The Narcissistic Truths – No. 157

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17 thoughts on “The Narcissistic Truths – No. 157”

  1. Ahahah that’s great as it is crazy! I think that nobody loves criticism but we accept that someone can have a different point of view from us and ON us. Sometime some criticism are really unlikely for me but anyway i can reject it if I think different or if i live it as unfair but I don’t reject the whole person that told the criticism.

  2. My narc needs protecting but I can’t. How I wish he’d let me continue protecting. He devalued the wrong person

  3. They are so selfish and disctuctive to not only their lives but those who are around them and especially those who love them. Its sick i wasted 15 yrs of my life with one of them we have a beautiful sweet loving daughter who doesnt deserve the type of father she has. They are just sick people who care for nothing but themselves. Its funny cause my ex the other day said i do nothing but critisize and i dont even know i am doing it! Hello its because i amnot critisizing!

  4. As long as your kind have an inappropriate sense of entitlement, consider themselves to be above others and better than anybody else, you will never be able to have any kind of relationship without feeling criticised. This will happen sooner or later, but it will happen.

    Understanding that other people have rights as well and that they deserve respect too, will lead to healthy relationships. Your kind will not feel criticised, ashamed, rejected or hurt (when others did not mean to hurt you with their actions) and you will not have feelings of envy anymore.

    1. Why not turn the perception of criticism on its head? It’s an opportunity to learn something to do better next time.

      Of course, a narc might take a manipulative or devious slant on that- by taking actions that were criticised further under ground, hiding more, lying more, or dismissing or avoiding, or deflecting or blameshifting. But these things cannot be got away with forever.

      Instead, embrace criticism with the mindset of self-improvement, becoming more successful.

      Whether the criticism is unwarranted or not, you can also use it as an opportunity for greater openness in close relationships. Discuss the criticism. Don’t be afraid of criticism.

      The only way to stay successful and at the top of your game is to accept and embrace your shortcomings, and work on them. Anything else can’t be sustained long-term.

      1. Sunshine,
        There are different approaches to deal with criticism. People with a narcissist disorder have feelings of superiority and omnipotence and a sense of entitlement. When they are not treated as if were above others, they feel automatically criticized. Criticism hurt them and their fury is ignited.

  5. Every word out of my mouth seems to be a criticism. How do you word things so they aren’t? “No, I don’t want any spinach, but I probably should being as you eat it and look how young you look.”? Now I’m laughing because that would be exactly how he would want me to respond to his offer of spinach. And I’m sort of crying because that’s probably how I should respond, like a teenager with her first crush. Why is it so hard for me to do that? Because he wants me to act that way so badly? OMG, my head is spinning. It’s like I’m acting like his mother and withholding the affection and approval he needs so much. Why can’t I????

  6. Criticism….. Could it be that your kind – maybe in an subconscious level- like their shame which they’ve been feeding inside them to be triggered so that they can easily pour the rage? A justification of their actions (to themselves of course… who are we to deserve a justification? 🙂

    Sometimes narc’s inconsistencies and insecurities are so obvious…. Visible….Even for a prey who is truly and deeply in love with them.
    Yes we see it….I’ve seen it…. But accepted and gave the chance to correct it. Even helped and supported to correct. (Like an ideal mom would do to her children.) Because the unconditional love and compassion I felt for him.

    Deep down a narc is seeking compassion which is not given them when they most needed it…. Whenever you find unconditional love you destroy it. Because you needed this long long years ago, isn’t it? Not now!
    A continuous seek and murder of love, compassion and acceptance…
    You want to make somebody pay for all this suffering. But why don’t you make the person who caused you all this suffering pay?

    My ex had a distant but nice relationship with his mother although I’ve heard him saying, many times he didn’t love, infact he didn’t feel anything for her. But still (why?) maintaining the good relationship… Could it be a hope that she would correct it sometime?

    Is it REVENGE?
    How does the fuel you get from revenge taste?

    Rgds,

    1. Perhaps the other way around, Love. That’s what criticism feels like to a narc.

      They have very, very fragile egos. They cannot take criticism, because it disrupts their facade of how they think about themselves.

      They are perfect. They are also hyper-sensitive to any slight.

  7. I know that from your perspective you feel the criticism but that’s the last thing I would ever do to anyone.
    I wish I could take away that feeling that you carry with you.

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