One More Chance

 

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What harm could it do to give us one more chance? Like the gambler placing another bet in the hope of winning big, there is everything to gain and not much more to lose really is there? You are down amongst the dead so what could possibly go wrong? Besides, imagine if you did not do so? Imagine that you pass up this opportunity and somebody else takes it? Somebody else benefits from all of your work and they get it right. They do and say the right things so they enjoy the joy of the golden period but this time it lasts forever. It would be like allowing someone ahead of you in the queue and they buy a winning lottery scratchcard from the selection you had your eye on. So near, yet oh so far. Imagine the crushing dejection of knowing that you had it in your grasp but you failed to fllow through and seize the moment. How could you live with yourself thereafter if you failed to act on this glorious chance?

You don’t want to let anybody else gain the advantage do you? Not after everything you have done to steady the ship, to keep things afloat and to steer a sensible course through hazardous waters. You are owed that chance. You are entitled to that magnificent outcome and here it is being offered to you. All you have to do is take hold of it and give us another chance to make things right. Yes, it has failed in the past but did Robert the Bruce give up in his attempts to defeat the English? No he did not, he kept on going didn’t he and I know, I just know that you are made of similar stuff. You have that indefatigable spirit, that is why I hcose you. I knew you would not give up. Too many people let me down, but not you. You aren’t going to do that are you? You have your eyes on the prize. You could not live with yourself if you knew you had given up the chance for us to return to our golden period once again.

I know some people say that past behaviour is the greatest indicator of future behaviour but they are just bitter because they lacked the capacity and the ability to make a change. They wanted to make a difference but they didn’t have the goods. They didn’t have the gumption, the wherewithal, the necessary to do the job. You have. I can tell. I know these things and if you just believe in me this one time then everything will be different. Just one chance. That is all that I am asking for. It isn’t much, not after everything we have been through.

You aren’t going to throw away everything that we have built up are you? I surely do not think that you will do such a thing. You are not like that. You believe in us and you are the one who holds the key to a magical future. Just place the key in the lock, turn it and open the door to me. I will be there waiting. I have all the time in the world. I am not going to go anywhere soon if I know that you are going to continue to believe in me, but if you are going to give up, even though I don’t think you will, well, there are plenty who will take your place. No, I haven’t got anybody lined up, I am not saying that. I am just pointing out that someone as special as me, well, there are people who would be interested, that is all that I am saying. But let’s not talk about them. That is just something which might happen if you make the wrong decision. Not that you will. You are good at making decisions. I know that. You chose to be with me. Oh I know I made it seem like that I came after you but let’s not delude ourselves here, you are the one who made the decision. After all, you are in control of your own destiny aren’t you? I just offered myself to you, you had to make the decision to make that step towards me and you did and do you know why? Because you know. You know that we belong together. You know how we feel about one another. Yes, I know there are difficult times, but that is just what life throws at us but you and I, well, we are better than that aren’t we? I am not trying to influence you because I have ultimate faith in you to do the right thing. You know your own mind. All I am doing is asking yourself whether it is worth throwing away all that we have, all that we can have, just because you will not give me another chance?

I know you are someone who believes in the power of love. I do too. Love is all that we need and what you and I have, well, nobody else really understands it do they? I know what people say about me and you being together, but it is all jealousy. Are you going to let the outrageous comments of others deny you your happiness? I would not think that for a moment you would conceivable allow that to happen. You are your own person. I have always respected that. I gave you what you needed. I know at times I might be a hard task master but I did it for us because it is only when you are truly and sorely tested that you can tell that it is love. Anybody can love like the books and the films. Anybody can be on top of their game when they have no worries and no concers. A real test of a relationship is when the chips are down, when your backs are against the wall when it is against all odds. It is when somebody else interferes, wants what you have and you have to fight for what you want. You have. I have seen the fire and the determination in your eyes because I know you want me. You want us to be together. We have been tested, repeatedly, but have we not come through it? Have we not come out on the other side and we are better for it? Our love has become stronger because we have been tested and we survived that test. Are you going to let all of that go to waste just because I say some things in the heat of the moment? That is passion for you, you bring it out in me, I cannot help it that you cause these emotions to erupt from me. Would you rather me be a cold and heartless shell? Of course you would not. I am what I am and I am a cauldron which you manage to stir because that is how you and I are. Other people hurl their opinions around, I know they do, I am not stupid, I know what they say, but they do not understand you and me. They do not have what we have and they are misguided at best and jealous at worst.

So, give me another chance. It is easy and we have so, so much to look forward. There is nothing really more you can lose is there by trying again, but if you don’t you will always wonder, “what if?” and it will drive you demented not knowing what might have been if you had trusted your instinct and allowed me back.

Let’s do it. Let’s create our wonderful world again. Just you and me.

Just say yes.

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28 thoughts on “One More Chance”

  1. Jan, I believed in a God of miracles, a God of repentance, a God of second chances. Reminds me of Esther, Haman: God’s timing & will is all important. Let Haman(John) build the scaffold for me but let John swing by a noose of his own making.

    Also reminds me of Pharaoh’s hard hart. God let time for the hard hart to be revealed.

    I love & appreciate you, xxxoooxxx Momomomomo

    Sent from my iPhone

    >

    Liked by 1 person

    1. This comment was in my email but isn’t here wtf ? HG address this please ? “You might want to go see what they’re up to! Perhaps you will like their blog as much as they liked your comment”

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      1. LMMFAO !! The comment in parentheses above was attached to my comment above when I received in my email without any commenters name but it does not appear here on your page . I find that strange & yes I’m a bit paranoid I’m being stalked by a very dangerous man.

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      1. I don’t remain quiet. Because he tells me to remain quiet. So that always caused the opposite that he intended. Sort of works. The only way to really resist the control he always wanted to impose. I will shut up one day. Given that I know he was bothered a teen age girlfriend did not want to friend him on FB, 35 years later, when I go quiet at last, he is going to feel it I think and hope. It will make my own escape even more powerful. If a leopard can’t change it’s spots…. it will bug him.

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      2. Although loath to praise one of your kind. Thank you for this blog, it provides many a lightbulb moment. I discover that I am an IPSS (currently discarded or is that disengaged for the best part of a year.) and that due to this blog I no longer need him to provide answers. I raise a glass to you HG.

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  2. Its ok. He has so many things confused about me anyway. I don’t mind giving him chances. Because while I do so, I am scraping away any connections I have to him that might remain. Its my own way to purge him. Maybe it’s dysfunctional. But its also one way some of us can reverse idealize you all so that once we do let go, it is for good. That’s how I work.

    I had a narc once reject every effort I made to get him to be a decent human being. Put way too much in to it, absolutely. And I slowly grew away from the efforts. And eventually, locked him away in the past. So one day, 2 years later, after even finding out he had married, he emails me. Wants to go have coffee and chat. He wants to apologize. And though my heart raced, I was able to go no thanks. I don’t need it anymore. He was really angry, started to tell me I had done things to him (well, only minor things that were revenge driven). But I never ever touched him emotionally or hurt him as a human being, hurt his soul. I was done. I purged him for good. He is divorced now…

    So sometimes, our one more chance is a way to test that there is nothing to salvage for sure anymore. And then, we get away. Some do, not all of us, but that’s my reasons for it. I become entirely sure that I gave it my all and that’s that.

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  3. Well, I know it is about a relationship between man and woman but it sounds as if my mother is talking. I am still her primary source after the death of my father. How surprised she was when I said there is no more chance. She tries to deny that. She wants hugs, kisses, helping hands and so on… No, that`s over. I care for her health, I care for her financial things, I care for her food. That is all and it is enough. Now she has to take the bus to visit the doctor, now she has to take a taxi when she wants to visit someone, now she has to take someone else for complaining about her loneliness.The loneliness is her own disaster. If you treat people, as if they are inferior and you get older, no one wants to have contact to you anymore. The loneliness is the prize you have to pay for your behaviour. I only do the normal things that any other child would do. It is over, although she does not want to believe it. I do not tell her anything about me anymore, she all used it in the past to berate me. Very often she comes and holds a monologue. I only answer with yes or no. Nothing more. What a bad relationship! She changes a little bit now, she knows I am the only one who cares for her. She learns to say “Thank you.” She learns to say: “I apologize.” It is all too late! She thought, I would love her forever, no, there is a limit of love, even for the love of a child to his mother. I only do the things which are necessary to survive.What a prize to pay for her. It is an artificial relationship. She lives in her fantasy. And I know, you will judge me for that, I will be happy, if she has gone. Cruel, but honest.
    .

    Liked by 2 people

    1. My mother never apologized. She did something really, really awful and it took 35 years to only scrawl on a tiny piece of paper “it was unconscionable”

      THAT was her sorry. No “I” in there. No sorry. The action was unconscionable. But not sorry?

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  4. One more chance for us, means I need to fix and to work and to prove while you tell me I’m not doing a good enough job to keep your emotions in check. Nah… I’m good

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  5. “You aren’t going to throw away everything that we have built up are you? ”
    I never did that, and i have not need to.
    You did, and you do that all the time.
    While i was buiding it up again and again and again.. you were throwing it away again and again and again..
    Game is over.
    The most important pieces are lost, and the one left are worned down.
    Que sera’ sera’..
    Ohhhhh… but I am so, so, so curious.
    I am the only one that could play knowing i could win but i let you win.. always.
    Of course you want me back.
    It is true this that you are saying to me:
    ” you are perfect in any way”.
    That is the only truth you speak .
    Thank you.

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    1. Its a true quote, but where does forgiveness, our humanity and our mistakes figure in to that? Is it a true statement or is it nore true depending on the depth of hurt?

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  6. Mine didn’t want one more chance. I came to my home to make it known he was “never going to fall” for me again. Was quite bizarre

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  7. Loll and this was exactly how I felt every time I’d escape and he’d offer up some lame apology! Then finally I woke up and realized it isn’t my job to keep giving chances it was His job to make the best of the one he was given, damnit!

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  8. Oh yes, I know my love, it’s all my fault. I didn’t gave you enough, that’s the reason why you needed all those other woman besides me. I had a good career and reputation so it’s my fault you needed to lie about your whole work life. Love can heal everything right? Just one more chance and everything will be different.

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  9. Rereading this because it’s difficult not to want to believe this when they’re up in your face with how well they’re doing, how many languages they know, how many projects they’ve got lined up or are working on (never mind the local project they completely destroyed and cut ties to just last week, that’s all in the past) this is their better brighter future and they dangle the primary supply out there and tell you everything about them and how it’s going to be different this time because they’re taking it slow and they’ve changed and they are bettering themselves.

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