Darkness

 

darkness

Do you feel the darkness as it coils about you? Do you see those midnight black tendrils as they slither towards you? Do you recognise that encroaching cloak of nothingness as it begins to wrap around you? Do you see how the inky murk blots out parts of your life as your friends become obscured by the gathering darkness? Have you any idea what is waiting for you in the shade as the pools of despair begin to form at your feet? Can you feel the icy embrace as the levels of gloom start to rise, swallowing you up bit by bit? Are you aware of the advancing chasm as it swallows up your family, wrenching them away from you consigning them to oblivion? The engulfing darkness causes them to vanish and even their desperate cries and shouts become muffled and then extinguished. Do you remember what held your interest before this fog arrived? Can you recall those hobbies and past times that entertained you and gave you a sense of who you were as you enjoyed engaging in them and with other people? Can you or is the fog too thick so that you doubt if you ever did undertake them at all? Have you noticed how the air has become thicker and cloyed with poison or do you breathe it in oblivious to the toxicity that comes with it? Are you aware how the twilight has percolated into your ears so that everything you hear has become twisted and distorted? Do you recognise what is patently before you or do the shadowy shapes and figures make little sense when they once did? Have you realised that your words have become dust in your mouth as the fur of the darkness fills your mouth and slides down your throat, strangling the sounds you try to make? Do you feel the icy embrace of this impenetrable wall of darkness which advances to you and over you? Do you recognise this glacier of despair as it slides over you, subsuming you and sucking you deep inside, preserving you in a dark, icy tomb? Do you even see your reflection in the mirror anymore or has that become masked in darkness too, the glass dulled so that everything becomes obscured and shows something else entirely? Do you see those shades which come and torment you, their sinewy fingers pulling at you as they strip you piece by piece of what you are? Do you observe these wraiths as they devour you, sucking what you are into their dark maws? How does it feel as this corrupting night brings permanent darkness to your world? Do you see how nothing grows anymore when touched by the gloomy taint? Do you smell that foul stench which accompanies this unending blanket of murk? The acrid fumes which waft into your nostrils and eradicate anything sweet and pleasant. Do you notice how your tongue lies flat and useless in your mouth, little more than a cold slab? Do you even acknowledge how everything tastes like ash? Do you feel the leaden weight of this darkness pulling at you, slowing you and seeking to engulf you? Do you recognise how it prevents you from breaking free, this glue-like morass which has fastened on to you and will not yield? Do you notice the fatigue that now wraps around you, leeching at your energy and vitality? Do you hear anything other than the whispers of malevolent control that rattle about your beleaguered brain? Do you know who you are or has this vast amorphous darkness eradicated your sense of being? Do you remember what it was to feel uplifted, joyous and happy or have you become accustomed to the flat, perilous embrace of this total darkness? Do you even feel anything anymore other or has the cosseting black cloud anaesthetised you, numbing and freezing? Do you feel the darkness? No, you never do. You never see the darkness until you have seen the light.

 

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14 thoughts on “Darkness”

  1. I have always been able to see the darkness, I am aware of the shadows that lurk, once in awhile I am granted a peak at the bright light orbs that dance about, but to be a soldier, one must know the enemy, and one must walk among them with a sword and shield, battling and protecting all that is light and good, some are born to go to war, and some are born to sing to the world……some of us are messengers, some are healers, and some of us are guardians….

    my heart has now seen
    my eyes know
    the timing
    is inevitable
    a goodbye is on the horizon
    I keep my words silent
    continue as is
    watching you morph
    plot and contort and twist
    allowing you your superiority
    I, your shrinking violet
    there is no fight
    in me
    for what is already dead
    I cannot lie

    the time though
    is just not yet
    and careful I must tread
    as I wait it out
    this is your show
    you must have control
    I take a back seat now
    your boredom grows
    hope for smooth transition
    prepared for sudden upheaval
    prayers for strength
    courage and health
    a warrior, at times
    embodies stealth
    knows when to embrace
    defeat
    with the knowledge
    victory can’t always be
    seen
    a true warrior
    conquers
    her own mind
    and protects the innocent

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    1. CC, I love this “A true warrior conquers her own mind”. Very similar to Buddhist saying:
      Greater in battle than the man who would conquer a thousand-thousand men, is he who would conquer just one — himself.
      ❤️️❤️️❤️️❤️️

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    1. Thank you SII. Words are my sanctuary, my therapy, the lantern I hold when I walk through dark paths. I like to hope my words touch others and give hope, inspiration, and courage.

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  2. Your last line said it all.
    I didn’t know I was anywhere close to the darkness.
    But as I now walk through my days, I experience the simple things that I haven’t noticed in a few years.
    The air feels fresher, the sky looks brighter, and I notice the changing of the leaves. It’s nice to go for a walk without my cell phone going off every second. I forgot what it was like to cook. I forgot how to make plans with anyone else. I forgot how to relax.
    Many days I would wake not recognizing myself in the mirror. I had bags under my eyes and I was exhausted. I did make remarks that she was killing me. I confused the pain for pleasure. She put my body and mind through the ringer.

    The fog was very heavy. Some days it still feels like I’ve come out of a coma and everything is new. It’s a deep sensory experience for me.
    It’s one day at a time trying to find my old self.

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  3. In the beginning, after recently reconnecting on Facebook (his hunting grounds) after 20 years, we would often share music that we liked.
    Looking back… I feel this was more than just a song he liked. He often made reference to trying to out run the darkness or message me very early in the morning that his demons were at him again.
    Soon after, he started calling me his angel. Saying that I brought light to his life, keeping the darkness away.
    I thought he was just being dramatic since he was always very descriptive in his writing.

    Demons
    Imagine Dragons

    When the days are cold
    And the cards all fold
    And the saints we see
    Are all made of gold

    When your dreams all fail
    And the ones we hail
    Are the worst of all
    And the blood’s run stale

    I want to hide the truth
    I want to shelter you
    But with the beast inside
    There’s nowhere we can hide

    No matter what we breed
    We still are made of greed
    This is my kingdom come
    This is my kingdom come

    When you feel my heat
    Look into my eyes
    It’s where my demons hide
    It’s where my demons hide
    Don’t get too close
    It’s dark inside
    It’s where my demons hide
    It’s where my demons hide

    At the curtain’s call
    It’s the last of all
    When the lights fade out
    All the sinners crawl
    So they dug your grave
    And the masquerade
    Will come calling out
    At the mess you made

    Don’t want to let you down
    But I am hell bound
    Though this is all for you
    Don’t want to hide the truth
    No matter what we breed
    We still are made of greed
    This is my kingdom come
    This is my kingdom come

    When you feel my heat
    Look into my eyes
    It’s where my demons hide
    It’s where my demons hide
    Don’t get too close
    It’s dark inside
    It’s where my demons hide
    It’s where my demons hide

    They say it’s what you make
    I say it’s up to fate
    It’s woven in my soul
    I need to let you go
    Your eyes, they shine so bright
    I want to save that light
    I can’t escape this now
    Unless you show me how

    When you feel my heat
    Look into my eyes
    It’s where my demons hide
    It’s where my demons hide
    Don’t get too close
    It’s dark inside
    It’s where my demons hide
    It’s where my demons hide

    Of course, I hear it every day at work now.

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  4. This is how many of us in your former colonies began to feel around 11:00 pm Eastern Standard Time. 🙁
    Would you have voted for a member of your club, HG? Or is voting beneath you?

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