New Year Purge

The narcissist may be physically gone but his or her influence remains and it hurts. Whether you have escaped the narcissist or you have been cruelly discarded, the period thereafter is difficult, worrying and painful. Why can’t you move on? Why do you keep thinking about them? How can we exert such a hold over you for months afterwards? Why can’t you get him or her out of your mind? Why do you see them everywhere you look? Why does it feel like he or she is still buried deep in your heart? Most importantly of all, what can you do to get rid of this feeling? This is the answer. Through the narcissist’s perspective you will understand why you have been infected, why it is so effective and how you can successfully exorcise the narcissist from your heart and soul.

US https://www.amazon.com/Exorcism-Purging-Narcissist-Heart-Soul/dp/1539306577

UK  https://www.amazon.co.uk/Exorcism-Purging-Narcissist-Heart-Soul/dp/1539306577

Electronic version also available

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46 thoughts on “New Year Purge”

  1. Excellent book HG!
    I thought of this book last night as I was swept in the emotional sea of last years memories.
    I hate to admit it but I was crying because I still miss her and deep down I still love her.
    Eight months and I’m still crying.
    I hate it!
    Everything you say in your book is valuable.
    I would be drowning if I hadn’t come across this one.
    Thanks for all your wise words .

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    1. Truth, SW. M. Tudor and his books have been healing for me, as well. I feel tempted to order each, and every one, available. It has been my therapy. The last book I have read is CHAINED, and it has helped me more than any therapist ever has…

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      1. Yes, his books have helped me more than my therapist too.
        His books are part of my therapy sessions now.
        My therapist has embraced his wisdom.
        Happy new year!

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      2. My therapist knows NPD very well, having been a victim herself. She does not think it is healthy for me to be here as she thinks it brings out my darkside.
        I have never discussed this with my friends, one being a pshchistrist and the other a pshycoligist/attorney. They have through the years, pointed them out to me. I never fully understood what they meant until this past year. I was called a narc by one of them at one point. Although we know I am not or am I?

        HG is my little secret as of late. It is a shame ​I pay for a professional and then disregard her advice.

        Oh but you are addicting. You are my dirty little secret HG. ​

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      3. Brian, I am not sure why you need to know the state she is in, but she is licensed in two states. Do you need one with first hand experience? Fact, he still hoovers after many years.

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      4. Yes, The textbook definition of narcissism is pretty useless.
        In my opinion therapists can’t hope to know what’s going on unless they have first hand experience.
        If she knows someone in Kentucky or Indiana then would she pass on the details?

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      5. Brian
        I also suggest you look up bio’s of therapists, if possible, on the internet and interview them. Look for ones who specialize in this disorder. You have to find one that fits you. Also why in two states? Do you reside in both?
        You also stand the chance that they would not admit to being ensnared.

        Keep reading HG’s books and perhaps consult with him. The problem is his fees will not be covered by American insurance. But if you can afford it, it might be well worth it. I hear it is helpful. Perhaps start with the private email consult.
        ( my therapist would be very upset with me knowing that I enlisted a Narc and I am doing his bidding but as long as you realize what he is and not get possessed or ensnared by him, you will be fine. He can help you. )

        Sorry HG, I have to call it like I know it is, you cheeky mother fucking Demon. But you know you are my favorite Demon.

        My gal is licensed on the east and west coast. I established the connection in one of the states, with family /friends address while I was visiting and continue through phone, Skype and text and email.
        I love my gal!

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      6. Hi Ah OH!
        Happy New Year!!!
        Do you feel that you have learned more about yourself from being on this blog?
        What part of your dark side does she think comes out?

        I do love your comments. They make me think and some crack me up. 😂
        Thanks for reaching out to me. I will always be grateful for all the readers that have interacted with me.

        For me, this blog has given me answers, support, the cold hard truth, different perspectives, entertainment, a distraction from my nightmare and heartache, and validation that I’m not crazy.
        I’m thankful that my therapist stood up for me and supported me on this blog.

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      7. Snow White A very healthful and prosperous new year to you!

        I have denied so many personalities traits in myself for many years. I was always upset thinking I was being criticized when someone pointed out a not so perfect habit or behavior. Truth is I was a total fucking cunt. I was mean, I was demanding, I was cold, I was unforgiving. I was very much on the Narc scale and when I do look back on myself, I have hurt many people. But I did not think about it or plan it. I was and am a survivor. I was hurt badly in my life and this is what we do.

        I told her I like the cold me. She begged me to reconsider this. She said I have such light in me and kindness and love and not to let this go. She knows my dark side. Very much so. She has talked me off the ledge more then once with me wanting to destroy. She knows I can be very dangerous and she knows too I can be powerful. If I can’t then I will seek the ones who weld the power who can do my bidding.
        This might be why I stay to myself most times now. This is why I have time for this blog. I have isolated myself. I am loved by many and they seek me out. But I only can give so much and then the nasty comes out.
        I have accepted myself now.

        The blog and HG. I have learned about myself then the stupid weak narc I was with. SMH, I must have been at a low moment (and very horny). But then again, I did pick one that was across the country, not so easy to be with on a regular basis. LOL

        The attention HG gives me and the others on here is comforting. We have the Great Oz’s attention. He helped me with the transition of myself discovery. And due to the fact he has a great sounding voice and we really can only fantasize what he looks like, he became my perfect man. To get me over the hump of whatever obstacle I put in front of myself. He does piss me off often if he gives to much attention to others. I can admit this. But I do know what this is, my narcic ego. The little bitch that she is!

        I also like it very much when I interact with the others on here and at times, I have wanted to slap all of you. Damn bitches! But with a tender hand. All out of affection…..LOL You do know I think very highly of myself and I try not to think I am better then anyone else. I work on this everyday. I really do. I know I am not better, but try telling the bitch ego I have. I do consider myself of a very high caliber.

        The first time I ever heard the word Narcissist was when I was 18 years old. A woman told me that I was one and to seek help. I went and they said I was normal. But I also was someone else sitting there as I talked to the then mental health expert of 1977. Also my shrink find called me one, but I was hoping it was in jest.

        I am not a Narc. But I want to play with fire.

        Total confession Biatches!

        I can play today on here but I pick a friend up tonight coming in from Sweden, so I will be missing in action and trying to break the habit. Changing it up for 2017. Going to look for the one I can bite and he will not mind.

        I can feel my teeth now biting the wrist. I love the firm feel of the bone under the flesh. ( honestly, my heart just raced thinking about this.)

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      8. Hello Ah Oh,
        I hope you are out having fun with your friend.
        Thanks you for sharing all of that. I commend anyone who tries to be a better person. You have come a long way!!!!
        I thought I knew who I was but I’m finding out I didn’t know much of anything. Lol
        Enjoy finding something juicy to bite.
        Watch out for the poisonous apples🍎🍎🍎

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      9. No I am not. I am just a very spoiled woman and I like the attention I get. I am narcissistic in many ways but with boundaries. I do not hurt people, nor do I need their emotions. I only want attention from the ones I like.
        LOL Just screwing with you Findinglife11.

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  2. I will not wish you a Happy New Year, M. Tudor, because I know you have a special hate for me in your heart, and will not answer. So, now if you do, it will only be to prove me wrong. I can deal with this as I have plenty of sincere people around me that wish me a Happy New Year.

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      1. Thank you, Mister Tudor. It is true; no one on here really knows anyone else. We cannot hate whom we do not know.

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  3. This is indeed an excellent book. It provides practical and easy steps to start taking to diminish the all-pervasive influence of the narcissist and be well on the way to freedom. I highly recommend this book. I have not seen another resource that enables you, as HG frequently puts it, to seize the power. Thank you, HG, for being there for us! Happy New Year!

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    1. Agree! One of my favorites. I had it a bit easier them most. It was a short-lived connection comparably to others and he lives 2000 miles from me.
      I do say lucky for him. I can be very mean and I would have turned the darkness on.
      But he did hurt me and my family says it is because I did not win with him. I could not control the situation. Now that I am a more mature and mellowed feline, they are more willing to tell me how they see me and how I was at one time.

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  4. H.G can I seduce my ex narcissist who discarded me three months ago and is now with someone else? Would he decline the offer if I came on to him? Dont judge me but this is something I need to do…be with him one last time before I can let go.

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    1. AHOH

      Happy New Year! Last I read you were going to the gym. Did you go and then celebrate with Patron and Champagne after? I smiled at: ” I am a more mature and mellowed feline”. This may be the case but people should know still that a cat usually licks before he bites and proceed with caution lol. All the best to you in 2017.

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  5. H.G can I seduce my ex narcissist who discarded me three months ago and is now with someone else? Would he decline the offer if I came on to him? Please dont judge me but this is something that I have to do.. I have to be with him one last time before I can let go.

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    1. Hello KT, it is highly likely he will be in the golden period with this new primary source within the time scale that you have mentioned. He will not welcome your advances and will respond in an unpleasant fashion. If you really must seduce him again, you will have to wait until he devalues the new primary source.

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  6. Happy new year H.G. 😙
    And Happy new year to all!
    I have to read this book too!
    Yesterday I made a step back…I saw him after his daily calls and attention … and later this meeting he acted in cold and distant way… 😑 I regretted having agreed to view him…i feel stupid. Anyway now the mistake has done and I have to restablish no contact.

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  7. i do not think of him favorably or reminisce of golden period thoughts at all…
    i would purge him in a NY min if i could… but…. these 4 kids…keeps me connected like a ball and chain..
    i want so badly to cut him loose and run free!!!
    but i can’t.
    he constantly reminds me he is there making my life miserable…in 1 way or another…. punishing me for my escape….. bc after all…”he loves me”.
    ugh. ick.
    please don’t love me!
    just let me go!
    but he won’t…
    but….as much as possible…i purged him. ty HG. good insight and tips i learned in here to survive the inevitable in a sane fashion and deal w him the best way possible..
    being a F.R.E.E. and of course a proud “NoFuc”-er.
    😉

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  8. Hi HG! So, how do the different narcs handle the anniversary date of the day the victim either escaped or was discarded? Do they even think about it? Is it an important date for them to remember, or do they not even care?

    I’m guessing if they do think about it, then chances are greater of entering their 6th sphere, correct?

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    1. Good question BH. Most will forget about it because they just will not remember or they are pursuing other prospects. If it is remembered it causes you to enter the sixth sphere. There are of course those of us who make a note/remember for the purposes of making it an anniversary to remember…..

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      1. I think in my case, it could very possibly be noted in his mind, seeing how he discarded me on Easter Sunday, a pretty notable holiday. Who knows, maybe, maybe not. Either way, NO CONTACT for me – 🙂

        Okay, and can I just say, you thoroughly amaze me! It takes me all damn day just to get through all of your new email posts, along with all of the comments I follow, and I either am unable to keep up with you every day, or I can’t keep up with my life. Something has to give, and it sure as hell isn’t going to be you anytime soon … 🙂

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  9. The one year anniversary of my discard will be coming up in March, so it just made me wonder if I should expect anything different than what’s already happened. I’ll just keep with no contact and hope he stays busy with his other toys. Thank you for your insight, HG.

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  10. HG,

    Will the ‘purge’ work if I see him everyday at work (same room, and facing him)? I’m planning to work there for a couple of years more.

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    1. This continued interaction will test the efficacy of your purge, but if you purge in all other areas to reduce the emotional infection and increase your cool,hard logic this necessary interaction will be far easier to handle and far less likely to re-infect.

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      1. I have been away from office for 2 weeks now and feel a lot better, have stopped thinking about him and feel happy and rested. The draining will start again next week. Need to prepare … This blog, and all of you have helped me get through this. At least I know I am not going insane.

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