In our engagement with our appliances and especially with our primary sources, we are repeatedly seeking to extract fuel. We have been designed to draw those fuel providers into our grasp, from the colleagues that we work with, the relevant family members and friends so that rather than surround ourselves with appliances of limited function we ensure that all those who are attached to us are likely to provide us with fuel. As I have explained before, we like to preserve our energy and operate in an efficient and effective fashion. As part of that approach we like to ascertain if we can scent fuel in our interactions with you, in the same way that a shark smells blood in the ocean and knows that a bigger prize awaits. There are certain responses that you provide that immediately tell us that there is more fuel ready to be extracted. Just as how a tiny nick on your leg may cause droplets of blood to fall and be smelt by the predatory shark, there are certain things that you will say to us that tells us that we should dive straight in and seize the advantage. There are comments that you will make which indicates to us that you are holding a reservoir of fuel just under the surface and all we need to do is slice you open and gorge on that waiting fuel. Your response tells us that your emotion is there, just a few moments away from being extracted, seized and gathered, so that rather than attend to something else we are best served by focusing our efforts on you.
It is akin to staring at a vast body of water behind a glass partition. We want that body of water to come gushing forward, engulfing us and cascading over us. We do not wish to dedicate the time to hammering away at this toughened glass in the hope of eventually making it crack. We do not want to expend our energy chiselling and drilling but instead we want to find the weak spot. We want to identify that flaw, that weakness, that opening, which means that with the careful application of pressure, the edifice will shatter and the water will come surging over us in an instant. You are no different. You are filled with fuel. That is why we chose you. You might be a co-dependent super tanker of fuel that requires the hull to be holed, you may be a super empathic fuel well which just needs to be drilled or an empathic fuel pump where one pinprick in the hose will allow the fuel to spurt out. You are a walking fuel depot and at times we can do just one thing, say one thing and the fuel will come fountaining from you, shooting out of you, gushing from you, ready for us to suck it all up, gorging on your delicious and potent fuel and drinking deep of your vast resources.
It is you that gives us the indication that you are ready to flow with fuel, that the dam can easily be breached and once you provide that indication to us, it only takes a small amount of pressure, a modicum of application and the most straightforward of manipulations to cause you to burst and we gain so much fuel. You are teetering on the brink of providing the fuel, it is almost spilling over there is so much of it and you tell us that it is there, often in just one sentence and then we apply the pressure and the geyser erupts.
These indications are applicable to both positive fuel and negative fuel. The comments in themselves will provide some slight amount of fuel but they are indicators, gateways telling us that in that moment there is a whole host of additional fuel ready to be tapped and it is easy to do so. This is why when you provide us with the positive indicators we dive in and invite you to expand on the point that you have made, the comments that you have shared because we know that there is more behind what you have said and we want it. It becomes even more evident when with the negative indicators. These really are a green light for us to satiate our fuel lust in the way that a pugilist would satisfy his bloodlust. You have waved the key in front of us through your comment and we will focus on that comment and what it signifies in order to get at the fuel that is hoarded behind it.
Should you say them to us you should be aware that you have just telegraphed that there is fuel to be gained and whatever we might have been doing will be forgotten as we turn and fix our eyes on you. Like the cruising shark, the scent of blood has been detected and easy and satisfying prey is well within reach. Our cold jaws will be clenched around you as we puncture you and begin to slurp on the surfeit of fuel. What then are these indicators, what should you be aware of what is it that you say which tells us that there is fuel ready and waiting to be extracted, exploited and consumed?
The Positive Indicators
- I love you
- How did you manage to do that?
- There is nobody like you.
- Where did you get that shirt from?
- That was amazing.
- That is an outstanding result.
- I could listen to you talk for hours.
- I could kiss you forever.
- I would die for you.
- I cannot imagine being anywhere else right now other than with you.
- I have finally found what I have been searching for.
- If I died now, it would not matter.
- I don’t know what I would do without you.
- I would do anything for you.
- I belong to you.
The Negative Indicators
- Where have you been?
- I hate you right now.
- Don’t leave me.
- Why must you hurt me like this?
- Who is she?
- I just need to feel loved.
- I miss you still.
- Is that it?
- What about me?
- You are being unfair.
- Please listen to me.
- Don’t shout at me.
- I don’t understand.
- Please talk to me.
- Please stop.
- I need to sleep.
- Please be reasonable.
- It is my birthday.
- Please, for my sake, just do it.
- You are scaring me now.
Let the feeding frenzy commence.
33 thoughts on “Scenting Blood”
Dear HG, this post is fantastic, I love it as all your writings. I have a question: when you are at an event, party, bar, etc., what do you look out for then, how do you recognize an empath? Body language? Mimic? Language? Do you test the responses? 🙂
Hello thank you. See Sitting Target for what we look for.
When I asked the ex-MN what made him think I was interested in him, he told me, “you touched my arm”. So, all it took was the touch of my hand on his arm when he made me laugh. I keep my hands to myself now – LESSON LEARNED!
I was thinking the exact same thing Love when I wrote that.
I think the radar would be going off constantly and I would never leave my house but you might find Mr. Right that way.
I know he is out there for you Love❤️❤️❤️
YES, a shark detector app!!!!!! I need some stainless steel mesh skirts, dresses, jeans, slacks and tops…and bras and panties. And a helmet.
Gosh, SW and Love, I am not sure I believe in Mr. (or Ms.) Right any more. Is that healthy or just plain depressing…I lost my romantic side. I still have my fun side, but my view of life has changed so much. I had thought I found the one last time. I was engaged to my recent ex. I had waited 10 years to commit to anyone and then he came along. Perhaps I need to consider Golden Retrievers and not Jack Terriers. Or, perhaps I should be single…or…crap. I think my problem is I want to date again. And I am not ready. Just want some fun and kisses…maybe some FUN, if you know what I mean. And, I am not tipping that toe in the wading pool as of yet.
Now now, sharks can get through the cage from time to time. However, you got to get back in the water. Throw yourself in. If not we can probably arrange for a volunteer Shark, er Narc to shove you in. I completely agree that Mr. or Mrs. Right is out there. The problem is the Narc/Empath or Narc on Narc action is so overwhelming with Rollercoaster emotions that when you get off the ride, you want that feeling again but if you keep riding it over and over you will eventually be sick. If you are stubborn enough you may challenge each other to a ride off. I am staying on this ride with you until I win. You can win only by getting off the ride. The Narc owns the Rollercoaster and it’s like that movie Final Destination 3. If the Narc doesn’t get you on the ride he will get you in a tanning bed to fry…lol
I digress. My point is that you will never have perfect. You know this. Start dating again. You are able to spot them now. Just be prepared for the switch to a porch swing instead of a Rollercoaster.
Thank you for the encouragement. Swings before Flings 😆
OK, you made me Crack up! I thought having a fling could lead to becoming swingers in a marriage. No wonder I took so long to get married. 😃
Hope you have a great weekend, if you celebrate Christmas, have a merry one!!! Cheers!!
You just just a bikini and tequila Indy!!! Lol
I think it is absolutely normal for you to think that way. I do believe that the way that we look at the world has changed. For me I will never trust the way I did but I think that’s a good thing. I notice something everyday about interacting with strangers. I have realized how I made it so easy for people to take advantage of me. It happens as soon as I open my mouth. Lol…
I have a golden retriever and she is on the hyper side. She causes more strangers to come up to me and start a conversation. That might help you or not. Lol…
I liked what ABB said about dating. If you think you might be ready then just start slow. You will recognize the “bad” ones out there. You will outsmart them this time. Someone is out there for you Indy. You can dip in just one toe at a time.
Just this month I started to feel some of the PTSD symptoms going away. It has taken seven months for this to happen. The triggers have lessened. I have to keep pushing myself forward but I’m grateful dating isn’t something I have to do. That’s a big step. You will know when it’s time.
Sending you lots of love ❤️🍎❤️
Thank you Snow. I really appreciate the encouragement from you and ABB. Yeah, slow is what I’d tell others too. I guess I’m not so afraid of meeting sharks and will likely have future clients and parents that are sharks. My fear is more that I know what I am attracted to and will likely have to put the brakes on when I won’t want to lol!!! That charm kills me every time. But I have tools! Slow yes. I like those brainy smart asses…sooo…lots of weeding….hahaha!!! I can have a brainy smart ass, right? 🍭🍬
Hiding what is this necessary thing to do?
It’s knowing or having a sense of just when to start making “appearances” that is interesting. And frustrating only because I have done everything including disappearing. Tenacious.
Him calling now and changing his greeting and me hanging up, how long will this go on? It started with my personal phone for work, to which is easy I can let that go to voice mail and return calls that need my attention, my actual phone at work I have to answer. Wild guess he is working me up to actually show up. Opinion HG?
He will not get the reaction he might be expecting or he will due to he knows just how stubborn I am. I seriously feel damn if I do and damn if I don’t and either way is just encouraging.
There are two kinds of pain. The sort of pain that makes you strong. Or useless pain. The sort of pain that’s only suffering. I have no patience for useless things. Moments like this require someone who will act. To do the unpleasant thing. The necessary thing…
What your u just wrote reminded me that There is a saying in DBT, “pain is inevitable, a part of life, suffering is optional”.
Pain + no acceptance of reality = unbearable suffering while
pain + acceptance of reality = tolerable pain.
I like that, Indy. Thank you!
See, this is why I’m scared of swimming in the ocean 🌊. I’m making sand castles for a few months more at minimum. Oh unless….Land Shark!!!!! 😨
Sand castles are magical … So are mermaids.
I will take you in the ocean with me Indy!
That’s one place that I’m not afraid of and my daughter has her shark tagging app so she can locate all the intruders.
I love sand castles and mermaids and some rum punch.
I do love the ocean, but going deep scares me, truly. And, I was also being figurative in that I am scared about dating and going back into the pool of sharks. Yes, lets go and drink some yummy pretty drinks 🙂 I have never been south of Florida to the islands. Lets go!!! 🙂
Then off to Florida we go Indy!
My daughter came home from college with three fish tanks in tow. I need some cocktails, sun, and some great company.
Wooop, Wooop!!!! I am down for some Tequila and salt!!
And, not least of all, your lovely company!
There is a shark detector app? Lol they should microchip narcs and create an app for them too.
If one really wanted to wound the narc, one could probably use these lists against him… turning the meaning around and presenting the statement in an unemotional manner such as ‘there is nothing special about you’, ‘I am not impressed by that result’, ‘what you have to say is insignificant’ -or- ‘it does not interest me where you have been’, ‘I have not missed you at all’… it would sound like something the narc parent would have said, and in a flash, he would be dragged back into his childhood, feeling small and helpless. It is the same strategy which the narc uses to force her into submission! Most empaths just don’t have the ruthlessness to apply that.
I am also wondering if a negative response is what he ultimately wants to hear from his partner! It is definitely of higher value in terms of fuel, and I suspect this is not just down to him wanting to extract emotions which empaths avoid. A negative response is the only authentic response he has received from the narc parent. Perhaps he thinks that a positive reaction from his partner is just a lie, deceit meant to mock and weaken him in an attempt to bring him down! So, he pushes her relentlessly towards breaking point to finally see spitefulness, similar to what he had to endure during his childhood. It feels familiar to him. It also proves to him that he has been right about her all along, and she is just as disgusting as his mother. A self-fulfilling prophecy. What do you think, HG?
Punch drunk I stumble
Body language and familiarity too. When youve been with someone for years they get to know your reactions so well and can sense it in the air when somethings not right. Of course most of the time they deliberately triggered it anyways so they know if itll get to you or not then wait for the telltale signs and move in for the kill. Ive had this happen so many times and confronted it not knowing i was playing into the feeding frenzy. Its so hard as a sensitive person not to react. Were just not wired that way, much like a narc cant feel certain emotions. The best way is grey rock if you can taking the fuel away. Ive done greyrock and it does work. Its not easy tho.
Don’t forget soulmate.
Awww, “a co-dependent super tanker of fuel that requires the hull to be holed”… You say the sweetest things Mr. Tudor. I believe this was where our romance began. 😍
That codependent line got me too. Lol… Perfect description of me.
Those lists are excellent HG. I said so many of those.
I will store these in my memory bank for future reference.
tHANK YOU sw