The Narcissistic Truths – No 47


31 thoughts on “The Narcissistic Truths – No 47

  1. E. B. says:

    So true.

  2. Matilda says:

    It takes a while to really understand that… repeated psychological abuse until you run out of excuses as to why he acts as he does.

    I can accept that we’re all different, and some of us have more deficits in their emotional skills than others due to past trauma. However, I cannot abide the lies that are spun to hide that fact, the pretending, the secrecy.

    You’ve got to be honest about it when you meet someone new, HG. Like Sam was. God only knows why his wife is putting up with it. Judging from his interactions with others, I’d feel the urge to smack him several times a day. But she chose to be with him based on *full knowledge* of his condition, and it is working out for both of them. Would this be a viable route for you to take, HG?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Potentially yes, albeit I watched some footage of SV and his wife and I found it pathetic. Interestingly, he described them as pitying one another which I saw as accurate. If I did it, it would not be like that.

      1. Matilda says:

        Yes, it would be different in your case. You’d be more interesting to be around, owing to your Elite status, but also more dangerous due to your unpredictability.

        Sam is a cerebral, his behaviour does not surprise me. His wife is a co-dependent, sadly. I feel sorry for both of them, they’re prisoners of their own minds.

        It’s good to see that you’d potentially consider to take this path.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          I agree with your observations.

      2. Matilda says:


  3. Nat says:

    HG Tudor what do you do when you learn that your discarded ex got befriended your previous ex who escaped? Fuel or fury?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Do you mean if I realise that two of my previous IPPSs (one who escaped and the other was dis-engaged from) have become friends? The knowledge of their friendship is a Hoover Trigger. I consider whether there is an opportunity for fuel by playing one off against the other and if so, I will apply a suitable hoover against one or both.

      1. Nat says:

        Thanks for reply HG. I mean they did not necessarily become friends, but you realize that they met to talk about the disgusting things you’ve done to them. You realize that your discarded IPPS became wiser because she discovered your lies about the previous IPPS and because they found similarities and patterns in your behaviour. So, fuel, fury or hoover?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Disgusting things? Must be thinking of somebody else.

          Still an opportunity to gain fuel, one of them will crack and choose me over the other.

          1. MLA - Clarece says:

            Counting on an innate competitive streak to come to the surface with one or both to still be the one to recapture you?

          2. HG Tudor says:

            yes and/or the presence of the emotional infection and/or the manipulation of a vulnerability and/or “i had better grab him before she does”

  4. Anonymous says:

    Years of rhythmic gymnastics and athletics have well and truly destroyed my knees. They make disgusting sounds all the time, which I don’t notice anymore, but others never fail to inform me. In the golden period, he used to “care”, I even have a video from him where he talks about my knees. The last time I saw him, two weeks before my escape, we were on a bus and the driver had to slam on the brakes. We were standing and I was pushed into a horizontal pole that was right behind me. I was in pain, I said “I think this thing damaged my kidneys” (I was exaggerating). He was basically like “oh well”. Had it happened during the golden period, it would have been sooo different.

    He, however, was a damn hypochondriac. Always something wrong with his stomach. I once lost it a little at him because we had a reservation for Afternoon Tea at Claridge’s and he had his usual stomach problems. Note, no doctor ever found anything. He said I was an insensitive ass for not taking him seriously. I didn’t care. We went to Claridge’s. Once we were done with Afternoon Tea, he was magically healed. Probably just wanted to ruin my night.

    1. HG Tudor says:


  5. A.R. says:

    I know..

  6. Nat says:

    I broke my arm and was totally alone in the city with no friends and no family of course. Couldn’t even do shopping myself. So I asked him for help to come and pick me up and take me to my parents. Nope… He was too busy looking for another Armani suit with his mother. I was accussed of being childish and spoilt…

  7. shantily says:

    I understand you don’t give two rips about our welfare .. many sites on narcissism state that your kind are dead set on destroying us. I find this to be sort of a contradiction, if you don’t care about what happens to us whether we prosper or flounder…are you still trying to ruin us when our relationship has ended ? With the narcs I knew if you disappeared they really don’t bother with you a side from the occasional Hoover tactic. There’s the smear after a break up naturally to maintain your side of the story… but out to destroy? Out of site is literally out of mind with a narcissist correct? You truly don’t care.. so you’re not going to bother unless we’re messing with you somehow?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Again Shantily, this is perception.

      1. You may see that we are trying to destroy you, but we see it not as destruction but the garnering of negative fuel.
      2. We do not always seek to destroy because destruction means you will not be able to function at all and this runs contrary to our needs.
      3. Destruction may occur in some instances however where we have an extensive fuel matrix and you have done something which requires your destruction.

      1. shantily says:

        Thank you for the clarification HG always appreciated:)

        1. HG Tudor says:

          You are welcome.

  8. MLA - Clarece says:

    HG, how did MatriNarc treat you, Rachael and Lennox as children when you got sick? Especially when having fever, strep, chicken pox, flu and kids are really wiped out and need lots of care and attention?

  9. Lou says:

    I like a lot the image of this post. I guess I identify with it.
    In my teenage years, I developed anorexia, then bulimia. I was also showing other signs of emotional and physical stress. My mother showed either indifference, denial or annoyance at all this.
    It was also the school she put me in, which also showed her indifference to my welfare.

  10. ANK says:

    Ain’t that the truth. No concern for anyone’s welfare, except their own, only pretend concern for others when advantageous to the situation and to make them look caring and considerate when trying to ensnare.

    Narchole has never really once been truly concerned for my health, or the impact of his betrayal on me and of discard on his wife. When his wife was a diagnosed with breast cancer he said it was more the pity that she was going to be ok. So callous.

  11. AH OH says:


  12. Laurie says:

    Ouch. This one hurt.

  13. Brian says:

    When I get ill you’re nowhere to be seen

  14. Narc affair says:

    This i have a hard time believing but from everything ive learned about narcissism this seems to be the truth.

    1. windstorm2 says:

      I think it’s so hard to believe because we see them do so many things that help us and seem to support us. And they’re not necessarily trying to deceive us into thinking they care when they don’t. It’s just that all those times they were helpful and supportive it was in THEIR best interest to be. Whether it’s maintaining their facade, keeping a comfortable home for themselves, ensuring a legacy thru children, etc. We’re just getting a collateral benefit, which from their point of view is very fair.

  15. I listened closer. That does sound like a bad man.

  16. CM says:

    True that.

  17. gabbanzobean says:

    “Utterly”. For emphasis?

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