The Ten Initial Narcissistic Desires

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I am red of tooth and claw. I seduce, I hurt, I cast to one side and like some malevolent Pied Piper, I play my tunes once again and draw you into my fabricated world. I operate a zero sum policy. I want what you have. If I gain it, I win. I love to win. I must always win. The winner is the conqueror, the strongest and the survivor. This is what I have been taught. That is the reality of my existence. Yet when you have been selected as our targets and the seduction has commenced, we have certain desires that we want to be true. There are initial desires that exist so that we do not have to go down the road so often travelled. We may have ensnared you but might we remain protector rather than persecutor?

We have these wants at the outset of our coupling with you. These are genuine, well-intentioned and considerable in nature. We are imbued with hope, optimism and confidence, every time a new prospect has been embraced by us. We want these things so that the teeth are never bared and the claws remain lowered.

  1. You are the one

I chose you because you are so special. I truly believe that you are the one, this time, to change everything that has happened before. You are the one who will save us, you have been selected beyond everybody else because you are the one. That is why we have such an infatuation with you at the outset of our relationship.

  1. You will not betray us.

The world is a cruel and harsh place and we know better than most how that is the case. We are surrounded by those who would strike us down and grind us into the nothingness which we fear. Those assassins lurk and wait, seeking their moment and we must ensure we remain vigilant so we do not fall prey to them. Traitors and betrayers mill about us, but we are wise to them. We know their game and we have them in our eye. We do not want you to be one of them.

  1. You won’t be like the others

We thought they would be the ones that we desired but they disappointed and dismayed and they left us no choice other than to punish them for their lack of loyalty and their false promises. We had to do so, otherwise a failure to act would only compound the perception of our weakness and we must at all times project to the world our image of success and magnificence. We hope you will not be like them so we need not maintain such a façade and we hope you will prove your worth so that you will not be like the others and let us down.

  1. You will stop the emptiness

Each and every day we must seek to fill the void that lurks within. It is part of what we are and we accept that this is the task which must be addressed because so much rests on being able to perform this important act. It is the reason for our existence but perhaps you can stop that sense of emptiness for us. Perhaps you can take away that void and provide us with the substance that we crave.

  1. You quell the fury

It is always there, churning away, waiting to be unleashed and directed at some transgressor, critic or traitor. I have learned to control it, many of my kind cannot do so and will never do so, it is a mark of my excellence and my superiority. I make it work for me, to advance my plans and to smite my foes. I have no choice for it is always there, waiting to be ignited in an instant. I can control it but I cannot quell it. Can you be the one to do this for me?

  1. You won’t get too close

Perhaps if you avoid getting too close to us you will not then let us down like the others before you have. We hope that you can provide us with all the things that we desire without the need to invade our inner sanctum which must remain locked and shuttered. Do not attempt to enter there for the consequences are too dreadful, for us both. Do not get too close and perhaps we have a chance to achieve the other desires that we wish for.

  1. You really do love us

They all seem to do so at the beginning but then we find ourselves surrounded by charlatans, con-merchants and frauds. Why does this always happen? All we want is for you to love us, unconditionally and eternally. That is what we only ever wanted.

  1. You will not wound us

No matter how grand and imperial we are, no matter how magnificent our achievements and our deportment that signals to the world that we are truly brilliant, a leader in our field, a behemoth and a colossus, we can be wounded with such despicable ease by those who send criticism our way. It hurts, it burns and it wounds and we must defend ourselves against such unwarranted and disgusting behaviour. Perhaps you will be the one who will not wound us in this way.

  1. You will not leave

Don’t leave us. The others have always done so. We do not understand why that is after everything that we have done, all the things we endeavoured to do to please them and then this is what happens. The others leave us twice. They come with such promise and deliver for a time but then they do so no longer and through such an omission they leave us. We want that person to return but struggle to contain the fury which is unleashed from this horrible criticism of us and then you sever all possibility of a return when you walk away from us. Do you know who you are when you do that?

  1. You won’t make us leave you.

Please do not do the things which force us away from you. The others all headed down that path. It causes us to consider that we are cursed, forever burdened by the fate that we will have no choice other than to leave you in order to secure our survival. Perhaps you can be the one who prevents that feeling from happening?

Each and every time these ten desires loom large when we commence our engagement with you. Some show such promise and for such a time and then one by one these desires are crushed, shattered and obliterated. We know only one way to respond to the destruction of our desires because we are red of tooth and claw.

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27 thoughts on “The Ten Initial Narcissistic Desires”

  1. Ah the view of the sociopathic narcissist, everything is about him. Yes we will not love you, never did — you behind the clown mask. We cannot fill your emptiness, you are emptiness. We will insite your fury because that is all you have to insite. We will leave you desolate, like a barren desert, dry and wasting away. Your hunger will drive you to search out food elsewhere, you poor famished soul. Bon appetit.

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  2. Sooner or later, you will find a reason to despise her… when she breaks down, she is too weak… when she fights back, she is a traitor.

    You ultimately want someone who LETS YOU play the puppet master, so, the eight-year-old in you can feel powerful! This is not going to happen! Forget it!! Time to get real, HG!

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  3. Yes, the way he looked at me I thought I had seduced him just by being me. And that is true in itself.

    He did think I was the one, but alas, I am human. If only he thought he was human too.

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  4. HG, The people that are feared are they the ones that are aware of who he/she is although the narc is unaware? I feel like the assassin in fact I am to the narcs in my life.

    The world is a cruel and harsh place and we know better than most how that is the case. We are surrounded by those who would strike us down and grind us into the nothingness which we fear. Those assassins lurk and wait, seeking their moment and we must ensure we remain vigilant so we do not fall prey to them.

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    1. The fear arises that people may fail to comply with what we need, they stop doing what we want, they stop providing fuel and so on. There does not have a reason as to why that happens, only the concern that it may happen.

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      1. HG
        It seems strange that there is any fear considering that the world is such that if you throw out but a crumb 20 more appliances would appear. Or does your thinking allow that you are so omnipotent that you could actually exhaust the supply on Planet Earth? Lol. Nevermind-just answered my own question. Carry on.

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      2. Thanks HG,

        Most people that live lives being dishonest fear the unveiling of the mask. A disorder person should be used to people failing to comply, ceases doing what they want and providing fuel . It must be draining to constantly fear the envitable.

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  5. 1. We are only special because the fuel has been tested onsite, deemed appropriate for exploiting.
    2. We can only be betrayed a number of times and far too many as the fuel testing proceeds until we must announce we are being hurt by the lies, broken promises, betrayals and rude inconsiderate behavior of our fuel tester.
    3. We are placed in the same category as the others because an excuse is needed daily for the lack of intimacy that the fuel tester is incapable of and that is not our problem. The fuel tester is in for a good time, not a long time.
    4. We are not responsible for filling in holes, that is not in the job description (oh dear, what makes me feel like this is criteria for a job, not a relationship).
    5. No one likes to handle live wires. They smoulder and touching them is likely to give a decent zap or may cause death by electrocution. The appliance must be discarded, or replaced. The appliance is likely to have gross damage, is dangerous and unreliable.
    6.We are human and being dehumanised, punished for being loving goes against humanity. We are not on the battlefield alone. We wanted a relationship not dehumanisation.
    7. We cannot love unconditionally when the conditions are too harsh for human existence, nor can we guarantee what will occur in eternity, but keep faith that we may live beyond this earthly life.
    8.Hurts, burning and wounding happens to each and every person on the planet. For some it is criticism for others humiliation and a platform of reasons, that none can deny-it is part of life, feels awful, yes- preventable, yes to a degree. Two way street Mr HG.
    9. We want that person to return but struggle to contain the fury which is unleashed from this horrible criticism of us and then you sever all possibility of a return when you walk away from us. (Do you know who you are when you do that)?
    Who are we? Why are we walking away, why? What drove us? (Our survival).
    10. We must push you away and deny you the fuel, for you were not honest and could not even admit any feelings of something you feign as love and tricked us.

    11…..Your kind cannot be loved and you cannot love….there is no essence.no substance.faux…Can a cardboard box love? One cannot continue to try and love someone that cannot love back.

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  6. Number 4, 5 and 7.
    Making other people responsible for filling our own void, for stopping our emptiness, for quelling our fury, for giving us happiness or whatever we do not have in ourselves leads to frustration. It is not right to expect that other people give to us what we do not have. Many years ago I used to think that my IP would give me the *unconditional* love I did not get from my own family but I have learnt that this is not fair and it will never happen. If we did not receive *unconditional* love, respect and acceptance from the people who were responsible for giving it to us (our parents), we will never receive it from others.
    It is not easy but I think that most of us coming from unhealthy narcissistic families have to learn in adulthood to give us the acceptance and respect we did not receive from our families and not to depend on others for our emotional needs.

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    1. The problem is probably your IP gave you incondicional love but you took it for granted, thought you were entitled to it and stopped deserving it so you lost it. The only unconditional love that could go one way and not be reciprocated is the way parents should love. But in intimate relationships if you prove worthless why should we keep loving if it’s all a lie? The façade falls, we see the emptiness, all the good qualities you showed at first go missing and we realise the person we trusted and loved isn’t there. So it’s not that the unconditional love doesn’t exist, it does but it’s for another person and that person unfortunately doesn’t exist.

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      1. @ME
        My comment has been misunderstood. As I wrote at the beginning, I was referring to No. 4, 5 and 7. I did not say I am a narcissist. I do not have a NPD or any Cluster B disorder and neither has my husband.
        What I wanted to convey was that *all of us coming from narcissistic families* (NPDs and nons) have our own problems.

        If you have chosen someone with a NPD as an IP and you feel ok to be treated like a “Queen” and to hear all kinds of exaggerations and ridiculous things like “I love you and I always have”, you may have some kind of void, you may be longing for something your family did not give you because the seduction period a narcissist gives to his victim does not belong to a relationship between two people who are honest and sincere to each other.

        In my case, I did not marry a narcissist. I did want to have unconditional love at the beginning but soon did I learn it was not ok. You are right, that the only unconditional love that could go one way and not be reciprocated is the way (healthy) parents love.
        Even if I do not destroy other people’s lives, I do not feel as if I were free from problems. I do not consider myself to be Mother Theresa.
        In my opinion, we (non narcissists) are not 100% healthy either.

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    2. anyway, EB, if you are a narcissist I may add your comment seems very mature, looks like you accept your flaws and not blaming your IP for your own limitations sounds like you would be able to learn from your past mistakes. Who knows, maybe there’s hope for some of you.

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      1. @Me
        Thank you for your kind words, Me.
        Yes, I have flaws and I am working on them, although this is not always easy. I consider myself more of a hybrid with some empath, co-dependent and narcissistic traits. I do not have the sense of entitlement, the void, the emptiness or the need to feed off other people’s emotions.

        What I wanted to express in my previous comment was that narcissistic *and* also non narcissistic adult children of *unhealthy/ dysfunctional* families (please note that I am not speaking of healthy families here) have some emotional needs unmet and will try to meet these unfulfilled needs in relationships. In this respect, narcissists and non narcissists have something in common.

        Maybe some people will not agree with what I am going to say but this is my experience in my dysfunctional family. Most of those positive qualities or traits (being honest, telling the truth, having a moral compass, being a good listener, being responsible for others, etc.) are there because of our upbringing and not because of our genes. I am speaking about people coming from *unhealthy* family systems.

        For example, if a parent finds it amusing every time he hears his daughter telling lies or making up stories about other people but at the same time he punishes his son harshly with an hour tirade for telling a single lie, it is not difficult to predict how those two children will think and behave when they come into adulthood.

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      2. You don’t sound very narcissistic to me, EB. I often think empaths and narcissists are the two sides of the same coin. Maybe you see narcissistic traits but you’re not one of them. I thought I was “poisoned ” when I realised I have many “narcissistic qualities ” but now, thanks to HGs writings too, I realise that even if I don’t meet the “victims ” profile, it doesn’t mean I became one of them.
        I identify myself many times more with the narcissist than with the victim… but obviously I couldn’t be one of them. I love, I suffer and I blame myself for everything so I don’t meet those criteria.
        As for the upbringing I don’t think the ideal family exists. In the same environment you can get normals, narcissists and empaths, it depends on the strength the person has. It’s easy in my opinion to end up fucked up and blaming others , the difficulty is to embrace whatever was given to you in the childhood and and use it for good. Sorry maybe I’m not explaining myself. I just want to say the personal approach makes the huge difference and yours doesn’t seem very narcissistic to me.

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  7. The whole time I was reading this there was one thing on my mind : Grow up! Narcissists are literally the emotional equivalent of 3 year old, just smarter… But why grow up when this works, right? 😀

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  8. Except for the part about being unkempt, this perfectly describes the criminal psychopath I was involved with. This greatly helps me in seeing who he really is instead of the love interest I thought he was. BTW, I was responsible for authorities going into Mexico and arresting him. (: Hope this helps someone like it did me.
    Victimized Extreme Narcissist (VEM).
    According to statistics approximately 6 percent of Americans are afflicted with narcissist personality disorder (NPD). All individuals have a low percentage of narcissism and this is okay. In fact, a low percentage of narcissism is healthy as part of one’s self-esteem. On the other hands, someone afflicted with full blown narcissist personality disorder (NPD) is not healthy. In fact, these people will create havoc everywhere they go. Like sociopaths and psychopaths narcissist lack empathy, and are pathological liars. They are master manipulators and are not easily embarrassed. Rarely those with these disorders kill. Unless, they are the extreme psychopath that vie on spilling blood for thrills like we have seen on TV.
    Types of narcissist (Somatic, Cerebral and Oh My!)
    There are several types of narcissist. The somatic narcissist and the cerebral narcissist are those that you find more information about on the Web and literature. The somatic narcissist is most obsessed with the body (soma). These are some of the types you will see flexing their muscles at the gym. Note, that not all that flex their muscles are narcissist. The cerebral narcissist use their intellect. The cerebral narcissist is a know it all and will immediately let you know while engaging in a discussion. They aim to win at all cost. However, there is another type of narcissist that is the most dangerous of all. The victimized extreme narcissist (VEN). This type flies under the radar because unlike the somatic and the cerebral narcissist there is not a lot of information for this type of narcissist. This is the narcissist I will refer to here.
    Traits of victimized extreme narcissist
    Victimized Extreme Narcissist are covert pathological liars. They will lie with such conviction that they are almost believable until you learn otherwise. They manipulate everything to avoid being seen for who they truly are. They fabricate stories about their misfortunes. They pretend to have the worst of all circumstances, including a horrible upbringing. They have learned from an early age that by playing the victim they can control others with the pity ploy. These types will tell you how their children abandoned them through no fault of their own. They will tell you about how their exes fooled around on them and all the craziness the exes put them through. Poor them! They will tell you how they lost their jobs, because their bosses had it out for them, or how a certain contract wasn’t renewed. How they couldn’t land a certain position they applied for, because there was someone in the company that didn’t like them from a previous life time. They will tell you how they can’t pay child support because their boss would not give them enough work hours. When you begin digging you come to find out that their exes left because they were pure evil to them. Their children don’t want anything to do with them, because they were too selfish, immature and self-centered to become parents. The worst is that they will always put their needs before their children’s. They lost their job because they stole from the company and they did not get the new job because frankly everyone knows what a parasite they are.

    The victimized extreme narcissist is society’s parasite. They are followed by debt collectors. They steal and think nothing of it. They write bad check and if caught will look for other ways to dupe others for money or blame someone else. They even steal from those they claim to love. They own nothing, because they squander it all away. They borrow your money with promises to pay and you will never see it. They claim to never have money for one reason or another to leech off others. The more you give, the more they take. They have several foreclosures and divorces. They are bottomless dark pits with no soul. They are con artist and master exploiters. They will cry crocodile tears to get you to drop your defenses. They love drama. In fact, they will cause drama every second they can and call you a bully for standing up to them when in reality they are the ones doing the bullying. They work at meaningless jobs. If they managed to stay in a job long term believe me it’s because no one else wanted them. They are leeches and vermin of society. They cheat their way through life with everyone including love interest. They do not form relationships and do not have friends. They are callous and mean.
    Dupers Delight.
    When you encounter a victimized extreme narcissist they will mirror everything about you. This is because they do not have a true self. They have created a false self to dupe others into liking them. This is not who they really are. They will ask questions to get to know everything about you. This is information they will use against you in the future. They will tell you to confide in them and tell you they will never hurt you while stabbing you in the back. They will stress how honest they are to get you to drop your defenses. They are the true epitome of evil. The victimized extreme narcissist will lie and pretend that they are building a relationship with you meantime they have other victims they are duping as well. They will call and text you constantly, but not because you mean anything to them. They do not love you and never will. They are securing you as supply for money, sex or admiration. They have several supplies that they dupe and you are just another supply in their queue. They will break every promise they ever swore. Once you call them on their lies they will gas light you with a thousand excuses. If you persist on being treated fairly they will rage at you. They will accuse you of doing to them exactly what they are doing to you.
    Trying to reason with the narcissist to see you as an equal and treat you with respect is like a dog chasing its tail. It’s the merry-go-round from hell. They will try to bully you into submission to control you and then tell you that you are trying to control them. This is when you see their mask slip. The person you met and promised you the world is a fake. The hero is truly a zero in aluminum foil who strolled up on a decrepit donkey. The person behind the fallen mask is their true self. The person with the mask on is the fake person they created by mimicking you and others. They pick up a trait from every victim that they have conned.
    The victimized narcissist mimics others, because they have no creativity. To have creativity you must have a true self. Mimicking other’s behavior allows them to go through life duping others. This is call dupers delight. In fact, if you look back many of your slogans or words you use with them, they will use them with you. Anything you like they will use on their other victims. They betray you in the worst way. If you ask them for something they will not give it to you. In fact, they will give it to the new victim. They bring nothing with them. They offer nothing, and yet expect you to be loyal, caring and giving. They are callous and the devil’s spawn. They are an 8 years old in an old person’s body. They are true children of the corn.
    Silent treatment
    When you begin to see their mask slip and confront them about their lies they will give you the silent treatment. The silent treatment is a form of cruelty and their favorite immature pastime. The purpose of this is to get you to bend at their will. This is a form of control. The silent treatment can go on for hours, weeks or months. They will not discuss anything like mature adults. They lack souls, and consideration. Traits that a normal human being values. However, they will assure you that they do. Once you catch on to their game they will discard you or cause drama so you can discard them. Then they will blame you for the failure of the relationship. Nothing with them is peaceful. Your health will suffer. You will never be at peace. You will never carry a mature conversations with these evils seeds. They delight in getting you to stoop to their level of pond scum. This is because they live for fuel, positive or negative. Fuel is what gives them existence, because they have no life nor foundation from which they operate from. Normal people play by certain standards and rules. We treat others the way we want to be treated. We abide by rules. We love and support each other and expect the same in return. We praise each other for a job well done. These are all elements that does not apply to the victimized extreme narcissist. They are parasites who do not follow any standard of society. You were pursued only to be used.
    The Dark Cloud
    Unlike the somatic and cerebral narcissist the VEM is unkempt. Many times going days without bathing. They look haggard and beat down. Their clothes are untidy and outdated. Once a good looking person, no longer can rely on their looks. VEMs also have extreme addictions. Some are addicted to drugs, alcohol, black coffee and/or chain smoking. This causes them to have black teeth and severe cavities. In fact, in a recent study the more extreme narcissist the darker and more robust the coffee they preferred. They hate to be alone, because they cannot stand themselves.They will take anything in the form of supply, including both genders, old, young and transgender. VEMs have no gender. They do not see black or white. Everyone is for the taking. They stoop so low they will go after anyone as long as he/she breath. Even it it means going after the lowest of the low. This is termed low grade supply. Anyone that gives them some form of validation.
    They are always on the run from themselves. This is because their souls are so dark and gets darker from all the evil they have done. To be alone is to have to face their evil. They rarely sleep and when they do, they do not think of those who they have hurt. They fall straight to sleep without a care in the world. Like an addict, once their eyes open, the only thing on their mind is supply. They are on every dating site known to man using old pictures or other images that do not show who they really are. This is done to hook anyone that bites. They look for anyone for supply (money, sex, admiration, or fuel).
    The VEM is also addicted to porn. They prefer this to building decent human relationships. Due to severe porn addition they become impotent. They spend hours on their phone and computer looking for anything that will give them a cheap thrill including prostitutes and one night stands. They send naked photos and videos of themselves that wind up on the web for the world to see. They have unprotected sexual encounters with anyone. They do not value anyone no matter how kind, giving, and good you are to them. Every relationship they have or had they destroy.
    Like Pig Pen from Charlie Brown a dark cloud follows them everywhere. They will blatantly lie to you and gaslight you once you dig up their lifestyle with such a straight face and conviction that you begin to question your sanity. You may hear horrible truths about them from others, but never in your wildest dreams will you think these are the same two people. Believe it, they are! You may even get lucky and spot one of their naked photos on the web or even have one or of their victim’s contact you and when you compare notes you then know that you have encountered the most evil soul ever. Scratch that, they are soulless. Don’t doubt yourself anymore this is who they truly are!
    Grumpy Old Men
    Narcissist worsen with age. They age prematurely. They become more bitter and angry. They perceive everything as an attack to their ego. The rage at the slightest suggestion to become a better kinder human being. They are those old folks who yell at you for stepping on their lawn, taking their parking spot even though they didn’t pay for it and don’t own it. They are mean! They are followed by debt collectors, they own nothing. Their homes go into foreclosure. They work at meaningless jobs out of boredom and to get away from home to continue doing their evil deeds. They have several marriages because at the end everyone leaves them. What they fear most, abandonment, they set up for themselves. The Extreme Victimize narcissist will blame the world for all of their misfortunes. Don’t be fooled. They have burned everyone, including those they profess to love, (Gag!).
    Karma
    Eventually life catches up with them. This is their karma. VEMs fail over and over, because they do not plan for the future. They only live in the present. They do not have a sense of time. They love no one. Eventually they lose those who were good to them. Those that once loved them no longer care if they are found on the side of the road dead as a door nail. Unfortunate, but true. What they reap is what they sow! So for those who have been in this hell hole of a relationship, it’s important to understand that you have been abused, gas lighted, manipulated and used by a con artist who lacks human decency and respect. You were used for their own entertainment and to gain supply. Mark my words, karma gets them all the time. I have seen it over and over.
    Out of the Fog
    Never blame yourself. It wasn’t you! Leave this person behind and no matter what never try to help them again. This person is disordered and broken. This is why they act this way. They hate the world as much as they hate themselves. They don’t build relationships. They collect people to use and abuse at their leisure. Close all communication with them, block their number, block their emails and never ever look back. You will notice that you are so much happier. Your health will restore to normal. You are no longer on edge. Go lead the beautiful life that God intended you to lead. You are no one’s to use and abuse. You can do bad all by yourself. Also, never allow them back into your life. They’ll never change. They never valued you for your goodness, for your kindness for your love.
    Most importantly, it is not you who is not worthy. It is the VEM who is not worthy of you! You are real, you are human and have empathy. Put all your love towards someone who truly loves you. This is the person worthy of your love, compassion and kindness. You made a mistake of letting someone so cruel and callous into your beautiful world. However, never allow this mistake to define you. They are now someone else’s mistake. Thank your lucky stars for this. There are billions of people in this world. Therefore, there is a vast number of people who will love you for you and not for what they can use you for. Most importantly, they are not disordered. You are now out of the fog! Peace and love to all those who have encountered such evil!

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    1. He wasn’t unkempt (always clean, clean clothes) but his teeth were black and stubs due to drugs, soda, chain smoking, who knows what else. He would keep his lips shut – not smile with teeth showing. Not to mention he has some serious diseases. This writer described him to a “T”. He was strong, very sexy, an amazing lover, a great body but his choices were taking a toll. It does catch up.

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  9. E.B.
    Based on your writings it doesn’t appear that would qualify under any of the classes, Cadre, schools or other levels of a narcissist or sociopath.

    Unless you are highly aware and a elite/greater. Did your name change from B.E. to E.B? Heck, most of us likely have some of disorder. Who wouldn’t the world has turned into a hell hole. We have become numb to death, violence, integrity , love, empathy, and void of any emotions.

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    1. @ Entertainment
      Thank you, Entertainment. It is very thoughtful of you. Some authors say that all family scapegoats develop a Cluster B disorder (“All-Or-Nothing” thinking). This is not always true. Some SGs do but others don’t. I do not consider myself to be narcissistic.

      No, I haven’t changed my pseudonym since I started commenting on this blog and did not know there was someone with a similar nickname before. The novel Wuthering Heights was mentioned in one of these posts and Emily Brontë (E. B.) came to my mind. But if people mistake me for somebody else, please let me know and I will change it.

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  10. This was a depressing read for me :

    I could have compiled this list as my very own top 10 desires and they’re not “initial” desires they’re ongoing … am I Alice ? Am I the queen of hearts ? Am I the same as him ? I fell down the rabbit hole that’s all I know for sure.

    Don’t we all look for happiness externally even though we know without a doubt people are not medicine ? Don’t we all take our moodiness and disappointment out on those closest to us even though we know this is unfair and wrong ? Doesn’t the shine tarnish soon enough from our knight in shining armour as well?

    I wonder if that isn’t part of it that they sense that we’re noticing the cracks in the armour… so he’ll start the devalue. I know that’s where it begins for me as he’s found out I’m not as smart as pretty as popular as good enough…and the self doubt creeps in. So you flip that shit upside down he’s not all that smart, or monied, he cheated, he’s not good enough etc. blah blah

    I know narcissistic individuals take it to a whole extreme level but … they say if you line up your exes all in a row and take a good look … therein lies your mental illness.

    Wish I could learn this lesson and move the f on and let it go.

    And stop painting the roses 🌹 red ! Off with their heads ..his or mine ?

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  11. 1, 2, 3, 7 and 10…………..oh if finally felt so good to file for divorce and drive him to the airport so he could fly away to meet his new 1, 2, 3, 7 and 10……….it lasted less than a year for them. oh well………….not my circus and not my monkeys anymore!

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