Little Acons No. 32


29 thoughts on “Little Acons No. 32

  1. Jen says:

    Hi HG!

    Why will the narcissist leave no inheritance money to his wife and her niece (who he took in and raised with her as their own “daughter”)? Is it a form of punishment?

    He won’t let his wife leave anything for her niece because he hates her family but says he “loves” her niece – who he took in and raised.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      More than likely, yes.

      1. Jen says:

        1. He has been married to his wife for at least 30 years. He is self-sufficient and does not seem to require people – he just focuses on his wife. He would hit on his niece and her family members throughout the marriage through starring, sexual questions, comments, and/or jokes. Plus, this form of punishment through the inheritance and he “trains” his wife to act in a certain way. He is charming, funny, and really smart. Does all of this sound like a greater narcissist?

        2. Does the greater or mid-range punish through not giving an inheritance?

  2. ava101 says:

    Haha, I so turned this around on my mother. She always complained when my grandmother was still alive, that she (my grandmother) wasn’t more generous with her money, my mother used a strange phrase for that (“to give while your hand are still warm” or sth. like that). So now she’s got the money, and I keep reminding her friendly – that she sure doesn’t want me to wait for her death, to get anything from her.

  3. Scout says:

    I heard this growing up from numerous relatives, narcs and non-narcs alike. This statement was just back ground noise coming from adults that I never paid much mind to.

  4. E. B. says:

    This was my NPD mother’s favourite guilt trip. This kind of manipulation did not have any effect on me.

  5. Twilight says:

    No I don’t regret.
    Your free from the torment of that what held you captive.

  6. Karma says:

    At my darkest moments during the first year out ..: this was me… very close to suicide. Today I know that even if I’d kill my self he would not care nor regret a thing since did nothing wrong! Crazy!!!

    1. Narc affair says:

      Karma…So glad you came thru that rough patch ❤ hope life is easier now and much happier.

    2. Yolo says:

      Karma, I was there. I think it was more pride and feelings of unworthiness. I’d completely moved on like a normal..And this little Angel appeared ( DIL hides pregnancy) she had so many complications her life expectancy was a week or two. Our company president position was filled by a lesser narc. Strange, how for 6 years I was like wth. All managers and directors left with the exception of maybe 10% of around 3,000 employees at our center. We had a total of 70 to 75 affiliates in the US.

      I feel I must paint the picture, but after a very stressful year the narc was able to sliver his was into my life.

      The damage is still apparent, it hard sometimes to compose sentences and verbalize my thoughts. The medications failed, and to this date I am greatful but I don’t like that my Dr feels a person with suicidal tendencies that phone the PET team should increase dosage

  7. Narc affair says:

    I get this indirectly from my mum. Periodically shes got something “major” going on healthwise. One time it was blocked arteries, then it was a leukemia scare, next it was high blood pressure. All unfounded. I dont say this lightly bc each time ive worried and taken it seriously but each time its come up untrue. Im to the point i no longer fret over it. Each time shes talked about funerals and wills etc. Each time nothings been wrong. It makes me angry bc she puts me and my family thru stress when its been over exaggerated or unfounded. She plays it up like shes on her deathbed when in all actuality shes more than likely healthier than all of us combined. Its a way to draw pity and attention. Then theres the guilt trip that goes along with it.

    1. Windstorm2 says:

      Narc Affair
      I can identify with what you said about your mother. Mine was always saying, “if I die…” and then giving me instructions on all kinds of petty little things – where papers were, who to notify about what. Supposedly she had everything organized. She would make me repeat everything she told me to make sure I got it right.
      Then when the time came, nothing was like she said. Her will was gone, lock box key missing, hidden bank accounts. All of those many instructions to me were meaningless.

      1. Narc affair says:

        Hi windstorm2…yes thats exactly what my mum does she will mention what will happen when she dies. One time she said she got life insurance so wed have something when shes gone. She then told me a few years after she had cancelled it. Why tell me in the first place? …bc she wanted me to think about her death to trigger guilt. When she passes i will feel badly and i will miss her but im done being manipulated into going there until it happens. As far as a will i really dont care. Ive never had any help from either parent. Everything we have weve worked hard for. I just resent being led to believe shes sick when she clearly isnt.

  8. Yolo says:

    Yes, and my codependent sister feels she must remind me. I told her, I try to stay out her way for respect and no regrets. I just had an encounter with her, she was trying to draw me in a triangulation.

  9. Sues423 says:

    My Mother told us this on a regular basis .. “You’ll miss me when I’m gone!” She’s gone but I really don’t miss her that much . I miss certain things but I don’t miss her as much as I probably should.

  10. Sues423 says:

    I am beyond floored.. I just cannot get over how ever single one of these LITTLE ACONS are spot in in describing my life with both my mother and father. HG, it is so amazing how you’re so insightful and understanding of these scenarios. I am disturbed by them and at the same time I think they are excellent ..

  11. C★ says:

    My weapons of destruction are verified locked up and secured tonight! Fear not, NARC

    1. Yolo says:

      You are good, keep posting here. The alternative is worse than a hangover. You got this message 6 months coming soon. Woo-hoo half a year.

  12. C★ says:

    Yikes… talk about guilt tripping…. all you Narcs been guilt tripped? Sorry I apparently celebrated too much tonight for my 5 month anniversary n/c… I AM NOT LIABLE FOR WHAT I write tonite, lol👺

    1. Sandra says:

      So much congrats on five months.

      I’m only 2 weeks N/C but I know I’m on the right track because I’ve not cried. Must be because subconsciously I was waiting for the shoe to drop and the right conditions for a hooverless escape.

      I’m a sucker for the guilt trips and I know my limitations.

      I come here for a fresh daily zinger to reinforce my quiet outrage. I re-read all of the narsehole points of view pieces so I can face another day without caving.

      I do find I assert myself more in other daily interactions. People are picking up on the confrontational change, where I was previously a “go with the flow” people pleaser. It tires me but I suppose it is unavoidable if I’m to protect myself from future exploitation.

      I hope to be N/C like you in five months.

    2. Indy says:

      Congratulations C*!!!! 5 months strong!!! You go girl!!

      1. C★ says:

        thx Indy…. I remember “D Day” clearly… It was Feb 22 2017, it was snowing, I was freezing, isolated, severely depressed & medicated… I logged onto WP, created an account, and became a devote student of “School Della Tudor”… today though, not feeling so well… my own fault of course

    3. Twilight says:

      Congratulations C star!!!!

      lol somethings are worth suffering through from celebrating and you deserved to celebrate 🎉!!! You go, keep up the amazing job!!!!!

  13. AH OH says:

    Really HG? A bit soon no? You have me SMH but with a smile and darker eyes.

  14. Windstorm2 says:

    Yeah I heard this one many times, but boy was she wrong!
    There’s the sister statement, “you’ll be sorry when I’m gone!” I used to wonder if this one would be true, BUT THEY NEVER LEFT!!

  15. 1jaded1 says:

    Heard that. It sucks. Is MatriNarc still saying thwt to you?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      From time to time.

      1. 1jaded1 says:

        Ugh. I don’t want to insult her bc she is your mom…but ugh.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Feel free to.

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