Little Acons – No. 7

YOU AREHARDTO LOVE

A series of memes which encapsulates the mind set of the narcissistic parent towards their child result in the creation of the Adult Child of a Narcissist.

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32 thoughts on “Little Acons – No. 7”

  1. ” sure she is pretty but I don’t know how any man can stomach her ”

    My dad had a very bad temper and doesn’t recall saying that line. I remember it all too well because he said it to a boyfriend of mine in high school.

  2. My monster always said “you are too much for people”…she would be totally exasperated about something. To this day I think I’m too much and that that’s why people abandon me when they do. It’s not self pity. It’s just a fact. Of course they left…I’m too much.

    1. I heard, “You are impossible.”

      My last ever interaction with narcy mother was her telling me that I had all these boy problems (as if I really dated, the cow) and that maybe I should think about that the problem is me. She makes no connection between her horrible parenting and my self-esteem and that people (not her unless she is playing it) can be victimized if they are in a state of grief and loss as I was most my young years. No connection in her head between vulnerable children due to many issues and bullies just looking for people like us.

  3. Do not let us lie. There are children, who are not easy to love. They have special needs and problems and there are adults who are simply overcharged to raise such a child. There are adults, who are not narcissistic and try to put the blame on this special child. The results are always the same: a child which has no confidence and reacts more and more “abnorm.” There is nearly no other development possible. I have a deep respect for parents who look for help from outside when they are overcharged. Instead of supporting their children, many adults use the easier way. The child is wrong! That is narcissistic!

    1. I am sorry, I have to correct my statement. There are children, who are not easy to raise. Love should not have anything to do with it. I see love and affection as a strong emotional bond between parents and child and there is no excuse, if someone says: “You are not easy to love” That means: I cut the relationship to you. There is no real bond between you and me. I leave you, if you do not…… And that is horror for a child!

  4. HG, is this your mum said to you when you were little? I think my mother is a narcissist but not much to your mother… Hugs to HG.

    1. I heard it said about me (she didn’t realise I was listening). She never even used the word ‘love’ near me.

      1. HG, that is so harsh. If you are overhearing someone’s inner thoughts, you know they are expressing a truthful view. That is very difficult for a child to hear and even begin to process, yet you knew it was negative and that gets internalized feeling shameful and not knowing why. You never had your value mirrored back to you in a healthy way with patience, caring, and encouragement.

  5. I’ve never been told this. I might have said it but don’t recall been told. I don’t recall being loved, for that matter. So it wasn’t an issue I guess.

  6. HG talking about Narcisstic parents… do you think a Mid-Range chooses his spouse based on such criteria to satisfy his Narcisstic mother?

    1. He will choose his appliances on terms which suit him albeit those terms are likely to be similar for his narcissistic mother. He of course will seek get approval and this will provide fuel.

      1. Did you ever choose to date someone that although they met your requirements, you knew MatriNarc would be up in arms over your choice?

      2. Of course and it was satisfying triangulation. The easiest way to do that would be to have a non-white girlfriend, MatriNarc is racist.

      3. HG what happens when a Narcissistic mother (after time) disapproves his appliance?

        I have an impressions that a Narcmother will never fully accept the primary source.

      4. Indeed she will not because it is regarded as competition and eroding control.

        There will be a power struggle between the narcissist child and narcissist parent.

      5. I guess there will be a power struggle between narcissist child and narcissist parent but the scapegoat will be his primary source anyway…

  7. It was never said with words, but the general message was “you are not ….. (fill the blank) enough, therefore, I do not love you”.

    If I ever achieved something, then she was jealous and devalued my achievement. Not enough!

      1. But only if you stay on the Crazy Roundabout. Get the hell off it.
        One less for a Narc to catch.

  8. No its you who cant love properly. It starts with the parent. A parents unconditional love is crucial to the healthy development of a child.

  9. I’m not a parent and this is difficult to read. Shame on her.and all parents who say that to their children. May their reproductive organs explode.

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