Set Me Free

SET

Why will you not let me go? I just want to be on my own, I have had enough of you. Is it too much to ask that I am able to lead my own life free of your presence and influence? I need to this for myself. I do not want to be with you anymore. I had to get out. I have other things I want to do and they do not involve you. In truth, I have been wanting to do this for some time but you always managed to prevent me from going. There was always some reason that came up to stop me from breaking free of you. Every time I girded my loins in order to achieve my freedom you would do or say something that would stop me from going. I don’t know how you manage to do it. It is a fearsome power you have when I stop to think about it. It infuriates me actually, the way you manage to keep this hold over me. It is as if you know exactly what I need and you just have to say the right words. It is like weaving a spell, yes, that is it, you are a sorcerer and when you utter the incantation I am stopped from getting away. You freeze me where I stand or you take control of my decisions and actions. Sometimes your dark magic creates a wall that I cannot see but it is there and I cannot get past it. I despise the fact that you are able to do this to me. It should not be like this. You should not be allowed to control me. I know I cannot expect someone like you to even think that what you do is wrong because all you ever do is think about yourself. I have realised this; eventually. It has come at some cost because I always gave you the benefit of the doubt. I have tried to understand you but so many times it is like trying to play a vinyl record on an ipod. Impossible. I still do not understand why you have done what you have done and perhaps I never will, thank goodness there are other people who I can turn to. I know they will not do what you have done to me. You really are inhuman at times.

What’s that? I gave you no reason for why I left? Why would I? You do not deserve an explanation. Why would I give you the pleasure of seeing me having to explain myself to you? Why would I give you a further opportunity to cast another spell and stop me in my tracks once again. I just had to get away from you but look where we are now. You just will not let it happen will you. Why not just get on with your own life? You are no use to me anymore. Is that the reason? It is part of the reason, yes. No, I am not going to tell you more because you will just use it as a way to worm your way back in and get hold of me once again because that is what you do. It is no good denying it, you have done it so many times. If I give the proverbial inch you take a yard. I don’t know why you are shaking your head because it is true. I don’t care if it hurts, how hurt do you think I am after what you did to me. I had to leave you. There was no hope for any other way. I had to escape you otherwise, well, I do not want to consider what might have happened if I had remained. Just let me go will you. Why do you keep contacting me? I have nothing to say to you. I do not want to speak to you, I do not want to exchange messages, I do not want to see you. No, I do not want to talk about it. No, I do not want to sort matters out. No I do not want to try to resolve our differences. There is no point. I have moved on. Yes, I have moved on. I thought I needed you, I really did but it turns out that this is not the case any longer. I have broken free of your grip and believe me it has been a long time coming. They all know by the way, my friends, your friends, our colleagues and families. I had to tell them because I knew this is what you would do. I knew how dangerous you are and I had to warn them to watch out for you because I just knew you would try and get to me through them. You have done it before but I anticipated this move. I am good at reading you. I have had plenty of practice you see and I always know what you are going to do and say. Your predictability has given me such an advantage now and I am using to ensure I stay away from you, so why don’t you just let go? How can this possibly help you or me? You keep clinging on but I don’t understand why? There is no point in your doing this. There is no point in keep ringing me, although how you got my number I am not sure. Don’t hang around my neighbourhood either, yes I have seen you from the window and my neighbours have told me you have been doing it. It is no good denying it, I know what you are like. You are crazy, you are obsessed, I just need you to leave me alone. Please stop it. I am trying to move forward and you need to do the same. I don’t want to discuss the past. There is no point it is done. What’s that, you don’t like it when I do this, it as if I have changed into someone else. Well, I suppose I have, I have had to, in order to escape your influence. Look, this is getting nowhere, I have been civil with you for the sake of the other people here but it won’t last if you keep this up. Go, go now and leave me alone. Please. Just do it. Move on. You can find someone else, I am sure there is someone equally crazy who will take you with open arms. Don’t look like that, I am just telling you how it is. How can I just change like that? It isn’t me that has changed, it was you, you conned me, but I am not going through all of that now, I know what you are doing you are trying to keep me talking in the hope of persuading me, well it won’t work and besides, you really must go now because my new girlfriend will be here in a moment and I don’t want her to have to deal with you and your lunacy. Go.

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39 thoughts on “Set Me Free”

  1. Again, applies to both the narc point of view and the empath/narc victim point of view. We are Yin and Yang.

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    1. It does apply to both however we are the one (at least in my case and I guess for many like me) that we want to communicate sort things out and close the bloody case in a civil and grown up way. We don’t want to have our possessions held hostage nor do we want to have some unfinished business. We want to be mature and talk about what happened.. perhaps not right away but at least at some point. To clear the air and move forward. The difference is that they refuse closure (and to all of those who say ‘you can only get closure by yourself is bullshit’. I have had relationships before where you talk, hand over things and can have occasional talks/catching up and be friends in the sense that if we run into each other we can be civil).
      The N in my case refuse to talk, hiding like a big baby, probably telling everybody he is a victim etc. but to be honest they all know. Perhaps not right away but if a person ONLY have a long list of ‘crazy women’ (oh God I even talked about this with him… and he said that he is too kind and loving and have NO IDEA why they all go nuts but of course that would never happen to us since I am such a normal person) the so called friends and family does know where the problem is.
      I consider myself a victim of this type of behavior. I now refuse to be a victim and instead reading my lists of BS he put me through and to be honest… I am doing far better in life and are happier, healthier and will strive. Him on the other hand has a miserable life and THANK GOD I did not give in and have a child with him. Im not talking about better life in regards to money or appearance, I’m talking about what matters… LOVE, real friends, freedom and a very calm environment. His life was a constant drama and I got sucked into it.. then he claimed I was the drama!! NO SHIT! I refused to accept all the shit and therefor I questioned everything… so I created drama out of his madness.
      I remember him saying that I was like a nuke that was very unpredictable.. HA HA right again… totally clueless that his behavior was totally unacceptable and that he did not take responsibility for ANYTHING.
      WOW… what a rant.. sorry… but it does feel good…and this keeps me from ever engaging (had a weak moment this morning and wanted to reach out (damn ever presence).
      Love and peace to us all today!

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  2. @ WEB… I have noticed the same, about many of HG’s writings! Can be perceived from both points of view… I also observe this in some of his illustrations as well ☯️

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    1. so we’ve figured that out! Maybe. Now…he’s not a lawyer and not a politician…hmmmmm. What could his profession be? 🙂

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      1. I know what he is, but he would never admit to it (an International Spy) 😎 LOL

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      2. Web
        Did I miss where he said he was not a Politician or Lawyer? I had so hoped he woukd be a Human Rights Lawyer lol.

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  3. It’s always from the narcissist perspective…HG, from a Greater’s perspective, when you seduce a new target and embed them, is there any part of you that believes ‘this might be the ever elusive “One”‘??

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  4. Lol…he is the one who texted me on the 22nd anniversary of our first date.. If i answered him, I would show him the same me. He would show me the same him (eventually) if I took bait. Omg HG. Blankface.

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    1. Not a spy but there are many different jobs within the service… so I guess it could be what he is doing.

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  5. Human Rights Lawyer…hehehehhee….yes, Down with the ACLU, totes.
    Now, let me get on with my witchy spells: sprinkles salt circles, burns white sage smudge, and says some gibberish incantation.

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      1. Of course! I can see those blood rituals going down. You are totally the male Welsh version of Countess Bathory.

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      2. Right? Everyone started wearing garlic and that just ruined the virgin blood. Now, one can only find it in those granola-earthy type shops.

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  6. I do think a HG does work for Queen and Country in some capacity … Sounds totally cheesy but would fit the MI’s profile detached, determined, ambitious, ruthless, emotionless … x x

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  7. How come I feel bad for my husband, that I have been separated from nearly 2 years. I know I can’t be with him, bc he literally drains me, but I feel bad that a person can be this way. We will go with out talking, then he will contact me, and I give into him, if it’s sex, money, or he needs to be picked up. But I’m so worried that he isn’t cared for. He’s older now, and we were together 7 years. The longest relationship he ever had. It’s hard for him to get new supply. They see through him or they don’t fit the bill. He’s hurt me in ways that I could never fathom. The knife has been repeatedly stabbed in my back. He has a narcissist mother, he grew up having to pretend everything was great, when in fact he was pushed to the side, never loved or nurtured the way he was supposed to be. He is a robot. And yet I still will do anything for him, bc it’s a sad existence. To only be able to feel something by sucking the life out of others. If he needs me, I am giving in but I no longer am affected by him. After he gets what he wants from me, I I do not take it as a sign that he loves me. He will never love. He cant hurt me anymore. I don’t bug him, I leave him alone. I stopped telling, writing him a long time ago about the hurt, the narcissism, the how could you, can I please have closure. Am I messed up? Am I enabling him?

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