The Narcissistic Truths – No. 28


48 thoughts on “The Narcissistic Truths – No. 28

  1. Jenna says:

    But my ex loves to be alone?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      That’s what he tells you as part of his manipulation of you.

      1. Jenna says:

        Thank you.
        But once, he went for a long wknd vacation via van with 5 of his roomates to another state. When he returned, he told me that he could not stand being with them for more than 6 hrs (the van ride was longer than 6 hrs). And after 6 hrs, he needs to be alone. Is this common of narcs or is this also a lie?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          He “told you”. Therein lies the clue.

          1. Jenna says:

            He ‘told me’ – does that mean it was a lie? Are you saying that absolutely everything that narcs ‘tell us’ are lies? There is no ounce of truth in anything? Not even a small percentage?

          2. HG Tudor says:

            It was a lie yes. Not everything we say is a lie, but we do lie a lot.

          3. Jenna says:

            Thank you. What percentage of statements coming frm a mid-range somatic narcissist should i consider true, roughly, in your opinion HG?

      2. Years Gone says:

        So after 27 dating years, including a brain trauma 11 years ago that increased his hostility and eliminated his sense of humor the relationship was struggling. Neither was happy, nor made attempts to spend time together. Silent treatments went on for months. Only a handful of actual discussions of relationship repair were had in all those years. The last discussion was 1/2015, where he said he wasn’t happy and was sure I wasn’t either. He didn’t say we should stop being a couple but did say that I knew he would be fine being alone. Hurtful! I don’t matter? Won’t miss my affection, friendship, confidant? One last silent treatment started 1/2016. While he was giving me that silent treatment I was told (unconfirmed) that he’d been cheating with a mutual friends ex wife, also a friend. We’d spent couple time with them over the years. He’d gotten pissed at me 12/3I/15, I couldn’t afford to spend the winter with him. We had no contact til 5/2016 and had a mutual snarl attitude. He, my comment. Me, cheating. We had contact again 7/2016 and he was flirty. I was staying strong on the cheating, so I refused his sexual advances. I guess we are done. But as usual there was never a discussion. We are still Facebook friends and occasionally “like” each other’s posts. Last summer I had a problem with my lawnmower (that he bought me) and asked for help. He was snarty and blamed me for (suddenly) not pulling the cord hard enough. He knew something was wrong. When he left I felt we both lingered looking at each other as he walked to leave, but neither said a word. I’ve recently had issues with my truck and he’s offered to help. We’re friendly, somewhat talkative about mutual people and things. I reached out and touched his hand and thanked him for helping me. He appeared untouched by my gesture. Just friendly. He has moved on, right?

  2. Love says:

    The lover is always alone, even surrounded with people;
    like water and oil, he remains apart.

    1. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD says:


      You have good taste lol!

      “Lovers don’t finally meet somewhere. They’re in each other all along.” – Rumi

      1. Love says:

        Oooo Doc. ❤❤❤ My knees are getting weak. Rumi is the way to my heart. My psychopath got me simply by quoting it.

      2. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD says:

        Clearly we attract different types of psychopaths lmao …

  3. Scout says:

    I can share that sentiment; I too feel I am nothing when alone. The difference is I don’t exploit and treat peeps with cruel indifference where as your ilk do. (Btw, that’s not a direct personal attack on you HG).

  4. ava101 says:

    Like Schrödinger’s cat. Kind of.

  5. Lisa says:

    Or more simply put……I am nothing, alone or otherwise……
    (Not directed at you per se HG. 😉 )

  6. Pamela says:

    HG. Firstly much succcess for your interview this evening. You will be smashing, as always.
    Alone equals nothing because there is no validation or fuel received? So when a narcissist is grandiose about their importance, is that a lie they tell themselves to maintain their facade? Do most really believe they are nothing. Or is it simply a statement uttered to dupe a victim for sympathy?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      No they believe they are something because they have no insight into what they actually are.

      1. Brian says:

        These statements come out when they are well fueled?
        Kind of like how someone on heroin will say all kinds of grandiose things?

        1. HG Tudor says:


          1. Brian says:

            That’s like when Skeletor does an evil laugh because he is getting grandiose, but overlooks an important detail. He is too drunk on fuel 😀

          2. HG Tudor says:

            That made me laugh. But not like Skeletor.

          3. Brian says:

            I trust your leuitenants are of a higher calibre than Trap-Jaw and Beast-Man and that your Lair has better upkeep than Snake Mountain.

      2. Pamela says:

        HG. You are aware and have insight, so what do you truly believe about yourself?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          That I must conquer or be conquered.

          1. Pamela says:

            All hail the conquering hero HG.

  7. Sarah says:

    I am where you was in January. Been here several weeks gathering information and bought a few books too. I hope I am where you are now not too long down the lines.

    1. abrokenwing says:

      I feel gaslighted with your identity.

      1. Sarah says:


      2. abrokenwing says:

        I thought Sarah and Anna Belle Black is the same person, just different username. Never mind. Ignore it. I’m not well. I should refrain from posting for now.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          No they’re not.

      3. abrokenwing says:

        I’m sorry.

      4. Sarah says:

        Just the one ID for me here (this one).

        No problem – feel better soon.

  8. sarabella says:

    HG ….
    I must be more and more healed. It was awful to first read your blog, I lived on it for nearly two months last January. Every night I read, curled in front of my wood stove fire. I sent healing vibes to the narc and to me, but mostly to me. I read and read and though I was not reading anything fundamentally new, it still managed to finally explain it all. I made myself accept your kind of reality to see it. To finally see it and to break the emotions from it all. Thank you, really, for saving the lives of those who really are being saved by this painful reality you articulate. There is just something about how you are presenting this all that finally penetrated my pain in a way all the other material I read and support I received ever could. I will also send now, healing and safety vibes to your current victims and future victims. I do hope that you one day find a way to fuel yourself that isnt at the expense of others, but please keep writing. Maybe for every soul you damage, you will save 50. It won’t make it right, but at least your are being constructive nonethless.

    Didnt know where else to fuel you with this, so leaving it here.

  9. numb says:

    Unfortunately, there is no such thing as alone in this day and age. On that note, how would your kind fare in prison?

    1. Sled says:

      Funny, mine is in prison right now

      1. 12345 says:

        Hi Sled! I’m curious, how do you feel about your ex narc being in prison? I have wished horrible thing on one of my ex narcs in particular but I’m not sure how I would really feel if those things actually happened. I’m a big talker but when it comes down to it, I don’t want anyone to suffer horribly. Don’t get me wrong, your ex narc may very well deserve to be right where he is so I’m not judging any feelings you might have about it.

      2. numb says:

        My ex soon will be – for the rest of his godforsaken life!
        How is your faring Sled? I’m certain there is as much, if not more fuel to be had in prison.

    2. Sarah says:

      Interesting question, Numb. I’ve thought about this on and off. Not the usual sort of prison life whete you can get access to games, phones, write letters and have visits, but the lonely cell sort of prison with nothing. Thought fuel doesn’t get very far.

      1. HG Tudor says:

        There are other prisoners, prison officers, prison staff (psychologists etc) for fuel even if there was no access by phone, letter or visitors.

        1. Sarah says:

          Would they give enough satisfaction in (what would be) a mainly predominant male environment? Do you not need the femenine potency in the form of an IPPS/IPSS as fuel, or does the sex of the appliance not matter?

          1. HG Tudor says:

            One would find an alternative way of achieving the fuel to overcome the lack of intimate partners and/or in certain cases the fluid nature of ourselves and thus sexual preference and identity means that same sex intimacy would occur and plug that gap, so to speak!

        2. Sarah says:

          What about a narcissist on Death Row? In isolation? I think they get an hour out of their cells outdoors once a day, and next to no human (appliance) contact?
          I wonder how Ted Bundy felt. I know he had female fans in court and the fuel from the attention of it all must’ve been good – but there must be a cut off point as the control was no longer his once inside. I imagine the thought fuel to be rife for quite some time though.

        3. Sarah says:

          Also, it would be interesting to know if some would find it a ‘safe haven’ after a life of torment. Like a grandiose castle that they’ve been sent to because they’re special and different.

      2. numb says:

        Solitary confinement!!

    3. Narc affair says:

      Dont forget the groupies. It amazes me how some of these murderers have their own fanbase. I think charles manson just married a girl in her 20s. Her parents pleaded with her not to but she did probably to rebel against them. Crazyyyy… theyre like criminal rockstars.

      1. numb says:

        Beyond crazy!! My ex was actually a rockstar (mostly in his own mind), but you’re right, he will likely be more so as an inmate. Sickening.

      2. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD says:

        If I remember correctly she did that so she could do something with his body when he died…

        She wanted to make money off of him … well his dead body (when he dies) lol

  10. Narc affair says:

    Alone is where youll always be so long as youre a narcissist

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