Nothing’s Impossible

nothings-impossible

There are times when even my charm is in limited supply and is refusing to stretch. This often happens when I have subjected a victim to a fierce period of devaluation so that they have been pushed to their limits and they are at breaking point. Something stirs inside of them which causes them to decide that they need to escape me. They may not fully understand why but they know that they need to depart. It may be the case that an external influence is interfering in my carefully laid plans of denigration and this meddling threatens to puncture of even sever my supply of delicious negative fuel. It is at these moments when I am staring at the potential loss of a succulent supply of fuel that I make a particular play in order to prevent the cessation of supply. In such circumstances I will ensure that there is only you and I and that the potential for external interference is at a minimum. I need to ensure that I have your undivided attention and there will not be somebody else seeking to throw a spanner into the works. I want them excluded and banished so that I can concentrate entirely on you and make my last throw of the dice.

“I know that this time I will have to change,” I will begin as I fix you with my most earnest of looks. You stop what you are doing and look at me and already I can see the indecision in your eyes as I start with this sentence. It is always a good opening gambit. You and your like love to think that we can change, that there is some goodness deep within us that can be harnessed and used to get us back on track. You are great believers in redemption.

“I need a miracle to help me this time, “ I continue as I underline the gravity of the task that I am faced with. By according such gravitas to your stated intention to depart, I demonstrate just how seriously I am taking your threat. Inside I am exploding with rage at your audacity in daring to even to suggest that you will leave me. Me, of all people, me who has done so much for you. It is everything I can do to contain the fury but I know I must do so for an explosion now will be what finally pushes you away.

“How did we come to be this far apart?” I ask fixing you with a pleading look. By underlining that we were once so close, nay inseparable, I am appealing to your desire to bring us back to that closeness once again. This also allows you a chance to talk and talk is something you like to do. I let you trot out all the perceived injustices that you have supposedly suffered at my hands. I hear little of it because I know that you are mistaken and this is all based on your incorrect perceptions of me. This time I just have to let it wash over me in order to allow my influence to exert itself over you. I cannot stand to be criticised and inside I am dying but I am taking this blow for the greater good, the greater good of ensuring this precious fuel supply remains intact.

“Just tell me what you need me to do and I will do it,” I trot out next, conning you into thinking that you have some vestige of power and authority over me, when of course you have none. Again in order to serve my own purposes I am content to allow you to think that you can bring some influence to bear over me. Again this will give you a chance to detail all of the change and remedial behaviours you expect me to engage in. I will nod and make the appropriate noises as you ramble on about the changes you want me to effect. I pluck the lines which I have heard others use on so many occasions to enable me to continue my con. You are suckered by it on every occasion. I know it works and this is why I do it.

“I know we can get through this, nothing’s impossible,” I add as I take your hands and stare into your eyes. Invariably this line secures you giving me yet another chance and your relief eclipses my own as I know that I have you once again. Your joy at not parting provides me with even further fuel and I can allow you a brief golden period by way of reward. After all, you may as well enjoy it because it is not going to last for long is it?

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18 thoughts on “Nothing’s Impossible”

  1. “Nothings impossible” is what keeps me tethered to my narcissist. I’ve glimpsed his True Self. As a tenacious Empath, I believe it exists and can be set free. I just haven’t yet found the key.

    Meanwhile, I suffer.

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    1. You are deceiving yourself. I asko caught that glimpse. An extremely frightened, lonely, scared… boy. Not am empath, a biy with a broken heart. I saw a glimpse and then he was gone. Never saw him again. His master told me, yes, I saw him correctly. But he made sure he never, ever came out again. These young boys are too buried. You are suffering for your own reasons for staying. They are too far gone. You are too late. Its reality….

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    2. I know. I was utterly convinced that NOBODY can be THAT good an actor. I don’t know if I’m convinced or not NOW. But I had to leave for my safety. He was going to kill me and there came a point where I just could not permit myself to be treated that way. Now whether or not some of him was genuine is irrelevant. I want you to take care of yourself Karin. I want you to really really love yourself and take care. The longer you stay holding out hope the more insidious and extensive the psychological devastation will be. Please treat your self as a tiny little baby. With great care. 🐇🐇🐇🐇

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  2. I caught a glimpse of mine’s true self as well. The night he let his mask slip off and went into a rage I caught a glimpse and almost reached him. After that the devaluation became brutal and relentless. He knew I had, I told him and described what I saw. It was probably the only truthful conversation of any consequence we ever had. I am glad to be free. I tried everything to reach him but I simply could not take anymore abuse. My mind and body were both failing me and I had to go into survival mode or die.

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    1. Yes. This is the dynamic that I had a great amount of trouble with. I saw the baby that he was once when I gazed upon a baby picture of him. Bright eyes and smile. I named him Bubbles. I am not able to have children and I think this baby became my baby. I saw through much of the bullshit of the narc but I could NOT abandon Bubbles. Narc used this for all it was worth. When he did something horrible and I proceeded to start tearing him a new a#####e he immediately would text me this picture of Bubbles. And of course I was so charmed by this baby that I would back off.

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  3. YOU LOT ARE SO FUCKING MONOTON AND BORING IT’S UNTRUE! I NEED TO GET OUT MY RAGE ON YOU LOT SO YOU WILL DO BUT YOUR ALL THE SAME DEAD BEATS!!!

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  4. Hahaha. That’s when you make mistakes. You panic. The limb of satan that I was married to decided that he could not do without me and signed up for wife beating counselling. The entrance paperwork included a signed piece of paper admitting the heinous acts he had perpetrated against me including, but not limited to, throwing me down the stairs, choking me until I passed out, various and sundry sexual abuse, blah blah blah, which he then sent to me as evidence of his dedication (snort) in getting me back. I took this signed confession to the police and he is currently awaiting trial. Stupid bloody idiot.

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  5. went through this cycle for over a year. Finally after the PFA I got a little better at not giving in. And I may have, I actually still want to believe it sometimes. For some reason though, I will get a message like this then all but 2 hours later out of nowhere he devalues me again. I still cant wrap my head around it.

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  6. I wonder how many of the good actors are actually narcs? Mel gibbson is probably one, and I think Angelina Jolie is too.

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  7. I’ ve just heard it all over again yesterday, was even accompany it with crocodiles tears.
    I am amused now.
    I shall let you entertain me.
    I shall be the one to gloat on fluel.
    I shall be the one to make you desire to unlock me.
    I shall be the one to wear a dangling charming golden key around my neck and never let you touch it.
    I shall be the one to tantilise you with secrets.
    I shall learn to lie and cheat.
    Will it help you see the daylight of yourself? No of course not.
    But at least i shall be entertained.
    Until i am bored.

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