The Empathic Supernova

the-empathicsupernova

What is the Empathic Supernova?

In order to detail this phenomenon, it is first necessary to consider when it might appear and what is behind its appearance.

The repeated application of our manipulations is deployed for the purposes of maintaining control over you. This control reinforces our notion of superiority,  omnipotence and impregnability and enables us to draw fuel from our appliances and most of all you as our primary source.

I have made mention of the Empathic Group, the group which lies to the left of the empathic-narcissistic spectrum and within this group there are three schools of the empathic individual; the Co-Dependent, the Super Empath and the Empath.

The sustained application of the many and varied manipulations produces results for us. It also takes its toll on our victims. The Co-Dependent will cling on, desperate for the self-definition which manifests as a consequence of their ensnarement with us. They will soak up the abuse, the confusion and the control until they reach a point of breakdown. The cumulative effect of the silent treatments, the gas lighting, the physical abuse, the psychological trauma, financial mistreatment and sexual degradation eventually causes the limpet-like Co-Dependent to collapse into numbness, malfunction and potential hospitalisation. They gave and gave until suddenly they fell off the cliff and their fuel provision remained impressive on Monday and by Tuesday it had stopped. No longer capable of pumping out fuel, attending to our requirements and showering us with appropriate traits and residual benefits, this failure to function invariably brings about the discard of this individual. The discarded Co-Dependent, although distraught at the loss of the narcissist which they crave, is in no position to try to bring about the resumption of the relationship and thus, whilst we focus on their replacement primary source, they are allowed a period by which they can recover and once the lights switch back on again and the fuel starts to pump, the devaluation of their replacement has begun, so we come looking and hoovering for the Co-Dependent. Unable to resist, because of the nature of the hoovering and their own vulnerability, they are hoovered back in and the narcissistic cycle continues.

Whilst third parties may try to assist the Co-Dependent to see and understand what has happened to them, their own substantial need to connect with a narcissist means it is very hard to make them take notice and stay away from us. Unless physically removed and isolated, the Co-Dependent will drift back to us. If not the original narcissist, a replacement narcissist will invariably be found.

The empathic-narcissistic spectrum is a sliding scale that represents both empathic and narcissistic traits. On the far left the empathic traits are more numerous and stronger whilst the narcissistic traits are fewer and weaker. Move to the right and the empathic traits begin to lessen in number, their effects less evident and the narcissistic traits begin to increase and become more prevalent. Eventually, as one reaches the Narcissistic Group, on the right of this spectrum, the empathic traits have disappeared and all that remain are narcissistic traits which become more numerous and stronger the further right one goes within this Narcissistic Group.

Accordingly, with the Co-Dependent, he or she will have many empathic traits and they are strong in nature. Their devotion to love, their honesty, decency, excellent listening skills, positivity etc are most evident and contribute to create a highly empathic individual. The narcissistic traits are almost invisible and the few that exist are weak. Accordingly, this prevalence of empathic traits attracts and is attracted to the prevalence of extensive and strong narcissistic traits. They locked together, complementing one another and consequently the Co-Dependent is inexorably drawn to those within the Narcissistic Group, with next to nothing in terms of their own narcissistic traits to act as some kind of repellant.

The Empath may also find themselves shutting down, but more usually they are prevented from reaching a position of complete numbing though the intervention of a third party. Sure enough the toll exacted on the Empath is considerable and has damaging consequences, but, in general, they manage to avoid more often the fate of the Co-Dependent. Instead, rather than giving and giving until shut down occurs (as is the case with the Co-Dependent) the Empath’s performance deteriorates in terms of fuel output in a more gradual fashion which means that when it dips below a threshold of acceptability for our kind, the Empath is also discarded. Not so damaged as to be unable to function, the Empath will endeavour to re-connect with our kind, having sufficient energy and ability to do so, but they will be shunned as part of this discard until it is time to hoover them. Unaware of what they have been ensnared by and with capabilities improved after a period of respite arising from the discard, the Empath is sucked back in by the narcissist and thus the narcissistic cycle continues.

The Empath however may also realise that something is wrong, or assisted by third parties and more amenable to listening, takes notice of what these third parties are telling him or her. They have a moment of ‘awakening’ and with that realise that they must remain away from our grip, however hurtful and hard it may be and thus they eventually escape, putting distance between them and our kind.

The Empath has numerous empathic traits and they are of strength but they are not on the same scale as the Co-Dependent. The Empath will have some narcissistic traits, not many and not especially strong in nature, but they will have more narcissistic traits than the Co-Dependent. Their status as an Empath (along with the fact that there are more Empaths than Co-Dependents) means that Empaths become the bread and butter target for our kind. They too are attracted to us, not with the almost hopeless vulnerability of the Co-Dependent, but they remain not only attracted to our kind but a target.

Finally, there is the Super Empath. The Super Empath is an excellent provider of fuel also and comes with a confidence and a fieriness which proves most tempting to our kind. The Super Empath sees his or her role as helping, fixing, healing and brining goodness to those around them. They have considerable energy, they are capable and their capacity for sustaining our abuses also makes them a considerably attractive prospect. The Co-Dependent can sustain considerable abuse until suddenly, like a light being extinguished, that is it. The Empath also can sustain our manipulations but their slide is slower and more gradual. The Super Empath, blessed with a vast capacity for empathy and goodness is also somebody who can sustain a lengthy campaign of abuse. There is no slide downwards with this individual like the Empath. There is no sudden collapse like the Co-Dependent. Instead the Super Empath goes in to Supernova mode.

The trait make-up of the Super Empath is different from their cousins in the Empathic Group. Whereas the Co-Dependent has strong and many empathic traits with little and low narcissistic traits and the Empath has few and fairly low narcissistic traits but more and quite strong empathic traits, the Super Empath has a different constitution.

The Super Empath has very strong and numerous empathic traits. He or she also has a number of narcissistic traits (more than the Co-Dependent and the Empath but not as many as the Narcissistic Group) and they are stronger in nature than those experienced by the Co-Dependent and the Empath.

This arrangement is not problematic. Liken the Super Empath’s narcissistic make-up to the light from a candle and their empathic make-up the light from a spotlight. The intensity of the spotlight is so bright that the candle light is barely noticed. Accordingly, the narcissistic element to the Super Empath does not appear. The Super Empath behaves in an empathic way and thus is a target for our kind.

There comes a time however when the sustained abuse and the awareness of the Super Empath reaches a critical point. Rather than switch off or slide into decline, the Super Empath will decide that enough is enough. In some instances, this means that the Super Empath will escape and follow a similar route to that of the Empath and distance themselves from the narcissist.

On other occasions they enter into Supernova mode. When this happens, the Super Empath will dim their empathic traits. This can only be dimming. The empathic traits cannot be shut off as they are wired into the empath’s dna. Moreover, this dimming can only continue for a period of time and is not permanent. The naturally strong empathic nature of the Super Empath means that it will blaze bright again.

However, when this dimming takes places, the gap between empathy and narcissism in the Super Empath lessens so that the narcissistic traits are more prevalent. They do not dominate nor do they take over, but they are allowed to ‘shine’. However, whereas in our kind the application of our narcissistic traits is unfettered since we have no empathic traits and thus these traits are directed in a malevolent, harmful and destructive manner, the Super Empath uses these unleashed narcissistic traits for ‘good’.

This means that they will fight back against our kind and remain in the relationship with us. They will shut off the fuel provision, they will engage in manipulation of us, having learned how to effect it form their accompanying journey with out kind. The Super Empath will wound and wound, striking blow upon blow against the narcissist.  It is worth pointing out that the Super Empath does not necessarily know that they are with a narcissist (they may only realise this later) but rather they know that something is very wrong in the relationship and it must no longer continue.

Thus when some people ask the question

“Can you become a narcissist from being with a narcissist?”

or

“Can I pick up narcissistic traits from my experience of being entangled with a narcissist?”

The answer remains no.

But, if you find that you are exhibiting such traits and you are deploying them against the narcissist, what has happened is that you are allowing your inherent narcissistic traits to have greater prominence. You keep them under control and you are not allowing them to harm or hurt innocent parties, but rather you are applying them against the narcissist in order to strike back. You always had these traits, you have not gained them by being with us, but what you have learned is how to manipulate from being with us and now you are turning those manipulations against us.

The effect against us is varied.

The Lesser Narcissist will discard immediately with a display of ignited fury as he seeks to escape the turning of the tables. He will need to get away from this empowered Super Empath and find a new primary source straight away. He wants to shrink from this blazing  supernova of power which is causing him considerable difficulty through the cessation of fuel and the wounding from repeated criticism.

The Mid-Range Narcissist will find himself in a tormented loop as he tries to assert control. He will not comprehend truly what is happening. He will not want to lose the Super Empath owing to the fuel provision, but he is finding that his ability to manipulate and the reasonable degree of calculation that he has, is being sorely tested. He will try to assert his control through passive aggressive means, even pleading with the Super Empath to stop and ‘why can’t you be good to me again’? He will roll out the pity plays and sympathy cards in order to try to achieve superiority again. However,  either the Super Empath decides to escape and leaves the Mid-Ranger in a confused and bewildered state or the Mid-Ranger slinks away and discards,unable to sustain the fight and needing a new and far more compliant primary source.

The Greater Narcissist will rail against this insurrection and fight back. He will draw on fuel from alternative sources (usually the IPSS or IPSSs he has in the wings along with fuel form those NISS who are his inner and outer circle friends). He will relish the challenge shown by the Super Empath and a real battle of wills ensues as each combatant deploys manipulation after manipulation against one another. This hammer and tongs clash of the  titans sees the Super Empath applying what they have learned, similar to the apprentice turning on his or her master, as the old hand seeks to slap down the irreverent upstart. The Super Empath may withdraw and escape, satisfied that they have made their mark and scarred the Greater. The Greater may ultimately recognise that only a stalemate (for now) can ensue and breaks off, discarding the Super Empath and focusses on the acquisition of a new primary source (or more likely the promotion of an already ensnared IPSS). The Greater however will not leave matters there. A note will be made to rejoin battle in due course and bring the Super Empath to heel.

Thus the Empathic Supernova is when the Super Empath determines that enough is enough and he or she reduces their empathic traits, allowing the narcissistic traits to come to the fore and in so doing he or she trains their sights on making life difficult, miserable and awkward for the narcissist. This is why our kind proceed with caution with the Super Empath. Their capacity for sucking up the abusive devaluation and their impressive fuel provision is tempting indeed, but reaching the critical point and causing the ignition of the Empathic Supernova can have dire consequences for our kind.

Not for me of course. I relish the challenge and the assertion of hegemonic dominance. Obviously.

113 thoughts on “The Empathic Supernova

  1. NP says:

    HG Tudor, I don’t know if I am Co-dependant or Supernova Empath. Why – because in the recent past, I’ve suffered hospitalisation and breakdowns due to abuse. I seem to move from Narc to Narc, and I now realise that I am either very attracted to them, both in friendships and relantionships, or they are very attracted to me, and therefore show up in my life, like everywhere I turn, there’s a narc poking a hole in my jacket. Never a rest.

    Of course, both my parents are Narcs and I really do not understand how in a family of 5 siblings, I end up being the only one with strong empath traits. I was/am, the target, and like a well trained dog – I simply endure abuse, a very easy pushover. I somehow just freeze when abuse is taking place and let it go on.

    This has followed me to the workplace where I’ve been the target of toxic collegaues and bosses, yet I am always named a very good employee…lol. It has followed me in the church and other social pursuits where frenemies abound in large supply.

    Well, of late I’ve started fighting back and I’ve pulled some pretty fast ones on the numerous Narcs in my life. In fact, I got scared of myself and wondered ‘where did that come from? Am I a narc?’

    But, I’ve come to realise the only way to make these people discard you with no hope of ever returning to teach them a lesson that they’ll never forget, and it’s working like a charm.

    You get yourself to a safe distance, then you pull a very fast one of them they reel from the shock of it. Something they thought you could never do against them.

    Ha! They cannot believe the pushover is finally standing up and resisting abuse. No, the pushover is actually ‘malicious’ (my boss accused me of this after I got away) and can scheme up a very good plan and execute.

    Oh! So much joy.

    The narcs who were always clinging to me, are all gone. I’m starting from a new plate.

    I fired everybody from my life and now I vet anyone who wants to get into my life. You may charm me and hoodwink me, but I’ve been hoodwinked before and now I can see through it after a while.

    I simply get away from you physically and ensure no contact. You keep hoovering, I do something ( that Narcs consider) very evil against you, and then I see you slithering away like the snake that you are. Never coming back.

    Oh my! Happiness galore! Ha ha haa!

    I never realised before what was wrong with my life, always depressed, always suicidal, always around abusive people who were just using my resources and then discarding me heartlessly only to come back for more.

    Ain’t happenning again.

    A malignant narc shows up at my door…(and they do show up a lot, out of nowhere, even in church, workplace, on the streets – what am I made of really? I can’t lock myself in the house to escape them. I am much taller and slimmer than the averge person so in the past I thought my height and weight were the reason, until I learned otherwise) he or she better be ready for it coz I am gonna wound that person so bad they’ll will avoid me like the plague.

    They won’t see it coming, coz I am a very easy and submissive pushover…remember? Very polite indeed. Good church person. The best of all. Lol. But now, you don’t mess with me. My mom tried to shut that part of me down, and I think it’s coming back coz I am maintaining no contact with her).

    I think that’s why that part is ressurecting. But I do pray to God that I don’t end up a Narc. That’s my prayer, that I don’t corss the line and be deliberately evil towards someone, even a Narc. Only wound them in a manner that is okay in the eyes of God.

    I love it – I am repelling the Narcs, and it’s working.

    Never thought I could do that before. Never thought an abusive person would not stalk me, demanding friendship through various backhanded manipulations. Never thought I could confidently say no, even without uttering the words.

    Ha ha haaa! At last! Life is good!

    1. karen1303 says:

      Hi NP, I LOVE your story. You go girl!
      Just what I needed to read this morning.
      Thanks for sharing.

    2. Lisa says:

      It can be a slippery slope we walk….
      Good for you NP. Good for you!

  2. Shannon says:

    This. I’m hoping my mid-ranger will slink away and discard me so I don’t have to do it. He’s so confused right now; constantly telling me to be “happy” and not liking my attitude. I’m quietly giggling on the inside.

  3. Billie says:

    Hello Mr Tudor, I have read this article about five times, as I am a supa nova empath mother with a psychopathic ex. You mentioned in your article that the supernova has more narcissistic traits than the other two empathic types you spoke of.

    I have met many an empathic mother without the ‘Supa Nova’ attribute that continues to expose their children to the narcissistic father, and will not leave the family unit. Not because they can’t, but because they are comfortable with the narcissist, and the abuse doesn’t seem to bug them, despite the fact that their children’s psyches are being destroyed.

    This, from my point of view is an enabling empath with a huge deficit; a lack of empathy. Isn’t a lack of empathy narcissistic? Because, unlike the empath with less narcissistic traits, the supanova takes off with the kids once they realise they are dealing with a narcissist, and faces the battle of wills, and the frightening panic attacks driven by the narcissist’s frightening behaviour. The supa nova mother is often in a catatonic state during the battle of wills, spends a lot of time at the police station, half the night documenting the craziness, and can’t sleep often through fear of what the narc will do next. And they go through all of this to put an end to the chaos. More chaos for a time if they choose the battle of wills; and less later down the track. Narcissism is used as a protective force to keep the children safe. That to me is empathy in its stronger form; because the supa nova mother refuses to expose the children to further mental damage.

    So, isn’t the co-dependent empath who absolutely refuses to leave the narcissist even though he or she is abusing the children, actually thoroughly narcissistic, because they don’t care enough to get their children out before they become psychologically destroyed?

  4. superxena says:

    Hello HG!

    I thought it would be better to ask you my question here:

    According to you division of the Narcissist group in schools: Lesser,Mid Range and Greater ..there are plenty of differences between schools and cadres. But as I understand..you state that one of the main differences between the lesser schools and higher schools is : Awareness of who they are. And that there is no ” mobility” between the different schools: that is to say by instance that the Lesser will always remain a Lesser.

    What do you think about the Empath Group? Co-dependant,Empath,Super Empath.

    1. Is there a mobility within the different groups of empaths?
    2.Is the Co-dependant( for example) staying always as such? Or her lack of stronger narcissistic traits can be “overpowered “by gaining awareness? Making her/him less vulnerable to the narcissist.?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      1. No.
      2. Yes. No. No.

      1. superxena says:

        Thank you for your answer HG.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          You are welcome SX.

  5. indiglowsky says:

    Given the question posed to me by SuperXena about whether I thought I was a SuperbEmpath, I thought I would reread about Super Empath and going full “supernova”. I still am reluctant to say, as, who wouldn’t desire to be honestly? I do know this, I have dimmed my empathy for brief periods to set boundaries, show teeth/claws when wronged, and when communicating that im done. My leaving my ex midranger was exactly like this. I slayed him while he sat on his couch, hung-over from a relapse and pouting. Caught in a series of lies with nowhere to go. I had planned the leave already, read HGs Escape, Departure, and Exocism, and drew a line as to when I would do it and what conditions. I decided face to face, despite the risk. I felt the fire and almost needed the battle to release him. I also knew he had to be low on fuel when I did it. Somewhat weak. I knew a relapse would be the time. I knew one was coming, I could sense it and predicted it within a week. His patterned behavior did not fail, and I flew into supernova. After I broke up with him, I called his parents and told them I was done and there was nothing to change my mind, that he relapsed again and they need to get him help (they have considerable power over him and have forced him into detox and rehab before). His MatriNarc mother rushed to his side to make sure he was hydrated and alive (his binges were life threatening but I was no nursemaid at this point). I cut all contact, despite begging and pleading from his parents (we were engaged) and him months later. I was done.

    I have had several exes say I’m far more fierce than they ever knew, based on my appearance of being patient, tolerant and level headed with a soft fem look. The ex that passed away (nonnarc) said my looks were so deceiving (seemingly a pushover) and not to mess with me. He knew me well. I do miss him.

  6. karen1303 says:

    At last. BAM. I get it. I have searched and questioned and been confused and asked myself if I’m a narc…I am the one who fought back. I am the one who defended myself. I am the one that wounded. I am the one who gave the silent treatment. I am the one who confused, battered and broke the bastard. Wounded him deeply. Proved his intelligence was far lower than mine. I discarded. I went no contact. I WILL be the one to expose him. (Maybe… if I ever pluck up the courage lol) I truly believe I broke him. I always used to say he was a little bit scared of me. Always called me feisty. Before, that really hurt me as I hated to think he saw me that way. I’m now taking that as a compliment.
    I questioned my own niceness while I was with him. I thought I’d changed for the worst. Even afterwards when I realsied what he was I questioned whether perhaps I was the same. That has been a constant niggle until now.
    I now know I am a super empath not a narc.
    Of all the articles I’ve read and of all the education I’ve gained here none of them compare to the imense sense of ‘knowing’ I have just gained. I feel like a huge weight has been lifted.
    Thank you HG, thank you so very very much!

  7. Gem says:

    Sorry, after I posted my previous comment I realized I have some follow-up questions. You may have addressed this in another post that I haven’t seen so please feel free to direct me to that.

    There’s a lot of connection between narcissism and alcoholism. Would you say that the Lesser and the Mid Range
    Narcissist is more susceptible to this because they are not aware of what they are and are treating their problems with substance abuse? Is it possible for an alcoholic mid-range narcissist to become aware of what they are or does the alcoholism keep them functioning at a cognitively lower level so that they cannot see their problems?

    I have also noticed a connection between the Greater Narcissist and cocaine usage. Is that really a thing or am I just imagining it? I think it reinforces their narcissistic tendencies and makes them feel even bigger and greater. So, most likely they wouldn’t become alcoholics because of the suppression of cognition that comes with it. They don’t want to escape their problems they most likely are more interested in enhancing their abilities. Am I making accurate connections and observations?

    If you haven’t done so already, I think narcissism and substance-abuse would be an interesting thing to write about.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      The MR does not know what he is. He may recognise that certain behaviours are problematic but he will always blame that on somebody else.
      I do not know about the correlation between Greaters and cocaine usage. These days the low-end cocaine cost means that whilst it remains expensive as a daily vice, it is certainly affordable to most people and easily affordable to the wealthy. The high end bugle is going to be beyond the reach of many. I suspect the incidence of cocaine usage amongst our kind is higher than the population as a whole and with Greaters, their financial firepower means that purchasing it regularly is not a problem for them. The incidence of its use across all of our kind will be linked to the effect which is akin to fuel – thus those with less reliable fuel matrices will use substances and alcohol as a fuel crutch (and in so doing fall prey to two addictions). Greaters are more likely to use it as a boost to their existing fuel provision. Such usage and the connotations that come with it (success, glamour, drug of choice of the rich and famous etc) also appeals.

      1. NarcAngel says:

        HG
        I would think the Greater would be hesitant to use these substances due to loss of control while under the influence, as Im sure youve witnessed with your brethren. Although, I suppose in most cases any resulting behaviour (admissions etc) would be attributed to the substance itself and not your behaviours outside of using them.
        Hmmm…..
        Sometimes I just have to talk it out.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          The expensive does not cause a loss of control but rather a sharpening and focus.

      2. indiglowsky says:

        That makes sense and it is an interesting conversation, specific drugs of choice for differing groups. I have to agree, social and economic class play a part. Stimulants usually are used more frequently by achievement oriented professionals (Adderall, Ritalin, etc…including cocaine.) though it has become more affordable.

      3. Gem says:

        Thanks, HG this was what I was wondering: “thus those with less reliable fuel matrices will use substances and alcohol as a fuel crutch. Greaters are more likely to use it as a boost to their existing fuel provision.”

        It is as HG said, it creates a sharpening and focus and as a “Super-Empath” something that I have noticed among Greaters specifically.

        As indiglowsky said, a conversation about specific drugs of choice for differing groups is interesting and something that I feel I have noticed. I have not yet known a single Greater to have actual alcohol ADDICTION issues but have seen them gravitate towards cocaine as a means of boosting their sharpness. It seemingly makes them feel even more in control… and less face it, they love to be in control of the conversation. They know what they are and know how to “boost” the effectiveness.

        The MR’s I have known have definitely gravitated toward alcohol and alcohol addiction. But not knowing what they are, they don’t know what they are doing is for fuel (whether it’s to deaden or avoid the feelings of inadequacy or heighten their ego) so they aren’t consciously deciding to do use alcohol like a Greater makes the decision to use a substance.

  8. Gem says:

    Wow. I have to say, this is by far the most insightful information I have ever read regarding myself. I am definitely a Super Empath and I always end up going Supernova. In fact, I am reading this right now because I am “Supernova”… every single time I wonder if somewhere inside of me, I am maybe narcissistic as well. I definitely get something out of it internally when I destroy a narcissist. It’s like all of the wounds come out of me at once and I retaliate in a way that is so great that they are sure to never forget. I’m a force to be reckoned with when you cross the line. And you definitely have to be a narcissist to ever get to that line.

    However, I am very much over this cycle and I’m working through things so that I don’t keep doing this with narcissists. It really is exhausting and ultimately not very rewarding.

    Thank you for this. This entire website has changed everything but THIS article… my mind is blown.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are welcome.

  9. DGMB says:

    There it is.

    I have been in absolute supernova mode for over a year now.

  10. Jalen says:

    A super empath has a supernova against a greater narcissist. The narc starts realizing he’s losing his grip and the relationship starts getting bad, really bad. Why does it?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      To assert control.

      1. Jalen says:

        I have left and he’s tried manipulation, suicide, threats, etc to try to get me back and I’ve ignored them all. Once I’ve gotten his family involved and let them know about the life he made up (lied about being a vet, ex- military police officer basically told me his deceased father life story), they believed my truths and all the horrible thins he’s done. After getting them involved I haven’t “heard” from him since. Occasional unknown numbers will call so I automatically block those. Is it safe to assume he has moved on and will leave me alone?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          No it is not safe to make such an assumption.

  11. I really enjoyed this article. You have made me realize I am a Super Empath and I had supernova. I realized I was in a toxic marriage and learned my husbands patterns of manipulation and the energy that fueled him. He needed chaos and negativity in any form necessary; preferably arguments, so I refused to argue with him. If he would call and start talking crazy to me to pick a fight I would hang up. He would always have these childish hissy fits and threaten to not come to a family event, (one time his own daughters 1st bday party)I would pack up me and the kids and leave him and not answer the phone when he call. Obviously I didn’t know this at the time but I went from making it about him to making it about me, I turned on my narc traits on. When I finally left, I left not knowing he was a narc, but I’m happy to know I turned the tables on him and blasted the truth about him to his family .

  12. Trent says:

    Another point I would add with regards to Super Empaths.

    We are chained.

    There are a lot of rules that we just have to follow. I don’t know why I have to follow them, but I do.

    It is my nature to do so, violating them is…., well…, against my nature.

    On odd occasions though, we can become unshackled and the chains no longer exist.

    That may be what you describe as going Super Nova.

    The freedom of that is well…, like a high. It may be something like that of a narcissist getting loads of narcissistic supply.

    Super Empaths may actually just be very strongly empathic sociopaths with a TON of rules that we have to follow for reasons unknown to me.

    1. Trent, you are a sociopath. I know because I am one myself. What is fascinating to me, is that Narcs are drawn to us..their own breed..and they’re oblivious to this fact. Somehow, on a Narcs radar, we come across as “targets”..perhaps as they think we are empaths but we are not. I know why they are drawn to us, though I will not disclose that publicly here (it took me a long time to figure this out, so I will not give this answer out freely). We each have our own “code” that we follow, and you described your own code in your reply: “There are a lot of rules that we have to follow. I don’t know why I have to follow them, but I do.”

      That’s because that is your code. I have my own “code” and it can be a bitch sometimes to follow. My #1 rule in my code: Self-Preservation. Then it gets more complicated from there on (such as, I rarely lie, as it gets others to open up more freely and it doesn’t create a messy web of shit that I could get caught in later on down the road..again, this is because of rule #1 of mine: self-preservation.) I cannot manipulate without my first rule of my “code” being protected at all times. See how it can be complicated? Downright annoying at times.

      If you are calm in fearful situations, or hell..even prefer to dance with fear, then you my friend, are indeed a sociopath. I, for one, love that I am a sociopath for this reason. I am extremely calm in the most frightful (by “normies” standards) situations. I think by way of logic. Never panic. No emotion. Just critical thinking. (Thanks, Self-Preservation!) While us sociopaths are disconnected with MOST people, we can be “bonded” to a select few in life. For example, my Aunt passed away yesterday. Someone who had a major role in my life. Not a tear shed. Just a “whoa.” verbal response. Shocked but not upset. Not a tear fell from my eye. But the week prior, I was watching a cartoon movie and different scenes had me on the verge of tears. It’s the weirdest shit. I think it’s because I feel safe “feeling” for cartoons (not real people), so there’s no risk in them hurting me emotionally. Just a theory. I could be wrong. Who the fuck knows. So yeah anyway, you’re a sociopath. Welcome aboard.

    2. Gem says:

      Though I see where you are getting at, it is literally not possible to be sociopathic and empathetic. Sociopaths lack empathy, they are two opposite things. Super Empaths are also motivated by human connection where a sociopath is not. Sociopaths do not have the capability to feel true human connection. There is no heart motivation. All central things to an Empath.

      Narcissism is essentially the serving of oneself. Because Super Empath’s have a strong identity, are usually self aware, as well as intellectual, and analytical, they will choose to serve themselves and protect themselves at a certain point. Depending on how well they have honed in on their “craft” they have the ability to turn on or turn of the narcissistic traits. It’s not purely instinctual, it is more calculated. Personally, I have been keenly aware of my “Super Empath” capabilities for a long time and have absolutely used that to my benefit… but never at the risk actually causing harm. That is, of course, unless a Narcissist has crossed the line.

      While I definitely understand what you are saying as far as being chained (which is why we are attracted to and attracted by narcissists) when we are unchained, after it’s over, we are still left feeling drained. We definitely have a momentary high when we retaliate and destroy but it comes from a place of wanting to punish due to betrayal. It’s because we know we were used. The behavior is self-protection based. Afterwards, we still need to recover. This cannot be sociopathy. This is just good old “narcissism.” Serving yourself.

      1. Karin says:

        I can so relate to the momentary high. Even thinking back on the times I have gone supernova on a narc, can led to me reliving that rush and smug satisfaction.

        It was so much fun and satisfying to sett them off balance and confusing them for once. The bewildered look they get, the revenge even, was sweet.

        I guess, looking at it from that perspective, I can see where Narcs might get addicted to those same or similar sensations from others and chose to feed off them.

        I’m so glad I am not like that all the time though.

  13. Trent says:

    “The Super Empath has very strong and numerous empathic traits. He or she also has a number of narcissistic traits (more than the Co-Dependent and the Empath but not as many as the Narcissistic Group) and they are stronger in nature than those experienced by the Co-Dependent and the Empath.”

    Are you sure that a Super Empath has narcissistic traits as oppposed to sociopathic ones?

    I mostly follow what you are saying, but I think that you may be looking at things from an off angle with less than ideal lighting.

    What you see as narcissistic traits may actually be sociopathic ones.

    I have exactly zero craving for, and nothing close to an addiciton to, narcissistic supply.

    My dark side, which for the most part only comes out when someone finally crosses a really hard to cross line and actually makes me angry, would better be described as sociopathic than narcissistic.

    If I am a Super Empath, then we may be what is considered to be passive agressive.

    The passive side is very empathic, but the aggressive side is down right sociopathic.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Yes I am sure.

  14. indiglowsky says:

    HG,
    I thought of you when I read this. Thought it would reveal a bit of my thinking about my shadow and demons within and how I approach others with demons. It is taken from the book, The places that scare you. By Pema Chodron:

    “‘In other traditions demons are expelled externally. But in my tradition demons are accepted with compassion.’
    —Machik Labdrön

    For arousing compassion, the nineteenth-century yogi Patrul Rinpoche suggested imagining beings in torment—an animal about to be slaughtered, a person awaiting execution. To make it more immediate, he recommended imagining ourselves in their place. Particularly painful is his image of a mother with no arms watching as a raging river sweeps her child away. To contact the suffering of another being fully and directly is as painful as being in that woman’s shoes. For most of us, even to consider such a thing is frightening. When we practice generating compassion, we can expect to experience our fear of pain. Compassion practice is daring. It involves learning to relax and allow ourselves to move gently toward what scares us. The trick to doing this is to stay with emotional distress without tightening into aversion, to let fear soften us rather than harden into resistance. ”

    Hope you are well and on vacation.

    Indy

  15. Oh my gosh this is Me! I always would always find myself “punishing” those who I felt “took advantage” of my kindness! I was slightly confused because I felt narcissistic At Times but I am far to “feely” and loving to ever characterize myself as such. I’ve hoovered people just to know I could get them to do what I want then disappear 😂😔. Once I found out what he was but wasn’t ready to completely leave I’d mirror His actions when he was trying to be “nice” he’d say stuff like “You don’t have to be so cold” or “You just want to punish me until you feel like I’ve suffered long enough and then you’ll stop until you get mad and do it again.” 😂😂 I’ve also heard I have a different gear that I get into when I’m mad that normal people don’t have BUT at the same time I love love and want to help people, and make them smile while giving myself to a fault. I also noticed he would for the most part try to AVOID fights with me because “I take stuff too far” .. I’m just an Empathic Supernova 💪🏾💪🏾 that’s all 😂

  16. livegoddess says:

    But the “challenge” that you say you prefer H.G.; is that not relative to the risk involved in pushing the supernova to occur? does not the potency of the “weapons” in the empath’s possession, the potential to bring about the opinion of others…does it not must make the narc at some point, “stand down”?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Depends on the type of narcissist.

      1. Live Goddess says:

        A month later, he engaged. I discharged the supernova (restrained, only exposing him with his IPPS). What kind of narc, HG? For the life of me, I cannot understand why he’d push for his own exposure and the resulting devaluation/discard. Not by me, I was quiet alone and have been doing healing work. By the IPPS, his brother/mother/children/inner circle. If it was true vindictiveness, I’d go after his family, too. It’s not. I actually hope that I trigger the IPSS to understand the depth of her own abuse. Perhaps in time. I did my duty to warn, it’s not my circus.

  17. Hope says:

    Wow! You’re insight is amazingly precise. I am drawn to this site daily. The education is proving beneficial in giving me ways to articulate my situation as well as prepare for upcoming events sure to pass.
    Thank you HG.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are welcome Hope.

  18. What would a greater think if I interrupted him while he was trying to make an elaborate explanation of a yes or no question? He raised his voice and said “Then no!” I was wondering if it was because I interrupted
    his long drawn out answer. I already knew the answer was yes but was testing him.

  19. Debbie says:

    Still my favorite article.
    Eye opening.
    Like the sound of the battle cry…evoking memory of
    the fight that led to freedom.

  20. NarcAngel says:

    HG
    Just for clarification (for others) a person would be a Super Empath experiencing a Superova correct? A Supernova is not a category but an event? I keep reading people referring to themselves as Supernovas.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Entirely correct.

      1. SweetFreedom says:

        Ahhh…since it is an event, this makes even more sense as to how I am reacting to his bullshit now! 🙂

    2. Ollie says:

      Yes, when I re-read the article that’s what it is, you either ‘pull a supernova’ or ‘go into supernova mode’. Maybe the referral is because ‘supernova’ just sounds so cool…;)

  21. Claudia 🌺 says:

    Oh, 👌 okay. Do you know what I might be?

    1. Claudia 🌺 says:

      🐣🐥

    2. Claudia 🌺 says:

      Wait! Never mind!

  22. Claudia 🌺 says:

    Mr. T, do you know what each of us are on your blog- (between Empaths, Super Empaths, Codependents, BPD with Codependency, BPD with Empath, BPD with Super Empath traits)? I was just wondering. I mean, you need not tell me what I am (in public) bcuz I do not want others to laugh at me, but just wondering if you know?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Some not all.

    2. Lisa says:

      Hi Claudia🌺. And hi HG. I think I asked a similar question once. Now, further down the track, I must admit Id love to know HG’s thoughts on this too. So…HG, I recently read one of your blogs asking for ideas on topics/questions. How about for those of us interested (in knowing), you do a piece on this. What types of empaths are WE? That is, the ones you have gotten to know a bit. I for one, put my hand up to find out your thoughts. Id love to know if I am right or just THINK I’m right about myself. Come on….what do you say HG???
      Hands up guys if youd like to know…✋🏼

      1. HG Tudor says:

        Do you mean what type of empath do I think the individuals on the blog are?

        1. Lisa says:

          Yes HG I do. I would love to know if Im right about myself. Who better to ask?
          Thank you. 🙂

          1. HG Tudor says:

            Indeed who better to ask and to do it appropriate justice and obtain the relevant information then it should be done under the auspices of a private consultation as others have done so.

          2. Lisa says:

            Ahhh ok. Thank you HG. I will indeed consider. 🙂

  23. Karen says:

    I am only learning all this in the last 2 weeks. I suppose I’m an empath. Scares me that I could be a magnet for this kind.

    How could my Mid range covert husband stick around for 31 years? How did he maintain? Was I just a good IPPS? Was he faithful or would that be impossible? I was discarded Dec 21st and saw his mask removed for the first time. I was completely blind.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Hello Karen, you evidently provided excellent fuel, character traits and residual benefits but it is highly likely he had IPSSs which most likely you did not know about.

  24. musteryou says:

    I’m not an empath. I operate from a position of extreme Christian moral training: “We can’t have people running around like that in the world, no matter what I feel for them. That’s wrong.”

  25. abrokenwing says:

    I self- diagnosed myself as being co-dependent but as I have hard time trusting my own perception and judgement at the moment I will probably have to seek professional help in order to find out who I am. If this makes sense..

  26. Lainey says:

    I’m a super empath. I know now that I supernova’d my narcissistic psychopathic boyfriend. It ended catastrophically and I can’t talk to anyone about it. I feel like I’m as crazy as he is. The supernova supersucks.

  27. Reblogged this on The Little Book of Empathy and commented:
    I think I fit the criteria for a super empath, and this post by HG Tudor describes what I’m experiencing at the moment: an inner super nova..

  28. Jen says:

    My ex’s empathic supernova left him. She was an ipss.

  29. Ollie says:

    Interesting read! I’m definitely not the co-dependent empath, but doubt if I’m the empathic supernova. I stayed in the relationship way too long, took all the abuse for years and when I (finally) decided enough was enough, it was over and I escaped and kicked him out. Never took him back, never cried in front of him, never showed him how much he hurt me, never showed him my broken heart… I wasn’t out to get him, but definitely not let him have his way either during the divorce from hell. He had had his way for 17 years… I just wanted out and be done as fast as possible. He did say during the divorce process that he ‘was scared of me’ and if we ‘couldn’t just stay married’ (!) after I finally showed my teeth. I honestly don’t know if he was miserable, but if he was I’m sure it was a convenient card to pull.
    I think my empathic traits are definitely dimmed right now as I tend to care less and less about people, not go overboard or out of my way anymore and just act more like an a-hole just to see where that leads me… horrible attitude, I know… anyways, thanks for the insight!

  30. Miss J says:

    Hello HG,

    I’ve greatly enjoyed your writing but this post is particularly special and helpful to me. It perfectly explains the experience I’ve just had with my narc/soon to be ex husband. Thank you for your insight.

    I have a question that I do not believe has been addressed here but forgive me if I’ve missed a previous post. How do you interact with one of ‘your kind’/is a fellow narc also an appliance with different factory settings or recognized as a different sort of being?

    Offshoot question: Is fuel ever higher octane simply because of the source from which it comes? Or is it the strength of the emotion behind it alone that dictates the octane rating?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you Miss J. The articles When Narcissists Collide will give you some answers. There are more parts of this series to follow.

  31. Lisa says:

    That read pretty much exactly how it happened in my story. The Greater vs the Super Empath. At the time I felt as though ‘I won’, but down the track he did turn extremely malign and ‘pay back’ was his agenda. Before I knew about narcissism, I knew what was going on. Weird. Its only now I can put the termanologies and patterns together. Proves to me I wasnt going mad!!! Thanks HG.

  32. MTS says:

    Would the Greater discard the Super Empath after clashing for good if the risk of wounding again is very high?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Not for good, it is a factor amongst others for the Hoover Execution Criteria.

      1. MTS says:

        Will the Greater hoover if he is busy with his new supply? Can it be that he does not have one?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          If he as a new primary source he will be infatuated with her and will not be interested in hoovering you UNLESS you deserve malign hoovers in the mind of the Greater and the malice obsession drives that.

  33. J says:

    Well, this was enlightening. I couldn’t understand how I can be so very empathic, but all my life, once I had enough, I play the game back at them so well. I only do it with the midrange or greater, as the lower can no longer trick me into not knowing what they really are. I’m not narcissist with anyone else, and only once I’ve had enough (unfortunately it takes a lot). I couldn’t figure out how in the hell I could be both too damn empathic and a narc. Thank you. I don’t feel like such a freak of nature, anymore.

  34. sarabella says:

    so, so what happened with me. I even literally remember when I made the decision to suppress my empathic traits. I can see me lying there, making a decision. Either I allow him to make me feel so helpless or irrelevant, or, I turn off any love and feeling I have for him and… ATTACK to reclaim my sense of self and independence from him (get my money back to break that bond)! Funny, my intuition was right. The moment I lent him that money, my first reaction was omigod, what did I just do, now I am connected to him. It was such a strong feeling that I see now it was what he intended. Exactly that.

  35. Saving Tulip says:

    Fabulous entry, ringing true for me, as this Supernova event is currently in progress.

    Having recently stumbled upon this blog, I can, with fiery eyes and a freshly frozen heart, confirm that this empath has officially endured enough. And oh, the lovely confusion she causes on her way out.

    Something incredibly dark and powerful has been temporarily stirred, I admit. How refreshing…

  36. Claudia says:

    And all those who joined in on his Smear Campaign against me, in which I have snapshots of, are supposedly people who are Victims Advocates, Counselors, Psychologists, ETC.,. Nice, especially when I have proof of their joining in on the Smear Campaign with the main Narcissist. Plus, I have his past videos, and emails, of him describing his suicide plans, blaming me, manipulating, major triangulating me, and many, many other Narcissist games he played on me, complete with emails from his Lieutenant, trying to coerce me into the Narcissist’s ensnarement, and adding to the triangulation, and major manipulations. I also have emails from the main administrator of the secret FB site telling me over and over to “run away as far as I can” from this narc who had ensnared me, and then subsequently this same individual (the Secret FB Group Administrator) was setting up a place on a throne in her group for this same Narc, and his Lieutenant, whilst they have also been planning this bigger group with Dr. James Fallon to “help” Victims of Narcissists. The Lieutenant told me several times that she had already put in $8,000 + to get this new group off the ground. They are also actively seeking contributions and donations from others. It’s like a cult, or something…

  37. Claudia says:

    They are hoping to be the Victims of Narcissists Support Site above all others. And who is helping them put this site together? The Narcissist who ensnared me, his Lieutenant, and the main Administrator of the Secret Facebook Group who knew I was being endangered by a Narc from her site, but turned a blind eye because she was more interested in the QUANTITY of members, and she knew that the Narc was adept at his Victim Act in bringing in a great number of victims to this group.

    1. Narcslayer says:

      Interesting, Claudia. I found my narc on a secret Fb site that also has developed a 2nd group. It’s just sick. Hmmmm

      1. Hmmm, ya. Sick.

      2. Maybe same one, NS…

  38. Carla says:

    Interesting read, to say the least. How I would enjoy writing not so much a “counter post” but rather the opposite view point on this.

  39. Claudia says:

    I know the name of this group that is in the midst of being created, and the Administrator once told me, after I left, and had problems with a male Narc on the Secret Site, that she “just hopes I don’t bad-mouth her site to others”. I have not ever disclosed the name of her Narc-infested FB secret group, or the new uprising group in which they have put thousands of dollars into in order to get it off the ground, but it’s interesting how a Narc-Infested Site can rise up as a Helping Site to “help” those of Narcissist Abuse.

  40. Amy says:

    Dear H.G., Transatlantic Colonist here providing you supply and fuel. Thank you for your extensive insight into this darkness. I am a recovering Super Empath/ Magnet (lucky me). Is it possible that a Greater could become a Mid-range or Lesser due to severe alcoholism? That is, could the substance, which renders him out of control, affect his ability to operate with the skill required of a Greater? Does the substance abuse alter the category (i.e. Greater, Mid, Lesser) – when sober he is a Greater but when drunk he is a Mid OR Is one always a Greater, but adopts conduct of the Mids or Lessers when incapacitated . Also, is the defining difference between a Greater and the Mids/Lessers knowledge/self-awareness and understanding that his machinations are contrived to provide fuel? Thank you for your time and consideration.

  41. Claudia says:

    Even to this day, they are still active and forming an even bigger and more “elite” Internet site for Victims of Narcissists, complete with Dr. Fallon on board.

  42. Claudia says:

    This article is very enlightening. In the past Secret FB ‘Support Group for Victims of Narcissists’, they carried on and on about how “staying with a Narcissist for too long could result in one actually becoming a Narcissist”! Their information was all wrong. In trying to be regarded as The Great Helpers of Narcissist Victims, they were spewing out false information and tall tales, acting as if they had great authority to do so. And, the members hungrily ate up every word that came from this Facebook “Support Group”. This Secret FB Group administrator would often say that she was on her way to go and search out, and add, more victims to the group. She actually went looking for them, (since the group was Secret, and still is so).

  43. Maria says:

  44. livegoddess says:

    soooo, I have won? He is fearful of my assembled salvos ready for discharge in the mexican standoff fashion. no, I never have threatened all the things he fears; the “exposure” to his family, his tribe, his business associates, the people around him. He has gossiped them all brutally in texts to me, has confided nefarious purpose, has revealed the true nature of the emotions he feels for these people to me.
    It occurred to me, since this one is covert but not unaware…and has a serious masochistic streak for all his cruelty: was arming me with the 3 years of all of his ugliness in evidence, and pushing me to the point of reckless reactivity…could he have really been pushing me into a role that means his demise, professionally and socially? I started the collections of all of that for innocent purpose. To prove his gaslighting and baiting. He DID say that. I didn’t, lol. Childish to have to, but hey when someone is accusing and punishing and ranting about things that didn’t occur, I always fought back.
    So why when he’d been backed down from his threats to forward erotic pics I’d made with/for sharing with him with my employer by my assertion that I have enough to make a civil case for harassment…would he continue to give me “confessions.” Answers to hook-up ads with escorts or gay or trannies with his pic attached, would hurt his mother and brother and likely get him kicked out of the inheretance. His mother is a witch narc, still controls the family biz, although the brother is the “golden child.”
    Could his ultimate purpose be to slay himself by prompting one of his victims to do unto him everything that HE WOULD DO, corrupting forever my “higher motives”? I DO have an impulse to “lash out,” and hurt him. I’m human. But I wouldn’t be able to disregard the people in his life as collateral damage, as he would. I care about the hurt it would cause, even I don’t owe him or any of them anything.

    I only hope he’s worried and frightened, but I haven’t done a thing except block his return as soon as the last stonewall started.

    I’m not going to bait and torture him, I’m not going do anything and not going to “check in” on him. I know the level of paranoia he enjoys anyway, and I’ve already sent him copies of the files of texts I am holding.

    I know I’m well equipped now, H.G., and for that I thank you.

  45. Iphigenia says:

    I like this story; it really suits my book. Thanks for posting. Fortunately my narc isn’t very smart – he is only vaguely aware of his manipulations; he operates instinctively. He is unable to know himself fully by reasoning in the abstract, so his exploitation is rudimentary. His tools were his sexuality, his aloof coldness and his misunderstood victim shtick.

    Although he did show occasional flickers of self awareness when he was really in a corner with me, from quite early on I felt I knew him better than he did himself.

    But still, I suffered for over a year because my instinct to nurture, support, understand and have good sex (for the first time – I think I’m a bit of an sexual/emotional masochist) was strong.

    Regarding your ‘super-nova empath’ label: I feel an affinity with this idea because I have been able to utilise narcissistic thinking to peel away the emotion that was glueing me to my ‘lesser narc’. I have recently acted out some fairly narcissistic behaviours in an attempt to exert my dominance over him and as a consequence my own self-esteem.

    The war is nearly over and I’ve won some very satisfying battles in the final days. In terms of collateral damage from the relationship, I’ve still got a slight lump on my head from the time he hit me because I refused to be ignored, but I’m pretty sure there’s no lasting damage to my heart.

    I hope my experience has sharpened my senses to detect the more slippery approach of a greater narc. Scary stuff! But I suspect I might spot the greater more easily than the floundering lessers because too much charm and romancing makes me feel queezy. There was certainly none of that to be had from my handsome arrogant but intellectually nullifying chap. He was simply a lazy, self- entitled but beautiful chauvanist peacock!

    Thanks, again. Ps. I like the dry humour and irony. Well done!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you.

  46. neverbroken says:

    HG, I have read so much of your writings, but none, until now explained me. He could never break me, I was always able to take the verbal abuse to his level, I always knew I was better educated, better looking, much higher social standing, and he knew it, and he crumbled. We have been dancing for 7 years, and he has found someone to tag in during his absences who is easily broken each time. My question, is this part of the challenge, that I can’t be broken, and am able to give his abuse back to him? He never leaves for long, maybe a month or two at most. Sidebar, narcissist mother taught me some amazing coping skills

    1. Windstorm says:

      Neverbroken
      I too learned how to deal with narcissists from my narcissist mother! I am very uncomfortable deliberately criticizing/wounding others, but I am able to defend myself from all the narcs in my family when they cross my personal line of what I will tolerate. Id never thought of HG’s supernova analogy. Maybe that’s how it seems from the narcs point of view. For me it’s more like a power switch being flipped inside me that blankets me in apathy and lets me laugh at and cut down my narcs when needed. Being secure in our own intelligence and understanding their insecurities gives us this power.

      1. neverbroken says:

        Windstorm, I sometimes wonder if I am able to fake being destroyed by his actions, maybe the challenge aspect will be broken for him, and he will go away, but he knows me too well to fall for the wounded act

    2. Fifi says:

      Could you share some of these skills please? I don’t know if I am a Super Empath, but “fiery” is exactly how my ex-Narc described me, and I may feel like throwing it back in his face for a change.

      1. neverbroken says:

        FIFI, You have to do what they do to you, with no feeling, no remorse. I know his lack of education, money, social standing, eat at him. I make sure to reference this often. He is a somatic, but at 45, with lots of booze and drugs, the looks aren’t what they were, I pat the growing belly, make mention of the hair loss, buy him Rogaine, to be helpful 🙂 I sometimes hate that I have sunk to his level, but in the end, it’s the only thing I have , to make him feel bad about himself. When you are with someone a long time, you know exactly what buttons to push!

  47. I appreciate your insight more then you know. I was terrified I was turning into him because I was striking back. Using all of his same manipulations, words, everything he had thrown at me back at him. I end up escaping and now I understand what happened. He acted upon the mid narc word by word. Your precision upon detail of what actually happens is uncanny. Very helpfull indeed. Thank you

  48. SweetFreedom says:

    Very interesting. Maybe I am an empathic supernova. My narc always used to say he absolutely loved that I was fiery! He mentioned in our last days that I was so confident when we met and that was such a huge attraction for him.

    I think he thought I’d crumble if we weren’t together. This has actually been the happiest I have been since 1997. Sucks to be him.

  49. I just mentioned it yesterday. Exactly what I’m going through since January. It’s a new territory, but feels great.
    My empathy has dimmed considerably, causing darkness inside. It’s still there if I decide to flip the switch but I won’t, not for a long time.
    I do notice some undesirable side effects like gray vision, nothing’s positive and warm.
    But acquiring a sense of self empowerement is worth it. I’m ready to kick some ass, and not just one of my narcissist, which I do and from his reactions and posts on FB, he’s feeling it. He’s furious. He’s flirting with other women, posting photos with them, etc. Posting songs with words he wants to communicate. Like today, the lyrics said that he’s watching my every move. He knows something is definitely wrong this time. He’s a lesser to mid range, so he will never have a clue what’s going on inside of me. No clue.
    It’s been a couple times I literally slapped his face and threw him out the door, but it wasn’t anything like this time. This time is a cold out of nowhere shut off. He tried all the hoovers in the book, none of them worked. Most usually would in the past.

    This time it’s a cluster of causes, it’s not really him alone, it’s all of them and everything that finished processing, and I finally see it all in perspective.
    Supernova is awesome. From not on I will not let him or anyone do this again or theylll see the sword in their face.

    1. This was the longest hold in moderation so far… arghh…

  50. Stormborn says:

    ….and this is where it gets really interesting 🙂

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