On Trial

ON TRIAL

 

“Bring forth the next defendant,” my booming baritone declares from my elevated position. You find yourself being hauled and pushed by two of my lieutenants as the drag you up some stairs. The noise of a raucous crowd grows as you emerge blinking and anxious into the dock. Your eyes dart about the crowded courtroom as you look for recognisable faces but none are apparent. You see elements of familiarity, are those our friends and family, but they seem different in some way? You cannot quite work it out. You just see stroppy wax-like faces, mouths agape, a torrent of bilious noise raining down towards you, fingers jabbing the air, arms being waved frenetically. A seething mass of anticipation and disapproval. The crack of a gavel being wielded cuts through the cacophony and all eyes turn, including your own to me as I sit across and above from you. Attired in judicial robes in accordance with my status, I stare at you, eyes narrowed and you shrink back under this unwavering gaze.

“Well,” I announce, “What have you got to say for yourself?”

You frown, puzzled by this question. You do not even know why you are here. You cannot think straight as there is a throbbing sensation in the middle of your brow and a sickness rising and falling in your stomach. Your shaking hands grasp the rail of the dock but you remain silent.

“I said,” I declare in a louder voice, “what have you got to say for yourself?”

The assembled crowd begin to chant.

“What? What? What? What?”

The noise increases as those who have crammed into the courtroom lean forward creating walls of sneering and sardonic faces all around you. The galleries are packed with eager voyeurs and the noise cascades down on to you. The gavel once again interrupts the crowd and a hush descends. There is an air of expectancy as I and the crowd wait for you to speak. You feel a jab in your side as one of the lieutenants elbows you, a savage prompt for you to talk.

“I don’t understand why I am here,” you say. Your voice sounds weak and quiet but it is apparent that everyone has heard you as there is a collective intake of breath and then you hear the intermittent remarks thrown towards you.

“Idiot!”

“Shameful!”

“So disrespectful!”

“Fool!”

Your eyes go back to me and you see me draw myself up bristling with indignity.

“You don’t understand?” I boom. The crowd start to jabber.

“She doesn’t understand!” “She doesn’t understand!”

“Such impertinence, you should know why you are here,” I declare pointing the gavel at you. The noise of the crowd subsides a they crane forward to hear what you have to say.

“No, I don’t understand.”

“Well you ought to understand and you ought to be addressing me properly,” I continue.

“Sorry?”

“Ah you are sorry are you? What are you sorry for?” I ask seizing on your reply.

“Er I meant I didn’t understand what you meant.”

“Ah, yet another lack of understanding,” I announce to the sound of tutting from the crowd. You can see heads shaking all around you.

“Are you an idiot? A fool? A simpleton?” I ask.

“Certainly not.”

“Certainly not, my lord,” I reply with a smile which bears no warmth.

You frown still unsure what on earth you are doing in this place and who all these people are and most of all why is it that I am sat as a judge presiding over you. I give you an encouraging look. You look left and right feeling uncertain before you speak again.

“Certainly not, my lord.”

“At last some progress,” I say. The crowd nod in approval.

“So, I shall ask you again, what have you got to say for yourself?”

“I do not understand why I am here,” I raise my eyebrows in expectation, “my lord.”

“Well you should!” I explode in a sudden rage.

“Yes you should, yes you should,” repeats the crowd.

“Why am I here?” you say but your question is drowned out by the noise.

“A week of silent treatment,” I announce and slam the gavel down with a loud crack.

“What for?” you cry puzzled and alarmed. There is gasp from the crowd at your question.

“Two weeks for such impertinence,” I add.

“This is not fair.”

“Three weeks for challenging our authority,” I announce.

“You cannot judge me, this is ridiculous, I don’t even know why I am here, I do not know what I am accused of.”

“Three weeks of silent treatment and a dose of triangulation with a replacement of our choosing,” I cry with a gleeful look in my eyes.

“You cannot do this,” you assert.

“What?” I roar, “I can do as I please.”

“This must be against the law; this is not right.”

“I am the law!” I roar.

“Surely you should tell me what I have done?”

“I should not have to do anything that you say, I am the judge.”

“Then what about the jury, surely they should decide whether I am guilty or not, whatever it is I am accused of.”

I look reflective for a moment.

“Yes, you have a point, very well, I shall allow it,” I decree in a magnanimous tone, “never let it be said that this court is unfair. Ask the jury.”

I point towards the jurors sat on the right hand side and you notice them for the first time. They are all staring at you. In actual fact you see my face twelve times staring at you.

“Guilty!” announces the first juror.

“Wait, I haven’t even asked you what I am guilty of yet!” you protest.

“Guilty!” cries the second juror.

“Guilty!” shouts the third.

You shake your heard utterly bewildered by the announcement of these verdicts.

“This is preposterous, no charge has been read out to me, I have not entered a plea and there should be a trial. This is a joke!” you cry.

“Six months of gas lighting to run consecutively to the earlier sentence!” I holler above the braying of the crowd.

“This isn’t fair.”

The pronouncements of guilt continue to ring out as the crowd chant “Guilty, guilty, guilty!” at you.

A man leans into the dock from behind you, he thrusts a microphone under your nose.

“Hello, Ian Sim from the Daily Smear, how do you feel?”

“What?” you reply backing away as another microphone appears.

“Hello, Mark Mywords from the Global Liar, what’s it like to be such a horrible person?”

“I don’t know what you are talking about.”

“Hi, Ivor Stain from Channel Bias, do you think you can cope with this sentence?”

“May Day from Bad News, did your family make you do it?”

More faces lean into the dock, jostling with one another as questions are hurled at you. The crowd’s noisiness continues as its members drive one another into a frenzy. You see my face times twelve as the jurors leap up and down, hooting and laughing as they point and continue to yell “guilty” in your direction. Through it all you can hear my baritone as more and more punishments are added to the already burgeoning list and your head swims with the barrage of sounds. Faces blur, nausea sweeps across you and your heart hammers in your chest. You feel hot, you feel faint and arms grab you from either side and pull you along the dock.

“What’s happening, I don’t understand, what I am supposed to have done?” you murmur.

“Don’t worry,” says a calm voice and you turn your head to see an elegant lady stood next to you, the lieutenants who were once there having disappeared. Who is this woman? Where has she come from? You have never seen her before.

“Don’t worry,” she repeats, “I will take care of him for you,” she smiles and promptly lets you go. She strides from the dock towards me as you teeter at the top of the stairs, the darkness of the cells somewhere beneath you and then you topple forward and crash into the chasm below.

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26 thoughts on “On Trial”

  1. H.G.

    This post is as “Kafkaesque” as they come.

    Pam B

    On Apr 12, 2017 11:46 AM, “Knowing the Narcissist” wrote:

    > HG Tudor posted: ” “Bring forth the next defendant,” my booming baritone > declares from my elevated position. You find yourself being hauled and > pushed by two of my lieutenants as the drag you up some stairs. The noise > of a raucous crowd grows as you emerge blinking and ” >

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  2. I like the catchy names – Channel Bias, Mark My words, Global Liar, etc. Lol! I am sure this is exactly how it would be if I were to try and expose the narc to his faithful followers. Even on his fan pages, nothing but positive comments are allowed. It makes me nauseous and always will.

    On Apr 12, 2017 12:45 PM, “Knowing the Narcissist” wrote:

    > HG Tudor posted: ” “Bring forth the next defendant,” my booming baritone > declares from my elevated position. You find yourself being hauled and > pushed by two of my lieutenants as the drag you up some stairs. The noise > of a raucous crowd grows as you emerge blinking and ” >

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  3. I am in that stage.
    Serves me right to trust that love will always win…
    I am such an idiot.. that’ s for sure.

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    1. Maria you are far from an idiot. You didn’t understand what/who you were dealing with.
      There is one thing I learned at a young age what we say to ourselves can build up ir tear down. It is easy to listen to the world, to see this is how things should be. When I reality it is nothing but an illusion, a lie that is projected to cover what is really going on inside.
      You just made a choice and now you are gaining knowledge to make another choice. Be kind to yourself, speak to yourself as you would another to build up and not tear down.
      What we say to ourselves resenates far longer then what is said to us, this is why what is said to a child that then repeats those words to themselves becomes a truth, the foundation. They then make a choice on how to deal with this foundation and begin to build upon it creating their world.

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  4. I don’t know if anyone’s experienced this but I can sniff out a narc at ten paces ( Ty HG) people who don’t have a grasp think I’m still emotionally disturbed because of my abuse when I try to explain to them what’s happening in their relationship .. The lovely Flickitina is the only one who got it . It’s soo frustrating .. !

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    1. Notsosad
      I have identified to a few what they are dealing with and directed them here (of course they dont know my name or that I contribute). One told me that I was always so sensible but you cant believe everything you read and that she was worried that I was getting caught up in a cult. I laughed, but she wont be if she ever realizes that she and her husband are not just going through a rough patch for the hundredth time. How is Flickatina? I know she had some worry with her son and I hope they are working through it. She is missed.

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      1. Cult NA ! l laughed out loud at that.:)

        This is what I meant by my first comment though, I had a run in with a now ex friend of mine last week after her lower narc coerced her into setting up a surprise meeting between me & him. I told her for months I didn’t want to meet him & the reasons why but she said it was all in my head .. I knew it wasn’t & er accidentally on purpose ruined their plans for me 🙂 It was quite good fun toying with her narc for a few days, not for my friend obviously but then she couldn’t see what was happening, I felt totally in control, suddenly a narcissist had become my play thing and play him I did ! . Sadly she’s taken his side & I won’t be part of her life while he’s around. I messaged HG & he confirmed my thoughts (thanks again HG) so I know I was right.

        And now..

        I have another friend who’s moved in with a mid ranger, she called me on Monday & the conversation as always came round to him, once again the flags are there and the alarm bells are ringing loud & clear for me, but I’m scared to tell her, I think even if I directed her here she wouldn’t take my advice because she thinks she’s the one with the problem.. Sigh..

        HG & the blog have lifted a veil from my eyes, it feels amazing but at the same time sad that I’ll have to watch other people I care about suffer.

        Flickitinas good thank you NA I’ll definitely tell her you’re asking after her. 🙂 I hope you are too. ..

        NNS xx

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      2. How lovely to be missed! 🙂

        I am ok thanks – still having some issues but he is with a counsellor now and seems to be making progress. He’s just got a bit lost but he is ok. I should really be in Florida now but I certainly wasn’t going to leave him on his own – I don’t regret my decision and I would never rub it in his face – but I do wish I was there…sitting by the pool, with a JD and my kindle!

        Although I have become utterly, utterly obsessed with Witcher 3 on my xbox. I have genuinely turned into a teenage boy!

        Hope you are all ok and staying narc free – except HG – he is the only narc allowed in our lives!

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      3. Flickatina
        Good to hear things are better, youve been missed. Witcher 3 on Xbox? I’ll stick with Narcfest 4-The Triangulation Series on MyBox thanks. Better go put on my Vitriol Shield after that given the current climate lol …………cover me!……………

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