You Say No, We Hear Yes
I make repeated mention of how the key to gaining freedom is to understand. One of the central principles to understand with our kind is the fact that our perspective is very different from yours. You gauge our responses, our actions and our words through the lens of your world view. That is understandable, but it will only lead to you becoming mired in confusion, frustration and bewilderment, trapped in the quagmire of emotion which of course is where we want you to always be. We do not want you applying cool, hard logic to prise yourself free from our grip. We want you embroiled in emotion.
Of course we prefer to make it seem that you engage in double speak. Our private paranoia causes us to twist what you say in order to use it to our advantage, but then we always do this. We always seek to profit from fabricated misunderstanding and false inferences, but the reality is we do also actually hear something completely different from what you say to us because of our existence in a different reality.
Accordingly, you need to understand that we operate in a different world view to you and once you ascertain that world view, you are unlikely to like what you see there, but you will begin to make sense of what we say and do. As part of this understanding, you should appreciate that when you say certain things to us, we hear something else. Here are ten examples, to assist your comprehension of our kind.
- The dinner you made was lovely
The dinner you made was better than anything I have ever tasted before. Your skills in the kitchen are beyond compare. You are truly talented and gifted. I am so fortunate that someone as brilliant as you made something so tasty and delicious as that meal for someone like me. I am amazed and astounded by your talent and thank my personal god every day that you are in my life.
- I don’t know what I would do without you
You are my everything. My beginning and end. I am nothing without you. I would not function without your skilful operation of me. I have now submitted to your total control of me, I am in your hands, do with me what you will.
- I love you
I don’t just love you, I love you with everything that I have, every fibre of my being and every molecule inside me because you are so magnificent that I am compelled to provide you with this astonishing and amazing love. I cannot find the words to express the extent of my love for you but it is beyond anything I have ever experienced before because you made me feel this way.
- I hate you
You are powerful, masterful and the puppet master. You are so skilled that you can make me gush with emotion at the merest flick of your wrist or the raising of your eyebrow. I cannot help but feel like this because you have me so entangled in your dark and admittedly brilliant machinations. I may say I hate you but it is really a form of admiration at the magnificence by which you operate your dark arts.
- I don’t understand you
I am stupid and weak. If I wasn’t I would understand wouldn’t I. This is a frustrated admission on my part that I pale by comparison to you. You are a colossus, a behemoth who is far better than me and I can only look on in rapt awe as you forge your way through life. I don’t understand you but I wish I could be like you.
- Please stop hurting me
Your machinations are highly effective and I cannot stop spurting with fuel for you. You may as well keep going because you have me all worked out, but I still have lots and lots of delicious fuel to spill for you.
I am trying to stand up to you but we both know that cannot happen. I am just a wretch compared to you, but I try to think otherwise, but I am doing this for you. I am saying this to invite you to exert your authority over me and to punish me for my insolence. I want you to do so because I know this is what my role is, a conduit for you to achieve what you want, so I say it so you can open the door to yes.
- I just want to be happy
I am a selfish person who as usual is putting my needs before yours which is completely wrong so you must correct me, teach me and make me learn my lesson in the way only you can do.
- I am sorry
I am utterly useless and pathetic. I ought to have known better but as usual I just decided to do what I wanted and forgot how that might impact on you. You are generous and kind and I beg your forgiveness in the knowledge that I deserve none. If you choose to make an example of me for my frequent erring and repeated apologies, then so be it. You know best.
- You are wrong
I want to destroy you. I am wounding you. I know how to weaken you and I have done this to bring you to your knees. Yes, I am a traitor, a treacherous betrayer of your magnanimous nature but I do not care. Does it hurt? Does it burn? Good. I want to see you weaken, shrivel and cease to exist.
13 thoughts on “You Say No, We Hear Yes”
What does “I don’t like you” sound like to you when it comes from a target?
Thank you for your reflections, yes, he does see it that way. But he knows I suffer anxiety from matrinarc and then of course his dessert. It is dancing performances (solo).
I don’t know what he could do, as I’m not from narc world. Depends what he observed in our history that he found fuel potential from.
It depends how it is said. If it is said in anger it is fuel Violet, if said through tears, it is fuel, if said without emotion it wounds and risks igniting our fury.
found myself recently being triangulated and… despite Your wise words and all the knowledge I could not switch off my f×÷=% emotions :(((( I was sat… tears streaming from frustration ..knowing that’s exactly what I was NOT supposed to do…but I couldn’t….I find my progress is in very slow motion… it is there… I can control myself in 90% of the situations …in these times I put on my “narcissistic deciphering glasses” on and am able to react… providing fuel without feeling pain anxiety etc… but there are moments where I can’t. .. why dear G.??
It is because the infection remains embedded within you and you have not yet crossed the emotional sea. Thus your emotions remain at large, obvious and susceptible to manipulation.
Had to. Obligatory.
What about, “I don’t like you”?
and can you elaborate on private paranoia?
Mine is a teacher of an art he knows I can’t live without, so he thinks I can’t live without him. I never depended on him because I was born very independent however I enjoyed being inspired by him.
I praised him a lot because I thought he lacked self love but now I regret it majorly.
I want to be able to show my work and not have to worry about him doing anything there.
Who is saying “I don’t like you”, you or us? I have made a note to write an article on private paranoia. That is interesting that you explain,Violet, how he is a teacher of an art he knows you cannot live without so he thinks you cannot live without him. That embodies how we regard everything as extensions of ourselves.In terms of showing work and worrying about him doing anything there, could you be more specific about what you are showing, where and how he has access potentially to you showing your work. For instance, if you are an artist, are you concerned that he will appear at one of your exhibitions when you are there?
I do have a slight challenge to the 1st. Sentence of this post HG….. (by the way… hello… how are you??! lol)
“I make repeated mention of how the key to gaining freedom is to understand”.
Now my challenge to this statement is that perhaps freedom is never truly attainable as we can never truly understand you (narcissists/sociopaths/psychopaths/etc).
You mind is quite literally wired differently to mine. Our minds may as well speak different languages.
lets take love for example….. I’m talking the kind of love where you want to give all you are to somebody else…. lets think say… movies love!!….
I cannot turn love off because my brain is wired as such that I am but an empathic person who feels love. The same holds true for you in reverse. You could not truly switch love on as it is not an emotion that is within your scope of being. Love is very literally not within your repertoire.
Yes… we can all “Fake it until we make it” if you wish to waste the energy doing so?! However, the fact remains that I can never truly understand you.
another way to look at it….. Equate it to a paedophile. Tell me this…. Can you understand truly why paedophiles touch children?? Why its children in particular that seems to be the object of their perverse, disgusting desire??
I would hedge my bets on the fact that you can’t (unless you are one and I get the feeling somehow that you are not!! lmfao!!!). Therefore, given that you are not a paedophile, given that they are not feelings or desires or wishes that you experience….. Can you truly understand a paedophile???
Don’t get me wrong here HG…. I am not discrediting what you are doing here by any means whatsoever!! You have likely helped more people than I could imagine with sharing the things that you do. I of course, will continue to read an learn where and when I can.
But….. True understanding?????????
I don’t believe it attainable. I cant feel things like you do… NONE OF US CAN!!! Without being able to truly step into the mind of another and feel the way another does….. Well bring on the day that can happen because I lovely long line of people who I would just love to feel even an hour of the pain I feel.
I am sure others can relate to that too.
Cheers HG…… take it easy
Great point, and, no one can truly know any other human being in general either.
With this said, we can empathize to the level that is possible (we all empathize to lesser levels (i.e. narcissists and sociopaths) or greater degrees(“empaths”) based on our own human experiences in relation to others. We can understand general motive to a degree because he is sharing some of it with us, and thus we can feel freedom from feeling less guilt or sympathy ridden when/if we escape or are discarded.
This is how I interpret it. I completely agree, we never know anyone totally. It is all interpretation and perspective. The best we can know/understand another human is to empathize and intellectually hypothesize others motives.
Nice point, CJ7!
Cheers Indy…. im glad you agree that its a very valid fair point…. thanks for that!!!
As i said… not taking away from what HG is doing, because im not!
But i do believe what ive written…. both in the sense if others minds and my own too… others cant really know me…. Because….. im human and there a secrets i have for example that i will take my grave when I die.however, those secrets are part of shaping who i am right now!!!
How can you Truly know me without know that secret, for example?? You cant!!!
So HG…. have you got annnnnnny thoughts on the original question??? Lmfao
Im looking forward to a response from you!! Your welcome to emaiĺ mr your answers so it noy do prihkvst
Sorry there…wrong buttons!!! Lol…. lmfao.
So yes HG…. your welcome to email me privately with your thoughts on the subject if its more personal!!!
Makes me sick to read their part of story 🙁
Yes, this all makes perfect sense to me. I understand how my words translate in your language. This goes back to your sense of superiority. I can play my part to perfection and be subservient to you. So my question is why do you not always maintain your grandiosity? You will do and say anything for fuel. How does that translate in your language?