s published.

      4. I look forward to seeing you dip in from time to time SVR and keep spreading the word.

    2. SVR, I’m so happy for you that you found the light at the end of the tunnel to brighter days and enjoying life again. Thank you for the update. Now you can drop by with stories on running from Narcs in the other direction.

      1. MLA how you doing? Where are you at with recovery? It has happened again twice. I reacted very differently. ☺

  13. Great article, enlightening, thank you.
    My narc is a female. It has taken me a while to put this all together. I now know fairly clearly where I fit into all this. Again, thank you.

  14. This is extroadinary. I come from a whole family of kind hearted people, I am one of the few males in the family and have a problem with having weak boundaries. Girlfriend problems. Friendship problems. Work problems. I attract controllers. Yet although I can tolerate a lot of abuse, emotional manipulation, obligation and guilt and the like… I don’t lack any self-esteem or confidence. I have strange traits. It gets to a point very, very late in the day where enough is enough and I go with my intuition create distance and/or pull the plug entirely. Game over. I sometimes question if it’s me being manipulative or if it’s me being controlling but in my heart I know it’s the ultimate defence mechanism I’m gradually enforcing.

    1. There’s people very good at playing kind hearted.
      If you get easily confused, shocked, uncertain and such, this is because of the environment you grew up in.
      Watch Kung Fu Panda and find your inner piece!

  15. You’re a fucking idiot LOL. I’m a super empath, I attract nothing but super narcs. I destroy them good, crush their self esteem for daring to attempt. You all are one-trick monkey. I yank the chain and give you a dance, then show you real narc injury. PUAHAHAAH

  16. So the super empath is more likely to know something is going on, am I correct HG? The difference between codependency and super empath is now making me think I may have it wrong. I knew something not right but initially ignored and observed then I challenged each time to have a silent treatment administered. I just let these happen with no challenge. Although I needed to understand why strongly. I got that feeling of familial normality. I knew I had to avoid him at all costs but dI’d not know initially why, intuition don’t you love it. You had however said it’s more a super empath and a mid and above. This guy was definitely a lesser. Can these 2 go together for a few months?

  17. Bwahahaha….looks like everyone thinks they are “super empaths” seems very narcissistic to me.

    1. Bwahaha…no one here cares what you think. If you aren’t here to recover, learn, heal or help, you may go now.

  18. Im super empath male, wouldn’t the relationship eventually work out? I watched your videos and they hit close to home. It was kind of strange like the videos were talking at me.

  19. Wow. I’ve been into you HG and your work since Nov 2016… I’m not sure how i missed this huge piece…. but it all makes sense. Perhaps I’m a super empath. He did almost immediately change after we got married…. it was confusing…. it wasn’t till about 9 years and the 4 kids later that i started laying groundwork to escape him…. and i did. Except the kid connect. But im learning….
    From what u know of me HG… would u say I’m a super empath?

  20. Fascinating blog, I can’t stop reading!

    I am a total Super Empath who “escaped” the Mid-Range Narc 5 months ago. He poured a lot of energy into keeping me engaged and happy and “sharing the dream”, until after we purchased a very large house. I guess he thought that I was now trapped by marriage and financial burdens, so he let his charming mask slip.

    What happened? I caught him in a *blatant* display of gaslighting. When he did it, he was staring at me as if to use his mental powers to convince me that the event never happened. I stared back at him, amazed at the obviousness. Once I saw that, there was NO way that I could unsee it. Then I retreated into my own head for a year to observe him and to try to figure out my escape.

    He could sense my withdrawal and, instead of asking me if I was ok (like a regular person), played daily guilt trips on me: “you used to love me”, “you used to want to have sex all the time”, etc. Alternate the guilt trips with frequent passive-aggressive comments, and I’m amazed that I didn’t get angry and tip my hand. Oh, he got laid off during this time period, too, and decided to just retire and let me pay all of the stuff off. Um, no.

    I simply drove away one day in the middle of an argument, when he stepped outside to pace angrily in the side-yard.

    Right now, I am going through a withdrawal period of “I was in love with an amazing illusion”. It is totally withdrawal, too, worse than quitting smoking. I haven’t gone No Contact yet (although the divorce is final) because I’m playing a delicate chess game. I don’t want to enrage him TOO much until my name is off of that mortgage; my fear is that he would walk away from the payments in order to get back at me.

    My apologies if this comment is overlong; I enjoy writing, too.

  21. Has there ever been a Greater that later became more like a Super Empath?

    Is it psychologically possible?

      1. that’s fucking lame.

        With them the possibilities AREN’T endless..
        The limit is at a much more mediocre level, NOT the sky…

        Even spontaneity, isn’t technically that random with narcissists.

        It’s like those basic ass dolls that speak…BUT, they only have 5 catch phrases they can actually say. :/

  22. I think I’m a Super Empath from reading your blog. Why would he say to me”you not going to let anybody control or manipulate you, are you? I’m thinking to myself what kind of question is this , (why would I) I’m not knowingly inviting anyone to control/manipulate me…
    Youre my savior H.G., I can’t thank you enough

  23. So HG do you think from seeing what I posted earlier that this is a typical scenario for the mid-range narcissist or could be greater? He hasn’t come back to me at all and I’m hoping that’s the end of our ties. I still see the sociopath girl where I work that could still connect with him as she goes out of her way to see me hours she’s not supposed to be there. Another thing is if he gets married asap to this new main supply, would a mid-range be satisfied with just that one supply and never leave her and by chance never devalue her like he did to me? That’s all he wanted from me was me to get married to him. He is only 25 and I’m wondering if he will get worse or better with age?

    1. Hi D, the mid-range – or any of our kind – would not be satisfied with keeping the one primary source forever, he would devalue her and eventually discard her, so do not be concerned with that. In terms of the effects of aging, it can exacerbate our traits as some of our kind fight against the diminution of certain powers, our traits continue effectively irrespective of aging or they become blunted and that is accepted as a trade-off for other benefits. It depends on the cadre and school of narcissist.

      1. This narcissist just wants to be married so does this mean he wants the primary source tied to him while he has the other fuel sources on the side for life?

        He just emailed me yesterday out of the blue like nothing happend between us.

        Two words, “I’m happy.” No reply was made from me. My email account deleted right after(I don’t know how he got the new email). I didn’t have that tugging in my heart of hurt like I had with attempts of his to draw fuel in the past.

        I have really been making progress healing and he doesn’t have that power like he did before. So no reply ever I gather is the best thing to do, even though I asked him never to have any communication whatsoever with me ever again of course he would not respect that.

      2. Marriage is a key way to securing the primary source (because as a love devotee the empathic primary source believes and will honour the does given and the narcissist knows this). It is not uncommon for a primary source rot find that their devaluation starts very soon after the wedding day because there is a combination of the fuel having been as good as it gets (in the mind of our kind) and a “I have you now mentality as well.
        The primary source is of course tied to us for life anyway owing to the narcissistic covenant and as ever we have all manner of different fuel sources (some the primary source would not object to – tertiary sources and inner and outer circle friends, family, colleagues and of course those that the primary source would object to in respect of lovers).

        You did exactly the right thing D with regard to the recent e-mail which you have received.

      3. That made my stomach my sick thinking about how close I was to marrying her. She was trying to have me plan the wedding, she was picking out my dress, and she wanted me to change my name. I never even wanted to change my name but she made a big deal about it so I would have. She was getting impatient towards the end. She would have had everything. Great reminder of how I would have been treated after the wedding.

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