You Fill Up My Senses Pt 2

 

I ensure that through my enthralling enchantment of you during seduction that I create tunnel vision for you. I am all that you see. Not only is the case because I make it my mission to spend every moment I can with you, but I ensure that I am all that is seen in your mind’s eye as well. If I am not physically present with you then I will have done sufficient during the course of the day so far to have you thinking about me repeatedly. When will I call? That was such a delightful message that I sent earlier? Where will he take me tonight? He makes me so happy, I am so lucky. I will be the only person in your sights. You will allow friendships to fall by the wayside, not see family as often and even begin to neglect your interests possibly even work in order to see me. You want to look on me all the time because the love and radiance you see (which is actually just being mirrored back towards you) is so magnetic, so compelling and utterly addictive. You will stretch that lunch hour from work to spend longer over lunch with me. You will cancel that gym class tonight so you can see me rather than wait another day. You will cut short drinks with friends so you can get across to my house so you at least have part of the evening seeing me. All you will see is me and all you will see is how good, wonderful, amazing and brilliant I am as I carefully apply that rose-tinted filter across your eyes and you will not even notice.

Even when I have cast you aside or if you have been able to escape me, my construction of the ever presence will result in you seeing me everywhere around you. You see my ghost at the window, where I would stand looking at the view as I waited for you to get ready before going out. You see me lying on the bed, patting it and inviting you into it for another ecstatic session of love-making. You see me across from you at the dinner table, walking up the drive way and in that usual seat on the tube which is where we first met. You pick up a book and see me reading it, asking your thoughts about it. You pick up a jumper and it is blue, my favourite colour and you see me once again. I have infected anything and everything around you as I ensure that I am seen everywhere you look. Even closing your eyes is no escape, for then, perhaps more than anywhere else you still see my image pin-sharp and evident.

I make sure that I am the only voice that you hear. Not only do you feel that tingling sensation when I whisper in your ear, tell you rude things down the telephone or read that particular piece of poetry that you love – all acts designed to have you respond automatically to the sound of my voice – I am ensuring that I am blocking out the sounds from any competitors or detractors During seduction I only want you hearing my voice. This has two effects. Firstly, you are listening to my propaganda all of the time and with no dissenting voices able to get through to you, you accept what I say and do so quickly. Secondly, I am causing, through repeated reinforcement, you to become addicted to the sound of my voice. You will associate hearing me speak and especially saying your name with something that is wonderful and this increases the potency of your addiction to me.

I will use music specially to create so many links between you and I. Each special moment that we share should have its own particular soundtrack. The first meeting, the first time I gave you a lift in my car. The first time we made love, the first meal I cooked for you and the first you cooked for me. The time we sat and watched a storm together, holding hands. Music plays a huge part in assailing your sense of hearing and creating powerful connections between the beautiful things we once did together and certain pieces of music. We will ensure our relationship has catch phrases so that when you watch an advertisement you hear my voice saying the same sentence as I did when we were together. Every time there was a knock at the front door, I said the same thing and it made you laugh no matter how many times you had heard it. Now, when there is a knock, even though I have gone, you hear my voice. No matter how hard you try to evade hearing my voice or hearing the sounds that are inextricably linked to many moments in the relationship that we had, you will continue to be assailed by them even when I am no longer stood beside you or in a relationship with you.

I apply my scent, like some beast marking its territory, ensuring that during the seduction certain smells – my after shave, my anti-perspirant, my shower gel, the washing powder I use, the air freshener in my house are all direct links to me. The olfactory connection that I establish is a unique code between you and I. For each relationship I create a different set of fragrances so that there is not just one reminder of me but six. I smell so good and I reinforce this by allowing you to keep a shirt of mine imbued with my scent when I am away so that you can sniff it as you lie in bed. It seems such a delightful gesture of mine, so that you have something to remind you of me when I am on a business trip but I am creating your addiction through your sense of smell and paving the way for you to be unable to smell sandalwood in the future without thinking instantly of me. You will associate so many smells with me, from personal fragrances, to the smell of my house, the interior of my car, the meals we take together and so forth. It is all designed to ensure that you make the connection between the wonderful and that fragrance during the seduction so that you cannot do anything but remember those golden moments when you happen to smell a particular scent at a later stage. It is the most powerful evoker of memory.

I will use taste to create yet more fantastic bonds between us. I will encourage you to try different foods, different dishes at restaurants that you will enjoy. I will introduce a signature drink to you, something that you have not had before, so that you really enjoy it and immediately associate its tangy taste with me. You will recognise and become swept away by the taste of my kiss. A wonderful and mesmerising taste which sends you into sensory overload, making you tremble with anticipation. I ensure that certain tastes will be linked to those wonderful moments and memories. You are not that special however as these tasting techniques will have been used with others and will be used with others again.

Finally, you will crave my touch and want to touch me. The times you felt the stubble on my face with your hand, or against your cheek as I gently kissed you as you dozed. You delighted in the sensation of defined chest as your hand brushed across it. The times you would always allow your palm to stroke my newly shorn hair, the short and soft hairs gracing your hand. How you felt so safe when you felt my arms around you at night or when I took your hand in mine, telling you without saying anything that everything would be alright. How you now miss my expert ministrations as my tender fingers probed and caressed finding all the right places, creating another scintillating experience that now with my departure you still yearn for. The way I placed my hands on your shoulders when I arrived from work and approached you from behind, the reassurance, familiarity and strength flowing from me to you as sat down you tilted your head against my arm and my fingers began to massage your shoulders. The way I used to wipe the tears from your eyes with my mouth, the delicate application of my lips soothing and absorbing the source of your woe. The times I would tickle you until you could not breath but the delight soared inside of you. How you now miss touching me and being touched by me.

I will always fill up your senses so I become your universe. I will always fill up your senses so that even through the numbness I leave you with, you crave seeing me, smelling me, hearing me, touching me and tasting me. I fill up your senses and then take it all the way making you crave the return to such a degree that it is not a question of it, but when, I shall allow you to be filled up once again.

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24 thoughts on “You Fill Up My Senses Pt 2”

  1. This is a shining post in its honesty HG. I have a sense you may very well tickle the readers with a combo sensations.

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      1. You’re welcome HG. Have you established completing a book in reference to the difference between a codependent vs an empath from the Narcissist perception and/or point of view?

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  2. I am praying for you prayer is positive fuel for you.

    God Bless you

    AVE MARIA, gratia plena, Dominus tecum. Benedicta tu in mulieribus, et benedictus fructus ventris tui, Iesus. Sancta Maria, Mater Dei, ora pro nobis peccatoribus, nunc, et in hora mortis nostrae. Amen.

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  3. The shirt is the only thing I still have!! I’m afraid to look or touch it!! I don’t want those feelings to come back ever!! I don’t want him back nor do I ever want to see him again I don’t want that hurt ever ever again!!!

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  4. Wow private consultation. Congratulations dear G.! All rich and broken will rich You now! What an ocean ! 😉 all the best!

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  5. Dear Mr. Tudor, I have just read your book “Fuel” in one sitting. Simply could not stop. Engaging and eye-opening. Looking forward to reading more of your titles. May I send you an email seeking your insight into my particular situation? Thank you in advance!

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  6. Thank you very much! Greatly appreciated! I have just sent you an email. Looking forward to your brilliant advice.

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  7. Beautiful writing as always. Sensual is way more important. The part that sticks out like a pin to pop the balloon is the “you are not that special” part in the sense of taste paragraph. People will hopefully heed that statement.

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  8. Interesting. I have been married for 6 years now (first marriage was 17 years). I’m not sure why this Narc chose me as an attempted target. Having a degree in psychology and human behavior, I decided it was time I delve a little deeper and play the reverse game he’s used to playing with other women here (most of them married). I carried it a little further. I let the Narc think he was playing me. He appears to track the scent of my perfume and knows when I’m around and when I’m not. A bit creepy but nothing worse than knowing someone is married to this man. He’s a monster. Being an empath as well – I can see the darkness of his being. It’s a scary dark place. He harbors so many secrets and I would venture to say he’s an emotional and verbal abuser. He tries to lure women and he can’t seem (and never will be able to) capture me in his web and silent chaos. This appears to throw him off kilter. I know what buttons to push and I’ve called him Case Study #7. There’s nothing behind the False Self and sometimes I think he knows I have figured him out – sometimes I think he thinks he can still con or try to con me. I have to admit the dysfunction is quite fascinating at best. To think these robots think of people as tools and statistics is baffling.

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    1. Hi. I mean no disrespect by asking this, but why play? I was targeted by two people who seem like Ns…they would never volunteer to be diagnosed, although N2 was forced into therapy and based on a session I attended, therapist pegged him…my dad also pegged him, but I digress. For whatever reason, they targeted me.

      I have a protector inside. She saved me (or maybe it was me who saved me..J and I coexist) from making terrible choices with both. It pissed them off royally but in N form, they never listened to me. In hindsight I would have listened to the gut and ran as fast as my feet could go. I didn’t try to push buttons and I was confused that they had joy in pushing buttons in people. It did bother them that they couldn’t push every one of mine. You call yourself an empath and you might be, i never claimed that label. Why play, though?

      I don’t expect an answer.

      HG, these questions are also for you. I don’t expect an answer, either.

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      1. Our kind engender a whole range of responses and reactions in our victims. Chief among those are the desire to know and the desire to obtain revenge. There is a great sense of injustice about how we treat people and how we then shrug it off and walk away into the sunset chasing after a new victim and leaving carnage behind. People, not all, but many, want to address that injustice, they want some form of revenge and in this instance HNWL has chosen to play in this manner because she wanted to know what made her narcissist tick but most of all she felt a need to address the injustice and achieve some form of revenge.

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      2. Hello 1jaded1. I would not have engaged had it not been because we were “friends” for so many years and now wanted to know – why he targeted me and how the mind of a true narc works. I have studied this “disorder” if you will, and it was almost like – here it is – in real life and in color. Full color. This person was never my “friend”. As an empathy – I realize that I have attracted many of these types of people in my life at some point because I do possess certain qualities they are attracted to – but always in a benign fashion. I could not believe that he was trying to “play” me and now I am being punished/silent treatment/ignored for not falling into any trap. Life always has lessons to teach us. For me this went beyond seeing someone who I thought was a friend, betray that friendship and attempt to cross the boundary with malignancy. That is a scary thought and prospect as I never expected that from a “friend”.

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