Jenna, do you really think that? HG is an adult. If he suffered in his childhood he could have asked for help when he grew up. He is responsible for himself now. He was all alone- that is true. There are so many kids who were left alone. And many of them do not behave like him. His ugly childhood is no excuse. He could have used his experience for better things than to repeat the abuse over and over and over. He only follows the family motto and does not go other ways . (Although, it is not true on the whole- he informs us. That is another way,or better it is connecting the old way and a new one, his aim is to become famous) He does not want to heal. We should show much more respect for those people who suffered a lot in childhood and resisted the seduction to go the same way.
@giulia,
Are you kidding? Narcs have the BEST sense of humor, even if this means the Narc is belittling you and putting you down. You MUST laugh, because they are the funniest person ever!! And never come back at them with a comeback because “the tiger doesn’t liked to get poked.” (So I am told)
Yeah…this is what I mean. Someone that’s so concentrated on what’s being said and why and the emotions underneath and so many things they want to control, doesn’t really seem to enjoy a nice burst of laugh or the spontaneity of a joke. They aren’t spontaneous. I don’t think their sense of humour is so obvious. It has to happen within well designed circumstances just like everything else they decide to engage with.
Don’t know, the narcs I’ve met couldn’t laugh that much. They were either very sweet and sexy or paranoic and all the other nasty things described here.
@giulia
I get what you are saying. Their sense of humor is non existent if it’s a joke about them or something silly they did. Where as a normal individual would be able to laugh at themselves, Narcs cant.
why everything had to be linked to childhood??
It is an excuse more often than not..
According to my childhood i should have turned out to be a psycopath killer.. and quite justifiable..
I’ve been devouring your blog and your books, but I’m left with two general questions (personal questions will be emailed to you).
Is the insane, pathological jealousy real, or manufactured to either frighten or devalue us? By devalue, I mean make us feel cheap.
The two most devastating instances of fury I experienced were acted out when I felt most at peace and happy in the relationship. I’m surprised I didn’t drop dead from the sudden change. Can your kind sense when we feel our best? Or was that a coincidence?
I actually like this meme.
I fit tossed as a child. In public too.
One time I kicked the back of her car seat for at least two hours non stop driving back from the beach. (Before seat belts)
Depends the way you look at it.
I feel liberated when I don’t get the attention I am expecting. It is kind of fun for me. Makes me feel free.
It has the taste of the opportunity to relax, not having to worry about what other people think of me, I’m flying below the radar, that’s when I can be what I want, deeply, no fear, no worries.
It is pleasurable. I enjoy it. It relaxes me, I get some rest from the outside world. I get to vanish, quietly, for a while because I know it doesn’t last long. Always too short, actually.
HG, More than 60 years ago a young child was tied out on a rope, like a dog to play, while the older brother of just one years was “loose”. Was this the beginning of the destruction of that child, and if so why? When I brought this up I was told that “my mother was just trying to keep me safe”. Do the NARCS who don’t know who THEY ARE protect their “mommy dearest” abuser? Am I way off HG?
HG, you need to put in the bottom right of each of these text that reads “Meme”. I get it’s confusing as it took me a bit to catch on. Or how about in the titled “Narcisisstic Truths Meme No-##” ?
Lol @disasterousintentions was it you that keeps asking this? Any post titled “the narcissistic truths no.” Is only artwork / meme / picture. There is no writing.
You have written that as a child, you learned to stay back in the shadows at home. To avoid your mother’s wrath. Do you recall if that led to you wanting and needing attention and reactions from schoolmates and your teachers? Had you ever been known as a bully?
Reflecting on this I would agree that it did cause a need to receive reactions from others. Evidently the early manifestations of fuel Clarece. I was not known as a bully though, no.
It wasn’t your fault, HG. There was nothing wrong with you. It was outrageous what Matrinarc and your enabling father did to you. The shame you may still have deep inside is not yours, it belongs to them.
Do you believe this is one element that determined the path you followed?
I am working on a theory of mine with why some walk this path and others do not.
I am rereading one of your books to see if it effected me different this time, hmm it still pissed me off. Dr. O made a comment your comment back and I am sorry your mother ……….. how she made you feel …….
HG,
I hate that this was the situation for you. Natural instinct is fight or flight when faced with fear. Child can’t fight parents. The problem is the parents are supposed to be the protecter too. They weren’t. So the dilemma faced by the child is I want to flee from fear,but the fear is my parents. I want to run to my parents for comfort but, they are abusive. What does it leave? Just yourself to rely on. Nobody was there for you. You were alone. So sad. 😔I am so sorry you only had yourself. You survived. You are awesome despite them. You know it right?
No attention? Weeh…
N1 was obsessed with how many likes or comments he did or didn’t get from his followers. His network or fanbase was built off of that. It’s all about that attention… if a pic didn’t get the likes he was after he would delete it quickly.
That is so sad 😩
Although possibly it’s more of anger to you. A lot of people think a hit on those buttons is required but I came of that rubbish because it can become addictive to even the normal human.
A question I have is can you explain what it feels like when fuel is high (your behaviour) and when it’s low please?
No praise no approval. Detrimental to a Narcs mental health. If they don’t tell me how good I am, it means I’m bad and nobody cares. If they tell me then I’m good again. The negative self dialogue is always running in the background whether it’s admitted or not. It is easier to live a life of bad behavior because it matches the internal dialogue. They were told that it wasn’t good enough or wasn’t right so many times and they flipped from black to white so many times in their parent(s) eyes that they had to constantly fight to stay good or white. To stay good in someone’s eyes all the time is hard because nobody is perfect. It is an unrealistic expectation. The child tries so hard to squeeze out the approval and just wants to be good. The child thinks I am good, I am nice, I am kind, I am not the bad things you say I am. I can prove it. Alas, the parent (s) continue to flip the child from good to bad status. Eventually the child gives up. It is easier to be bad. Therefore I will show everyone. I will, lie, cheat, steal, crush, annihilate anyone or anything that stands in my way to prove I am superior. I am not bad. I am good, see all that I have accomplished? Doesn’t this make me special and superior and the best, surely I must be white/good now, Everyone around me must recognize it. That’s the vicious circle. Why didn’t anyone recognize it? They hate me, they are jealous, they are out to get me. But, that would line up with that negative dialogue that’s constantly playing in the background. I must crush that dialogue. I will control someone else and prove my power. I will love bomb someone and they will love me, proving I am good. In a constant state of flux. If I put everyone else in that position I am in control. I do not fail. I call the shots. I don’t need anything or anyone. They need me. I don’t know who I am. I need them to tell me. If they are not telling me then I must not have met the conditions. If I meet the conditions I will be okay. Tell me how charming and lovely I am. Okay I knew I was right. Conditions are met, I am good again. Around and around we go. Thanks Mom and Dad.
True that! I would never let the green smoke affect me. I would just hold my breath and wave my arms frantically in the air. You will have my full attention, well at least until I past from holding my breath.
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Formerly ‘ptsdafternarcabuse’
The little boy had nobody to turn to. It’s so sad 😔😪
Jenna, do you really think that? HG is an adult. If he suffered in his childhood he could have asked for help when he grew up. He is responsible for himself now. He was all alone- that is true. There are so many kids who were left alone. And many of them do not behave like him. His ugly childhood is no excuse. He could have used his experience for better things than to repeat the abuse over and over and over. He only follows the family motto and does not go other ways . (Although, it is not true on the whole- he informs us. That is another way,or better it is connecting the old way and a new one, his aim is to become famous) He does not want to heal. We should show much more respect for those people who suffered a lot in childhood and resisted the seduction to go the same way.
@giulia,
Are you kidding? Narcs have the BEST sense of humor, even if this means the Narc is belittling you and putting you down. You MUST laugh, because they are the funniest person ever!! And never come back at them with a comeback because “the tiger doesn’t liked to get poked.” (So I am told)
the sense if humour we both had
was a true elating experience
😋
Yeah…this is what I mean. Someone that’s so concentrated on what’s being said and why and the emotions underneath and so many things they want to control, doesn’t really seem to enjoy a nice burst of laugh or the spontaneity of a joke. They aren’t spontaneous. I don’t think their sense of humour is so obvious. It has to happen within well designed circumstances just like everything else they decide to engage with.
Don’t know, the narcs I’ve met couldn’t laugh that much. They were either very sweet and sexy or paranoic and all the other nasty things described here.
@giulia
I get what you are saying. Their sense of humor is non existent if it’s a joke about them or something silly they did. Where as a normal individual would be able to laugh at themselves, Narcs cant.
Do narcs have a sense of humour?
Or self irony? It’s a sign of intelligence.
How do they work it out?
Yes we can have a sense of humour. Mine is excellent.
A sense of humour is one of the best assetts in life…
truly..
😋
The narcs i’ve met so far all had an excellent sense of humour… which to me was part of the attraction.
why everything had to be linked to childhood??
It is an excuse more often than not..
According to my childhood i should have turned out to be a psycopath killer.. and quite justifiable..
Better out than in.
We are so much better informed.
Haven’t you noticed socializing so much more relaxed now we have our reality check?
Do you recognize yourself as a perpetual child?
No.
I’ve been devouring your blog and your books, but I’m left with two general questions (personal questions will be emailed to you).
Is the insane, pathological jealousy real, or manufactured to either frighten or devalue us? By devalue, I mean make us feel cheap.
The two most devastating instances of fury I experienced were acted out when I felt most at peace and happy in the relationship. I’m surprised I didn’t drop dead from the sudden change. Can your kind sense when we feel our best? Or was that a coincidence?
It is real.
I actually like this meme.
I fit tossed as a child. In public too.
One time I kicked the back of her car seat for at least two hours non stop driving back from the beach. (Before seat belts)
Depends the way you look at it.
I feel liberated when I don’t get the attention I am expecting. It is kind of fun for me. Makes me feel free.
It has the taste of the opportunity to relax, not having to worry about what other people think of me, I’m flying below the radar, that’s when I can be what I want, deeply, no fear, no worries.
It is pleasurable. I enjoy it. It relaxes me, I get some rest from the outside world. I get to vanish, quietly, for a while because I know it doesn’t last long. Always too short, actually.
HG, More than 60 years ago a young child was tied out on a rope, like a dog to play, while the older brother of just one years was “loose”. Was this the beginning of the destruction of that child, and if so why? When I brought this up I was told that “my mother was just trying to keep me safe”. Do the NARCS who don’t know who THEY ARE protect their “mommy dearest” abuser? Am I way off HG?
I suspect it will have played a part but one would need to know more about the circumstances as a whole SYD.
Why is it i can only see the photo but not the words? I dont see any story on here?
Because it is a meme.
HG, you need to put in the bottom right of each of these text that reads “Meme”. I get it’s confusing as it took me a bit to catch on. Or how about in the titled “Narcisisstic Truths Meme No-##” ?
Yes Joanne it is lol. Ok definitely now have a understanding of it. Only me lol. 😉
Lol @disasterousintentions was it you that keeps asking this? Any post titled “the narcissistic truths no.” Is only artwork / meme / picture. There is no writing.
Can you see the drawing on the wall (red/white), disasterousintentions? This picture is worth a thousand words.
As a young boy you had no voice, no love and no one to count on, right HG?
I had me.
You have written that as a child, you learned to stay back in the shadows at home. To avoid your mother’s wrath. Do you recall if that led to you wanting and needing attention and reactions from schoolmates and your teachers? Had you ever been known as a bully?
Reflecting on this I would agree that it did cause a need to receive reactions from others. Evidently the early manifestations of fuel Clarece. I was not known as a bully though, no.
It wasn’t your fault, HG. There was nothing wrong with you. It was outrageous what Matrinarc and your enabling father did to you. The shame you may still have deep inside is not yours, it belongs to them.
Do you believe this is one element that determined the path you followed?
I am working on a theory of mine with why some walk this path and others do not.
One element yes.
I am rereading one of your books to see if it effected me different this time, hmm it still pissed me off. Dr. O made a comment your comment back and I am sorry your mother ……….. how she made you feel …….
HG,
I hate that this was the situation for you. Natural instinct is fight or flight when faced with fear. Child can’t fight parents. The problem is the parents are supposed to be the protecter too. They weren’t. So the dilemma faced by the child is I want to flee from fear,but the fear is my parents. I want to run to my parents for comfort but, they are abusive. What does it leave? Just yourself to rely on. Nobody was there for you. You were alone. So sad. 😔I am so sorry you only had yourself. You survived. You are awesome despite them. You know it right?
No attention? Weeh…
N1 was obsessed with how many likes or comments he did or didn’t get from his followers. His network or fanbase was built off of that. It’s all about that attention… if a pic didn’t get the likes he was after he would delete it quickly.
Ollie
really??
pathetical that is..
That is so sad 😩
Although possibly it’s more of anger to you. A lot of people think a hit on those buttons is required but I came of that rubbish because it can become addictive to even the normal human.
A question I have is can you explain what it feels like when fuel is high (your behaviour) and when it’s low please?
See articles to come.
No praise no approval. Detrimental to a Narcs mental health. If they don’t tell me how good I am, it means I’m bad and nobody cares. If they tell me then I’m good again. The negative self dialogue is always running in the background whether it’s admitted or not. It is easier to live a life of bad behavior because it matches the internal dialogue. They were told that it wasn’t good enough or wasn’t right so many times and they flipped from black to white so many times in their parent(s) eyes that they had to constantly fight to stay good or white. To stay good in someone’s eyes all the time is hard because nobody is perfect. It is an unrealistic expectation. The child tries so hard to squeeze out the approval and just wants to be good. The child thinks I am good, I am nice, I am kind, I am not the bad things you say I am. I can prove it. Alas, the parent (s) continue to flip the child from good to bad status. Eventually the child gives up. It is easier to be bad. Therefore I will show everyone. I will, lie, cheat, steal, crush, annihilate anyone or anything that stands in my way to prove I am superior. I am not bad. I am good, see all that I have accomplished? Doesn’t this make me special and superior and the best, surely I must be white/good now, Everyone around me must recognize it. That’s the vicious circle. Why didn’t anyone recognize it? They hate me, they are jealous, they are out to get me. But, that would line up with that negative dialogue that’s constantly playing in the background. I must crush that dialogue. I will control someone else and prove my power. I will love bomb someone and they will love me, proving I am good. In a constant state of flux. If I put everyone else in that position I am in control. I do not fail. I call the shots. I don’t need anything or anyone. They need me. I don’t know who I am. I need them to tell me. If they are not telling me then I must not have met the conditions. If I meet the conditions I will be okay. Tell me how charming and lovely I am. Okay I knew I was right. Conditions are met, I am good again. Around and around we go. Thanks Mom and Dad.
Does this mean that if you don’t score it is a disaster?
Not being noticed or reacted to is a disaster.
Who would ever ignor you Mighty Oz?
Only a fool eh Ah Oh?
True that! I would never let the green smoke affect me. I would just hold my breath and wave my arms frantically in the air. You will have my full attention, well at least until I past from holding my breath.
Agony.