Sins of the Empath : Truth Seeker

sins-of-the-empath_-truth-seeker

Truth seeker. The pursuit of the truth. A noble ideal indeed is it not? It sounds as if you ought to be armed with your sword of justice and your shield of purity as you make your way through the badlands in order to find the truth. In fact, this is what you, as an empathic individual is unwittingly doing when you become engaged with our kind.

You are all truth seekers. The empath, the co-dependent and especially the super empath. You want the truth and you will apply your indefatigable spirit to acquiring it without understanding the toll that this misguided folly will have on you as whole. The need to be told the truth, to find it and to know it is a core empathic trait and as you would expect, it leads you into the trap of being ensnared by our kind and is heavily exploited.

Being a truth seeker is a further sin of the empath. Those who who are empathic tell the truth, but that is because of that other empathic sin, honesty. The empath must always establish the truth of a situation, the truth at the heart of an individual and in so doing the allows them to reconcile their own truths.

The empath must know the truth. He or she must not only need to understand why somebody is as they are, but they have to be satisfied that this is the truth of the matter. This desire for the truth makes an empath extremely vulnerable to us since we trade in lies, deal in deceit and all our currency is counterfeit.

Take, for instance, at the outset of the narcissistic dynamic, when we begin our seduction of the empath. He or she wishes to know that this wonderful person is true in their intentions and whilst the empath might be pleased that others talk about how enamoured the narcissist is about them, or how the narcissist seems utterly smitten, the empath must establish the truth form the narcissist him or herself. This of course opens the empath up to the charm, magnetism and allure of the scintillating narcissist as we are only too happy to tell you what you want to hear, to show you what you want to see and to do what you would have us do.

Oblivious to who you are dealing with (until otherwise educated) the empath will, through his or trusting nature and propensity to deal honestly with others, accept what the narcissist says and does. That amounts to the truth. The narcissist is skilled through his mirroring to reflect back at you your own truths and thus as you seek the truth, you are shown it. What you do not realise is that you are looking at your own truth, but since it is your truth and not ours, it is so utterly convincing. The adoration that you exhibit towards us is mirrored and reflect back at you. You wish to seek the truth of that adoration and what do you see? An adoration that is on the same par as your own – how can that then not appear to be the truth. In seeking the truth but looking for it from one who lies so effectively and defrauds with ease, all you find is your own truth, but you fail to recognise it as such and thus you feel you have found the truth and you are convinced that what you see is genuine love, is genuine passion and is genuine adoration.

You might liken it to a person who carries with him or her one half of a precious gem and seeks the other half. This person encounters a mirror, but does not know that it is a mirror and thinks that they see the other half stood before them since it looks so convincing, yet try to touch or grasp or find any depth or substance to this supposed other half and it will not be there. This is what eventually happens when devaluation occurs as you see the reflection and it dawns on you that all you are looking at is what you already had, being made to appear like something more.

Thus in wanting to find the truth and being shown your truth and not ours, you are utterly convinced as to the legitimacy of our love, passion and desire for you. Your truth seeking has made you vulnerable to our deceitful manipulations from the very beginning.

Yet, the matter worsens. Your pursuit of the truth leaves you vulnerable to perhaps one of the most confusing and bewildering aspects of the narcissistic dynamic, the need to establish the truth during devaluation. Once the array of machinations are wheeled out against you, the gas lighting commences, the lies, the insults, the intimidation and so much more is used against you, your quest for the truth has you stuck in the quagmire of our manipulations for a considerable time.

Firstly, you do not accept that this monster which now prevents you from getting a good night’s sleep, erupts at the slightest criticism, becomes demanding over apparently nothing, is the person who you fell in love with or who loves you. This is not the truth that stands before you. The truth must surely have been the person who first seduced you. You know that to be the case because you sought the truth then during the seduction, you saw it and you established it. It is that magical, wonderful, adoring person who seems to have vanished and in its stead you now see some grotesque version of the person you love. That is not the truth that shouts at you and belittles you, that is not the truth that turns each time you want to go out with your friends into a battle and that is not the truth that turns its back on you every night in bed. You want to find the true us, the one you saw and established during seduction and that need, that desire and that pursuit of this truth means you remain in situ, not escaping and allowing our abuses to rain down on you again and again.

Secondly, you experience the downside of our pathological lies during the devaluation. You were lied to, naturally, during the seduction, but that does not matter. You thought it to be the truth and you established it as so and besides, those lies felt good didn’t they? Yet know, the lies wound and hurt, they scar and mark, as we tell you lies about what we have been doing, where we have been and who with. You are no fool, or so you think, for you have followed us, had others report to you and you know the truth of what has been happening. Now you must establish that truth with us. You must seek the truth from our lips without you realising that we will never do such a thing since to do so would be to cede control to you. You have not yet grasped who you are dealing with and thus you remain unaware that we use lies to achieve so much of our aims. Those lies are used to make you dizzy, make you cry, make you exhausted and we keep on going and will not concede to the truth.

How many times have you heard yourself say:-

 

“Just tell me the truth, that is all I want you to do.”

“Please, stop lying, just tell the truth.”

“If you would only tell the truth.”

“I want the truth.”

“Give me the truth. Please I am begging you.”

Are those phrases and those of a similar kind echoing about your mind now?

Your desire to get to the truth, to hold the truth in front of us and get us to acknowledge it means you become drawn into the circular arguments, the endless arguments, the denial, the switching and the deflections which leave you shattered, mystified and spent. Why can he not see the truth when I do? The Toxic Logic of course, but you are not privy to such information at that time and so you gird your loins, climb back on your steed and ride out once again in the pursuit of the truth. It is no surprise that you then gallop into the swamp and become bogged down by lies, untruths and mendacity.

Thirdly, during devaluation it is often the case that you will turn to others to seek confirmation that the truth you once witnessed is indeed the truth and you can find it once again. You seek the truth from our coterie, our minions and our lieutenants. You go to them and need to ascertain that we are surely a decent person, who is loving and caring are we not? You walk straight into the facade and its false truth. You hear the answers which you want to hear, we are lauded for our generosity, we are praised for our kindness, we are complimented on our good humour, easy charm and reliability. There it is, you have sought the truth once again and you have found it, yet you fail to recognise it as the false truth and the false hope which it engenders. Instead of trying to escape from this devaluation, you remain in place, taking comfort from that the facade has told you and redoubling your efforts to find the truth with us. Thus, you remain and exhaust yourself tilting against the windmill that is us when you think you are slaying the dragon.

Accordingly, your empathic trait of being a truth seeker makes you vulnerable to our seduction and extremely vulnerable to the effects of our mind games, manipulations and habitual lying. Were this where it ends, but the valiance of your quest for the truth has a further blow to administer to you.

The empathic sin of being a truth seeker heightens your susceptibility to the post escape and post discard hoovers. When we open those shutters and allow the bright, shining light of the golden period to fall upon your face you instantly see that the truth has returned, that false truth which you were shown what feels like such a long time ago. Yet, all is not lost, the truth has returned, it is in your grasp and all you need to do seek it out and embrace it is to return to our fold. By seeking our the truth once again you fall prey to our hoovers and our control over you is increased again.

The desire to seek the truth is noble indeed but seeking it from one who scorns the truth and takes refuge amongst deceit, lies and fraudulent intent can only result in this character trait of yours gaining the epitaph of being a sin of the empath.

Advertisements

51 thoughts on “Sins of the Empath : Truth Seeker”

  1. Boy did you ever hit the nail on the head!! I turned into a private investigator once I was being disgarded. My devaluation didn’t take place like the ones you describe. He said he needed to “find himself” and that he was an unhealthy half to our whole. I bought it because he was a mess. But, my gut went nuts and I knew there was another woman. Sure enough there was. As soon as I found that out and confronted him, he flipped on me and the kind man turned into a monster. It took me months to accept the monster is the real him and the kind man the mask.
    The truth freaking hurts. But, I am thankful for your blog. For those like me who analyze and have to figure everything out, you have provided answers. I no longer ache inside to ask him questions after question. You’ve answered it for me. Thank you.

    1. This exact situation happened to me – he said he needed to get help, became a victim, and he had been cheating on me with this new woman. I didn’t find out until months later. One thing I learnt from the process is to always trust your instinct. Being with a liar makes you always second guess everything, but I always had a feeling when he was lying and I was always right, I just didn’t listen to myself because the truth was so horrific I didn’t want to face it.

  2. I was so bewildered by what my ex-boyfriend was during the devaluation that I couldn’t believe what I was seeing. Where was the boyfriend that I knew? He never existed! Everything was a lie, but I stayed waiting in situ for him to appear for years. At one point he stared at me with such hatred that I thought: I am living with the Devil, who the fuck invited him in? And where did my boyfriend go? I am not religious but I almost considered going to my local parish and asking them to perform an exorcism. That is how unbelievably insane my experience was.

    1. This resonates with me, K! I had the feeling I was dealing with two people rolled into one. Push-pull, hot-cold until breaking point. Now, tables are turned and he is the one on his knees. Justice at last.

      1. Matilda
        It was so bad that I was afraid to walk by him. It was like something out of the Exorcist. I never experienced fear like that in my entire adult life. When his mask was off, I saw and felt pure hatred. Yes, the tables are turned and we will never go back. Justice, with a hint of revenge.

      2. K,
        How awful to be scared of the one who is supposed to love and protect you!! And all this terror just because they do not have the guts to face their problems. Makes me livid. No going back, indeed!

      3. I couldn’t agree with you more, Matilda. It was like hell on earth and I am glad he is gone!

      4. K,

        They always hoover. We need to be vigilant and try not to enter their spheres of influence. But we are armed now, and prepared!! 😀

  3. Truth seekers who become true detectives -and totally obsessed. Can I add a sin here? Arrogance: “I am the Truth Seeker and the Truth Finder. I am the Experienced One, the One That Knows Best”. What a trap I fell into. A trap I had created myself, being too arrogant to see that, with him, I had made a huge mistake. My judgement was wrong. It was extremely hard to admit it, so I chose the lies. Actually, I was lying to me.

      1. Thank you so much, Karen. I have always analysed my part in all stories, I find the duality of situations and people incredibly interesting. And, although my stepping into a fantasy world every now and then had always been my shelter, after having read so much in here for so long, I have concluded that the truth is way more fascinating that the lie.

  4. I think we persist because we remember as children a game is safer than the truth. So that’s how some of us see you. You do things in silly ways to meet your needs because of the disorder. There is an assumption you will eventually be able to be vulnerable however maybe you have never and cannot. If there was a vulnerability there might not even be the substance behind it we imagine by just a childish loss of the game and irritation at being found out.
    I do remembe even acting this way before I could empathise. I hated giving. I felt like a piece of me had been stolen. I didn’t love in the non judgmental way I can now. That was taught to me by a narcissist wanting supply.

  5. In this clip (to me), Kryten represents the Empath, Lister represents the Narcissist. We Empaths are more ‘robotic’ than we think. To be ‘human’, and ‘superior beings’ compared to other life forms on this planet, change, durability and survival play an important part in progression and experimental results. If you always do what you’ve always done, you’re going to get what you’ve always got. Sprinkle some chaos about the land see what happens. There’s a scientist in each and every one of us.

    https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=oB-NnVpvQ78

  6. Hmm, still a sinner…however, a lot more cautious and selective of who receives my truth. Mostly due to my trusty new “Tudor blasto5000 narc radar”. Thank you HG! Tuning in daily for the latest upgrades and anti-virus scans.
    Cheers 🍻✌

    1. “Tudorware”….Anti-Fuel Software. Available soon for all empathic systems. Are you protected?
      Please contact HG tech support at narcsite.com
      Minimum system requirements: Overly trusting, codependecy, naive, c-ptsd and trauma bonded.
      Absolutely no guarantee to end user and not responsible for confusion, disbelief, abuse triggering and/or non-use of information provided.
      Caution, proceed with download at your own risk.
      (note: “Fuel” is a registered trademark of HG Enterprises, INC. and non-educated proliferation of term is a violation. Please gain all appropriate knowledge and instructions prior to employing techniques or strategies, towards persons of said “types” and/or personas dipicted, such as “ignoring, seizing power, escaping and no contact)

  7. I dated a narcissist. I studied him, his patterns of behavior and he became an experiment for me, pathetic and predictable

  8. You make an excellent point, HG. It is, indeed, a sin I believe, to attempt to seek the TRUTH from outside of yourself. From outside of your own soul. Once a person realizes that – empath or not – they will be truly free.

    1. Exactly, Dodo. That’s not ‘the’ truth. Luckily, narcissists seem to have a blind spot here, as in how real truth can protect and make it all ineffective. And as you say, seeking truth outside is a weakness.

      1. Exactly! All their tactics have no effect on you, once you realize this and accept it! They can no longer engage you. Biggest lesson of all!

  9. HG, I’m thee empath seeking the truce about your sleep habits. Pre-blog, did you sleep so little and if so, how did you occupy your nights? (Details welcome ☺)

      1. HG, when do you plan on releasing the article on long distance? (Or are you still polishing it?)

      2. It is a long way away naturally so it is taking its time getting to me.

      3. Ha ha, HG! Nice try. But you’re a Greater, so the inspiration can’t be that…far…fetched!

        Is this not “Narc-On-Demand”? Ask for your article and you shall receive?
        Are MR/Greaters,  Cerebrals (lower chances of sex) /Elite (mind games at its finest) more prone to long distance?
        Mine was a greater and we’d skype for hours, stimulating conversations, and ‘bangfest’ when reunited.

      4. Ha ha, didn’t realise the long distance article was that… far fetched.

    1. Love…it interesting you should mention rkaming the streets. The narcissists ive known all were nocturnal but then so am i. Ive always been a night owl and have taken many a night shift at work.
      My brother in law is a prime example of ” roaming the streets”. I know without a doubt out of any of the narcs in my life hes a psychopath. I could write a novel on all the strange occurances weve experienced with him.
      His nocturnal tendencies are very strange. My sil has awakened many times to find him either gone or standing over her watching her sleep. Its sooo creepy!!! One time she found him sleeping in the vehicle in their driveway. He had no explanation why. Other times hes out walking in the middle of the night doing god knows what.
      One really oddball incident was last summer they moved into a house and it had a old swingset out back and we offered to take it to the dump as they have no truck. He instead buried it in the backyard. I do wonder if he buried something else along with it.
      One of their dogs mysteriously died as well. Apparently it choked on some food.
      I could go on and on but the nightime behavior is the weirdest.

      1. Wow Narc Affair. His behavior is very strange. The psychopath I entangled with was nocturnal. He kept me up as well. Almost like sleep deprivation torture. And this was during the golden period. I would be so loopy, like I was tripping on a drug or hallucinating. He would only feel sleepy at dawn. And sleep for just two or three hours. What was even stranger was I felt a ‘high’ after each of these encounters and then I would crash. Needing hours of sleep to recoup.

      2. Love…yes ive felt the sleep deprivation as well and i had no clue it was a tactic but just like gaslighting and word salad etc its used to confuse and be able to control.

  10. Scout,

    I believe this is because of emotional exhaustion and self preservation. I feel similarly at times. Interestingly enough I fluctuate between being my old overly empathetic self to being cold and numb. I am much better at saying no now and not over extending myself to people who don’t deserve it.

    What you are feeling is very understandable and normal.

    1. Naturally these traits have positive sides to them but that’s not the point of the articles, it is to demonstrate to you how they amount to a sin because of how they are used and exploited by us in the narcissistic dynamic. There is not point me telling you that seeking the truth is a positive thing, that is not telling you anything new. The whole point is to provide you with our perspective as to how these traits generate a problem for you when you entangle with us.

      1. Do a complete one-eighty, flip everything and you will better understand how the narcissist thinks. It is wild and incomprehensible.
        Everything is weaponized and used against us. Beauty, purity and love is sullied by their kind.

      2. yes, I know how you were writing it and why. I was just was feeling the pinch of knowing I am a really wonderful person for all those reasojs, but all the narc could see was someone to hurt because of those qualities. And in the end, seemed to prefer just a pretty face and who cared not at all for all the other wonderful qualities.

    2. Hi Sarabella,
      Oh, shoot! Honey, when you grow up in the Catholic Church, being called a sinner is par for the course. All too familiar to me to be labeled as having “sins” (joking). And, I kinda like my sinful nature now…..I am such a naughty empath. LOL (winks)

  11. Sometimes the truth can be gathered by examining the lies. Other times you’re shit outta luck and will never be able to piece it all together. I’ve come to find that it all just doesn’t matter.

    1. True, I think it stops mattering when you stop caring about it anymore and you’ve purged the emotion out.

  12. My empathic traits have dimmed considerably. I can’t be bothered with other peeps problems any more. I wonder if this is the new me?

    1. Same here. I’ve cut off so many people lately. I don’t know if it’s me trying to heal and put myself first or me just tired of hearing all of the whining and complaining about the same shit but not doing anything about their situations. I’ve over it and them. Me time.

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.