The Good and the Bad and Nothing Else

Image result for picture of good and bad

 

We all like to attach labels to people. People do it instinctively in respect of someone who they have just met, someone they have read about, a person they have known for a long time or someone they have seen on television. It is rare for someone to say that they do not have a view or an opinion about someone. Examples might include: –

“He’s a dependable chap, always there when you need him.”

“He’s a funny looking fellow.”

“She is very catty.”

“She is stunning looking.”

“A complete attention seeker.”

“A genius musician.”

“Really annoys me, I don’t know what it is but he does.”

Those are just classifications based on looks and personality. One can classify somebody by race, religion, birthplace, occupation, gender and so much more. Labels are used all the time as people are placed into boxes and compartments. Our kind do the same, but we differ in a fundamental way. We have an instant classification of people which is very straight forward. We will place people into further categories after this initial categorisation often using labels you would not and then we may well attach additional labels similar to the ones you use. What is this initial categorisation? It is simple. A person is either good or bad. That person is either with us or against us. They either do what we want or they do not. There are no ifs and maybes about these classifications. There is no grey with us when it comes to deciding into which camp someone should be placed. You are either white or black. You cannot be light grey, mid-grey or dark grey. We do not do the middling; it is one or the other. Let me give you some examples of those around me at the current time.

Julia (my boss) – Good

My mother – Bad

Paul (a lieutenant of longstanding) – Good

Andrea (predecessor primary supply) – Bad

Rachael(sister) – Good

Eric (colleague) – Good

Tania (lieutenant) – Good

Lesley (It Girl) – Bad

Elizabeth (litigious former girlfriend) – Bad

Phillip (lieutenant) – Good

Colin (competitor at work) – Bad

Not one of them am I indifferent to. You should be aware that this categorisation is based on my view of them irrespective of their behaviour towards me. Lesley for instance responded to a hoover a little while back and still messages me with pleasant comments from time to time. I play along as I am a far from finished with her but she is a bad person because of what she has done and moreover I know she will be looking for an opportunity to unseat me and seek some form of revenge over me as a consequence of my repeated thwarting of her ambitions. I know her game.

These categorisations are fluid. In fact, they are extremely fluid with some people, usually our intimate partners who are our primary sources of fuel. You may begin as a good person when I wake-up but by breakfast you are a bad person. Sometimes you will be utterly unaware of why your status has altered and it may appear capricious and arbitrary but it is not; you will have done something or failed to do something which has shifted your classification. Most often it is linked to your failure to provide me with fuel and therefore you will be designated a bad person and subjected to treatment in accordance with such a status; devaluation and denigration. Conversely, one can also move from bad to good in the blink of an eye. You won’t necessarily realise why this is, but we do. It is entirely logical to us.

As I mentioned once we have classified you as good or bad, we will classify you further, usually linked to the fuel you provide and how under our control you are. After that we will use similar labels to you – an interesting, handsome person and so on. Thus, take Paul my longstanding side kick. He is naturally a good person but I also regard him as a very good source of fuel, a highly reliable source of fuel and completely under my control, loyal and dedicated. My mother is a bad person. Whilst she is a good source of fuel for her emotional outbursts and temper tantrums, she is only fairly reliable. I have little control over her, she is a traitor and scheming to dethrone me, she has no concept of loyalty and is actively plotting against me. Thus whilst she may provide fuel the other factors cause her to be placed in the bad classification. I do not consider her to be grey just because she provides fuel but cannot really be controlled.

Why do we regard people in this manner? Why is it that we cannot take a holistic view of them? For instance, one might suggest that with the ex-girlfriend Lesley that she at one point was loving, dedicated and did much for me. Yes, she became a broken appliance and let me down, she also caused affront to me for which she must be repeatedly punished. She continues to try to be pleasant to me. Do I not look at this myriad of attributes and factors (plus more besides) and place her on some kind of spectrum between good and bad? No I do not. Why? Because my need of fuel is such I cannot have wishy-washy, amorphous classifications of people. This person is good – I can rely on them to give me positive fuel and do as I say. This person is bad – I can get negative fuel from them but I must be careful as they are plotting against me and seeking to avoid my control. This then enables me to apply my manipulations appropriately. It is also necessary to enable me to maintain my superiority and my self-worth. I need to keep those two aspects alive at all times. If you do not do what I want, you are calling into question my superiority. You are suggesting that I am worthless. Thus you are a bad person and I am the person who is admirable and worthy, you are wicked and evil. If you do as I want, you are confirming my superiority by submitting to my will. I am full of self-worth because you are acknowledging this by acting in accordance with my wishes. Deviate from that and you become a bad person.

You should have learned by now that because we look at the world through a different lens to you, there are many things that you will do (which you will not be aware about) which cause us to oscillate from regarding you as good to bad and then back to good, often in the space of an hour or less. This is all based on how we perceive your compliance to be. During our seduction of you, you are only ever a good person because you represent that wonderful potent source of positive fuel which we desire. You represent the prospect of an undimmed source unlike the bad person we are devaluing and about to discard. You always respond positively to our overtures, our love-bombing and you give us what we want. Hence you remain a good person. Those who are in our coterie, our lieutenants and those who form our façade remain good people. Challenge us, defy us or even worse see through us and you are challenging our need for superiority and self-worth and you must automatically be designated as a bad person, irrespective of what may have come before, that would create a more complex view. You failed to do what we want; you are a bad person. You then change and do what we want, you become a good person. It is a simple and necessary classification that we utilise.

     Accordingly, everything is either good or bad with our kind. Admittedly, though it usually turns ugly as well….

145 thoughts on “The Good and the Bad and Nothing Else

  1. nikitalondon says:

    HG i have a questiom? is it good or bad the only classifications? or is it more like good, bad, useful not useful, intelligent, stupid.. is there not a whole range of compartments?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      This classification applies to all those we engage with for fuel. Thus they are good or bad.
      Prior to that one would operate on a basis appertaining to the target’s viability to provide for our needs, Nikita.

      1. nikitalondon says:

        Thankyou for your answer HG.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          You are welcome

  2. nikitalondon says:

    i missed what happened to Claudia? Where is the comment where she lashed out at the people of the blog?

  3. Indy says:

    Phew, catching up on the blog reading. Dang! And thank you for filter,HG! Yes, ignoring, point well made!

  4. Ah Oh says:

    And HG is in the 3rd person again for a moment? Interesting.
    Thank you nonetheless. I do not like any negative talk about HIM.

  5. bloody_elemental says:

    I am not fluent in crazy, but I understand that the level of WTF has reached proportions too epic for me to try to even make sense of anymore.

    Yawn.

    1. MLA - Clarece says:

      Agreed! And I fear it could scare off brand new readers not familiar with the usual water cooler talk…

      1. Fool me 1 time says:

        Glad to read the two of you feel the same way! Thought it was just me and I was on the wrong site!!! WTF!!!

        1. MLA - Clarece says:

          I don’t engage at all.

      2. bloody_elemental says:

        Perhaps if we just ignore it…….

        1. MLA - Clarece says:

          I have been. If only I could ignore JN as easily…lol

        2. BE,
          I couldn’t ignore it. That’s why I spoke. Glad ABB got it too. I’m glad you spoke as well. She’s got another new name and is back again. She’ll be pushing up “daisies” if she tries that shit again. You are awesome btw.

          1. MLA - Clarece says:

            She’s back? Oh boy!

          2. MLAC,
            Are you talking about ABB or daisies/Claudia/10 names?

          3. MLA - Clarece says:

            It came across as the return of Claudia.

          4. Yes under daisies now. I think FTW was saying ABB understood and went off on claudia, which I was happy about. I being who I am had to give the beatdown, it was totally out of hand.

          5. MLA - Clarece says:

            A girl’s gotta do what a girl’s gotta do…

      3. bloody_elemental says:

        I also think it`s ridiculous for a person to have so many bloody profiles. It makes things confusing, not to mention annoying.

        Maybe if we all throw ourselves at HG`s feet and cry and whine, and clutch at his legs while we beg for salvation, he`ll have mercy on us.

        1. MLA - Clarece says:

          I just know I find it very tedious filtering through all the email notifications that are completely repetitious and redundant. It’s not even just to HG. It’s begging for attention from everyone and it’s at a level none of us are equipped to be dealing with.

    2. Ah Oh says:

      I think so Bloody. Perhaps WordPress can help with a filter from the IP address.

      1. HG Tudor says:

        HG has it under control. I allowed it to make a point. Point has been made, filter applied.

      2. bloody_elemental says:

        ALL TOGETHER NOW LADIES!!! ONE, TWO, THREE…..

        WE LOVE YOU, HG!
        WE ADORE YOU, HG!
        YOU ARE PERFECT, HG!
        YOU ARE THE MAN!!!!!

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Suddenly everything feels better, thanks BE!

  6. There it is says:

    * smiles sweetly

  7. There it is says:

    I thought you were going ….

  8. Claudia says:

    I love Mr. HG, Dragoncreeper. This is why I wish to know the most minute details of his very insides. No, it’s not about sex. F*cking is not about sex. It’s about the love for seeing and knowing the insides of a person. You see, I do not care that HG does 1,000 scrunches, or what he said he did 1,000 of; I care about what this man is like on the inside…the deepest inside because I love him so much. And, being f*cked takes me to different dimensions…thus…nevermind…

  9. RMG says:

    Happy to hear this :), well off to “babysit” hope your evening is well

  10. RMG says:

    Thank you HG. How are you doing today?
    I do hope tip top!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      I am excellent well, thank you for your kind enquiry.

  11. Claudia says:

    A Big THANK YOU, to Sir Tudor, for his treasure of valuable insight and information he has bestowed onto me in the time I have had the privilege of being on this site. Mr. Tudor, for whatever so reason you do divulge such insights to us, it has been a great gift to me. I thank you for all of your time in answering my questions from the day I did join this group, and up until now. I am desperately sorry that my boundaries have been blurred, and caused anger amongst your other readers. I, thank you, Mr. HG Tudor, Sir, for having the patience (if you will) and grace in which you have continued to bestow on me in your unwavering acceptance of me. It has been a uniquely rare gift for me, indeed. I Do Love YOU, HG Tudor!!!! I always will!!! <3 <3 <3 Good Bye, Beloved!

  12. Claudia says:

    At last, I shall leave this blog, but without certain understandings of why some can talk about sexual pleasures, but I can not!!!!!! I will leave!!!!! My apologies, dear friends, and non-friends alike <3 <3 <3 Much Love
    Claudiasssssss

  13. Claudia says:

    I regret that I have degraded this blog 🙁 I am at a sense of boundary loss, I do see now. Please accept my sincere apology and I will refrain from exposing any fantasies lest I lose my grounding, again 🙁 I will only strictly speak of article, at hand, from this day forward. I am sincerely sorry that I have lost footing, as I see it from the commenter’s side, now. I shall refrain 🙁 🙁 🙁 I am deeply sorry. But, if you wish for me to leave, I will do so, swiftly.
    Claudia

  14. RMG says:

    And things got real interesting sense I have been away, I see you attract some I will say interesting people HG.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Often the case RMG. Welcome back.

  15. I. Cam'tGoBackwards says:

    Had long suspected the misogyny.

    Matrinarc roots, will presume. Saw that, too —

  16. May I recommend your site on my blog’s Facebook page and post what you write under the heading of author’s and posts I like ?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Hello Marshall, by all means, thank you for asking.

  17. ???!! says:

    So you are looking for another option besides women. Interesting.
    Earlier I was wondering if you could go a month with no flirting/physical involvement with a woman. Maybe then you’d miss a woman’s sweet body parts.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Do you mean abstain from sex for a month as well as no flirting?

      1. ???!! says:

        Yes.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          I could do it if I saw a reason to do so and I would find other ways of extracting my fuel.

          1. AH OH says:

            Narcs do not care about sex like we do correct? They do get a satisfaction but not emotionally for themselves. LOL like a woman faking it. >

          2. HG Tudor says:

            We enjoy the physical sensation. We relish the fuel that comes from it. We regard sex as a weapon. It is all in Sex and the Narcissist (well a lot of it it, there is a follow-up to it, in the offing.)

      2. ???!! says:

        (Perfect comment accidentally deleted. Here’s an attempt:) Going a month without women would create a shift and help break your addiction. It would take longer than that, but would create a change and could lead you to different paths other than using women – should you choose. The fact that it is difficult to do, shows that it’s an addiction. You would be fine financially and it’s not life or death. Of course, logically it gives you less, so no point in that to you . People survive concentration camps, so you’d survive this. You are planning to do this sometime. It could change everything to you. I know because I’ve given up things. Very tough but the outcome excellent.
        I just realized that while your types think you are superior beings,you’re not. You rely on us weak, emotional beings. If you were superior to us, you would not need us. But you need many of us in your lives. You’ve just proved you’re not superior.
        A superior being is like my husband: he holds his own, is responsible, disciplined, has sacrificed much for our children and me, is there for us, cooks, cleans, does many chores. He is brilliant, tops in his field and besides day-to-day jobs, has written books/articles and travels the world due to his work. He is an expert in his field. He exercises daily: no fat on his body, cooks/eats very healthy food, cares for our pets, goes to church, is well spoken, well presented. Our children are getting excellent degrees in universities due to his imput in their lives. He’s invested much into them (and financially). I know now the question everyone wants to ask is how then, did I get involved with a Psychopath Criminal? And one of the worst.
        Back to superior beings: it’s like celebrities getting the spotlight while heroic soldiers doing amazing deeds in a filthy, enemy land gets hardly any attention. The Narcissist is like the celebrity and people, like my husband are the heroes.
        Narcs live in an unreal bubble. Lieutenants and flying monkeys get caught in that bubble. Sir Tudor has shown us the reality of that bubble. We all make choices how we live: whether as a Narc or victim.
        But their bubble will Pop. Unreal now, Pop later (think Eternity).
        Thank you Sir Tudor for showing us your world and how you operate. And do go that month to break to freedom and to really show how superior you can be.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          All very interesting Question Mark but it does, as you identified, beg the question how if everything is of such a high calibre with regards to your husband and his input into your domestic and family lives, how did you become involved with the PC? I am assuming it happened whilst you were with your husband, given the way you phrased your comment. Furthermore, was your entanglement of a romantic nature.
          Since you chose to list his superior traits, here are some of mine. I am talented at my job having advanced my career repeatedly, I am well-regarded by the higher-ups, I am intelligent with superb academic achievements, I am well-spoken, I am well-presented, I am magnetic and charming, I have an excellent sense of humour, I am well-read, I travel owing to my work, I am disciplined because I apply myself to the garnering of fuel each and every day, I write extensively, I exercise almost daily, I have no interest in cooking although I can if I have to, I am talented in bed, I am an excellent orator, I do not have pets, I do not have children but I chose to have neither. My nephews think I am great. I do not attend to church as I see no need to do so. I do not undertake chores as I do not need to. I am regularly invited by people to dinner, drinks, golf etc. I was an accomplished athlete, footballer and marksman when I was younger. All of this denotes superiority. Some of my kind do indeed regard themselves as superior when they are not, I can point to much that makes me superior and then I can add more should i choose to. I am superior because I have always been driven and pushed to succeed, to be the best and to achieve. To suggest therefore that I am not superior is erroneous. I accept that my kind need your kind and this reliance is something which I hate, but I have learned that this is the case. One might argue that dents one’s superiority to have to have such a state of affairs. Ordinarily I would deny this, but in this forum, I accept that point. Of course, one can iron that dent out by pointing to how we are able to draw such people to us and that we are superior compared to them in the way we operate. Indeed, one has to have some kind of comparison in order to denote superiority or inferiority.
          It is clear that there are people, such as your husband, who have many admirable traits and he is not one of us. It is clear that there are those of our kind who also have admirable traits (combined with less admirable ones – from your perspective) and then again some of our kind who only have traits which are ultimately not to be admired, thus the differences arising from the schools of narcissism.
          I agree that Lieutenants and our coterie get caught in our bubble. Absolutely. We want that to happen.
          As for the month’s abstinence, we shall see and I shall certainly write about it. Thank you for your comment.

    2. Even I can’t do that….

      1. ???!! says:

        Since I can’t reply to mine or Sir Tudor’s comment, I reply here. This is in regards to superiority. No one is perfect. My husband is definitely an excellent man but he’s not perfect. No one is. He would have his side of the story re: our relationship. Long story short, I was hurt over many years “(emotional/verbal). Finally having had enough, I went online to chat and met whom I will call Thief (as he stole my heart and almost my soul). He sounded normal, we chatted. He was well spoken, well written (he had been ghost writer when young for porn magazine). He was delighted to meet me, emailed TONS, texted TONS, made me feel very special. I hadn’t been looking to date – obviously – I was married! I was just very hurt and wanted someone to chat with. He became much more than that. I thought I met my soul mate and as life is short, was going to leave all for him. As it was an emotional reaction to go online and chat (something I only knew existed), I hadn’t researched anything. (Now I have learned TONS about online dating, psychopaths, narcissists, etc.). We met. I fell in love very quickly. I believed everything he said. All lies. He said I was the only one and he loved me very deeply, like he never loved anyone. I could literally write a book on all that happened. What did happen, I was dumped @ 6x, helped him out financially when he was in trouble. He had so many, many troubles. Someone said he sounded too good to be true (as far as loving me), so I contacted a Private Investigator for rates. The PI just asked a name, and without charging me told me a few things that were contrary to what Thief had told me. I then prayed to know more. (Yes, I was living in disobedience to God, but wanted God in my life and was trying to make things right so I could be with Thief.) One day God revealed to me (it was like a voice booming in my head) that Thief’s 1st wife was alive. Thief had said she had died young. I did some online searching and found records of her and her Facebook page. A few days later, God made clear to me a word. I Googled it. It was a nickname Thief used and showed him on Escort sites and various dating sites. I tried contacting him. Later he replied that he wasn’t dating anyone; didn’t have it in him. I do think these sites were from a few years previous. When together, things were wonderful. I LOVED being with him. Turns out he was engaged the whole time (he gave me such a hard time thinking there was something between them). Months after finally dumping me, he was jailed for meth and having sex with a young girl. 1 week out of jail he married 3rd wife (dumb lady he was engaged to) and is in Mexico with her, I believe (she’s Mexican). I found out more and more (like that he has AIDS!). I make quite a detective, which would infuriate him, for sure (why I may never get a hoover). Meanwhile, I had backed away from my husband, but things got better with him. What I’ve come to realize is:
        1. God’s way is the only way to truly live a fulfilling life (I know the difference of living for Him, and not having Him involved). He created us, designed us and truly wants what’s best for us and He has a wonderful plan for our lives.
        2. Don’t think you stand, lest you fall. I was such a strong, good person (people who know me would be stunned). I fell bad.
        3. Everything is a test. I sure flunked this one, but God is very gracious. But this was a lesson I think I needed to go through to learn. Had this not all happened, I would still be fantasizing about a soul mate.
        Re: superiority: people can have many good characteristics. You have some wonderful accomplishments, Sir Tudor. But I think it says something for a man to be with one woman for 27 years and never be unfaithful to her. Not once. My husband has never been unfaithful to me (and no, I’m not delusional about that). That takes true character. That is something you can’t/won’t do. He is loyal to me and our children, sacrificing much for us. While Thief seemed so wonderful, it was my husband hauling day in and out that impressed me. When I had car trouble, my husband stepped right up to help me. Thief was nowhere in sight and I helped him buy a transmission. My husband is an umbrella of protection over me. He has provided very well for me, should something happen to him. Even though we may not have wild sex, he makes dinner for me every night and serves me. Our relationship lacks in many regards, but there are also good things to be said of it, and I’ve heard that some marriages in terrible trouble have ended up better than even at their beginning. So who knows? Any 2 people married 27 years would have some sort of issues. But things are getting better, and there’s something to be said of that. We haven’t divorced. As we are only responsible for our own actions, I need to do what I am responsible for. Superiority isn’t only what is on the outside, as both you and he have some great accomplishments, it’s also what’s on the inside. He has deep love for his children and has great relationships with each of them. He doesn’t think only of himself. He will not die alone and unloved. He has a clear conscience. He has lived honestly and decently and has much respect from people. It’s not based on lies/fakeness. He is the real deal. He’s not living a double life. He has honest relationships with people. He’s not using people. There is peace in not having to hide, to be yourself and to be able to live in the open. And what about knowing you have been true to yourself and have a clean heart? And to have a clean heart before God, only by accepting what God has done for us by having Jesus in our hearts? He has all that, besides being highly successful in world standards. I almost made the worst mistake of my life, but luckily Thief dumped me before I made it. I’m thankful that God has forgiven me and has been so gracious to me and that my eyes were opened to truth and to the true value of a man.

  18. ???!! says:

    I’m reading Sex and the Narcissist, Sir Tudor. Seeing as you all are misogynists and hate the fact that you are shackled to us, I have a suggestion …. unshackle yourself. Be free of us. Go your merry way. Since you hate us so much, be done with us. You can get fuel in other pleasures than us bad, unproducing witches. And do us all a favor by doing so, but …. please do keep us in your blog. We love you too much.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Therein lies the problem Question/Exclamation Mark, we are unable to release the shackles.

      1. ???!! says:

        You forgot something, Sir Tudor-y, you excel at everything. Yes, you can release the shackles. You can, can, can. If you really hated something, you’d figure out a way to be rid of it. Or at least, I thought you were smart …

        1. HG Tudor says:

          I appreciate your faith Question/Exclamation Mark and nice try but I am smart enough to know when something works effectively and not to damage that without suitable safeguards. I am waiting for the latter to manifest.

      2. ???!! says:

        I honestly believe I know part of the reason you can’t unshackle from us. For a lot of reasons, I know this + you said you don’t know why you cheated but something drove you to do it. That something, I very strongly believe, are demons. Explains so much. You may already know part of this, as per your logo. I picture a demon with a steering wheel sitting on the shoulders of narcopath I knew, grinding down hard and forcing him to do very evil things. Of course, his actions opened gate for them.
        And yes, my $ took off on that horse. Great description.

      3. bloody_elemental says:

        Not demons.

        They see themselves as the master manipulators and thus, wouldn’t bother tangling with us because we would give them too much of a run for their money.

        They also can’t be trusted and ultimately, they do what they do because they want to bring about the ultimate doom and downfall of mankind. We are wary of people (and beings) that seek to do that and so, we probably wouldn’t spend too much time parlaying with demons since their ultimate goal would be to ruin us.

      4. ???!! says:

        Hi Bloddy Elemental, yes, you are right but yes, I also know for a fact demons were involved with psychopath I knew + one my friend was with and married to for 20+ years. As a man convinced vs. his will is of the same opinion still I will leave it at that, plus it’s too much writing to explain the facts of it.

      5. Love says:

        Hi BT. Are you saying that demons are master manipulators? More so than narcs?
        What of the beast, that Mr. Tudor refers to, who lives within you? Is he/she/it a demon?

      6. bloody_elemental says:

        The beast HG refers to has nothing to do with Satan or demons. It is something else entirely.

        Yes, demons are master manipulators. I never said they were moreso than Narcs, but they`ve had thousands upon thousands of years to hone their skills, so…..

        The thing about demons is, you need to relinquish control of yourself (mind, body, soul) to them in order for them to give you what you want. No Narc worth their salt would ever relinquish control to anyone – human or otherwise.

    2. ???!! says:

      I did it again: I bought another one of your books: Exorcism. I need to get him out of my mind. No offense, but it will be the last of these books I’ll buy because then he will be out of my mind, right? (But I’m also commenting on my phone which I said I’d never do.)
      Comment about section on Prostitution from “Sex and the Narcissist”: funny how you pride yourself on being superior to others by being able to afford a prostitute BUT YOU NEVER PAID as you either took the $ back or sweet talked them into a deal you never kept. What you were so proud of was totally false.
      Another thing: your big challenge in life is to get a prostitute to orgasm. Sir Tudor, you have many exciting experiences, a full life, all sorts of daring and dashing adventures, but that’s your big challenge?? Get a life. Or an STD (from that type of behavior). Some challenge. (I do get why it’s a challenge, but you can play better than that, although I’m sure you think the other experiences are.) It’s like guy on Titanic who ate sack lunches not knowing the fancy dinners were included.
      A question (need to live up to my name here): have you ever had a romantic relationship with a lady that you didn’t devalue or discard? Did you ever NOT behave like a Narc with a woman?
      Thanks so much for responding to our questions, your interactions and your writings.

      1. HG Tudor says:

        Hello Question Mark, thank you for purchasing the book. You may decide to keep reading in order to aid your understanding and of course the exorcism does not happen over night, there is further work to be done over a period of time, which of course gives you additional time to keep up with your reading of my works!
        Indeed the challenge you refer to is deemed that because it appertains to fuel. I understand from your perspective you will regard it with scorn and dismay , but from a fuel perspective it is a challenge.
        I won’t get an STD, I have never had one and I get checked.
        You made me laugh when you wrote about living up to your name. Yes, I did have a romantic relationship with one lady who I did not discard and I did not devalue. I still behaved like the narcissist I am with her though, as I seduced her in the usual way that I do.
        Thank you for your kind compliment and thank you for your thoughtful questions, they do cause me to reflect.

        1. MLA - Clarece says:

          A romantic relationship where you did not devalue or discard? That is worth an article to write about. Unless you are referring to Kim, and it hasn’t come to that yet?

          1. HG Tudor says:

            Indeed it is worth an article Clarece. You shall see it in the fullness of time.

          2. Are we going to find out you are married and you write this blog as a husband and wife team?

          3. HG Tudor says:

            Ha ha, no you won’t find that out because it is not the case.

            Must go, HG is having a tantrum at the office and is ringing me every 30 seconds. `Back soon.

      2. ???!! says:

        You are most welcome Sir Tudor. I do think differently and I had a light bulb moment at that time – that you’re challenged by sack lunches when there’s gourmet dinners in life and that what you thought was superior (in being able to pay), you really weren’t superior after all. Thanks for thinking it through. I do want what’s best for you and your kind, because in the end, there’s an eternity to face or enjoy.

  19. alexis2015s says:

    I have a curl right in the middle of my forehead.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      That’s dirt. Go and wash.

      1. alexis2015s says:

        Dirt in a good way ?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Or is it the mark of Lucifer?

          1. alexis2015s says:

            Oh no way ! I’m just keeping my finger in the dike !

          2. HG Tudor says:

            As you were then Alexis.

          3. alexis2015s says:

            Hahhahaha that made me laugh a lot !

          4. Lol..I have a dirty mind…lol

          5. alexis2015s says:

            I’ve been thinking about your comment today HG and wondered percentage wise, how many people you pass on the mark to ?

          6. HG Tudor says:

            The mark of the devil?

          7. alexis2015s says:

            Yes HG

          8. HG Tudor says:

            Everyone but only a few can see it.

          9. alexis2015s says:

            OKay so I’m a little confused ? So everyone who is / was an appliance of yours you pass on the mark to ?

            But most people don’t necessarily go on to do evil things after mixing with one of your kind ? Some admittedly, they’ve been hurt so want to hurt others

            But you’re saying they all have the mark ?

          10. HG Tudor says:

            You misunderstand the purpose of the mark Alexis.

            It means you have been branded as ‘Entangled with a Narc’ thus the more astute of our kind will recognise this in your behaviours and proceed accordingly.

            I didn’t mean it in the sense that that person is an evil doer.

          11. alexis2015s says:

            Well that’s a relief HG ! I’m glad we sorted that out! J was worried I was going to turn into something evil with no choice in the matter !

            Yes I’m well aware you and your kind know when we’ve been primed.

            I have a big sign up now, ‘don’t walk on my grass’.

            It’s working

          12. HG Tudor says:

            Good for you Alexis.

  20. Ah Oh says:

    Does your family know you write books?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      They know I do some writing but they do not know about these books.

      1. Ah Oh says:

        Do the good doctors know you are the author of these books? I know you have mentioned they sneak on here but you know them. Do they know you only as HG Tudor or your birth name too.
        Isn’t it most difficult to keep all this a secret?
        Do you look forward to revealing yourself?
        I still chose team HG even though you are a dangerous narcissistic sociopath. I do not have to provide you with fuel other than what little you get from the blog. I can’t save your targets, but you have saved many of us on the blog. I am not ass kissing here just stating the obvious.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Yes they know I write the books. They encouraged me to do so and continue to do so.
          They know me by the name given to them by my family.
          Not especially. My identity is hidden. The work I do is kept separate from those who do not know about it. I maintain the separation of worlds effectively enough.
          It will be very interesting to see the reactions of people. The greater reactions will be from those who know me in person when they realise what I actually am and what I have been achieving in another realm. Those who know me in this realm may be surprised about some things, and others will think it make perfect sense as to what I am, people regard things differently don’t they. I will enjoy the reactions on both side though of course.
          Thank you for choosing teamHG, it is the right choice.

          1. MLA - Clarece says:

            Do you actually foresee all this work coming to a culmination of a big reveal and you blend your HG Tudor world with your personal life?

          2. HG Tudor says:

            That depends on certain factors Clarece.

          3. MLA - Clarece says:

            Would that interfere with your five rules for yourself on the blog?

          4. HG Tudor says:

            I cannot say.

          5. AH OH says:

            HG is a Narcissit, his rules, his game. This could mean the rules of the game will change. One rule will never change and that is HG rules. I understand this more clearly with each post. >

  21. Starr says:

    Interesting concept . What do you label yourself Mr Tudor ?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      I have been given the label by others.

  22. HG,
    Do you classify your regular commenters? Or are we too tertiary sourced to be classified?

    That question I imagine was avoidance….but can be answered.

    Here’s what I really want to ask, but am afraid of your rejection.

    If a person is good then bad then good again and over and over how does that fit in with say arguing with a narcissist then they act like nothing happened? Did the victim flip from bad to good or was negative fuel then positive fuel what you needed and bad or good was not even factored in?

    I feel insecure with the Narcs I know because I don’t know if I am bad or good. So the pleasing displeasing is that the push pull thing? I want everyone to be happy with me. It saddens me if you don’t tell me if I was bad or good. I want your approval. Do you know this and that’s why you do that to me? I don’t know how to act, which person do you want me to be? I can be what you want I just need you to tell me. Does the marking of bad make you not wonder about me? I’m lost and alone and feel abandoned with no closure. Why don’t you give me closure? Tell me what offense I committed? I want to please you, why won’t you let me?
    None of those are rhetorical HG.

    I know these questions are alot HG. If it is too lengthy, I’m sorry. I am just broken right now and I hope you will answer. I need an answer from someone. You are the expert. I read your books. I am just so torn up right now I cant piece it together. Will you please answer my questions? Please? I’m so sad.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Indeed I do. You are all good. Until you become bad.

      A victim is good, thus positive fuel is provided. A victim becomes viewed as bad, thus the devaluation commences. During the devaluation positive fuel can still be provided, for instance if the victim praises us, but it is the negative fuel that is most desired and more usually forthcoming because of the devaluation. For instance, a victim may say how much they love us as they are crying – that is negative fuel because of the tears of hurt and sadness.
      The victim, from their perspective, does nothing to move from good to bad, but they do from our perspective.
      You are good. Victims are invariably good because they are empathic and they have good traits.
      We decide you are good, then we decide you are bad. From your perspective, nothing has changed. From our perspective everything has changed and it has to change so dramatically because this allows us to draw the fuel much more readily, the contrast has to exist. There has to be the distinction between say strawberry and mint-choc chip, not between vanilla and strawberry. The greater the difference the more potent the fuel. This is why we lift you high up so the fall is much greater.
      Imagine building a wall starting at ground level. You build it 10 feet high. Build a ditch below it that is 10 ft deep and thus the fall is 20ft deep. The same principle applies to why we switch between good and bad, there is no inbetween.
      Yes we know you want approval, we know that you want to fix and heal, that is why you were chosen. These traits make you hang in there, try to please us and remain bound to us.
      The creation of confusion so you do not know how to act means you are more likely to be emotional – therefore more fuel – and it stops you moving forward.
      You are not afforded closure because that works contrary to our interests. If you have no closure, you remain stuck, you will remain susceptible to hoovers and you will keep providing us with fuel.

      1. Thank you for responding. I know you have explained it many times. I appreciate your attention to my desperation. I just can’t fathom how I can flip from bad to good in your head so quickly. It could be hour to hour or day to day or month to month or even year to year. I am a good person. I just want to be recognized and get accolades from people. I want them to tell me I was good. I did the correct thing. I was obedient. I listened. I tried my hardest. All I asked in return was for you to love me because I tried hard. I tried to live up to your standards but you kept changing the bar. One day you wanted me, the next day I was abandoned, be it physical or emotional, but still abandoned. I think you as a Narc need the same approval and accolades just you believe that you don’t need to please anyone. They should please you. And the power you get from believing the lie that you control another instead of what it really is, abuse to make them praise or else. You intimidate for praise. I perform for praise. We both really put on the performance. We both are actors. I act to please the audience. You act as an illusionist to please the audience. They all approve us sometime. Until I trip and fall off stage. Until you don’t hear the applause loud enough. We both need to quit the show and realize all the things we do are really not acting. They are our own. There is no construct. It not a facade. That is really us. We really are skilled, smart, funny, and all the other things. The darkness, the fear inside, the thing we can’t say, the hollow empty space, the nothingness, the creature. Is not us. It is the pain, hurt, abuse, abandoment and lack of loving attention. We believe people will see it and know we are a fraud. That we are empty and We are not the construct. We cannot allow this. We fear this. If they knew what I really was weak and pathetic they won’t like me. It’s all in our head. The truth is we are the construct. We are the facade. The monster is what’s not real. Something or someone made us believe we were the monster and that was the real us and we battle everday with it. I’m afraid if I talk about the monster I’ll die. I was told I would if I did. I was fed lies by my family. Dont admit it. Don’t speak. Hide. We can’t be known as weak. We were never weak, they were for abusing us. We survived. Now we just have to believe we are not the monster. We are the construct. You can’t portray something that you don’t possess. We are not method actors. We are people who deserve love without conditions and intimidation and physical force.
        We are everything we present to the world. We are everything they see. We just have to believe it and kill that monster because he’s created by fear and negativity. He came from them. Cast them out. It’s not easy. But we have to try. Don’t we?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Hello FTW, bewildering isn’t it? You know, it is a common cry from victims that all they want is to be acknowledged for the good they have done and how hard they have tried to do the right thing for our kind. That cry is stated from your perspective because anybody looking at it from your perspective would think that giving such an acknowledgement would be the right thing to do, the fair thing to do and surely it is not hard for us to do? But from our perspective it will only be done if it serves a purpose and then we will just take it all away because that is what must be done. We do not operate according to the principles you and others regard as fair, right and just. we operate according to principles that say it is fair for us to be unfair, it is right for us to be wrong and it is just for us to be unjust.
          You are correct. We believe people should please us, love us, admire us, adore us and so on because we are so entitled.

          1. So you want the accolades out of entitlement? You deserve them? Isn’t that just a masked insecurity? If I don’t get accolades I will punish you? Is that not what builds your construct? Attention, acknowledgement, approval? It’s the same thing an empath wants. We are exactly the same. We submissivly try to get attention, you dominantly do the same. Agreed?

          2. HG Tudor says:

            I am inclined to agree with you FTW. The more I have learned about your kind is that we are on the same spectrum but at different ends. My clock analogy is always pertinent at such a time (no pun intended there).

      2. Tappan Zee says:

        HG—are we victims here?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Where?

  23. KF says:

    Someone asked me why the subject of narcissists and anti socials has come up so much lately.. do you have an answer for that? I think it is an awareness like anything else. I also wonder if you are bothered by people’s negative responses to narcissists? I see you are getting a lot of positives on your books in which I agree with. All the same, is it all just fuel to you? My ex told me he just wanted to be able to be alone. That he didn’t understand people being all emotional. He was never going to be happy. I just wondered if you feel ok or are you going through your own personal hell from your point of view… do you think your kind as you call them reap what they sow?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Hello KF,

      Three reasons
      1. There are more of us;
      2. Increasing awareness as you identify; and
      3. Increased capability through technology to share the message.

      If someone tells me I ought to be shot for what I am, I know they are angry when they send that message so it is just fuel. I understand why people respond in a negative fashion to us, we abuse people and hurt them, but we also achieve a lot which often gets forgotten about, usually because we are stood atop a pile of bodies when we have done so.

      I am not going through my own personal hell because I am exceptional at what i do and well-fuelled. If I was less capable and struggled for fuel, then yes, it would be hell.

      1. There are more of y’all? I thought that was not the case…

        HG, when you write about your mother you clearly show a little pain seeping through… I am sorry to call it out and you may have a lot of disdain for her but it is there in your writing. My ex was the same way. His mother would ignite his fury just talking on the phone… I felt really bad for him and I may be inclined to agree that he did it to get my fuel but it was different…

        1. HG Tudor says:

          No need to apologise, she is a right royal pain, but HG is in the ascendancy as you will eventually see.

          1. Are we speaking in 3rd person now?

            Dragoncreeper wants you to prevail! 😉

      2. ???!! says:

        And do you think you reap what you sow? Question KF asked.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Yes for fuel. No for consequences.

      3. Kate says:

        Hi Hg, how do you experience fuel positive and negative? You say it is all fuel for you.. Since you don’t have emotions, I can’t imagine any reaction/ you may experience.. since you don’t have emotions.. my narc acted like a robot at times… I never met anyone like her… it wasn’t a comfortable relationship.. since I was the one with all the feelings…

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Hello Kate, I do experience emotions, but largely they are negative in nature. The robotic appearance is when the narcissist has not sufficient cognitive function available to mimic the appropriate response. It may also be the narcissist entering the “neutral” phase prior to devaluation. I experience fuel as a sensation of power, which varies in strength and duration.If you read the book Fuel, this will tell you more.

          1. Kate says:

            HG
            Thank you for recommending your book fuel for me to read.. You are a gifted author..
            Thank you for taking the time
            for commenting on my questions..

          2. HG Tudor says:

            You are welcome Kate. Thank you for your kind compliment.

      4. what just happened says:

        All achieved in such a cowardly way, behind a curtain of darkness, no?
        (Show your face, why the need for the mask?)
        If narcissists are so great, then they would make all of those achievements fair and square.

        The ends do not justify the means and if only you narcs experienced how the good of the world view you, it is quite pathetic. I am not intentionally being mean – I just truly pity narcs now. Why? Because when I wake up every day not knowing how I’m
        going to feel, yet still have that constant pain, have emotional flashbacks of the “good” times, miss him, fight with my mind – all of that is done without harming another person, not even him. I wake up and force myself not to take my own life – every day I have to convince myself to go on, when I feel I am completely alone. Every day I look into every single face I pass on my way to work and I count one more person who is untrustworthy, a user, undateable, not the narc and will never be good enough as the narc and my mind tells me I am doomed. But I try to trust the universe and God that maybe things will get better and they won’t if I hurt others. I wake up and have to deal with the heartache/crying that ensues during the more difficult days. THAT is real courage and triumph. Not showing up and abusing someone weaker than you. So long as narcs continue as they do, they will ALWAYS be nobodies. To need another human being to charge your batteries on an every day basis is far from strength.

    2. ???!! says:

      Re: reaping what you sow … I saw pic of psychopath that I was so in love with and discarded by. In pic he looks not well, as in 1/2 dead, sad and like he’s given up. Friend said he looks like he’s maybe on drugs but his eyes are empty. And he’s at “Happiest Place on Earth” in pic. I also notified person I know who’s tops in District Attorneys office who goes after these bad boys and she’s sent info to chief officer of division as he has arrest warrant out on him. Not sure if they’ll get him as I think he lives across border with new wife. I so hope she realizes what he’s done. I so wish I’d told her I was his girlfriend (he said she was family friend and not say our relationship). Even when I knew him, and not knowing his real life, as he lied about everything, I could see his life spiralling down. Now he looks like it’s catching up. He could also be sick from AIDS. Also interesting, his 2nd ex wife approached me to do business with at event I was at. She wouldn’t have known who I was. I’ve been wanting to contact her, meet her, etc. but always restrained myself. I, of course, said nothing about him or knowing who he is and it will be a month before we connect for business. Wow! I had prayed beforehand that she’d be there (it was in her area) and connect with me. Only @ 100 were there, but it happened. You do reap what you sow. It may not seem soon, but I will happen. Will keep you posted.

  24. Claudia says:

    Ahh, I have some many more fantasies to share! But, I need to remember my boundaries, and not “hog the blog”. I do not wish to show ill-manners 🙁

    1. what just happened says:

      This is clearly a reason you’ve been ensnared by and will continue to be ensnared my Narcs – you are pathetically desperate for attention. You haven’t seemed to have learned your lesson I suppose.

  25. Watermelon says:

    So Lesley is still hoovered for negative fuel? I think my ex narc views me as bad as I’ve complained too many times about his shitty behaviour. I wondered why he keeps hoovering and stalking if I’m so bad and he hates me that much.

    My ex husband (not the narc) watched as the narc stared at me non stop during tennis recently and said he thinks the narc is infatuated. Yet he ignores me and treats me like crap.

    I always thought if you hated somebody you’d do your best to push them out of your life forever.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      No Watermelon, what better way than to harness the hatred to acquire fuel and to dole out some punishment.

      1. MLA - Clarece says:

        Why would one want to spend any part of any day harnessing hatred? Especially if you view that person as bad and someone who has wronged you? You always have fresh fuel lines to draw from.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Some people need to know that they have been conquered Clarece.

          1. MLA - Clarece says:

            To me, all it fuels then is the vicious cycle. Hurt people keep hurting. Perfect example of laws of attraction, like attracts like; hurt attracts hurt. Both parties are being conquered in the end.

          2. HG Tudor says:

            How are both parties conquered?

          3. MLA - Clarece says:

            Who is really winning anything when all you’re trying to prove is you think someone is weaker than you?
            Both sides, Narc and either Empath or Co-dependant seem to have experienced some trauma, abuse, extreme pain that is harbored in their body. If you follow Jung or some Freudian theories, the subconscious will reanact to get control over a painful situation to eventually lead to a masterful resolution, thus releasing the trauma from the body. Freud termed it ” the compulsion to repeat.”
            The conscious self can make one go “numb” to not feel the pain or shame and there is a rush of “feeling” when they find someone to repeat the cycle with. It’s just self-defeating if one can’t find the right resources to heal.

    2. what just happened says:

      Watermelon – it makes sense to them. The one I was involved with comes around and insists on being hated when I tell him I don’t hate him (at times I do, I just do not want to give him the satisfaction). I believe that they need to feel hated not only for the fuel but to feed that need as per Freudian theory like someone else here noted. They and even we need to continue to reenact that pain. Through my healing, I’m learning what mine are – obviously being attracted to grade A assholes of the narc variety (father ruled with an iron first and norther was emotionally absent and mean) and also realizing that liking rough sex is not just about liking rough sex. It’s about desensitizing the emotional part of sex and slap reenacting punishment. I was not sexually abused (to my knowledge) but for me the reenactment of abuse flows through sex too.

  26. Claudia says:

    Perhaps if an autopsy is ever performed on Mr. HG Tudor, someone will notify me??

    1. Ah Oh says:

      ENOUGH! I do not want to come on this blog and read morbid crap. I am sure others will agree.

    2. Claudia, seeing an autopsy on the TV is not the same a learning the history of the person that you are about to cut open. If you are empathetic, as you say you are, you should consider that person a human and what led them to death and why the autopsy was requested. I love Dr.G myself but it’s because what she is doing helps solve a crime that was committed against the person…in some cases it was just coincidence but it’s definitely not sexy…

      Blood, I’m a little curious about this chainsaw and Huey Lewis and the News…does it also include Christian Bale? Because I might be interested too! 😛

      1. bloody_elemental says:

        But of course, Dragon.

        1. Purrrrrrrrrr…

  27. Claudia says:

    Sometimes I fantasize about being deeply f*cked whilst I’m watching an autopsy being performed. I suppose this is a common fantasy, though. I guess I’m a bit old-fashioned, if you will… oh, well 🙂

    1. AH OH says:

      You are off the hook nuts! Claudia. Have you seen an autopsy? >

      1. bloody_elemental says:

        Psst…..There`s a whole lotta WTF going on here, yeah?

        1. AH OH says:

          Yes! Bloody.
          I am hoping HG will take into consideration of the other bloggers that read the posts. It is not appropriate nor interesting what she is posting.

          1. bloody_elemental says:

            True. I mean, I have all sorts of fantasies involving chainsaws and Huey Lewis and sorbet, but you don`t see me posting about them all over the blog!

            Oh, wait a minute…..

            I find it curious and amusing.

          1. Claudia says:

            I love this song!!!!!!

      2. Claudia says:

        AH, I have seen a thorough Autopsy on Science Channel <3 <3 <3

      3. Bloody beat me to the the WTF!!! What happened to just GOOD and BAD?

    2. Claudia…I think you need to calm down little lady. You are walking a very fine line. It is great that you have sexual fantasies but you are going overboard and I really don’t think that it is appropriate to talk about others in regards to their death, autopsy or what not.

      If you want to fantasize about hot dogs, mustard and ketchup that is fine. Please refrain from the morbid stuff!

  28. Claudia says:

    I do have experience with this, I suppose. I do try to find more “even ground”. Again, DBT Skills!

    1. Indy says:

      Claudia, yes yes DBT!!!! DBT talks a lot about reducing black and white perspective and finding the gray. One reason for this is that when we engage in black-and-white thinking we tend to become more emotionally charged……rigidly holding onto an extreme view (good/bad)…. when one can simultaneously hold two seemingly opposite perspectives at once, it’s called being dialectical. For example, we can hold in our minds that someone we love(good) has pissed us off or does something that we do not like (not good in our view) and still love them (both good and bad held at same time)…… this helps us not lose “our shit” when somebody we love disappoints us….

      Does this make sense? Keep reading those DBT skills!

      1. HG Tudor says:

        Well put Indy.

      2. Claudia says:

        I will reply to this gracious comment.. Thank you, Indy <3 Do you have BPD, too? I tried to Follow your blog so I could stay in-touch with you, but link did not click. Thank you for your encouraging comment, Indy. I am feeling so much better, today 🙂

  29. Snow White says:

    No wonder the day is like a roller coaster. In your mind we change minute to minute.
    I joked after I got my tattoo that I needed a meter in the middle that could fluctuate from the good side😇 to the bad side. 😈
    Little did I know that there was soo much more… I must be very bad right now to her, a traitor.

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