The 20 Cries of the Victim

20-cries-of

 

We do not think of ourselves as victims, to do so would be weak and we are not weak. You are. We are better than you. We do however feel put upon, hard done by and persecuted and it is you that does these things in order to victimise us. Evidencing our legendary double standards, we do not consider ourselves as victims as this does not accord with our sense of superiority, but we like to portray a victim mentality because doing so serves our purposes. There are many things that we say which evidence this mentality and when you hear them you should know that we are looking for you to respond. We want reassurance, praise, an admission of fault from you, confirmation that we are brilliant, an apology and for you to do what we want you to do. Playing the victim card allows us to gain fuel from sympathy and compassion, assistance when we do not want to do something, absolution from responsibility and preventing you from doing something we do not want you to do. Here are twenty cries of apparent victimhood.

  1. You make my life so difficult.
  2. Why are you treating me like this?
  3. You never try to understand me,
  4. What about me?
  5. What am I going to do now?
  6. How’s that supposed to make me feel?
  7. You are meant to look after me.
  8. It’s not my fault.
  9. I can’t help the way I am.
  10. Why must you be so difficult with me over this?
  11. You never listen to me.
  12. You always make it about you, never about me.
  13. You never do what I want.
  14. You don’t love me like you should.
  15. You never do what I want.
  16. You never let me speak.
  17. You always treat me like a fool.
  18. You are the reason for all of my problems.
  19. You are trying to ruin my life.
  20. Why do you do this to me?

Watch out for these comments from our kind because they are the foreshadowing of further manipulation of you.

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9 thoughts on “The 20 Cries of the Victim”

  1. I’m in love with your writing H G. I’m addicted to reading your words. You have given me the most in-depth and accurate insight into narcissism, and I could not be more grateful. Without you, I would still be drowning in my narcissists abuse. You’ve saved me. Thank you so much.

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  2. Projection. He was excellent at it ! He would always remark how I lived in a victim mentality at all times. Irony.

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  3. I remember very clearly when my ex narc accused me, looking like a poor beaten dog, of spitting on his feelings for me. We were breaking up and he already had his next primary source ready. And I was the heartless bitch spitting on his feelings for me. That sentence did make me laugh.

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  4. When you understand it is childhood trauma that builds these creatures…you step away from the child.
    We jump into relationships too quickly (recommend wait 2 yrs to observe before thinking about a relationship)
    Be the grown up not the parent or child. (Transactional analysis)

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  5. Do you also use a lot of “I was about to…” or “I was going to…”
    like ‘I was about to set up a date for our wedding but you just said something disrespectful, so now I dont think I will”

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  6. intelavatar, I am not persuaded, that it is only a childhood trauma. Maybe it is only some kind of character trait too. To be a manipulative person is an ability which is grounded in your genetic too. Even a lot of animals have this ability too. Think of the cuckoo for example. Do not make the fault to think it is only caused by childhood trauma. I agree with you, that we jump into relationship too quickly.

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