That Doesn’t Matter
Our sense of entitlement, lack of consideration and our failure to recognise and respect boundaries means that we are important and you are not. Our need is an emergency. Your needs are secondary. Our requirements are fundamental. Your wants are irrelevant. If we want something it must be done and you must drop everything else, cancel your plans and ensure we are provided for and catered to otherwise all hell breaks loose. Fail to do something we want and when we want (even if we haven’t told you what it is) is regarded by us a criticism and our fury is ignited. We may impose a cold furious silent treatment or lambast you with our heated fury but either way we are important and you are not. We show no appreciation of your situation, no consideration of your position and scant regard for what you might need or have to contend with. It is predictable all about us. Any situation, any time and any moment we will trample all over what you are doing in order to get what we want done. Whatever you may have organised, planned or whatever you are doing is minutiae and utterly inconsequential to the massively important event, occurrence or happening that we have decreed. Expect interruptions, abrasive treatment and a complete lack of manners and consideration. This mind-set that what you are doing is not important appears often and repeated and is symptomatic of so many of our narcissistic traits. Here are twenty instances you may recognise where what you are doing is not important right now.
- Talking over you.
- Changing channel on the television when you are clearly watching something.
- Switching off music that you are listening to.
- Playing music loudly when you are relaxing.
- Thrusting a newspaper under your nose when you are reading a book and saying “look at this”
- Talking to you when you are on the telephone.
- Calling you at work and raising a trivial matter and demanding that you do something about it.
- Asking you to pass something that is in reach when you are doing some other task.
- Saying la la la when you are trying to explain something.
- Making you late because we needed you to straighten our tie several times first.
- Calling you indoors from an outdoors task just to point out something on the television which is irrelevant.
- Calling you and asking where something is when it is easy to find.
- Calling you when you are socialising and demanding that you return home to deal with an emergency – such as the blinds are stuck or we have run out of peanut butter
- Demanding you prepare our evening meal when you are trying to get ready to go out.
- Feigning a greater illness when you are unwell.
- Waking you up to tell you something pointless.
- Ringing the landline from our mobile (withholding the number) and insisting you answer when you are trying to eat and then hanging up.
- Demanding to be picked up or given a lift irrespective of what you might be doing.
- Using items you need to complete a task.
- Thrusting a tablet under your nose as you are trying to do something and telling you to “watch this” only to see a video of a man falling down some stairs.
It does not matter how trivial, ridiculous or childish the behaviour is as long as it disrupts you and thrusts your attention onto us, even if it is to react in a negative way, we will always behave in such a way.
60 thoughts on “That Doesn’t Matter”
That was a major typo . People and objects I meant to say .
I thought it was the case. People are objects to us, there to be controlled because everything must be controlled.
Oh. Just read all the food & innuendo comments.
Now I feel really stupid having commented on the piece!
Oh well —
Never feel stupid. Your comments are this sites intention. It’s just some of us cannot help going to the dark side.
My fave was his expecting me to instantly change (a major aspect of) *my* life, to suit him…of course by reading *his* mind, ahaha!
A charlieFoxtrot, totally.
Soo don’t miss that, either!
Charlie Foxtrot…for sure…a true Snafu… 😉 X’s
PS. Some of these still make me laugh.
WP keeps having me unfollow you. Wth? Maybe it is a sign.
This is my life. For over a decade. #5, #11, #12 and #20. >>facepalm. It’s like babysitting an adult 3yr old who has shitty parents. Ridiculous. Now that I know what it all is, eh, I am totally unaffected. Wtf ever. Yeah. Ok. The ketchup is exactly where it was yesterday, yes the video clip is funny, and no I don’t want to do whatever absurd thing it is you are trying to talk me into because you know I don’t want to do it, even if you throw a toddler fit or pout. Now go outside and play and leave me the fuck alone for awhile. Have fun. Nice try, and no it won’t bother me, because I know you are just going to do whatever it is anyway. Shoo. Go.
Oh I remember living like this vividly!
It’s ironic . You demand and need attention from people but you fail to recognize that we are human beings who see and feel and care and not appliances. If you do not truly care about the life or well being of an individual then why do you care if he or she shows you attention . If we are simply objects in your mind why go through all of this ?
All the objects are there to do the same thing, provide us with fuel.
So in your mind you see no difference in simple and objects ?
I’m not sure what you mean by simple and objects, Starr.
Oh wow that was a major typo . I meant to type people and object . Do you see no difference in people and objects ?
Okay, serious post here regarding this entry…
Oh the joys of “Oh, I am not receiving your full attention?!”. I am so incredibly familiar with this… It was cute until he demanded cuddling for nap time… sleep is for the weak, I don’t do naps.
It is something we must all have in common. I don’t like boring or ” too nice” either. I will admit to being addicted to the bad side that I visited. I did have fun there.😉🔥😈
This is all making me hungry
Frenchie… you naughty girl! He did Hung Lo…. Well, so I’ve heard!
Ps. Just wanted to add that normal approach from mens is NOT NORMAL FOR ME. And I don’t want their attention . .. I want His…… ONLY HIS. He is who He is and I accept thay….Why is that? Why I only want a narcissist and DO NOT WANT others?
It’s very insightful of you to see this pattern in yourself. I, too, have a soft spot for a certain type of man. My friends and I called it “spicy”…I like smart, exciting and funny men that are ambitious. If they act like a “golden retriever” (too good, too dull, dopey happy), I loose my attraction. I think for me, it was how I was raised as a kid and how I learned about love. It’s hard to change this pattern. If you wish to change it, it’s doable. If not, at least you know what you are getting into….I’m trying to change some of it in me, but time will tell for me. Best on your journey.
Indy my middle name is Sichuan Pepper.
With Thai peanut sauce? 😛
I am partial to some Thai so yes.
Mmmm masaman or panang curry, yummmmmm…
One of the hardest moments during the seduction is when the target orders a korma. I know the chances of them sharing my jalfrezi are low. Best switch restaurants next time then.
Unless I’m missing an undertone of naughtiness, it’s nothing that a little cream couldn’t fix 😉
I’m partial to Sum Yung Guy.
Ha ha. Would you like to meet my friend Won Hong Lo, he is a little imbalanced.
That’s a tea bag isn’t it?
No that’s Ty Phoo.
A man goes to the doctors. He says to the doctor, “Doctor, I am in a real state, I am anxious, I cannot sleep. I am a Red Indian but I do not know whether I live in a teepee or a wigwam. Help me?”
The doctor nods.
“I know what is wrong. You are two tents.”
Boom tish! Ah fank you!
Very good. Tea bag is listed in the urban dictionary as doing something with won hung lo….heehee.
I know. I see the slops of your delinquent mind are spilling over again FTW, to the Correction Chamber you must go.
Is it the repair shop located at 122 Construct?
Giggles while she watches the harem and throws a biscuit at…….ducks🙃
FTW, ***hands biscuit, motions to HG**** innocently dips in my curry
Ha, SPICY… mmmm my favorite!
Right? I can’t drive 55, if ya know what I mean! ***Hands a biscuit***
I do hope that you are also driving a stick Indy ;)… it is so much more fun when you are in control and driving fast! ***takes biscuit and butters it – shares – while speeding and shifting*** 😉
I’ve sworn off stick shift for a lil while 😉
Once I feel my healing has strengthened, you better believe I will be in control. Aka Janet Jackson 😉
I understand my sweet friend and you’ve been through quite a bit lately! <3
Here, I feel this song can be misinterpreted in two ways… but I feel you have been through a lot too recently and I think this song is for your heart: https://youtu.be/iDez532kGGE?list=PLHKfhZ02M2Y1BBrsgy9EQCryhvcED8mZG
What a deep and soulful song. I feel it. The pain of lives wished for and shared experiences that never were, of losses experienced, and the loss of fear….rather that the fear of loss. Yes, I feel like this. This is so much more appropriate than you may know. The strength I now feel from pain and living life to its fullest, and standing at the near end, alive still. It’s strength and numbness, mixing with whaling prayers of a life after. Thank you sweety, hugs and tears.
BIG HUGS for you Indy! I know and I wish I could make it better!!! It will get better and you know you have a lot of friends here! <3
This is how I’ve been feeling lately….sometimes love just aint enough
It isn’t! There is so much more! Love is just a word… we all need the feelings to just light up in our souls!
Well, even if love is used truly, not just a platitude, it still isn’t enough. You see, I loved my ex that died very deeply (the deepest relationship I have ever had) and I left him as he couldn’t remain clean/sober and I was watching him die while I was with him(I brought him to rehab 10 times!). That was about 12 years ago when I left, though we remained close friends all this time. I had to let go of the need to save him. He had to save himself. Love does not heal others, it heals ourselves. It can be healing to others but if they do not love themselves, it is all for not. Same with my recent ex. I fell for him hard, but he was not going to change and he was engaging in both relapses as well as narcissistic abuse with me. So, I left as I didn’t want to be a casualty of his. It was self love that allowed me to leave. Love for another is never enough by itself, you have to love self. My love for others has never cured anyone. Nor will it. My love can only provide the earth for seeds to grow. They have to water them, nurture them and take action. Not my place.
Beautifully stated Indy, I couldn’t have said it any better!
I am sorry that you have had to endure such heart ache… I have not quite been in your shoes yet. I am afraid that I will have to refrain saying too much on this blog any longer but know that I believe you are a strong and beautiful person. No matter how strong you are, we all need virtual hugs… because I can’t physically give you one! <3
Life can carve large caverns, but we can fill them with beautiful rivers. I think it was Shakespeare that said the more deeply one carves into the chalice(carving a wooden chalice), the more wine it will hold. Pain allows for beauty and love to enter in, if we let it. I let a lot of pain enter my life. I am hoping the river comes soon.
Are you leaving this blog, DC? I hope not, though if you need to, I will miss you. You are such a beautiful compassionate soul here with lots of spunk and spirit.
That is great! I’m okay with the pain…it only makes me stronger! I cannot wait for the river as well!
Indy, I am not leaving the blog but the ex is watching and I need to try and disassociate any emotional feeling towards him… He is not leaving me alone and I think he may be reading what he thinks is hope for him. :/ <3 Ill be here my sweet friend! 😘
Fwiw, i hope you stay too.
Indy is right, I am the same way. I am not interested in mundane, run of the meal sweet guys. I do love the sweetness but I need so much more… the excitement, the challenge, the royal treatment, the incredible sex – because they AIM so high to please you when it suites them, because they need you to give your all. I don’t know if you see a pattern this way either… the narcissists you choose end up ALWAYS being even greater than the last. It is an addiction…
Run of the meal! Brilliant, I know what was on your mind when you were typing that DC!
Why thank you HG… 😉 😛
I think everyone here knows my taste…
Very addictive!! Makes it burn white hot and freeze you in artic snows….
Agreed, but I’d like to think of it as melting the Arctic icebergs… then being frozen in the same ocean…
Ok I remember all… I know how frustrating it is for us etc…. but yet I AM ALL OVER AGAIN FALLING FOR A NARCISSIST and can’t help it… it’s like other people’s approach to me is not appealing, interesting nor they are RIGHT… I found myself seeing all the red flags and still not being able to stop!!! STOP ME dear G.!
No 17 had me in stitches
HG you are so brilliant funny
Thank you Andria.
Are you my husband? This is my life.
No Elizabeth I am not, but in many ways I am.