The Ten Narcissistic Commandments
1. I am right. You are wrong.
Everything I say and do is founded in the logic of my world and it follows that is has to be right. It equally follows therefore that whatever you say and do is wrong. I cannot ever allow you to be seen to be right because that means I am ceding control to somebody whom I regard as inferior. This undermines my sense of superiority. Maintaining this state of me being right and you being wrong requires various manipulative techniques including blame-shifting, projection, denial and deflection. Of course I am relying on your need to be understood and your desire to change me that you will always approach this stance of mine head on. My position will seem illogical to you and you will react to it and keep doing so.
2. There is no you and me. There is only me.
You are purely an extension of myself. I want to subsume everything about you into me. This is part of the reason why I seduce you with such totality. I am unable to discern where you begin and where I end. I regard you as an appliance that is to be plugged into me and is there to do my bidding, providing me with fuel, looking after me and responding to everything that I command. I forbid you to act independently of me, have interests beyond me and to interact with others. I am what is important. You must focus on me and only me. Your needs become secondary to my needs.
3. Do as I say, not as I do.
Do not question me. Who are you to question someone as brilliant as me? Know your place. Submit to me and carry out my whims. Accede to my commands. I am entitled to do as I please and therefore any contradiction in my behaviour is a mistaken belief on your part. You may regard what I say and do as hypocrisy but you are wrong once again. This is pragmatism on my part and that is why I succeed whilst you fail.
4. One is never enough
Such is my might that one of you is not enough to sustain me. It is my right to gain fuel from all those that I interact with. This means I will be unfaithful but my infidelity is purely a means to an end. By all means react to my affairs and indiscretions, for it is all excellent fuel for me, but you will not stop me from taking another. Expect to be triangulated with other people and objects, for my appetite is so vast I must have many supply lines of fuel and this means you will become a cog inside a vast machine, as wheels turn within wheels.
5. Your pain is my gain
I cannot exist without drawing negative fuel from you at some point. It is retribution for your failings. There is no hope for an alternative. Your devaluation will happen as it has with many before you and those who are yet to come. It is a process and your agony, hurt and distress is purely part of the necessary equation to sustain me. It is drawn from you through many machinations, some you may see and others you will not.
6. You are worthless yet I will never leave you alone
You are inferior to me and that inferiority infuriates me since I am reminded that I must depend on someone weak and pathetic. This in turn generates hatred and despising of this chained situation I find myself in. I will cast you to one side once you have served your purpose and my disgust for you can no longer be tolerated. This is not the end however because I will always return to exhibit my power to draw you back once again and suck further fuel from you.
7. I am everywhere. I am everything
I am omnipotent and omniscient. I have my spies and errand boys all around as they feed me information about you which I can then use against you and to further my agendas. I have my Lieutenants carrying out my orders without question. I instil myself in every aspect of your life, making you see me, hear me and smell me, even after I am no longer physically near you. I imbue my essence into so much that my toxic memory pervades you for years after you have been cast aside, allowing me to return triumphant, as if nothing ever happened, to draw you into my false world once more.
8. The games are always being played.
The quest for fuel is unending. To achieve this I must engage in repeated and sustained manipulations and machinations. You and others are but pawns on my giant chessboard as I move you hither and thither in order to achieve my aims. I plot, plan and scheme before I organise, arrange and orchestrate. Each and every day I must engage in these nefarious games in order to secure my existence and as my chosen primary appliance you will be caught in this malicious web, right in the centre. My game-playing means nothing is as it seems, that truth is a stranger to me and lies flow from my mouth as easily as expelled breath.
9. I will never change
I will issue false promises of changing, empty protestations that I shall seek help and perfidious declarations of knowing I need to alter my behaviour but I never shall. I deny what I am, although for the most part I know full well what I am. I see no reason to change. Why should I when this how I have been created? Why should I when this is all I know? Why should I when it is all your fault anyway?
10. Fuel is the rule.
Fuel is at the centre of everything that I do. My actions and decisions are based on acquiring the precious resource. My interaction with strangers, minions, acquaintances and friends is all hinged on the gathering of fuel. The way in which I deal with colleagues and family is always based on the greatest potential for the collection of fuel. My thoughts are invaded with the need to gain fuel, my actions are dictated by the requirement to garner fuel. Fuel is the reason you were chosen. Fuel is the reason you were seduced, debased and discarded. Fuel is why I came back. Again and again.
Fuel is everything.
24 thoughts on “The Ten Narcissistic Commandments”
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Can being aware of these tactics actually prevent someone from winding up with a narcissists or sociopath next time?
Hello S. Yes indeed. If you know what we are, how we operate and how we seduce you stand a far greater chance of evading us or putting us off. You will always attract our kind because of your empathic traits (which you cannot switch off) but you can reduce their visibility. It is about knowing your foe and spotting him as he approaches so you can get away, evade and counter. Red Flag, Black Flag, Manipulated and Devil’s Toolkit all assist in that regard.
Nobody?
Hello HG, you got this down. It is so draining without fuel. The feeling is unbearable. So, what type of Thanksgiving dinner are you having and does it mean that you have things to be thankful for?
Thanksgiving is not celebrated in this country. I shall this weekend be going out for dinner and attending a show whilst getting my fill of football. I am thankful I am me. What do you plan to do Leilani?
Your plans sound joyous. As for me, I am uncertain which invite I will be attending as one of them is a full on throttle with ALL 100+ Family members and the other invite is with colleagues at Staples Center though I get to keep Sunday for myself.
I would go for the 100+ family members – so much fuel.
Either you have a huge extended family or your parents needed to take up hobbies.
Haha, I meant to add extended family included and that is just some..in the vicinity. I do have 4 siblings so theyou did get busy. There are hundreds more extended family. I am glad you stated for me to go. I can already see the different “Teams” gathering together. Team Empaths, Team codependent and Team Narcissist. I will hear many variables in their perception while in conversation with each other as well as deep thoughts and emotions in their eyes. The fuel it brings. Also, when the head N Father sits at the table, here we go with his gleaming, and golden intellectual thoughts coming out of his mouth about how proud he is of his Golden Child and no one can compare ever as he goes down the siblings to cause rivalry. He will have his fair share of audience. Ok HG, you talked me into it. I am going to our Family function. I take you are busy Sunday?
I’m coming to your family function, it will be a fuel fest!
Yes.. you are cordially invited. You will be devoured and lavished by the other teams. I shall watch.
Nobody devours The Tudor!
Not even in your own way?
Only pop will eat itself.
Pop Will Eat Itself used to be one of my favourite bands.
Formed the year I was born. My, that WAS a good year.
Ich bin ein Auslander.
I’ll drink to that.
So many excellent English bands. Your homeland is the last bastion of truly excellent music.
Among other things.
You are indeed correct.
<3
The abuse I’ve experienced today is beyond imagination…. I need to rest….
<3 <3 <3
Get out, get out, run Jane run. Are you a person, or a lamb for the slaughter. If your kind didn’t exist, we would have no option but to change. We would have to look deeper. We don’t have to, you are too easy. We devour you because we need your energy, because we can, because it’s fun to watch you, because your kind put yourself on a plate for us! Not fun for you? That makes us enjoy you all the the more. Nice words don’t work. Do you deserve anything good, ever in your life? Your narcissist doesn’t think so, just feed him. Continue until you’re old and gray and empty and dead (if he even keeps you that long, which is doubtful). Life is short. It only comes once. The answers are within yourself, waiting to be found.
Following “revenge” being executed as per your outline after a Hoover attempt, will he try to come back? Either Hoover or seeking revenge? I executed well, he has seemingly completely disappeared from like people & places & I won’t look for him, NCNP. This has not been discussed yet. I want him gone forever.
There’s always a risk but if you’ve wounded him through revenge the Hoover bar has been raised very,very high.
I fear that a real narcissist (maybe greater) could be very dangerous if someone wounded him or his perfect world.