The Heart Hooks – No. 15

YOU AREBETTERTHANALL THE OTHERS

This instantly flattering comment is designed to appeal to a person’s need to be regarded in a good light. Better than that however is the fact that we are comparing you to other people, other intimate partners that we have had – all the previous girlfriends, partners, husbands, wives, co-habitees – whatever they may have been described as, none of them compare to you. You outshine them, you are better looking, more interesting, more caring, you connect more readily with us. We will dress this up in a hundred different ways in order to demonstrate that you are truly better than all of the others.

Of course many people would respond to such a comment with,

“Oh you are just saying that” or “I bet you say that to all the girls” and of course you are right, not that we would admit it. No, instead this comment, unoriginal as it is, is actually designed as a heart hook because it is just the opening comment. By telling you that you are better than all the others we are achieving a number of things:-

  1. We are admitting that there have been others before you. Now, that may not come as a great surprise as it is nearly always the case that a person has some history. However, our histories tend to be more extensive. By making this point about you being better than the others it allows us to state that we have told you about all of the others. Whilst we may not have given you chapter and verse, from our perspective, we have told you that there were others before you and therefore should you attempt to challenge us about this at some point, we can readily reject what you are stating.
  2. We are flattering you and you will feel drawn to us by this, no matter how ‘pat’ the comment may seem. We know that a compliment is still a compliment and you like to receive them.
  3. We are actually signalling to you how we regard you at this stage, albeit you will not realise this. At this juncture, as we have targeted you and made you the hope for becoming our new IPPS, we do actually consider you to be better than all those who have come before you. We see you as the Bright New Hope that will succeed where others have failed. You will provide us with the positive fuel that we want, the character traits and the residual benefits and you will do so in a manner which is superior to what has gone before.
  4. By stating this comment we are inviting you to politely challenge it, through modesty, regarding it as a trite assertion which opens the door for us to explain ourselves. This is when we come into our own as we explain to you why you are better than those which have gone before you. Aided by our increasing infatuation as our Bright New Hope we are able to reel off all of those traits about you which we adore, regard as attractive and that we cherish. We can tell you about how compassionate you are, how your skill in your job amazes us, how your extensive social network impresses us, how beautiful you are and so on. This somewhat cheesy hook line is actually paving the way for us to follow-up with a tsunami of flattery which will of course support our earlier assertion and make you feel wonderful also.

When this comment is said to you, we mean it. We do see you as better than all of the others. We will tell you why you are better and why they are worse and this is all part of drawing you to us. Unfortunately for you, you will be joining those others in the fullness of time.

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10 thoughts on “The Heart Hooks – No. 15”

  1. “You are different than all the others because you are the only one who has ever been a true threat to my wife. She asks if I’ve talked to you all the time”…..I believed it. Colossal idiot.

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  2. So it’s……
    IPPS A New Hope
    To
    IPPS Enter The Sith
    To
    IPPS Death Star
    I thought you were kinda Darth Maulish….Thank God you don’t look like Darth Sidious.
    If you said this ♥🎣to me I’d immediately ask why?

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  3. I’m almost 2 years out of the relationship with the father of my child and oh boy I have made every mistake in the book trying to deal with him.

    I am completely healed now, I probably feel towards him the way he feels about everyone else.. nothing! No more fuel from me. It’s been rough and I spent months feeling raging anger towards him and his rabid dogs of a family but I’m free and educated now. He was so fucking boring😀

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    1. Ellie
      Good for you. You may have made mistakes, but the bottom line is you took action in some way and it has paid off. There is no healing or moving on without action.

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  4. Thank you. You have to take drastic action because it’s a drastic situation. I can now meet him and do the exchange with our child and walk away feeling nothing but joy that he is out of my life. I used to be triggered for days.

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  5. The irony is that i hear him saying all the time:
    ” It has never be another woman, and it will never be..”

    😐

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  6. HG,
    Whenever a devaluation was happening he would say,” you are worse than my 2 ex wives, they never spoke to me like you, etc” I, of course would respond, “how can you say that after all you have told me about them and how they treated you” of course he, at that time, did not remember or played ignorant. He knew this really got to me and would always do this. After awhile I would just laugh and say, “But of course, we are all crazy and you are the only victim” That comment for some reason irritated him and he would defend it. Any reason why? He’s an UMRN.
    Thanks for another great one!

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    1. Because he knew you did not mean it in a genuine manner, thus it was challenge fuel and his irritation was caused to assert his perceived superiority.

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