The Four Classes

the-four-classes

 

I have written before about how there are four cadres of narcissist – the Victim, the Somatic, The Cerebral and the Elite. I have also references on many occasions the three different schools – the Lesser, the Mid-Range and the Greater. Knowing what cadre and school your narcissist belongs to is extremely helpful in enabling you to understand why he or she behaves in the manner that they do and also to enable you to know what you need to do and what you should expect.

It is also worth your while knowing that there are also four classes which are applicable to the interaction between us and our primary sources. There are, effectively, four overarching methodologies which our kind applies to our primary source of fuel. The people who are our primary sources are almost always intimate partners and we operate in a certain way with regard we treat those people. I am not referring to the narcissistic cycle of seduction, devaluation, discard and hoover but instead the interaction over time between us and our primary sources.

Identifying the type you are engaged with or have been engaged with will provide you with insight into his or her behaviour and allow you to understand what you can expect by way of further interaction.

The first is the Nomad. This narcissist will form a relationship and conduct the narcissistic cycle and then as part of that cycle, identify a new appliance. Once with the new appliance, there may be the occasional hoover of the old appliance and there will be intermittent seduction of passing interests whilst with the new appliance and then another new appliance is sought out. The Nomad will triangulate the new appliance that he has and that triangulation will be with both the old appliance and other appliances, but he will only “skirmish” with those old and other appliances whilst with the new. He uses the old appliances and the other appliances naturally for fuel, he uses them to triangulate with the current, new appliance but he will not return to the old appliance to form an ongoing relationship. He may spend a few days with that person, a night together, maybe even a holiday but he will not want to commence the more formal relationship with the old appliance. He will always consider a return, after all hoover fuel is excellent fuel and he will take it but he has no desire, nor the energy, to instigate a long golden period through this hoover. He will connect, charm for a night, a few days perhaps a week or two and then he will return to the current appliance. He may come back to the old appliance much later down the line, when there is a different new appliance, but the pattern will remain the same. There will be no relationship in the formal sense with that old appliance. That has happened once and will not again, but the opportunity for a brief burst of fuel will not be relinquished. As for the other appliances, he will utilise them in the same way. He will spend a night with them, perhaps a few days but there will be no relationship at all. Unlike the old appliance, where there once was a relationship, the other appliances are just passing fancies, to distract him from the current, new appliance and to use for the purposes of triangulation.

Once he tires of the new appliance, he finds someone different and does not return to the old and the other appliances but seeks fresh territory. He will seek out a completely new appliance. He will triangulate this new and different appliance with the recently discarded one, he may even do so with the one before that, the older appliance but he will not form relationships again with the old or older appliances. He is always moving, seeking out new victims, occasionally hoovering old ones, but not to the extent of resurrecting an ongoing relationship with them.

The second is the Ping Pong Player. This type of narcissist will secure his new appliance and he will triangulate her with the old appliance. He will then hoover the old appliance and return to her as part of an ongoing relationship. He will triangulate her with the recently replaced appliance who was the new appliance. He will then vacillate back and forth between these two appliances, leaving one for the other, a lengthy and ongoing tug-of-love as the narcissist bounces back and forth like a ping pong ball between the two same people. There may be interaction with other appliances on an intimate level but they will be one night stands and brief liaisons. He is only interested in the long-term in moving between two particular appliances. He has his two primary sources who he goes back and forth between for as long as he can. Should one eventually decide against continuing with this arrangement then this narcissist will organise a replacement and draw them into this ping pong set-up. The newly escaped former appliance will be hoovered initially in order to maintain the ping pong set-up, but if this fails then a new person will be drawn into the arrangement. There may be intermittent hoovers of the escaped appliance but she will no longer form part of the ping-pong arrangement as the narcissist now has two primary sources to shuttle back and forth between

The third is the Anchor. This primary source is long-suffering. The narcissist will have a long-standing intimate partner, usually a spouse and there will be children involved. The narcissist will seek out fresh appliances and conduct affairs, possibly leaving the long-standing appliance and striking out anew with the replacement. After a period of time, the narcissist will return to the long-standing appliance, often citing missing the children, or doing it for the children, or they realised just how much their spouse truly loves them and they love her. The recently acquired appliance will be cast aside for some time. The narcissist may hoover that discarded appliance at a future point but only for the purpose of one-night stands and infrequent liaisons. He has no interest in resurrecting the relationship again. Instead, he will then seek out a new appliance and leave the long-standing one again as he pursues the dream of potent fuel forever with the newly acquired individual. Once again the affair will end and the narcissist will push her to one side and return to the long-suffering appliance. Time and time again he will leave her, having affairs and leaving home, before returning at a future point. It is often an individual who is regarded as the Anchor, the one who remains in situ and never changes, who is co-dependent to a considerable degree and is unable to want anyone other than the narcissist no matter how many times he has left and come back and no matter how many affairs that he has had.

The final category is the hybrid. This narcissist may operate the Anchor scenario before over time changing to the Nomad and then perhaps back to the Anchor or the Ping Pong arrangement. He will morph and shift between these different approaches, often as a consequence of the disruption to the primary source of fuel, whereby for instance the long-suffering Anchor finally moves on or is helped away from the narcissist, or perhaps both primary sources in the Ping Pong arrangement reject the narcissist and he is forced to adopt a Nomadic approach.

There are numerous reasons why these arrangements are adopted, dependent on the type of victim, the type of narcissist and other factors which I shall elaborate on in a separate article. No doubt you can recognise which methodology was applicable to your entanglement.

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25 thoughts on “The Four Classes”

  1. Do narcissists apply the ping pong tactic on friends ? Because i know a person that might be a greater that did something like that. Back in school we were this group of friends and after an incident we split in two sides. Everybody stood by his decision except for this person who would alternate between the two groups. The last period that we hang out together she practically forced herself into the group (After being absent for a long period) and although at least the majority of the group didn’t want her nobody said anything out of courtesy and because if we did she had the ability to manipulate it to her advantage. But she didn’t stop there. She tried to defame us to a girl of the group by playing the victim or accusing us of being immature (even if that was true, she was in no position to judge us because we where not true friends we just put up with her) We continued to ignore her and play stupid and finally she quit and kept hanging out only with the aforementioned girl only to stop being friends with her two. She is still in touch with the people from the other group ( She knew them long before she have met us) but i don’t know if the are close friends anymore. Maybe at some point she turned into a hybrid because of the circumstances.

  2. HG – If the MR narc I know is always off and on with girlfriends does that mean they are ping pong players?

  3. Oh my God THANKS.
    i found 3 days ago that my husband (for 1 year only) is a nomadic Narcissist. He even wants to travel the world for a “self-development” thing. He lived already in 4 different countries.
    Also, he mention this poliamorous thing, and he had several girls on his contacts ( i tho were old friends) but as soon as he asked the divorce he started contacting these girls again (he was playing with the old supply -me – and the new supplies – them – all the time). JESUS CHRIST. He says he is going to therapy next week, also couple therapie but I think, for all these details he is never going to change.

  4. The long-suffering anchor person is a weak and pathetic loser. That’s how the person who escapes ‘wins’. The weak and pathetic loser who has been told their partner is a narcissist is addicted to their abuse.

    It’s a fight for righteousness between them, really.

  5. HG, may I ask …. What was your reaction when your ex girlfriend suggested to you that you may be a narcissist. Did you ever contact her again to thank her?
    Can you envisage any scenario whereby one of you kind; lesser, mid range or greater reacts positively to being told this informationto in an unemotional, non threatening way. After all, were you not happy to finally understand what was behind your feelings and behaviour. Many thanks. x

  6. HG, may I ask …. What was your reaction when your ex-girlfriend suggested to you that you may be a narcissist. Did you ever contact her again to “thank her.”
    Can you envisage any scenario whereby one of your kind; lesser, mid range or greater reacts positively to being told this information in a completely unemotional, non threatening way. After all, were you not happy and relieved to finally understand what was behind your feelings and behaviour.
    Many thanks.
    x

    1. Hello Annes383, as explained elsewhere, I listened and went away and read more about it and realised she was right. I then had a label to put to what I was. I have contacted her and indeed thanked her, but only as part of drawing fuel from her, my thanks was not genuine.
      I was not happy to finally understand, but I was content to be given direction to make further sense of the differences I recognised that I had. It of course also enabled me to recognise certain things about other family members.
      A Greater may react to this is a positive fashion if he saw something to be gained from doing so. A Lesser and a Mid Range would not.

      1. Thank you once again for answering my question HG. It is very much appreciated. Would you ever consider writing a book or a short piece on how to manipulate the narcissist – or at least the best way stay on his good side in order to achieve your own aims. I’m speaking as a SS who is “happily” involved with one of your kind and would like this to continue. I know now I was discarded once but I’m back in the circle of friends and things have sort of picked up where we left off – albeit it is no golden period and the silent periods, as you have correctly stated, can be more protracted. But……..It is so much easier when you know what you are dealing with. The night vision goggles you spoke of sealed the deal for me. It’s so empowering when you finally realise what is going on, get over the emotional side of it, even laugh about it (the texting – just genius) and then watch it all play out in front of you again ……I must admit I enjoy it even more now. Thank you for giving me that and taking away the pain of “not being good enough/all my fault” – so very freeing. I’ve read Fuel and Revenge but think Manipulating the Narcissist would be a best seller. Always in your debt. A xx

      2. Have you ever just enjoyed the company of a woman, romantic or otherwise? I mean in the sense that you shared common interests, or she made you laugh, or whatever really?

        I’m not asking to receive misguided validation regarding my relationship, because we would never work as friends (we’re very different), I’m just genuinely curious.

  7. HG,
    Does the school of the narcissist, determine the class they enter? I am not sure if that make sense. Are the lessers more prone to nomad and ping pong behaviours?

      1. And here I thought it was me in a black trench coat and Jimmy Choos sliding up to a Narc at a bar bumping into him so he spills drink on me as I say OMG, I am so sorry. Let me clean that up for you. All empathetically covert like. *turns to camera and winks*

  8. Hmmm.
    Upper Greater Cerebral Nomad Narcissist.
    Holy cow HG! Is there anythingmore to add to that title? Talk about getting into it! Its doing my head in!! Thanks heaps anyway. 🙂

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