Picture This
I love the first picture that I ever saw of you. It was not one taken by me although there will be hundreds of those in due course. A multiplicity of snapshots which have been taken to show the world how wonderful you and me are together. Each one carefully configured on my part to send a message. See who I am now taking to your favourite restaurant? Look how we went to Rome when you always wanted to go? How about that? I have gone to the theatre when I told you I hated watching plays. See how we get on with my family? Go on, look at how happy she is making me, far more than you ever did. No, those pictures, whilst valuable to me and my machinations do not come close to how I marvel over that first picture of you.
Was it instead a picture you sent me? One of the hundreds I asked for, begged for and demanded? At first I wanted them to show to you how you were always in my mind ( thus ensuring I became a fixture in your mind). I also wanted those racier photographs that I persuaded you to take for me. Initially I used them for titillation although the real motive was to store them away and use them as a method of forceful coercion further down the line. You know me, always thinking of the next move. Later I requested you send me photos under the guise of wanting to look on your beauty when the reality was that I wanted to ensure you were where you said you were (you never really noticed how I asked for you to stand under the sign of the bars you went in or the name of the store you were shopping in or next to the friends you had told me you had gone to visit)
No, the first picture of you, the one I love the most is the one I first came upon when I searched for you online. It might have been your profile picture from an internet dating site, your twitter banner picture or one you posted on Facebook. It could have been in the local press or a still from a youtube video. Either way, it was not one I had taken and it was not one that I had requested you take for me. I love that picture as I look on your engaging smile, the radiance emanating from it like solar flares from the sun, illuminating and bringing warmth all around you. Your skin is flawless and healthy, blooming with effervescence. Those long tresses of hair swinging to one side, or the bounce of your bob, or the neat rigidity of that fringe, all conveying that message of freedom and having been chosen by you. Your eyes shine, happiness exploding from them, the colour vibrant and elation searing from your gaze. I look on that picture that is burgeoning with potential, laden with possibility and exuding hope. You are a beacon of purity, decency and affection. Your caring nature cascades from that picture. You are that virgin empath, unsullied by my toxicity and untouched by my polluting influence.
Whenever I look on that first picture of you as the surge begins inside me and soars fast and fierce. I must have you. I remember again why I had to have you.
I see fresh prey.
43 thoughts on “Picture This”
Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)
This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.
i have this ex bf, i went abroad on our 3yr relationship, found out he has also on a relationship with a girl 2 yrs ahead of ours.i was devastated, came home one year after, we talked and he told me he would break up on her, he removed every picture of that girl on his FB, the girl did the same thing, posted stuffs like they are really separated.i believed him, i was sending money at least every 2 mos.9mos after, i found out its was all a cover up. my ex manipulated his gf to stay awy from me on facebook, not to answer any of my messages (to prevent me from finding out that they are still living together), my ex threatened her that if she is telling a word he would hurt her parents and siblings in the province, my bf and i chats everyday, even at her presence and she can not do nothing. Came the time, i found out (i chatted with her gf pretending to be someone else, she said somethin like his ex(my bf) was trying to win her back, it turned out that my bf saw her chatting with that someone(me) coz they are still staying in the same house, my bf had a clue i was that someone chatting with her, he went into the room, grabbed the celfone from her, so she left the house and stayed at her sister’s house..that was the time when she said that his ex was trying to win her back, he was txting and calling her. so i found out, all i thought was they just resumed talking that time, i didnt know they are staying at the same house since day 1. after that, i told my bf he needs to chooose between us(i still didnt know they are staying at the same house since day1), my bf chose me and he texted the other girl that he is not coming to pick her up. the other girl got mad, then she revealed that they are still staying at the same house since day 1, so she knows everytime i send money she told me. my bf got mad as well because she told me that, i could not believe what happened next, my bf sent me couple of naked pictures of her, with her face, even told me that if she tries to piss me off i could send those to her.thats when i realized, theres something wrong about this guy, but the girl said it is just normal for him because he is mad at her, crazy.just these previous days that ive found out there is a name for this.now i know he is a Narcissist.
He recently showed me a photo on his mobile that he took of me 4 years ago at work Christmas party – 9 months before he targeted me…
Mr. Tudor, being with as many women as you have, how do you know you don’t have a lovechild somewhere out there?
I haven’t.
This is called an effective contraception. By the way HG. How about safety first. You had so many sexual partners- are you using condoms or are you adventurous and need treatments of occasional STI? The statistics are horrifying for how many people get infected every year and in USA those many millions of people every year. So if you sleep with 4 people you catch STD once statistically speaking… I know this sounds like teasing but it is really to know more about narc behaviours as I read somewhere you have tendencies to take too many risks when it comes sex, ruthless driving, substance and alcohols abuse etc. I am just asking directly for science sake 😉
How are you so sure?
Because I know.
Following them around for 9 months after each discard and successful hoover? Looking for the tell tale sign of a swollen belly through your binoculars?
Damn my modus operandi has been rumbled!
Modus operandi. I love the words you use and how you use them. ❤
I better go change my profile pic on fb and put a better on up.
I’ll never forget that first picture you sent me……l think I will share it with all the others, ladies and gentleman…..
https://abb625.files.wordpress.com/2017/01/wp-1484780397150.jpg
Thank God for mobile phones!
How this hits hard.
We have been together for 5 years and when he went abroad for work we would send each other photos.
Months go by and we are texting and it again somehow turns into an argument about something I must have said wrong.
He told me I had to apologise but I refused to bow down to him.
He told me to say sorry or he would do something that I would regret. I said “do your worse”
BIG MISTAKE.
He said I had until he counted to 50 or else.
I laughed.
He literally counted via text each number…
50
49
48
Down to 30 where he would say, you better apologise..
29
28
And down to 10 where he told me it was my last chance to stop him doing something bad.
I refused.
I even counted down for him.
I was so hurt and humiliated at his control that I said 9, 8, 7, 6…
He got to 1.
Next popped up on my screen, my intimate photo.
I caught my breath and became really confused. “What the…”
“APOLOGISE OR I WILL POST THIS ALL OVER FACEBOOK”
I was in shock still and very confused. “Wha……. why… wha?”
“LAST CHANCE”
I started to get scared and I cried and pleaded with him to please not do it.
“RIGHT IM POSTING IT”
Sorry, I’m sorry I’m sorry please don’t do it.
He would tell me to say it again and he would tell me to stop crying as I’m pissing him off.
I told him I won’t forgive him for this and pleaded with him not to post it.
“SHUT UP. DONT EVER CROSS ME AGAIN. DO YOU UNDERSTAND?
yes yes I do. Please. Please.
STOP! STOP CRYING OTHERWISE I WILL SEND THIS PHOTO TO YOUR KIDS AND FAMILY
I started having a panic attack. Crying, begging, pleading, apologising.
Eventually he agreed not to post it.
Days later he told me he was sorry and he didn’t know what happened to him and forgive him please. He was drunk and depressed and he thought I was attacking him.
In 4 years he hadn’t done this before and I was in love and I felt bad for his depression and forgave him.
That’s the first time the word “narcissist” was mentioned to me by my friend.
Daydreamer, that is horrible. I had a somewhat similar but not exactly similar experience. It was yet another moment I should have run like mad. I am frightened for the next generation of women… this is becoming so common place, it’s horrible. Its horrible on a bullying level but when it’s an intimate partner doing this, someone you trusted, wow…. no wonder people commit suicide after being hurt this way. How horrible for you…
Thank You. I let him talk me around though. I think it was because it was so crazy that I just wanted to believe it never happened
DAYDREAMER
That is a great reminder to teach young women that sexting is inevitable but to protect themselves at the very least by never having their face and body in the same shot (and to follow our own advice as well).
Luckily my face wasn’t in the shot so I could deny BUT it was the fact that he would even comprehend putting me through such a barbaric act of manipulation
OK no more photos G.! 😉
and no more flirting 😉as I’m still married 😠😠😠
😉
What is this ‘no’ word you use?
So funny, HG.
“I must have you.” Is it ultimate fuel to target married women, especially if they are mostly happy? Is the control easier if they are at risk of losing those other relationships? Everyone has unmet needs, it’s the human condition. So there is always a way in, right? Mostly? Do you talk about in another blog post about targeting people in relationships, partnerships, marriages?
No it isn’t ultimate fuel because during the targeting they will be a non-intimate secondary source and then an intimate secondary source so whilst important in terms of fuel (and also moreover the potential to provide more potent fuel in the future as a primary source) they are not quite top of the tree.
What somebody married provides is the scope for an easier seduction and also triangulation with their spouse.
Can you explain if you can’t point me to a blog post, why the married provides a scope is for an easier seduction? Because the risks the married person is taking, the easier it is to control them through their shame and keeping them silent? Or perhaps because they are married, they might transfer/project their safe feelings of being in a marriage onto someone like your kind? Or the boredom factor/dysfunction factors of the marriage makes them more susceptible? Just random guessing
Your suggested reasons are valid ones Sarabella.
I wanna throw up. Triangulation makes me want to strangle someone
Sarabella,
My scenario: He is married, targeted and seduced me so I was a primary source or was I secondary source and his wife a primary source, which then switched. He has targeted a married woman who was until a few months ago a non intimate secondary source, and been elevated to primary source, with devaluation of his wife whom he had left and is divorcing. I have also been devalued, triangulated and discarded now the married woman has been embedded as the primary source.
So many strands… but the spider knows how to weave his web…..
HG so if contacted by let’s say messenger and you insist on the friend request being accepted to get to know each other, being told no I will think about it and will talk with you to get to know you, then you are blocked by said person.
What are the chances this is a Hoover? Or one of your kind just investigating?
I was told my picture came across their and They were interested in getting to know me, yet you already know what I am dealing with, would I be right in that it is him?
Thanks bunches HG for your insights!
Do you mean was it a hoover from a previous narc you have entangled with or a new one targeting you?
I am dealing with calls, breaking in of my car (not taking anything yet his Cologne lingers in it and this is a vehicle he has never seen), now this. And a person (shadow of a person) in my woods. To which of they are not careful will be very uncomfortable if they get any closer to my house.
I believe its him, yet I could very well be targeted to, only that has never happened before.
Most likely it is hoovering.
I don’t understand why being so insistent, I don’t respond to him I hang up, I am not responding in any way. He knows I will protect myself, why put himself in that position. What I gave could never have been that “good” and no one will ever convince me otherwise, the only thing I know is I have the answer to the one thing I know will drive him absolutely crazy not knowing, and I will be damn if I ever will tell him.
Would this cause me not leave his mind?
You ar clearly lodged in his sixth sphere as a consequence of an obsession.
Thank you would giving him the answer cause this obsession to cease?
Depends what it is.
His child is part of it, I remember how he acted when his ex wife disappeared with the children
Twilight, don’t give him the answer. Hold it for ransom!
Lol ransom huh?
Then take Indys idea of throwing cookies at him.
Lol cookies apparently mean sexual favors. Lol throw them carefully 😉
Ya I got that, nope sexual favors out of the questions I was being sarcastic, they would be the real deal cookies with very hot melted chocolate inside, yet then again I don’t want another reason for him to think of me
This is why my profile picture is that of my dog. HG, a question regarding narcissists and the phone. Is it common among you and your brethren to simply hang up on people when they’re saying something you: A) Don’t want to hear. B) Don’t want to deal with because the comment has taken you off-guard and you’re not yet sure how to get the control back. C) For fun, just to piss someone off?
a. If being criticised (fuel free) and see no way of drawing fuel from the person criticising then hanging up is a defence move;
b. If you are talking about yourself, (if in devaluation) we are not interested so we hang up to provoke a reaction;
c. Even if you are providing fuel (in devaluation) it will be done to manipulate. If you immediately call back, we know it works. Another form of silent treatment;
d. The football has started.
Aha! I thought so. Thanks. Another one used by a Greater I got rid of this year was: ” I don’t have a lot of charge on my phone so it may cut out during the call.” Then, if course, at the moment it suited her… Slam. Had I been reading your books or blog back then I would have allowed her to announce this bullshit then hang up on her first. Oops. My battery was apparently low too.