You Were Warned

 

you-were-warned

 

“You know you really shouldn’t get involved with me you know, I am damaged.”

“Well, it is a little bit late for that isn’t it? I am already involved.”

“I know and I am glad to hear you tell me that, really I am, because I want you more than anything. I have not wanted anybody else in the way I want you but it is because of that I think you would be better off without me.”

“Don’t be silly, what do you mean by that?”

“You are so wonderful, so perfect. I truly have not met anyone like you. It is as if everything I have ever wanted and needed in somebody has been put together and rolled into one.”

“That is lovely of you to say, but I am not perfect, far from it.”

“To me you are.”

“Bless you, that is so sweet. I think you are wonderful too, not at all damaged. I cannot believe you said that.”

“Well I am.”

“Not from where I am sitting. You are incredible. Thoughtful, loving, attentive, interesting, sensual and so passionate. Those are just a few of the things that spring to mind when I think about you.”

“What else?”

“Oh let me see. Generous, yes generous and kind, considerate and successful. Entertaining as well. I don’t think I know anybody who can light up a room like you do. I love to watch you when you have everyone’s attention, I can see how much they love to listen to you.”

“Oh you are just saying those things to make me feel better.”

“No not at all, I mean every word, I really do. I have not met anyone as special as you and that is why I love you as I do.”

“You shouldn’t, I don’t mean to be rude, but you will only get hurt.”

“How? By you?”

“Yes.”

“How?”

“I don’t know; I just always seem to mess things up. It may sound strange but somehow I want to think, I mean, I kind of know it should work with you, with you more than anybody else, I suppose I am just terrified that what we have is so wonderful, so perfect that I might do something to ruin it and then you would be hurt and I could not stand for that to happen.”

“You see, there you are again, considerate and kind.”

“I could not live with myself if I hurt you and I just do not want to run that risk of that happening. You do not deserve to be hurt.”

“That won’t happen, I can feel it. What you and I have is something out of the ordinary.”

“Yes we have haven’t we?”

“Absolutely. I love you and you love me and nobody is going to change that.”

“I know, I know, but what if, you know I do something?”

“Like what?”

“I don’t know, it is just that well, previous relationships have not exactly been successful have they? My track record is not great.”

“No but that wasn’t your fault was it? Look, you told me all about what has happened in the past. Not many men would be so honest as you to admit to what you have gone through. That takes real courage and is typical of the honesty and decency you exude. You are a good man and you have been treated abhorrently by some wicked people. Oooh, if I ever met them, I don’t know what I would do.”

“I knew you would understand. You always do. You get me. They never did you see. I tried you know. I always tried to make it work. I just wanted both of us to be happy but you know when whatever you do is not enough? When no matter how hard you try to please somebody but they always find some kind of fault? That was them. They made me feel like it was my fault a lot of the time. They had that way of twisting everything around so I was made out to be the villain. It is hard to explain it, but that is what they did.”

“I understand. There are some people who just delight in the misery of other people but that is not going to happen with you and me.”

“No?”

“No. We have both suffered previously.”

“I know. That is why I do not want to hurt you, you have had enough from the past and you deserve to be treated properly.”

“Well that is what you do. I could not ask for a better boyfriend, I really could not. You put me first, ahead of everything and you do so much for me. I really do appreciate it and each day I feel more in love with you because of what you do for me.”

“Thank you. That is all I want. Both of us to be happy. I think it must just be because of what has happened in the past, I am worried that this time, having found you, it will go wrong again and you will be hurt and I could not live with that.”

“Honestly, there is nothing to worry about. You have just been made to feel like this because of what they have done to you. It is understandable. I know you won’t hurt me. How could anyone who says the things you say to me ever hurt me? I have never had someone say the wonderful and beautiful things you say to me before. You leave me in tears. Tears of happiness admittedly because you just know what to say, you understand me.”

“Yes. There is a connection and it is deep and meaningful and I do not want that ever to be severed. I will fight to my dying breath to stay connected to you. I want to become you.”

“See, there you go again, saying the most wonderful things.”

“You bring it out in me. If it wasn’t for you I don’t know what I would do.”

“Well you don’t have to wonder do you? You’ve got me and you always will have.”

“Do you mean that?”

“Absolutely.”

“You see I am really in heaven every time we kiss. I don’t ever want to hurt you or lose you.”

“That will never happen. You have me forever.”

“I hope so, I really do.”

“You do. Now, let’s not have any more talk about you hurting me, that isn’t going to happen. We have the rest of our lives to be together and be happy. Let me get another bottle of wine, no, it is my turn, you stay there. You do enough running around after me, let me do something for you for a change.”

“Okay, same again please.”

“Coming right up. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

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31 thoughts on “You Were Warned”

  1. My narc told me he never wanted to hurt me….never wanted to break my heart.
    That, he did and enjoyed every minute of it.

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      1. Alexis2015s

        Absolutely.
        And after the devaluation and the sudden end to heaven and the start of hell on earth, here he goes again when, perhaps, decided to get us out from gutter which he has thrown us. Here the best lines i hear now:
        I could never hurt you
        I want to die for the way i have hurt you
        I will rectify everything
        I want you
        I want to spend the rest of my life with you
        You are the love of my life
        You are my miracle Angel
        You brought life to my world
        I could never have another woman
        I am crying again
        I need you
        We are meant to be together
        We complete each other
        I rather die then to be without you
        Etc… Etc… Etc…

        I am hearing this every single day now. After 5 years of heaven.. suddenly the devaluation started with hell on earth for the last 2 years..
        and now suddenly( because i am staying away, because it hurts too much) all this hoovering and love bombing is driving me insane.
        What is happening H G ?
        Has he discarded the latest and desperately wants me back as his primary source again?

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  2. HG..love that picture. Did you pluck that out of the emotional sea?
    Did you net it out of your sea monkey collection(the flying monkey precursor)? Maybe you were slumming and got it at Walmart? Or did you spear it and taking it to your personal chef? One more…perhaps it was a prize photo from the catch and release competition?

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  3. Ugh mine would say:
    “I felt dead inside before you”
    “I process emotions differently”
    “There are things about my life you can’t understand”
    “I make up stories in my head”
    “You will inevitably leave me”
    “I have abandonment issues”
    “I’m very rational, but also a great liar”
    “I’m going through core fundamental changes right now”

    So many signs I ignored. Does anyone else feel like their Narc had child-like tendancies? Mine would skateboard around town catching Pokémon on his phone at almost 30. Lol it’s kind of comedic in hindsight, how out of touch with reality they can be…

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    1. Oh that made me laugh soooo much !! Chasing Pokemon at 30!

      Yes I’ve observed that many of them just don’t grow up and are really big I mean really big on superheroes ??

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  4. He said,
    “I am broken”;
    “I don’t think I am the great person you are making me out to be”;
    “I am afraid I will not meet your expectations”;
    “I am not used to being in relationships”;
    “You deserve better”;
    “I am a broken man”;
    “I knew you were the one for me when you said you’d always love me, no matter how broken I was”.

    Yes, I should have heeded his warnings above ^^^.

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  5. Someone hand me a trash can so I can barf! Ahhhh I related to this little piece of putty in his hands, too. Got intoxicated in all those sweet nothings which was poison in disguise. “You would be hurt and I could not stand for that to happen.” Reverse psychology at its finest!

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  6. HG, how does a narcissist write beautiful and spiritual lyrics and the music to go with them, and then perform the song to an audience with tears in his eyes? The rest of the time, his eyes seem dull
    and lifeless except when he wears colored contacts to add brilliance. I keep hoping I am wrong, but I don’t think I am. His music is very addicting and the way he performs it with flowing gestures like a master. I could never expose him because so many fans are touched by the music. I’ve seen him up close and I wish I had not. Wrong or not, I just preordered a new CD coming out next month. I know it will be brilliant but I am more curious than looking forward to it with my usual ecstacy. Poor me … Why did I have to find out how he really is?

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    1. One does not have to experience emotions to be able to write about them. Intelligence allows the observation and mimicry of such feelings to occur.

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  7. When I said I have seen him up close, I meant I’ve seen how he really is because I’ve known him for seven years and have been a type of victim because he told me we had a special connection he didn’t have with other fans.
    I’ve seen his light blue eyes go dark and he lies all the time.

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    1. OMG thank you for saying that! The day I saw those blue eyes turn completely BLACK, I knew without a doubt what I was looking at. Pure evil.

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  8. HG
    My comment above hasn’ t be moderated yet.
    actually if you post it or not it doesn’t matter.
    However i would love to hear your imput following my previuos ones a few weeks ago when i told you a bit about me and my Narc.
    ( He being much much younger than myself)

    I said that i was staying away, and i am. ( well up to a point)
    but he always find a way to come to my town and see, and he send messages etc..
    as i said before he looks very desperate to win me completely back.
    He is promising me to rectify everything and be with me because
    ” i am the love of his life” etc..

    As i’ ve told you before we know each other for 10 years ..( never lived together but being together a lot)
    in early 2015 he devaluated me and was put on a ” shelf”.. and that hell is going on for the last 2 years.
    Keeping me yes, but very infrequently, and always mistreating me.. until a few months ago when i said ” enough” , although
    i keep in minimum touch..
    he is going on the attack with dozens and dozenz of love messages and promises..
    it is tempting for me to believe that perhaps this time he has seen the light?
    I have no clue of what is going on because of my high hopes..

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      1. Thank you HG
        it is obvious that i am not all together mentally at this stage..
        i would love to do that
        how?

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  9. I know you have said a lot in your writings, but i still appreciate your personal answers.
    Of course i should know better, as i am the one in the thick of this endless vortex.. but please tell me something ..
    not that will change drastically anything, i know..
    but hey.. i also need my kind of fuel!!

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  10. HG
    i feel like i havecbeenn hidden from your blog, as i cannot see the comments from other people.. neitger mine because i don’t know uf you are ignoring them or what…
    i am sure thatvyou can see my questions to you.
    Do you know why?
    i am even thinking that my Narc possibly could have contacted you? Because i told him that i know who he is .. and told him about you.
    Of course that i would expect that you would be sympathetic to him???
    I know that asking you a Narcissist to tell me honestly.. is like hoping that an hungry angry bear will not sniff me nor eat me…
    However i am a true trusting soul at my core.
    So.. could you tell me what’ s happening.. if something IS happening.
    I know that you understand my paranoia after all… 10 years being with one of your kind itb hasn’ t been so straightforwardly sane.
    Sob…

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    1. 1. Yes I can see your questions.
      2. Why? Because they are written in your comment.
      3. Your narc has not contacted me.
      4. Why would I be sympathetic to him? I am loyal to myself only.
      5. I always answer honestly.
      6. You could not see your comments or anybody else’s as no comments have been posted for several days.

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  11. HG
    i feel like i have been hidden from your blog, as i cannot see the comments from other people.. neither mine because i don’t know if you are ignoring them or what…
    i am sure that you can see my questions to you.
    Do you know why?
    i am even thinking that my Narc possibly could have contacted you? Because i told him that i know who he is .. and told him about you.
    Of course that i would expect that you would be sympathetic to him???
    I know that asking you a Narcissist to tell me honestly.. is like hoping that an hungry angry bear will not sniff me nor eat me…
    However i am a true trusting soul at my core.
    So.. could you tell me what’ s happening.. if something IS happening.
    I know that you understand my paranoia after all… 10 years being with one of your kind itb hasn’ t been so straightforwardly sane.
    Sob…

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