Holy Narcissist


The holy narcissist is one of the especially effective members of the narcissistic brethren. The attraction of religion but moreover being a member of the clergy carries with it considerable advantages for those of our kind who manage to install themselves within organised religion.

The holy narcissist is nigh on impeachable. What better authority can there be for always being right, always having the high ground and always being revered than as an instrument of God? The holy narcissist has the supreme power in his corner and a book full of phrases and sentences that he can turn to in support of his wisdom. He is here to do good work and by virtue of his position he is assumed to be truthful, kind, compassionate and empathic. The holy narcissist has one of the most effective facades one might hope to see amongst our kind. His is not a façade which has to be worked at through the careful application of community works, diligent industry at work and all round good guy in the neighbourhood. No, the holy narcissist has centuries of instilled goodness to drape around him in an impenetrable cloak of goodness. He has saints and apostles marching behind him, archangels hovering above him, charitable works to point to, the salvation of the sick, the poor and the needy, all woven into this vast façade.

Once he joins the clergy he can avail himself of this façade in an instant. There is no steady and incremental accumulation of the veneer of respectability like the rest of our kind but instead it is akin to placing a cloak around himself and immediately he has a façade and not just a façade, but perhaps the ultimate façade on which to rely.

He is the embodiment of goodness, God’s word flows through him and as such he can act with unquestionable authority. He has zealots ready to support him and to shout down the heretics. Even though organised religion may not wield the power that it once did, one would be foolish to underestimate its effect still. Even those who do not believe and readily bait and insult those who do, are likely to think twice before attacking a man of the cloth. They wear God’s armour and the indoctrination of people, even those who have rejected the notion of such a being, means they would hesitate before launching some kind of attack against a member of the clergy. I have seen it happen. Those who are vociferous in all other aspects still show a deference to that dog collar.

A position in religion appeals greatly to our kind. You are blessed with an instant authority. You have scriptures, texts and readings which are used as a form of law to castigate mortal man and thus allow the holy narcissist to maintain superiority. There are grand and ornate ceremonies which the holy narcissist is the centre of. He dresses differently from the simplicity of the Catholic black which distinguished from others in the community to the papal splendour of the man (almost) at the top. Decadence, shiny and glittering decadence abounds and he even is able to stand at preach at his fellow man and woman. How does he do so? From the elevated position of the pulpit. Proof, if proof were needed that he is greater than those around him and finds himself part way between heaven and earth.

Where confession plays a part he is able to absorb the sins of his worshippers. The narcissist always needs to know and of course knowledge is power. Being privy to the foibles, sins and vulnerabilities of someone on the other side of that screen (who is of course readily known) vests considerable power in the holy narcissist. He is able to scold and upbraid and is thanked for doing so. He doles out devaluation on a daily basis and is met with the grateful thanks of those who seek absolution.

Should you offend him you are not just discarded but you are banished, made a pariah and few can smear you so darkly as one who apparently operates from the side of light. Step out of line with the holy narcissist and see how quickly the community is mobilised against you. You are snubbed at church (if you dare to appear) and this tarring and feathering leaks out into the community as a whole as the holy narcissist does not just have a coterie but he has a congregation. He does not just have Lieutenants, he has vergers and sextons, he has bishops and archbishops who will close ranks and turn their backs on those who speak ill of one of their own.

Try to speak out and expose the holy narcissist and he will describe you as ‘troubled’ and that he will pray for you, further advancing how filled with goodness he is and there must be something seriously wrong and deviant with you if you are resorting to making accusations against  man of the cloth.

The holy narcissist has a position of considerable privilege. An ancient and powerful institution which resolutely supports him, the commanding word of God to dispense, the impressive façade and always the capacity to exploit a person’s fear of their own mortality. As it has been stated before, there were no atheists in the trenches. When the chips are down you either call out to God or your mother, usually both. When you know that despite all appearances, a person still has that need to call on a higher power when they are in fear, this places you in a powerful position.

This position comes with many benefits but the most attractive of all is the congregation. A loyal, devout conclave of fuel. Those who attend services, hold coffee mornings, raise collections, operate soup kitchens and so forth are the foot soldiers of empathy. They are inherently good people who care, who are honest and decent and they wish to exhibit their goodness through good acts and deeds. How they respond and light up when the holy narcissist moves amongst them thanking them for their endeavours. Their faces turn to the holy narcissist, rapt with delight, fuel gushing for them as the holy narcissist sweeps through his worshippers, drinking deep of their admiration, their love and their compassion. It is these people who are doing the dirty work, standing in the cold shaking a collecting tin, feeding down and outs in the less desirable areas of the city and walking mile upon mile to gather donations for the charity shop or food parcels. The holy narcissist will tap into this collective goodness and bolt it on to his façade. He will front the mission’s work, the output as he receives the earnest thanks of the disadvantaged and yet more fuel.

This congregation will round on transgressors, they will offer up delicious fuel as a host of secondary sources which has the holy narcissist positively drenched in the positive fuel. With firebrand enthusiasm, the holy preacher will set his sights on those who apparently do evil and will contentedly draw their ire and the associated negative fuel. He is unswayed. The Big Man has his back and with that it is ever onwards Christian soldiers. No matter what form this religion might take, there will always be holy narcissists in their numbers. There is so much that appeals and accords with the narcissist that organised religion will always attract our kind. The ready availability of unquestionable moral authority which is plated and welded to the narcissistic mind set of superiority, omnipotence and grandiosity makes for a heady concoction indeed. Many struggle to escape the clutches of a holy narcissist and if they do not comply, they are hammered into submission by one of the master strokes of organised religion, the concept of guilt.

Empathic individuals are burdened by guilt and with a book full of quotations that support this construct, the holy narcissist has a field day as he exploits this inherent trait of those who he deals with. You must never question him but you must question yourself because you are prone to sin, you are weighed down by guilt and therefore it is always your fault. It is manna from heaven for the narcissist. Everything about organised religion either elevates him or provides him with a set of tools and methods for keeping his congregation and worshippers submissive, appreciative and loyal. He is able to call on near total dedication and loyalty and if the occasional member strays out of line he has the means and the clerical muscle to either bring them back under his control or banish them into the wilderness. Exerting such control and being able to reap the fuel rewards demonstrates how supine his congregation becomes when it is in the hands of the holy narcissist.

No wonder it is referred to as his flock.

42 thoughts on “Holy Narcissist

  1. lynna4 says:

    Love the last line!

    1. amsodone says:

      HG is the closer!

  2. Lou says:

    Yes, I have met some of these holy narcs.

  3. E. B. says:

    I am glad you have brought up this subject, HG. I went to a Catholic private school and became an atheist.

    1. amsodone says:

      EB, am sorry you were mislead; they will be accountable, this and in next realm

      1. E. B. says:

        Thank you, amsodone. I hope so.

  4. Twilight/Dawn says:

    Religion is man made twists the spiritual side into what they desire it to look like. Just another illusion to hide behind to make one look or feel good. Hypocrisy

    1. amsodone says:

      religion is not spirituality… pharisees.

      1. Amber says:

        Religion is a tool that can be used for good or evil. It is not inherently evil. It is man which man that makes it so.

        1. Twilight/Dawn says:

          Evil uses this tool effectively.
          I have seen what is considered evil do more good then the good have in some areas.
          We all must chose for ourselves, in the end saying he/she made me, even in that you had a choice. Emotions are what cloud the choice. An Empaths Strength and Weakness.

        2. amsodone says:

          Religion is evil IMHO, spirituality is good (and biblical..see religious Pharisees/rule keepers).

  5. Yes, I’ve noticed if you are aligned with religion .. to me, Christianity, then people can be blinded and ignorant. So much is assumed about the person to be right and holy but never checked out. If they are charming plus being spiritual, they have it made! To me a holy bad man is worse than any kind. They can sin with the best of them and quote scriptures while doing it. I’m speaking of preachers here but there are many categories of “righteous” people.

  6. IntelAvatar says:

    Amen, and if they can deliver the last rights of extreme unction guess what. Promotion follows. So upon inhaling death, the lineages of bishropry ensues. Death cult hierarchy. The only way you can penetrate this mob is get penetrated yourself and mums the word.

  7. abrokenwing says:

    Sorry, I didn’t meant to sound like yoda.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      That’s okay.

  8. abrokenwing says:

    My ex husband this is.

  9. NarcAngel says:

    “He dresses differently from the simplicity of the Catholic black.”

    Well thats an understatement. He looks like hes been bedazzled, and paired with the hat-looks like hes ready to break out into a show tune.
    What a clown.

    Religion. Biggest illusion of all time and an apt gig for Narcs. A huge stage and all those lambs to slaughter presenting themselves……….Its no wonder there are so many victims as theyve been conditioned (usually since birth and without choice) to be seduced by lies and illusion. Didnt your Narc seem sent from Heaven when he appeared in your life? He was. The Narc gave you a glimpse of Heaven and the paradise youve been promised after death, and howd that turn out?

    1. LK says:

      Turned into hell

  10. amsodone says:

    Unsettling read at best. I could not help thinking (some) Narcs may gravitate to positions of authority… clergy, law enforcement, physicians, (possibly politicians and ‘movie stars’); in the same way as pedophiles gravitate to positions of power and trust with which to abuse children… creepy stuff

  11. Well written.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you FL11

  12. Amber says:

    The religious leader has always been my weakness. What I’ve discovered is that charisma is a sign of sociopathy, though, so it’s easier to spot the wolves now. But the ability to accurately wield scripture is harder to detect as fraud since even satan can do so convincingly to one who is untrained.

    1. amsodone says:

      The devil can masquerade as an angel of light…

  13. 1jaded1 says:

    Yep. It’s Lent for those who observe. The higher authorities in power gave dispensation for people to eat cornbeef even though it’s friday (eating meat is “forbidden” on Friday). People are sooo greatful (at least in the radio interviews). Oh the power to be a religious leader to change the rules and alleviate the guilt of the masses. Another reason I call BS. I expect flak.

    1. amsodone says:

      A man made ‘religion’ to eat fish on Friday, some do religiously; not biblical.

      1. Amber says:

        Fasting, a part of Lent, is biblical. Fasting from meat on Fridays is just a small part of recognizing the sacrifice of Christ who died on Good Friday, in their belief system. If it helps them in their walk with christ, who are we to judge? My local catholic church observes Lent, and are also the only local charity that is established through the city to help disadvantaged families with water bill disconnects, and also is the designated food pantry for our neighborhood. In celebration of Lent this season, they are organizing a food drive for my neighborhood which struggles a bit financially. We can criticize the evil things done by corrupt people within religion, but the structure itself is not evil, nor does it corrupt the human heart. Many good people participate in it, and use it as a tool to then help other humans, as well. I am not catholic, but i could only stand to read so many comments before i had to say let’s please not judge all by the actions of some, even though i agree with those who say the church needs to be reorganized at a level of Martin Luther size reformation perhaps. Blessings.

        1. 1jaded1 says:

          I don’t judge those who fast or abstain from meat. Idgaf. I do laugh when the church says it’s okay to eat cornbeef on friday to appease the masses who might feel guilty for doing so.

        2. amsodone says:

          This is not the best forum, however…
          Please educate yourself as to where exactly in the bible there is instruction to participate in “lent”… seems performance based to me and undermines the work Christ did on the cross (not by deeds least anyone boast).

          Fasting from meat is for Christ?
          Where does it say that in the bible? Could you provide this biblical verse.?

          We are ALL sinners,” there is none righteous, no not one”, not even you Amber – even if you don’t eat meat, give up something you otherwise covet for 40 days, or pay an electric bill for someone.. all good things to do, however, these deeds will not assure salvation (deeds don’t get us into the presence of a Holy God..cause we are all.. um.. sinners). That is why we need a savior.

          It is not biblical to pray to Mary (or the Pope) to absolve sin – because Amber – The bible says if we confess our sins to Him (GOD/Jesus), HE is just to forgive us.

          Keep in mind that when Jesus rode in on the donkey (Palm Sunday), people said “bless the mother that bore you” (reference to Mary as idol being placed above Christ), Jesus answered “No, blessed is He that comes in the name of the Lord” (see, its not about Mary, is about Jesus and not about deeds).. even “using it as a tool to help other humans” as you stated… and you “could only stand to read so many comments before (you) had to say lets please not judge all by the actions of some”… unsure what you meant by this but I am assuming your comment directed at individuals that assert themselves in positions of power in the church to abuse others… I frankly IMHO think a separate part of hell awaits them.. better for a milestone around their neck and all that…

          I’m sure you are a very nice person.
          Was not my intention to get on a rank (likely HG won’t post this anyway) – but HG, I am glad you are reading this cause I’m praying (not preying, haha) for you.

          Be well Amber. Happy Resurrection Sunday (Easter) coming soon; so lets agree on basic theology (we are all sinners), and educate ourselves about the Narcs and narcs that are ever present. I pray for discernment and wisdom, Amen.

          1. Twilight/Dawn says:

            I am not here to debate yet IMO and if you look into things hoilidays such as Easter, started from paganisum, My question for a while has been who or what are people worshipping in celebrating these holidays?
            If HG allows it I would be interested in your opinion.

          2. TD,
            You are absolutely correct that holidays are rooted in paganism. They are based on church teachings not bible teachings. As to who or what people are worshipping…unknowingly for Easter it is a fertility goddess, mixed in with Jesus’ death and wah la, you have Pagans and Christians united in worship, at least that’s how Constantine saw it when he wanted to win the pagans over to Christianity. It stuck and here we are years later and people don’t know what they are worshipping, they just do what the churches tell them without question. Big mistake.

          3. Twilight/Dawn says:

            ABB it is a big mistake and a big reason why I am against religion and question everything.
            The blind leading the blind, to begin to control teach people what to think and not how to think. Don’t question just do. HG is right they are the doers, they create more of their own and in the process convince the young Empaths they have no choice but to accept things and fix them. They have been at this for a very long time.
            Sorry I got off the subject of religion at the end.

          4. amsodone says:

            If cool with HG, although I think this topic is done and I went off on a rant (as Dennis Miller used to say). Although is somewhat connected to the topic of Clergy wolves “watching” over the flock, I do not want to be disrespectful.
            It is my understanding times were chosen as Christian replacements to refocus on Creator, not creation: Winter solstice was pagan celebration of death and dying. (Jesus was not born in Dec). Spring solstice celebration of rebirth and fertility. Jesus resurrection is rebirth and Easter bunny is Christian fertility replacement.
            OK. Back on task…I wonder if my narc is anticipating an upcoming holiday hoover!
            TD, we must remain vigilant whilst we drink wine and eat chocolate. Its that 6th sphere, that 17% thing…

          5. Twilight/Dawn says:

            I am always amused now when he comes knocking only because it is the 6th sphere and he does it to himself.

            Please don’t think I am being disrespectful, yet why would the church want to celebrate what is to be about Christ yet use pagan roots in these customs if they were not creating an illusion? they have change the perspective to make it look like truth. An illusion people follow by the masses with out ever questioning. This is strictly my opinion but anything built on a lie and twisted to look like truth is still a lie.

          6. amsodone says:

            Yep, I see your point; somewhat analogous to a narc relationship, built on deception.

          7. Twilight/Dawn says:

            This has been going on thou sense the dawn of time.
            I believe thou there is a balance of things
            You can not know light with out knowing the dark sorry HG I think I borrowed your line there.
            We are all connected i some form

            Yet when it comes to religion Catholicism goes to the head of the class on narcissism. I do not mean any disrespect to any one person on their beliefs this is my opinion.

  14. Free Bird says:

    My narc was a supposed holy one, tongues and all. Not clergy, but more like Paul, who had given up everything to serve God. (arrived with a bag and a guitar, like the lesser.). I figured that was his sole construct. He did communion with me, and told me when I couldn’t for being disobedient. Deceived me into marriage during bronze/silver period by saying Jesus appeared to him in the night and said we were married. (I believed it, he had me so brainwashed, a wolf in sheep’s clothing.) Did Bible studies, but primarily on the passages elevating men and telling women to shut their mouths. Says how much he has helped others, later found out he had been in jail several times “like the apostles.”. I am still having cognitive dissonance over all of it. Has been the best Bible teacher and believer I have ever known, whilst simultaneously verbally abusive and the meanest person I have ever met. Where are those articles on cognitive dissonance again? Certainly the perfect construct for the narc and what he needs, to play God and prey on innocent, empathic, believers.

    1. Jo says:

      Free Bird. Oh I was hoping to find someone here with a similar situation as mine. The one I was with was not clergy or connected with religion/church in any way but a “man of deep faith” who “gave up all to pursue the deeper mysteries” of the bible. He truly HAD studied it DEEPLY for decades. His bible was full of handwritten margin notes. He was extremely intelligent and understood Greek, Hebrew (ancient and Chaldean) and other languages and knew how to find origins of meaning of words that most have forgotten. He could pair together prophecies and fulfillments like nothing I’ve ever seen. I truly can’t refute hardly anything I learned from him.

      He also considered us “married” after a communion “ritual” we did once after I moved 6 states away to be with him. His big thing was teaching me to be a “meek mild woman of Christ” and to take all that was carnal (his definition of it) and “bury it in the waters of baptism.” He said I was becoming the “bride of Christ” and THROUGH him Christ was brought to me to help me do that.

      I bought it hook, line and sinker because of my strong passion for my faith in Christ. After I came to be with him though… I could tell something was off….my stomach was always in knots… I always felt like I was being “watched” and his subtle way of showing “disapproval” for things I said and did….getting me to even judge myself on things that previously I had liked about myself. So insidious….

      The first time I told him “no” to something (he was always stroking and touching me and one night I asked him not to) ..wow… the floor dropped open and we descended into the 7th level of hell in an instant. I’ve never been so stunned and traumatized in my LIFE. His RAGE was something I have never seen even in the movies… the sheer FORCE of it seeming to shatter my soul itself…. The sheer volume of sanity defying, putrid HATE and DERISION that came out of him was such an assault on anything I ever knew was possible. Using EVERY SINGLE intimate sharing, failings, insecurities etc that I ever shared with him (which unfortunately was a lot… ) It went on for 5 days (alternating between love bombing with more sarcastic belittling and putdowns) until I finally escaped him. That’s a story in and of itself…can’t believe how I did it to this day.

      He then emailed me incessantly and was hellbent on convincing me I had several mental illnesses (narcissism being one of them lol… it is actually how I found OUT about it) and that I needed to “die to” them and repent and come back to him to resume our “mission.” Um… HELL no buddy. I was so fortunate that even though I didn’t know what the HELL had just happened, I did not go back and I went No Contact within 2 weeks of leaving him (filed a restraining order too based on one of his very overtly threatening emails).

      Definitely stands out as one of THE most horrendous experiences of my life. I am forever changed.. .and as more time goes on, definitely for the better.

  15. Ms brown says:

    …. experienced and witnessed abuse, 8 LONG years, at Private Catholic School…. this writing is brave of you to expose… THX

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You are welcome.

    2. amsodone says:

      Luke 17:2. Be well, Ms B

      1. Ms brown says:

        I no longer practice nor “identify” with any organized religious group(s)

        1. amsodone says:

          Makes sense

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