The Igniters of Fury – No. 14
16 thoughts on “The Igniters of Fury – No. 14”
Vent Your Spleen! (Please see the Rules in Formal Info)
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Ha .. my ex was absolutely good for less than nothing when our baby son had pneumonia and had to stay in an oxygen tent at the hospital. He said there was no sense in both of us losing sleep so he stayed home. I think I’ve previously mentioned how he just happened to volunteer for offshore duty at the time my C-Section was scheduled. I was all alone in having his child until his mother could get there the next day. I remember telling him I wish he had fallen off the oil rig and drowned.
If i would tell you of my narcs behaviour on this topic would certainly raise your hair strait up..
i cannot tell ” details” here because are too morbid..
but just a clue..:
when one very very close person in my imminent family died .. ( with a shocking death) the narcs got infiurated at my shocked grieving state…
i cut all contacts.. . and becsuse of that he sent death treaths..
I tended to him when he was sick – even blew his nose for him lol! He really liked the special treatment.
YES! My mother fell ill and subsequently sustained a large laceration on her leg. On the first morning of her hospital stay, I asked the narc I was dating if when he comes to the hospital, would he please bring me a sandwich and a cup of coffee and he feigned an injury and said, “Mama and I both need you now”, so not only did I not get my sandwich and coffee, but now I felt torn between tending to my legitimately sick mother and that asshole! He’s the only person I ever dated that I wish I never met. I’m of the school of thought that I grow with every experience, good or bad, but with him…I feel worse off for having ever become entangled with him. If he were on fire, I wouldn’t even piss on him.
Nope.. he never took care of his dying father nor his injured child. Refused to even go to visit the father in hospital since he was to busy with his work. .. but then he claimed he was there all the time. In the case of his daughter breaking her leg.. he called me at work to sort it out… again too busy and did not have time. The children are just for show .. sure he loves them .. but only when they give him fuel.
I took care of the father and his daughter … but today all my efforts, time, love and money are gone .. he took it all. The father loved me.. so did the daughter.. he messed up so bad that I have no contact what so ever with them.
I miss the kids every day..
Hello HG,
Yes, it has to be all about you, and that is ok. You can’t behave differently if we include circumstances. It would be really illogical. I think that instinct for maintaining forces you on it.
You must exist. As a child there was no recognition or confirmed your existence.
And now as an adult you are starving for recognition.
You are angry, jealous etc. I don’t think that you are jealous because of what other person have (beautifull girl, car, house…) but what that mean.
Ohhh yes. The tHiNg’S (God)father got very sick. Elderly. Alone. The tHiNg Got a family friend to nurse him. To move in with the old man and all. The tHiNg lived alone at the time (highly unusual!), and so did the Godfather. The tHiNg was too busy, suddenly, to go see his father let alone help nurse him. Funny though, after the old man died the tHiNg had no problems taking his money! Oh, and then paid the family friend off. Hmmmm. FFS! It truly never ends does it…
Truth as always HG. Here is perfect example of the meme:
In 2003 I had 3 major surgeries. All 3 required hospital stays for 7 days or longer. My mother came to the hospital for the third one for around 20 minutes. She said “you know I hate hospitals and I’m not going to sit here all day. I mean you are on heavy drugs and what’s the point? You are supposed to be resting and you have plenty of people to take care of you here.” She of course called everyone to tell this news and how she has been taking care of me and giving up all social activities….Hah!
2 days later was my 1st year anniversary. I begged the doctors to let me go home. I come home the next day and I get a knock on my door. It’s my great uncle on my Fathers side. He says “I went to your parents home to stay there because I have a 2 day job. She said I should come and stay here because your house is bigger.”
I explained that I just got home from the hospital and had 38 staples and that it was my 1st year anniversary. He being a narcissist too said, “oh that’s okay, I will stay in the extra room and not be a bother. You won’t even know I’m here. I just need some dinner and i’ll retire to my room.”
I said, ” my husband is having a 5 star restaurant deliver dinner for us and I cannot cook because I had major surgery and I’m sore and tired.” He said “that’s okay, just make me some soup.”
I being the empath said okay. I had my husband make the soup. We went upstairs with the dinner and ate it in our bedroom. Horrid memory for my 1st anniversary. Comical now.
Narcissist family members do not care you are sick. I hate my parents for seeing my house as theirs, my anniversary unimportant and knowing I was still very sick and trying to recover with no care about my feelings.
When I called her and asked wtf that night She said “if they sent you home you are better, why do you want to get mad at me? It’s not like you and your hubs are going anywhere anyway.” I said, “we want to be alone mom, i almost died and they let me out early just for this occassion. Why didn’t you give up your extra room”? She said “first of all its not like you can have sex or anything and secondly because I like to lay in that bedroom and watch television at night.” I said “mom its not about having sex its about being together and I am sick. i wanted to just be with my hubs alone and talk and reminisce. To celebrate that I’m alive.”
She said “you dont know what sick is. I had surgery and it was way worse…blah, blah, blah (she’s the victim and had it soooo much worse than me)… and you are selfish and a spoiled brat.” Slams the phone down on me.
Unbelievable. You should hear the story of my wedding.
OMG!!!! That is horrific! I feel for you on that one jaeger. Dare say though, its only one of your many narc stories….
Thx Lisa. I could write a book. Not sure what genre it would be….oh yes, horror stories.
Just keep it simple jaeger. Like “Living With The Dark Side”. Sounds like you really did!! I tended to be a bit oblivious with my upbringing, although I knew it wasnt right. Its been my adult life thats been my problem. Its still a work in progress, but definately getting better. I hope yours is too. Happy HGing!!
Hi Jaeger,
Fortunately, we have the knowledge why narcissists do and say those things now. I can relate to most of what you have written, especially to their words (“you know I hate hospitals…”, “I’m not going to sit here all day…what’s the point?”). When they need help, they expect us to be there for them and take care of everything.
“She of course called everyone to tell this news and how she has been taking care of me and giving up all social activities….Hah!”
They do not take care of ill people at all but they tell anyone who will listen to all the things they supposedly do and how they ‘sacrifice’ their lives for others. They are believed without hesitation.
If they already know your situation and they still insist they want to stay at your house, it is not necessary to explain yourself. I say No. I’d rather be direct and straightforward than passive-aggressive like most people I know. I would rather hear an honest answer because I am not good at reading between the lines.
Jaeger
Would love to hear the wedding story if and whenever youre ready.
NA
It’s pretty long. I’m not sure if HG would allow it. 👰🏼🤵🏼💐
OMG Jaeger
How horrendous, and i know the feeling though.
But getting it from my family makes me go on denial… deny to myself that they are really that way.
😢
Oh I used to minimize their behavior. Not anymore.