Better Than The Rest
We regard ourselves as superior. Even a Victim Narcissist has a superior view of himself, he is special because of his illness and infirmity and this means that he should be treated better than everybody else. The Somatic Narcissist is better looking, physically fitter and has a tighter bottom than anyone else. The Cerebral Narcissist is cleverer, more intellectual, a brilliant advocate and has a brain the size of a planet and as for the Elite of us, well not only do we look great we are dazzling, witty, entertaining and knowledgeable, superior in every department to the likes of you. This lofty sense of ourselves is apparent all the time because we feel no need to hide our light under a bushel. Oh, we may attach some false modesty to some of our brags and boasts but it is only done to generate an ever more appreciative response from people around us. We like to remind people about our superiority repeatedly. It appears during seduction but you will naturally regard it as an attractive quality then, labelling it as confidence, a dynamic approach, someone who shows no fear and gets things done, an achiever, somebody successful and who doesn’t want to be associated with such a person. Accordingly, our superiority will be exhibited in plain sight but portrayed as good thing. It continues during devaluation as we repeatedly remind you that we are the master, you are the servant, we are in charge and you are not, we do and you are done to. Even when we hoover you we remain superior because someone who wants you back after the way you have behaved or someone who (falsely) recognises their own shortcomings must surely be superior mustn’t they? The unleashed smear campaign is another piece of our superiority. We are not smeared are we? We are impervious to it, nobody would dare do it and if they tried nobody would believe them because our innate superiority embodied in the façade that we have created. Every single step of your dance with our kind exudes our superiority. It is felt, seen, heard and witnessed, from the way we behave with you through to the way that we behave with others. It is natural to us and therefore should be expected. It is also necessary. If we are not superior to you, we cannot be in control. If we are not in control, then how can we keep you providing us with fuel? Our superiority is necessary. Our superiority is always evident. Here are twenty ways in which we demonstrate our superiority through the things we say.
- I don’t do domesticated
- I would never shop there. It is for the great unwashed.
- I wouldn’t expect you to understand what I am saying but you could at least try.
- Someone has to lead, someone has to make decisions.
- Don’t expect me to do something like that.
- Don’t be sorry, be accurate. Like me.
- I don’t have time for this.
- That isn’t something I would ever be found doing.
- People like me are above things like that.
- Yes, well it is about your level isn’t it?
- Don’t worry about it, how would you ever know that?
- These things are best left to people like me.
- It can be tough at the top you know.
- I don’t shovel shit.
- Do I look like a cleaner to you?
- I have more important things to do.
- This is minutiae and beneath me.
- Come back when you earn as much as I do.
- Show me a good loser and I will show you a loser.
- Do you know who I am?
11 thoughts on “Better Than The Rest”
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For both sides, we like to think we’re important. But we’re not. and this scares both the codependent and narcissist.
Hi Love,
Thank you, good advice. And, yes…it isn’t a true debate when there is a lack of respect in each other’s opinion. It’s an argument. It is exhausting!!
Thank you for validating and I hope you continue your healing too!! I’m still me, he didn’t take the spunk 😊❤️
Wow, a few of those comments brought back memories lol. As time passes, I seem to dilute the pervasiveness of his narcissism. I wonder why our brains do this? Self preservation, I suppose.
Memories
#2 he was a chef in one of his many careers, and such a good cook too! He was quite snobby about which stores to shop at and referred to one store as dirty. I never really thought about it as I like farmers markets which are dirty to a degree, but oh so yummy and fresh. Plus, you wash the food! Now, I still can’t go to the “dirty Kroger”. Lol
#20 yep, he would say. “I am J.S.! They would never talk to me like that!” ” I am JS, they’d never fire me!” References to self in third person. It is funny and annoying when done with such arrogance.
In the beginning, he knew not to mess too much with me abut things I knew well, I’d tear him up. I am by nature rather spunky. .I love debates. I loved this about him too. He was not a wimp in debates, he was a great opponent….but he took it too far. That kills the fun. I could concede points, he couldn’t. …. after about a year, i did not wish to engage in fun debates anymore….he wore me and my esteem down.
So, when I date again, should I by pass putting out there that i love debate and intell convo? I really do. Wondering if I should put anything on a dating profile.
One tip, for what it’s worth: Look out for self deprecating comments on superiority. He fooled me for a while using this technique. It doesn’t always mean one is a narcissist, but it doesn’t rule it out either.
On a possitive note, since the start of my healing after I left him on 7/4 I am coming back into my own again….my spunk is getter stronger again 😊
Hi Indy. I’m glad you’re healing. Don’t pass up on your passions, if debate and intellectual conversations are a must. Heck, join a debate team or Toast Masters and kill it. I never viewed my conversations with the narc as debates. He argued. He’d argue about every and anything with me. At first I would engage, thinking its a healthy debate. But as time wore on, I realized it was nonstop criticisms. It was exhausting! He flipped it back on me saying his family thought I was argumentative. So I stopped speaking. Even now, I don’t have lengthy conversations with anyone and I’m much more introspective. This blog is really the only place I’ve opened up.
I hope you don’t stop what you truly enjoy.
My how he hated it when I got a $$$uper job….
“I’ve never before dated a woman who’s smarter than me….”
That’s right, not one but ALL of us have been smarter, much smarter, dumbass…& that’s why we’ve ALL left!
Adios, loserdude! 😀
I could never understand the dichotomy of the narc behavior. On one hand is this arrogant, superior than all attitude. The word humility doesn’t exist in your vocabulary. For a codependent, this mentality is intoxicating. I need an idol to worship and who better than you. I need you to know and own your omnipotence, so I can revere you like a deity.
Yet on the other hand you have no shame or pride. You will grovel, beg, humiliate yourself for fuel. What happened to your God-like status? Why throw yourself from such a high alter into the lows with the inferiors?
My ex’s favorite line “do you know who I am?” Second favorite, “you don’t know who you’re dealing with”.
My mother “do you know who I am”s everyone from the valet who parks her car at the restaurant to the salesgirl in Bloomingdales to the doctor treating her for sciatica. They all come away thinking she’s batshit insane.
Earning less than him was his main weapon.
If you gain a measure of success, they’ll tear it down to keep you vulnerable.
Oh how my eyes roll… at these remarks… I have heard them all in regards to others and even some slapped my eyes right back into place. Again, he was my king and even though I rolled my eyes I gave him his praise on his throne. Make no mistake, I reminded him of humility ESPECIALLY when he liked to behave this way in front of others. He wasn’t exactly receptive but he’d at least save the fun remarks until we were alone.