You V Her



I have grown weary of the incumbent primary supply. The fuel that ought to be provided at a premium level has become diminished in quantity and quality. Whilst it still flows as part of the devaluation that continues, the time has come to audition for your replacement. I am courting you following my usual preparatory work once you have been targeted and I have now commenced your seduction. You are not alone. I am seducing someone else as well. It makes sense to have an insurance policy after all. You won’t know about this competitor (at least not yet) but believe me that when you are in the early stages of being seduced by our kind, it is highly likely that I was seducing someone else. In order to identify the best source of fuel so we choose the most effective primary source, we will set a number of tests. These tests are not so arduous that they will risk the seduction failing, but are designed to ascertain which of the two, or more, competing prospects provides the best fuel. This current performance amounts to a strong indicator of future performance. Here are ten of the tests that are commonly utilised.

  1. Sending the same text message to both prospects to see who responds the fastest.
  2. Sending the same text message to both prospects without concerns as to the speed of reply but as to which provides the best fuel-laden response.
  3. Arranging a date with both prospects and then cancelling (with a view to re-arranging of course) to determine who is the most disappointed and which of the prospects tries to keep the date alive by making adjustments and alternative suggestions.
  4. Calling both prospects in the middle of the night to see who answers.
  5. Sending the same gift at the same time to see who thanks us the fastest and in the most appreciative manner.
  6. If sexual coupling has occurred at this early juncture, then sleeping with you both in the space of 24 hours (or less) in order to determine who is the more fuel accomplished lover.
  7. Feigning a minor emergency and seeing who responds the fastest and with the greatest concern and compassion.
  8. Suggesting a date when I know that the prospects have something else on to see who will break their existing engagement in order to see me.
  9. Having a lieutenant try to arrange a date with you to see if you rebuff him and make mention of me.
  10. Holding a social media challenge to see how many likes, re-tweets, comments each prospect applies to my postings in a three-day period to see who posts the most and provides the most fuel.


Not only does this contest between the two prospects provide us with plenty of fuel coming from two fuel lines, it enables us to determine who we should focus our greater efforts on to ensure they are seduced and become our intimate partner and primary source. If the contest is too close to call after the ten tests above, then additional tests will be applied and the ten above will be re-run also. The winner becomes our intimate partner but the loser does not go home empty handed, not at all. They are likely to be awarded the status of inner or outer circle friend and they will be kept within our sphere of influence as a supplier of fuel. They also a future role to play in a prospective triangulation and there may even be a promotion in the offing at some point….

38 thoughts on “You V Her

  1. alexissmith2016 says:

    I remember this article well from a while ago. It continues to help me hugely, allowing potential Ns to play me like this. Taking them to the brink of a kiss. Of course I would never do anything like that. Eventually they resort either back to their Primary or the other potential secondary wins. Suits me perfectly. I avoid any devaluation (in the main) and they will come back and take me off the shelf at some later stage. Keep trying because they can feel they are so close to winning.
    They have no idea what I know.

    1. Bel says:

      One last thing on the matter SVR the main thing I feel disgusted in myself for is lowering myself to want that piece of shit back . I’m far better than that . I almost ended my life that morning , I smashed my company car couldn’t go to work and was unable to function … why because the weak , pathetic , low life pond scum had planned me to find that woman in he’s bed . I have never hurt anyone in my life and go to great lengths not to hurt others feelings over anything . I even reached out to the primary before me filled in the missing pieces for her , after I found a long way down the track I was in a triangular relationship with her . I would never knowingly do that to another EVER . We live in different states but are in regular contact , we are bonded now she was tricked as was I . I even reached out to he’s horrible ex wife , who was never horrible she was a broken lady bewildered , one of the kindest people you’d ever want to meet . The woman that was in the bed that day later went on to cheat with her husbands best friend , I think in some degree my ex narc partner was played by the best . Both ended up being sacked when staff found out about the affair . I seen a psychologist after as I was distraught, she asked would I tell the husband again if I had the chance …. I said absolutely. So you see I had nothing to do with the 8 year old boy , I told the truth . It was not me having a affair , nor lying to my family . I was in what I thought was a committed, loving relationship for years . I was merely a pawn , but my heart breaks for a little boy that no longer has a family unit , but that was not my doing .

  2. Narc affair says:

    My narc has tried to triangulate me by bringing up women from his past but ive shut him down instantly. Ive told him not to bring an ex up ever again bc it makes me feel uncomfortable. I dont care if it makes me look insecure it makes me feel awful and i dont want to feel that way. I think hes resentful bc despite his devaluing i still have the strength to potect myself and how i feel. Hes found it difficult to do that now but hes devalued me in other ways but eventually ill have that dealt with too. In the end they destroy anything good they have. Narcissists are self sabatogers. They have to win even if it means losing somthing good. They lose big time under the falsehood of winning.

  3. Cj says:

    So what happens when the Narc can only find sexual partners for sex but no one to fulfill the same needs that the primary source provided? What happens when the Narc keeps comparing your replacement but the replacement fails to do the things you do for the Narc? Does the Narc realize that he can’t find a better replacement and regrets losing you after cheating?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      The use of sexual partners can still address the Three Prime Aims albeit admittedly less effectively. There is no regret at ‘losing you’ but rather irritation and annoyance at your treachery CJ, because, after all, it is always your fault isn’t it?

  4. Listful Dahlia says:

    Jeez this is a really asshole thing to do.

  5. Matilda says:

    Yet despite these elaborate tests, they are all malfunctioning sooner or later. Does that not make you think, HG?!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Yes, it reinforces how am I right not to trust anybody.

      1. Matilda says:

        Most people are untrustworthy, but not all.

        You’re just saying that in order not to deal with the idea that there might be something wrong with your method of acquiring partners.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          There’s nothing wrong with my method, it works. You only see it as wrong because of your perspective.

          1. Windstorm2 says:

            Do you not believe it would be an improvement if you did not have to be repeatedly devaluing and finding new partners? I understand your viewpoint is that it is always the woman’s fault for not being good enough. But if there was a way to change your behavior to adjust to this lack of perfection in womankind and still have enough fuel, wouldn’t that be worthwhile? Do you not find it disruptive to always have to be changing the women in your life? I know you value efficiency. It doesn’t seem like an efficient system. No disrespect intended.

          2. HG Tudor says:

            None taken.

            The system works well for me, I do not suffer any adverse consequence through the changes and I do not find them disruptive, not now. Once upon a time, when I operated with less effectiveness then it could indeed be disruptive. Of course, if one IPPS could fulfil the required role it would allow more time for other pursuits.

      2. Matilda says:

        Hmm… will ponder on that…

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Make sure you stroke your chin as you do.

      3. Matilda says:

        I’ll leave that to you and your beard stubbles 😀 … I’m twisting my hair when immersed in thought.

      4. Twilight says:


        What other things would you pursue, if you had an IPPS that fulfilled this?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          More writing. More time for the Grand Design.

          1. Windstorm2 says:

            As you continue to learn more about yourself, perhaps a better way for all concerned will present itself. The more we learn, the more things are possible. True for you as well as us!

          2. Twilight says:

            I can understand your desire to spend more time on both! Your writing are brilliant and helpful for many! The other I will just trust I you on that.

      5. ava101 says:

        Would you write fairy tales in exchange for fuel?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Yes and read them too.

          Thus if you want to hear Rumplenarcskin the video is now on YouTube.

          1. Windstorm2 says:

            Oh, good! I didn’t have any luck with the link you posted yesterday. Maybe I’ll have better luck today. I’m definitely YouTube challenged. I use the dog’s account and couldn’t remember his password. He was no help either.

            Well, I shouldn’t complain. He never objects when I use his email, WordPress or YouTube accounts. He has that long-suffering tolerance we empaths have in common – no matter our species.

      6. ava101 says:

        Did you do different voices on the YouTube video?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          I do. I play the part of narrator, NarcKing, the empath (I could only mimic the cognitive empathy there though), Rumplenarcskin and the messenger. I of course am everywhere and everything.

      7. ava101 says:

        Haha, I will listen to this tonight, when I go to sleep. 🙂

  6. mightnpower says:

    Yeh he mustve been getting bored with his toy, so he thought it would be funny to pit her against me. She was deeply insecure and clingy. I ended up just getting the hell outta there!


    Last i heard? He married her, had a couple of kids and now they are both unhappy.

    Best. Outcome. EVER!!


  7. Bel says:

    I’m ashamed to say I was part of that disgusting behaviour . Even after finding a woman in he’s bed I stood there and asked who do you want . He wanted her , but then eventually came back to me after 6 weeks . I remember lying in bed next to him and him saying I need to tell you the rest. The coffees , the meetings I’ll never forget that twist of the knife as it went threw my heart . Finding the identical pet names , the identical good morning long text the same what if you became pregnant story . I had to win and have him back from her . My initial plan was to win him back , than dump he’s sorry ass weeks later . I blamed the woman a married woman that ended up losing her marriage over their 6 week affair as when I found out who she was I tracked her husband down and told him and sent all their disgusting messages as proof . A little 8 year old boy no longer has a family unit . I won him back , he loved me more , I was he’s everything I fell back in love . 6 months later I found him sexting a co worker and on porn sites . It would be another year taken from my life before I finally woke up . The sleeping giant had risen from the deepest sleep . He is and always will be a worthless , pathetic piece of shit , the only time I’m interested in hearing anything about him is when he draws he’s last breath . Hopefully soon , evil , vile , excuse . For my part I no longer trust and never ever will . I will never believe a man again which is sad but after 2 narcs I’m protecting myself .

    1. SVR says:

      Belated that is disgraceful. What you did to an 8 year old boy. You need to think before you act in future. Getting back at the adult and then stating that about a child is absolutely shocking and that’s putting it nicely. Disgraceful you are.

      1. SVR says:


      2. Bel says:

        SVR … I did nothing to their 8 year old son. I am not a narcissist. When I finally put the pieces together who it was I simply informed the husband that he’s wife was found in my partners bed . I thought he like me deserved to know what had been going on behind he’s back . The husband wanted me to send proof so I screen shot all the private fb messages , the idiot had kept as a trophy. My first words to the husband were I don’t want to hurt you but like me I think you should know . He was a decent man working 2 jobs to support he’s family as she was sneaking around ( the narc worked with her ). As I layed on the floor that morning in he’s bedroom in a crumpled mess wanting to die , the woman hiding under the sheets was yelling abuse at me that I deserved everything I got as I treated the narc so bad etc . Obviously 🙄 I hadn’t it was the smear campaign . The only reason I feel disgusted in myself was I blamed the woman , she like me was a victim lied to by the narc , fake futured amongst everything else . When I mention the 8 year old boy it’s because I feel sad he’s family unit has been broken up by the mothers involvement with the narc . I was the primary that morning will be with me forever … but SVR this woman was NOT a nice person ., even changing her hair colour from black to blonde as I was trying to work out who it was in that bed ( as I only seen the hair colour ). The day the penny dropped and I found out was a co worker I was mortified all the lies . She had been sleeping with my than partner ( now ex ) for extra hours at work , my ex narc was the boss . She undercut many other ladies . So … it was not me that destroyed the little boys family I have felt nothing but sadness for him . It was he’s mother being caught out , might I add not all woman that are the third wheel as nice people . Yes she was lied to also promised things that were never going to happen but nice no . But me being me feel sorry for her also . 🤔And also a victim

      3. Samantha says:

        SVR- My narc drove me crazy. i was writing emails to his new supply and her cousin ( never met either of them but he made sure i knew who she was). i was sending his hoovering text messages to her. i was stalking her and losing my mind. She was 30 years younger than him- a mere child. That’s what they do… make you act crazy so they can point a finger and call you insane. You have no right to blame Belated for what she did. Her reactions are sadly, part of the symptoms of dealing with fucked up crazy narc. She had to have been subjected to a lot of abuse to stoop to that level and she regrets it. Damn.

  8. Sniglet says:

    So much lying, stealing of hearts and cheating going on with narcissists.

    I am a jealous type so this behavior won’t last with me.
    But the only stealing a man is allowed to do is steal my sorrows, he shall lie with me only, and cheat death so to have him forever.

  9. Windstorm2 says:

    Yeah, but they don’t think like us. One of mine told me that romantic, loving words have no meaning. They are just things women expect you to say. It’s all just a game men and women play.

  10. Sunniva says:

    Your blog posts and books are such good reads.
    Here I was thinking that the N kept our “friendship” as part of his business and social gathering facade. I guess that is a part of it, but the main reason is for triangulation🙄 He actually “told” me once come to think of it:
    N: “you do know that I have many male and female friend, and it is always funny how the female ones ask about the friendship I have with you”.
    I guess he soon found me not to be a good primary source, but as a NISS I was perfect to triangulate with🙃
    Thanks for switching the light on in my logical part of the brain🙏🏻

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Hello Sunniva, thank you for your compliment, I am pleased you enjoy reading them. I agree with your analysis and you have indeed taken heed of your logic.

  11. 12345 says:

    It’s so interesting that this is the one that gets me out of all of them “Sending the same text message to both prospects to see who responds the fastest”.

    I don’t know why but this one kills me! How could he send the same intimate words to another women? It tears me up even more than him fucking another women.

    How sick is that??????

    1. ng27 says:

      Because their words mean so much to us

    2. ANK says:

      Not only do they send the same text messages they say the same things to each one. Standard narc phrases, that have worked before, so why not use again.

      I think Narchole’s favourites are probably ‘Wish I had met you 30 years ago’ i.e. before his first marriage, implying the victim is the love of his life. And ‘Everything’s crap, wish we could run away together’. I’ve definitely heard him say the latter to the current supply. It has been a year since she was ensnared so I have no doubt he has become bored and has got the next one lined up and is saying the same to her. Blurghh.

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