15 Seductive Triangles



Our seductive tendrils wrap around the unsuspecting and draw them into our false reality. We have many ways of effecting this seduction, from the outrageous declarations of premature love, to the excessive texting and messaging, from the gifts and attentiveness to the fantastic sex. There are many strings to our bow when it comes to seducing our victims. We love the allure of the triangle. Bringing someone else or something else into the dynamic between you and me generates endless possibilities for fuel, control and manipulation. Triangulation is seen throughout the narcissistic dance and appears more than you may realise at the outset of your relationship with our kind. Of course our most serious and intense seductive techniques are reserved for our intimate partners who become our primary source of fuel, but we triangulate everybody who we wish to draw fuel from. Whether you are a parent, a sibling, a co-worker, a boss, a friend or someone who is an acquaintance, we will triangulate you in some way.

When triangulation is used in seduction it will be done to portray ourselves as a good and decent person and on the receiving end of some unpleasant and undeserved behaviour from a different source, in order to make you admire us for dealing with this unnecessary attack or provide us with affection to make us feel better or sympathy in respect of our predicament. You are made to think that we are explaining our position and you are made to feel special because we are telling you about something that apparently is troubling us. The reality is that this is being done in order to draw an appropriate reaction from you for the purposes of gaining fuel. It is also designed to make you think that there is something you can do to assist us and help us and therefore gain favour with us through this action .Here are fifteen of these regularly used techniques which may be familiar to you or what you ought to be looking out for.

  1. My wife doesn’t understand me.
  2. My husband has no interest in sex with me anymore.
  3. My children don’t respect me.
  4. My parents expect me to be their full-time carers.
  5. My boss is a tyrant.
  6. My team are incompetent.
  7. My supplier is unreliable.
  8. My neighbour is inconsiderate.
  9. My partner never listens.
  10. My boyfriend spends all of his time with his friends rather than me.
  11. My girlfriend spends all my money.
  12. My friends expect me to be available all of the time.
  13. My partner just doesn’t appreciate what I do.
  14. My girlfriend would rather play Candy Crush than talk to me.
  15. My children never ring me to see how I am.

17 thoughts on “15 Seductive Triangles

  1. He has a female friend, non-intimate, who he used to spend time with. He would talk about her often, because we were no longer ‘together’ (that is a loose term). When it was obvious that the triangulation was bothering me, he stopped talking about her. A year later, he stopped talking to her completely to avoid my questioning, arguing etc. He is a narc, but he genuinely dislikes arguments.

    1. alissa says:

      Probably a covert narc, they usually say they hate arguing, yet love to silently blow up things and watch people suffer while they delight silently watching you unravel .

  2. He always complains about his friends borrowing money (thousands) frm him and not repaying. I started to realize this is just his perception. Maybe he offers, or maybe the friends will return it after some more time.

  3. Shesheb says:

    The sex was mind blowing. Best ever. At the time I couldn’t figure out he could he so good at it. After I figured him out I realized he was studying me and doing whatever necessary so it would be the best. It was all an act. He was totally concentrated(not enjoy the sex) concentrated on studying. Then once he got me hooked he would withhold it from me(it hurt this sensitive ministers conscious)Until I woukdnstart withdrawing from him, then he would pull out the mind blowing sex again. This went on and on with him trying to force me to divorce. I know now why he wouldn’t go be that up, he wanted ultimate control over me.
    I’ve been wanting to ask why don’t they want to wear condoms? I don’t get this. The Narc gave me HPL. I know he doesn’t care, but he is so obsessed with his body I can’t imagine a somatic being able to stand having a type of VD.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Hello Sehsheb, what you described is indeed the typical use of sex for control and the gathering of fuel. As to your question concerning condoms, I do know of some somatics who are terrified of catching STDs (and disease generally) and always rubber up (or at least that is what they say – before anybody suggests I have watched them do so). In others the refusal to do so will be because it is seen as conventional, fettering and the imposition of a form of accountability which offends the sense of impregnability and being impervious to the catching of a disease. Plus, those which may carry an STD of course have so sense of responsibility or desire to care for those they sleep with and if they infect them, well it will be the other person’s fault.

      1. Shesheb says:

        Thank you for the response.

    2. alissa says:

      Ive often wondered about the sex too, I’ve been with three narcs total I believe, maybe more haha, but one the sex was pretty amazing and felt also that we had some mind blown spiritual emotional connection as well. I felt like I was transcending through time or some shit. That was the hardest part to wrap my mind around, how he could pretend to have such intense emotions, especially with what I perceived to be the more intimate times I had ever experienced with someone else.

  4. jarwithaheavylid says:

    Now I’d just say Boo fucking hoo.”

    1. I was gonna say something nice to you, jarwithaheavylid, but you might possibly just say I’m being a “brown noser”, again…in your ignorance. You probably aren’t use to people “being nice”, so you judge them before you ask them questions as you did to me in my comment on M. Tudor’s other post. Very juvenile. I’d rather be nice, but you’ll just say I’m being a brown-noser.

  5. KT says:

    My narc keep on telling me how wonderful and important his family and children are. How close they are etc. He has never told me that i am important. Also when he is with his kids he tells me i should not text or phone since he wants to concentrate on his daughters. Is this triangulation?

    1. HG Tudor says:


  6. But, if you were around, M. Tudor, I would forgo Candy Crush!! For YOU!!

    1. Wow !! I’ve never played it. But I think if HG was around I’d give it a go.

      And probably sat there in the corner, sobbing whilst I played it, rocking back and forth.

      1. Alex, very fun game 🍒🍒🍒

  7. I do admit, Candy Crush is rather FUN 💘💘💘 I mean, c’mon!

  8. bananasareberries1 says:

    Yes, they are using same old tricks, for me that worked only once. I quickly realized what I was dealing with. It is just so difficult to comprehend people can be that twisted. Oh well, I am just wiser now.

  9. Still Confused says:

    There IS a script after all!!! #4, over and over and over! How does one object to such a caring, loving son? LIAR, LIAR, LIAR!!! I fell for #4…every single day.

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