To Sin Is To Win


Winning is everything to me. I have to win. This applies to every facet of my life. You will be aware of not only my desire to win but the fact that I always come up smelling of roses. I know you find this particularly unfair as this is something that has been hurled in my direction on several occasions,

“You just walk away from the carnage you create without so much as a scratch.”

“You carry on as if nothing has happened without a care about what you have done.”

“How is it that someone as nasty as you just gets to sail through life untouched?”

“You cause so much misery yet you always land on your feet.”

I am able to fire the useless employee without worrying about how that will impact on his or her life. I do know that this will improve productivity. The weak link has been expunged and the ruthlessness by which it is executed causes those still in employment to work harder. Result? It’s a win. I renege on financial arrangements which leave your position in tatters and mine intact. I use my charm and plethora of excuses to always avoid having to pay for dinner, for an evening out or a holiday. Consequently you carry the burden of our entertainment whilst my bank balance grows. Amazingly, you are aware that I out earn you but the application of my manipulative techniques results in you happily forking out for that weekend away, again. You do it because I have been so loving and charming to you. You do it because I have been so brutal to you yet you still want to please me. Whichever stance I adopt, seduction or devaluation, I secure the desired result. The win.

My lack of conscience and legendary capacity to tell lies sees me grind you into submission during any discussion about financial settlements so that you are left exhausted and just wanting an end to it all. Accordingly, you agree to a far weaker position than that which you might be entitled to. I threaten unfounded complaints to ensure I gain an upgrade, free vouchers or a better outcome for me. I have no qualms about fabricating such a position in order to secure the result I want. It’s another win.

The skill by which I control friendships sees me lob the metaphorical hand grenade into a friendship group and I will stroll away as it detonates behind me causing carnage. I watch from the side lines as friend turns on friend, based on the whispered smear campaign I have created for my own amusement. This is another win as I marvel at my power over people. Nobody has the presence of mind to direct their anger towards me. Oh no, I am too clever to be sucked into that and I can stand and observe the bitter recriminations all stemming from my behaviour. I will always move on to a new relationship without a backwards glance, my smile radiating from every picture and posting that I can muster. I leave you in abject misery as you watch dumbfounded as I find someone new in a matter of days (or more often I already have them lined up). You are staggered as to how I can do this so easily after my proclamations of undying love towards you. How can it be right that you, the one who gave everything and always behaved so properly is left distraught, confused and bereft whilst I waltz around town without a care in the world? Why am I never upset or miserable?  It seems unjust and unfair. Why do I always seem to win? Why do I get the cream, win the main prize and have the golden ticket? It is because of how I am designed. I am designed to win. That is my sole focus. By winning I gain admiration and power which gives me fuel. You know how I need that fuel and therefore to secure it I have to win. Unlike you, I have been created with the skill sets that allow me to behave without integrity, to function without a conscience and to sail through life untouched by moral concerns. Normal people are upset and troubled by my machinations, but I am not hampered by such concerns. They do not affect me. I have been fashioned to always secure the win because without it I cannot survive. That is why I have to win and that is why I always win. There is no hope for any other outcome. By the time you and others have worked out that I have been the architect of the chaos and destruction that surrounds you I am long gone. I have left town and ridden off into the sunset in search of my next victory, having conquered you before any consequences of defeat can come looking for me,

19 thoughts on “To Sin Is To Win

  1. Sharon says:

    I wrote this..

    The exuberant and the turmoil.
    A love doomed to spoil.
    Lost in a blank mind.
    Someone I’m not supposed to find.
    The happiness and the berievment.
    The rewards and the punishment.
    The elation and the manipulation.
    The consequences and the stipulations.
    I will never be no.1 to you.
    Hell I’m not even no.2.
    I am the inferior…YOU ARE THE SUPERIOR!!!
    I am a super are the mirror.
    I am the your power. The appliance.
    I will not bow down and be compliant.
    I have escaped your Rules and fog of illusion.
    Your part in my life has come to a conclusion.
    For I love the empath in me.
    The one you can’t see.

    Now I know you can write a better one lol just kidding.

  2. MsSevyn says:

    What is your ultimate end, I wonder. You get to go through life like a tornado, leaving destruction everywhere you go. Why do empaths act with kindness and N’s act with destruction if the game ends the same for everyone?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      To gain fuel so I can function and succeed.

  3. Listful Dahlia says:

    HG, why do you think narcissistic abuse is not well understood in mainstream therapy? I It is a horrendous form of abuse. People think psychological abuse is a matter of just calling someone bad names but it’s really much more than that. It’s abuse of the mind, brain and spirit, which are the pillars of all consciousness by which we understand and navigate the world.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      The width and depth of behaviours and the thinking is such that one cannot possibly cover everything so in part, that is why it is either missed or only understood at a superficial level. It is often difficult to detect and bear in mind that for many therapists they are either being given hearsay evidence (thus they may be trying to evaluate the person relaying the information as well as the person being spoken about) or if they engage with the narcissist (infrequent as that is), we are effective at pulling the wool over people’s eyes. Where it is provided second-hand, the therapist may also be more concerned about the well-being of the person in front of them and their state of mind to focus too greatly on the actions of the other person and either miss it, not know about it or decide they are better addressing the presenting individual’s own issues than attempting a diagnosis on someone who is not there. I also think society has normalised and euphemised so much of our behaviour that it is passed off as something else and not recognised for what it is.

      1. Listful Dahlia says:

        I understand what you’re saying. I wonder whether the “normalising” and “euphemising” is part of a collective denial where people cannot acknowledge that real evil exists. Certainly I lived in a bubble like that previously. I knew there were evil people who killed or abused children, but I did not know that there are people who enjoy destroying others psychologically and at the soul level.

        How do we empaths even begin to tell others about what we experienced? It doesn’t seem sufficient for me to say that my ex was abusive.

  4. Maia says:

    HG – I have a couple of questions:

    How do you and your kind get so many romantic interests, when a great many people have to resort to dating sites? Do you use such sites? If you do, you will see the same faces that have been there months, if not years.

    Which leads me to my second question:

    How on earth do you find the time to play your twisted games with them all whilst running a business and what appears to be considerable time spent on this blog, not to mention interviews, time with friends, social engagements, home life etc.

    It all sounds so complicated and time consuming.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Hello Maia,

      We use hunting grounds. Please see the book Sitting Target.

      I have used such sites in the past test.

      I have little sleep, I am extremely organised, I delegate a lot, I am well practised. I do not waste my time.

      1. Maia says:

        Ah yes, frequenting hunting grounds suitable for your particular prey.

        When you have used dating sites, did you have a photo accompanying your profile, as ones without receive little attention. Or does it not matter, as your wish is to be the hunter rather than the hunted?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          I did indeed have my photo in place.

      2. Sarah says:

        My ex mid-range is using blurred photos on dating sites and the profiles are becoming farther from the truth each time. Now he is rich, handsome and a lot younger. Is it because he is becoming desperate (besides trying to hide from his previous victims)?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Hi Sarah,

          1. Why are you looking at his profile on dating sites?
          2. He is not so much concerned about hiding but rather he will be doing what he deems necessary to lure new victims and if that means telling lies and obscuring the truth, so be it.

      3. Anonymous says:

        Sarah, to be fair, a lot of people use photos on dating sites that are pretty far from the truth. If he isn’t very attractive, a blurry photo could indeed be an attempt to lure people in. My ex used a photo from 2010. He lied on his dating profile about his income and about his academic degree. He claimed he’s got a PhD but in fact has an MA. In messages he lied about wanting to buy a house in Belsize Park when he actually lived in a flatshare in Belsize Park. On his Skype profile (which I never used with him so had no clue until I was sent a screenshot by another victim) it says “doctor from Paris”. Now I don’t know if this is a joke that is entirely lost on me, but he’s neither a doctor nor is he from Paris (he’s from the south of France).
        There’s a good dose of desperation on dating sites in general. Yes yes, there I said it, hang me. Even non-narcs will lie to present themselves in a delectable way but narcs take it to a whole new level and have no scruples.
        The fact your ex lied about his age makes me think that maybe he does want to make it harder for people to find him as that is pretty much one of the only things you can search for aside from location, unless you want to wade through thousands of profiles.

        1. Sarah says:

          Hi HG, Thank you for your reply. I did not look at his profile, he looked at mine. haha Where I live the sources are limited, so it’s hard to avoid each other especially now that I am ready to move on and find somebody new. I asked you my questions since I am still fascinated by your kind and by now (to be honest) that’s the only thing that keeps me here. Fortunatelly the pain is gone. I don’t miss him nor his lies. Since my last NC at least now he leaves me alone. No more hoovers for the time being due to no more fuel from me.

        2. Sarah says:

          Hi Anonymous,

          It’s just so said how people treat each other on dating sites. No wonder we end up in the arms of the narcissists…

  5. RS says:

    The information that you give us ( those on this blog) is a prize. It makes me remain more and more vigilant to never fall prey to your kind again.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      You welcome and that is a good approach to adopt.

    2. Mary says:

      I’d like to echo RS’ comment. I cannot even express how valuable your sharing of this info is. Thank you.

      1. HG Tudor says:

        You are welcome.

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