The Narcissistic Truths – No. 233

EVERYWHEREYOU GOYOU WILLHEAROUR TUNE

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51 thoughts on “The Narcissistic Truths – No. 233”

  1. Indeed, my ex narc used music a lot to convey messages throughout our relationship. One song was always associated with sex during the love bombing stage, so even now whenever I hear it I can’t help but think of the amazing sex we had. Interesting he chose ‘Creep’ by Radiohead as his daily song of choice to play during devaluation

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    1. Hi sweetsoul, that’s no surprise, look at the lyrics.
      He shows his struggle in this song and it shows how he feels about himself.
      That song says it all. They devaluate because they can’t stand the emptiness inside of them. They push everyone away.
      They realize that their victims are to good for them:

      Song:
      When you were here before
      Couldn’t look you in the eye
      You’re just like an angel
      Your skin makes me cry
      You float like a feather
      In a beautiful world
      And I wish I was special
      You’re so fuckin’ special
      But I’m a creep, I’m a weirdo.
      What the hell am I doing here?
      I don’t belong here.
      I don’t care if it hurts
      I want to have control
      I want a perfect body
      I want a perfect soul
      I want you to notice
      When I’m not around
      You’re so fuckin’ special
      I wish I was special
      But I’m a creep, I’m a weirdo.
      What the hell am I doing here?
      I don’t belong here.

      Liked by 1 person

      1. I know Constantia, such an apt choice on his part! I Googled the lyrics post discard and it made sooo much sense, especially after having found HG and really understanding what I’d been involved with.

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    2. Ive always loved that song creep by radiohead and everytime its on my lithium station it reminds me of my narc. Its funny it came up in this thread.

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      1. Omg it was my narcs favourite song he used to blast it out . I used to wonder if he knew he was a narcissist but now I know he did , the words are say it all .

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  2. Freddy Krueger.
    I am afraid to close my eyes.
    I am afraid of staying awake.
    I am afraid of stepping out my door.
    I am afraid to stay in my home.
    You are everywhere yet nowhere.
    You are real.
    You win.

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  3. For now…… for maybe a little while… this is far too true….
    But….. ohhhh for different reasons than u might think. Golden period wishing and reminiscing…..Um… no! Certainly not. It’s a different kind of involuntary obsession/in progress exorcism….only because i can’t believe how much he ruined my life…and i was somehow too stupid not to see…. and the fact i share 4 kids w him…so he is always tormenting me in this way…..
    But never ever ever do i ever fantasize w getting back with him ever. No no no no. Nightmare.
    But he remains …. in other ways… i wish i could purge him and his effects from my mind and existence…… but it’s not so easy….. he ruined me in so many ways…. crushed me… still trying to pick up the pieces . I will say the interim of learning and healing has been at times quite pleasant anyway…. it has afforded me a bit of travel luxury…. in Miami at present… getting ready for a cruise to bahamas…. and then a jaunt to key west w my friend from belize! Former miss Belize beauty queen! And for this i am grateful…. a respite from the constant misery he is in my life!
    HG!

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  4. Mine was a mediocre musician, so music was a huge part of our lives. Our song seems to be on the radio all the time right now. Switched to TuneIn BBC Radio 2 to avoid it.

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  5. Have not been able to log on to my Spotify since I left. Have to change channels on the radio all the time. My lists are filled with memories but one day I will log on and delete them all. Yes… I hear you HG…. every little thing you write here is the work of true N.

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  6. Mr Tudor, you’re a bit like Beethoven. You provide us with so many emotions through your writing despite not being able to feel them deeply yourself like Beethoven who was still able to compose some masterpiece music despite being completely deaf.

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    1. HG are you in the mafia? Thatd explain everything 😂 seriously you do know how to create mystery lol maybe i better not know 🤔

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    2. No evidence he was completely death according to my grade school instructor. However, he was in love with Bach because he was blind, Betthoven, hearing impairment after 30 he would debate with kids that didn’t give a crappie. Lol, Mozart the best composer of all time.(his perception) Geesh, he was so passionate I remember my class mate would say screw Mozart, the instructor would loose it. Killed it for me.

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      1. Curious..I do play piano as well..do you play classical music? In regards your willy banjo playing( as according to google definition) it is definitevly not appealing…

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      2. Yes I play classical music as well…Chopin and Mozart my favourites.. I know your banjo playing is just for you…but still it is not appealing…Are you “dark” now or “light”????? Feels like you are a little bit dark today? No offence…

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      3. I like Mozart, he was a genius and influenced Beethoven considerably. I am not as keen on Chopin. Which of Mozart’s prolific output do you like the most?
        Interesting that you consider me dark, perhaps it arises from what is going to happen over the next few days.

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      4. I agree with you..piano sonata 11.. Mov.3 Turkish March…yes I sense you as a little bit dark now…I certainly didn’t need to know about your banjo playing…your answer surprised me…you are always very polite when you answer..What is going to happen over the next days???

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      5. I know it was stated as a joke HG…you have a great sense of humor…although sometimes is hard to understand it…Which is your favourite classical? You mean things have to get done here on your blog ? Private life? Work related?

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      6. I am pleased you realised it was a joke Superxena.

        I would describe it as a toss-up between Beethoven’s Piano Sonata 14 in C sharp Minor and
        Rimsky-Korsakov’s Scheherazade Symphonic Suite Op 35

        Professionally.

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      7. Beethoven’s piano sonata 14:) delicious taste…Moonlight…I like it as well. Quite a contrast with Rimsky-Korsakov’s symphony…quite intense…powerful… I see…I do not know anything about your job..although I have asked several times..but I hope whatever you have to get done…gets done soon.. Perhaps next time kan you play the piano for me..you can record Moonlight for me? I bet you are not going to post this comment on your blog😉too..compromising…Some of your blogers might get curious😉

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      8. I kind of was suspecting yesterday that your good mood had to do with the devaluation of your poor girlfriend. 😦 Let her go, for heaven’s sake. Or creature’s sake. Or. …

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  7. Interesting music thread, I love baroque music and the harpsichord. I also appreciate the banjo, perhaps a little bluegrass is in order for you HG. I feel sorry for whoever is getting discarded, try not to be too cruel. You might like listening to Rainbow Connection (Kermit the frog on banjo) …or, it might make you puke.

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  8. Ok, I am feeling rather stupid. I looked up willy banjo and realized it isn’t a banjo at all. My narc needs his herbal medicine too.

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  9. HG, perhaps the next few days don’t have to be as dark. I challenge you to be honest with the situation, if you are discarding someone. Try to do it gently as possible.

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  10. They also use movies. Mine liked to say we were like 50 shades of grey. It was embarrassing to hear him say that. He related to the power but the sex…no way. Only in his dreams maybe. I felt sorry for him when he made the comparison. Then I realized he hadn’t even seen the movie and was getting all the information about the movie from his new primary source. Then out of the blue he wanted to try tantric sex. That idea came from her too. Maybe smaller movement gave the illusion that he could perform. He certainly had the gaze down. God, I sound so bitter. Whatever stage of healing I’m in…I hate it. It’s very unattractive. Even to myself!

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  11. I’m going to go in a different direction here. Would you expect any less? I am now “tuned in” to spotting narcissism miles off as I have educated myself by HG Tudor. I will no longer dance to their “tune” as it doesn’t sound like music to my ears. I will literally stick with the music industry as they have such a variety of tunes to enjoy and relate to. The only tune I would actually consider dancing to is that of the moderator. That would be a striptease. (Although stripping to beethoven, hmmm) Yes, my husband knows, yes we each get one celebrity crush. Mines HG. Deal with it. 😍

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  12. you think you’re gonna to live your life alone
    in darkness
    and seclusion
    yeah I know
    you’ve been out there
    tried to mix with those animals
    and it just left you full of humiliated confusion
    so you stagger back home
    and wait for nothing
    but the solitary refinement of your room spits you back out onto the street
    and now you’re desperate
    and in need of human contact
    and then
    you meet me
    and you whole world changes
    because everything I say is everything you’ve ever wanted to hear
    so you drop all your defenses and you drop all your fears
    and you trust me completely
    I’m perfect
    in every way
    cause I make you feel so strong and so powerful inside
    you feel so lucky
    but your ego obscures reality
    and you never bother to wonder why
    things are going so well
    you want to know why?

    cause I’m a liar
    yeah I’m a liar
    I’ll tear your mind out
    I’ll burn your soul
    I’ll turn you into me
    I’ll turn you into me
    cause I’m a liar, a liar
    a liar, a liar

    I’ll hide behind a smile
    and understanding eyes
    and I’ll tell you things that you already know
    so you can say
    I really identify with you, so much
    and all the time that you’re needing me
    is just the time that I’m bleeding you
    don’t you get it yet?
    I’ll come to you like an affliction
    and I’ll leave you like an addiction
    you’ll never forget me
    you want to know why?
    cause I’m a liar
    yeah I’m a liar
    I’ll rip your mind out
    I’ll burn your soul
    I’ll turn you into me
    I’ll turn you into me

    cause I’m a liar, a liar
    liar, liar, liar, liar

    I don’t know why I feel the need to lie
    and cause you so much pain
    maybe it’s something inside
    maybe it’s something I can’t explain
    cause all I do
    is mess you up and lie to you

    I’m a liar
    oh, I am a liar

    if you’ll give me one more chance
    I swear that I will never lie to you again
    because now I see the destructive power of a lie
    they’re stronger than truth
    I can’t believe I ever hurt you
    I swear
    I will never to you lie again, please
    just give me one more chance
    I will never lie to you again
    I swear
    that I will never tell a lie
    I will never tell a lie
    no, no
    ha ha ha ha ha hah haa haa haa haaa
    sucker
    sucker!
    oh, sucker
    I am a liar
    yeah, I am a liar
    yeah I like it
    I feel good
    ohh I am a liar
    yeah
    I lie
    I lie
    I lie
    oh, I lie
    oh I lie
    I lie
    yeah
    ohhh I’m a liar
    I lie
    yeah
    I like it
    I feel good
    I’ll lie again
    and again
    I’ll lie again and again
    and I’ll keep lying
    I promise.
    Liar, Henry Rollins, will forever be the song I associate with him

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  13. If it’s a discard.. You’re going to fire someone..? And since it’s ‘dark’ … you’re going to fire someone (a good worker) based upon something untruthful..?

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  14. JAR OF HEARTS

    Songwriters: Christina Perri;Drew Lawrence;Barrett Yeretsian

    I know I can’t take one more step towards you
    Cause all that’s waiting is regret
    And don’t you know I’m not your ghost anymore?
    You lost the love I loved the most

    I learned to live, half-alive
    And now you want me one more time

    And who do you think you are?
    Runnin’ ’round leaving scars
    Collecting your jar of hearts
    And tearing love apart

    You’re gonna catch a cold
    From the ice inside your soul
    So don’t come back for me
    Who do you think you are?

    I hear you’re asking all around
    If I am anywhere to be found
    I have grown too strong
    To ever fall back in your arms

    I’ve learned to live, half-alive
    Now you want me one more time

    Who do you think you are?
    Runnin’ ’round leaving scars
    Collecting your jar of hearts
    And tearing love apart

    You’re gonna catch a cold
    From the ice inside your soul
    So don’t come back for me
    Who do you think you are?

    Dear, it took so long
    Just to feel alright
    Remember how to put back
    The light in my eyes

    I wish I had missed
    The first time that we kissed
    ‘Cause you broke all your promises
    And now you’re back you don’t get to get me back

    Who do you think you are?
    Runnin’ ’round leaving scars
    Collecting your jar of hearts
    And tearing love apart

    You’re gonna catch a cold
    From the ice inside your soul
    So don’t come back for me
    Don’t come back at all

    And who do you think you are?
    Runnin’ ’round leaving scars
    Collecting your jar of hearts
    And tearing love apart

    You’re gonna catch a cold
    From the ice inside your soul
    Don’t come back for me
    Don’t come back at all

    Who do you think you are?
    Who do you think you are?
    Who do you think you are?

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  15. I thought Willy Bango was hilarious … I have just actually lol’ed (hate normal use of lol, used as a mask)… Anyway my Narc doesn’t like music at all, thinks pointless .. Is that part of being emotionless? … Weird since been with him, I don’t listen to music as much as I did… I was quite a talented piano player as a teenager, Moonlight Sonata being my best piece until I discovered him and Banjo at 15 … Roll on 25+ years … Banjo my downfall again !! (Also have the 80’s Banjo biscuit song in my head now) x x

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