Shut Up!


I think I have said enough. I wish you would think the same. You have never shut up asking me about my day at work as I try to watch the sport on television. On and on you have gone asking question after question. It makes me wonder why you are so bloody interested. Fishing for something are you? Trying to catch me out? You won’t do that. I am cleverer than you. Much cleverer. What I do at work is nothing to do with you and you won’t find out about my plans there until such time as I decide that you should know. And it isn’t time, so I wish you would just be quiet and let me watch this game. You keep on going, talking over my television viewing which tells me that you regard my viewing experience as unimportant and that tells me you obviously think I am not important and you really ought to know by now that I am important. I hate you doing this. I can feel the burning from your selfish and treacherous action and it is paining me, but I know what to do. I know how to stop this pain and believe me I am going to do it and do it now.

You never know when to shut up do you? I suppose you think you are being pleasant asking me how my day has been, but you don’t care, you just do it for the sake of appearances, to make you look good, the caring and interested partner. I know your game. I have you worked out, you are a fraud. Yap, yap, yap,like some irritating puppy around my ankles, on and on you go. Just shut up will you? I cannot concentrate with your wasp like buzzing around me.

“How is the new recruit getting on?”

“How is the project developing?”

“Where did you go for that business lunch? Was it good? What did you have to eat? Who was it with?”

Just shut up. No, you are still chattering away. I don’t think you are even waiting for an answer are you? Just asking questions to seem like you are involving me in the conversation when all you are doing is engaging in another of your pointless and egotistical monologues. Do you know how boring you sound? If I wasn’t trying to concentrate on this match I think I would slip into a coma listening to you drone on with your worthless opinions and your anodyne observations.

Just shut up. No? Very well. I will. No, I am not saying anything. I am not even going to nod, shake my head or make an affirmative grunt. Nothing. A total silence.

My goodness me, you have stopped. Perhaps you have remembered that you need to breathe? Ah, excellent you have noticed that I no longer appear to be listening. Believe me, I am listening and I am doing so with considerable attentiveness, because I need to listen to what is coming my way. Let me guess, I think you will lead with “are you listening to me?” any second now and yes, there it is as predicted. I am not going to answer. Go on, repeat the question and true to form you do so. Now I have your attention haven’t I? I can see you from the corner of my eye as I stare at the screen pretending that the figures running around with the ball are more interesting than you. They are not because what you are starting to do is what I am interested in. I can see you leaning forward, trying to catch my eye. I know you are there but I am not going to acknowledge you. Sometimes you throw something towards me to get my attention, usually a cushion. It is not a nasty action,not like when I throw things at you. That reminds me, I must replace that coffee mug which I hurled at you. You were light on your toes that day as it sailed past and smashed against the wall. Anyway, that was last week and this is now and I can hear you asking the question a third time. Will it be the cushion? No, you have chosen to stand up instead. Gosh, you must be looking to assert some authority from the get go.

“I am talking to you.”

I know that you are but I am not answering you but already I can hear the mounting irritation in your voice and already I can feel the flames rising inside of me as they burn away the cold, harsh iciness of your criticism. That pain is already receding.

“Will you answer me please?”

No I will not. I have to turn my head so you do not see my smirk at your attempt to be commanding. It amuses me. I can see your hands move to your hips and I half expect you to stamp the ground with your foot.

“What’s the matter? Why won’t you answer me?”

The voice rises higher, signalling your anxiety and frustration and the flames continue to build inside of me. I maintain the stony faced expression, ink black eyes staring at the screen. I can see the movement on the television but it as if I am watching it from very far away as all that I am concentrating on now is your voice and the continuing delicious flaming sensation that is sweeping across me.

“Why are you not answering me?”

The questions have altered now haven’t they? A switch from your nosiness about my work to you now asking why I have fallen silent. You can keep asking and I know you will. You will go on for some time. You will storm out of the room trying to force a response from me, but your slammed door just keeps the flames burning. You will come back in. you always do. You will return contrite and apologising although you won’t know what you are trying to apologise for. Still, that won’t stop you going through a carousel of reasons in the hope of breaking my silence.

“Did I upset you?”

“Did I say something wrong?”

“Did I not listen to you?”

“Did I say something offensive?”

“Please, what did I do wrong?”

“Please will you just talk to me?”

“I hate this. I hate falling out. What is that I have done?”

Every time you ask these questions, the pain and concern in your voice keeps adding to the sense of power that I am feeling. The wound you created has long since closed and now I am savouring the growing power that courses through me. You have no idea what you are doing as you try, as you always do, to make things right. I will stay seated here, not even looking at you. You won’t try and stand in front of me whilst I am watching the television. You will not dare do that or switch it off. You remember what happened last time when you did that don’t you and I know you won’t be in a hurry to experience that again. I can sit and revel in my power over you and you just keep adding to it with your pitiful and plaintive questions. You will try to find out what is wrong, you will blame yourself next and start to apologise as you scramble to guess what it is that you have done wrong in the hope that you stumble on the right subject matter and make things right. But you will fail. Then you move on to trying to bribe me into speaking to you, suggesting we go out, or my friends come round for drinks tomorrow night or that you will cook me something special. Keep at it, I won’t respond. I will not even look at you. You are completely invisible to me as far as you are concerned.

I wonder how long I will maintain this silence with you? You haven’t worked out what to do yet, I am pleased to say. You keep on asking, pestering and questioning, driven by your own anxiety that causes you to want to ascertain what has happened and make things right. This means you might break off for half an hour but then you resume, trying a different tack. If all you knew you had to so was do exactly what I am doing and it would stop. Go silent and get on with what you want to do and I will start speaking to you and acknowledging you once again as I consider a different manipulation to use against you to gather my precious fuel. Fortunately, your empathic nature which means you want to understand and you want to fix and heal, will make you hang in there and all the while you provide me with fuel and power me. So long as you do so, so long the silence will continue.

60 thoughts on “Shut Up!

  1. Dita says:

    Unfortunatly.i had and studied the nacisistic way abd i have deep deep ibtense abger at my when he starts his verbal attack and then if i mumble one word he starts screamimg shut i have started to tear up my home..breaking all mirrorors.he calls the police they say so..she why r u callingi have stayed in the past as he calles pice and plays the victim.i believe our address has been flagged as a crazy house.they have been called 10 times in a yr.i need to leave.or why cant i just tell on him for rapping me and send the narc away

  2. 12345 says:

    Lather, rinse, repeat.

  3. connie says:

    Terrifying experience Windstorm2. It is remarkable how he could not destroy the cast iron core of the piano and how you were able to keep it safe, he still wanted to take from you during your divorce and could not.

    What a metaphor, it’s so symbolic that he could not destroy or have your core either, he underestimated you like he did the piano, you are made of stronger stuff than cast iron, much stronger than him. You survived so successfully and your children.

    I also fully acknowledge your comment, were you “Thank God” your children are not marked by the incident and you have made it completely clear they do not have triggers from the incident either.

  4. AH OH says:

    Holy hell on the demise of the piano. I would have called the police and had them witness the insanity. I just can not imagine this.

    I use to break things when I was angry. I was cured when my 1st husband took my favorite purse and destroyed it in front of me. Something in my brain clicked that day. I no longer destroy but if I am going to sweep everything off a counter, I look to see what is on it for minimal damage.

  5. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD. says:

    The idiot would immediately ask me to do things around HIS apartment the second I opened my peepers. He wanted a maid, a hole, and someone to mooch off of. Anyway….I would often say’ I’ll do it a little later’ because I was literally half conscious. He would poke the bear and I would EXPLODE.

  6. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD. says:

    I hate to admit it but I broke my finger like a doofus in one of my sleepy fits because my ex infuriated me. He used to always push my buttons in the morning. That honestly is like a death wish lol.

  7. Matilda says:

    “Go silent and get on with what you want to do and I will start speaking to you and acknowledging you once again”

    Once you go down that route, it’s NOT your decision any more if and when the Silent Treatment you started actually ends.

    The more cold-hearted the treatment the less I was willing to forgive and forget, and end what others initiated so confidently.

  8. HG, you’ve stayed that you aren’t physically violent towards your supply. But do you throw things at them and break things as described?

    1. Stated not stayed

    2. HG Tudor says:

      I have thrown a few items from time to time, by reason of emphasis. I have destroyed things as well but that tends to be part of an orchestrated action rather than grab a plate and throw it on the ground.

      1. Windstorm2 says:

        Damn. That triggers quite a few memories. My husband used to destroy my things right in front of me – no emotion – either at the end of an argument or just to show dominance. Could have been anything, clothing, cooking things, gifts I’d been given. The last straw for me was when he actually chopped my beloved piano apart with an ax – right there in the house! Something broke inside me that time that has never healed. It made me realize there was no way he had ever really loved me. I can still hear him telling our then young children, “Come on everybody! Help me carry the pieces of Mommy’s piano outside and we’ll have a bonfire!”

        1. RS says:

          Oh My God!!!!! That is so brutal and horrific! You poor thing. The only phrase that keeps going through my head is OMG! I would have taken a knife and stabbed him with it. That is so traumatic. OMG! I just want to cry for you.

          1. Windstorm2 says:

            Thank you. It was very traumatic and life changing for me. Closest I’ve ever come to killing him. I got out my pistol and was holding it in one hand and the cartridges in the other, when I looked up and saw one of the kids in the doorway and realized I couldn’t go in there and blow his head off in front of all the kids. But it forever changed me.

            I’ve told all the kids this story and they were all horrified. “Mom! How could you kill someone over a piano!” I tell them, “No, you don’t understand. It wasn’t just about the piano.” But they can’t ever really understand and I am so grateful for that! It’s evidence that his darkness didn’t hurt and mark them like it did me, and I will forever thank God for that!

            On a darkly funny aside – the big cast iron harp and sound board inside the piano was too heavy for him to move. I painted it and kept it in the living room. I could still strum it like a harp and conjure happy memories.
            When I finally left him, can you believe he had the audacity to ask for that piano harp in the divorce? He said that he found it soothing to run his hand over the wires and hear the sound. I just laughed and said “no.” Don’t know what my face looked like, but he never mentioned it again. I really believe I’d have cold-bloodedly shot him if he’d pushed it.

          2. MLA - Clarece says:

            Hi Windstorm2! I saw your followup and am relieved to hear the kids seemed unscathed by this incident. But I completely get how his destruction of your piano literally felt like he shattered a piece of your soul.

        2. MLA - Clarece says:

          That is truly devastating Windstorm2. Plus the kids had to be compliant and obey an authority figure to not antagonize the situation however he used them as power in numbers to betray you with something you loved. I’m sure that is an uncomfortable trigger for the kids too. That crushed me for you!

          1. Windstorm2 says:

            Thank you. While my oldest is a narc, I think he was born that way. Even as an infant he would only suffer being held if he was being fed. He has never had natural empathy, although he’s picked up quite a bit of cognitive empathy over time. I don’t think the piano incident is a trigger for any of my kids. It was fun for them. They really did have a bonfire!

            One time he burned my entire, extensive collection of VHS tapes (before DVDs) – even the science ones I used for school. The kids loved that, too. As they burned the chemicals in them burned in different colors, blues and greens. It was very special looking. I think the abuse in these incidences went right over the kids heads. They never saw or remembered them in a negative way. And I worked hard to keep his abuse to me hidden from them.

            With hind sight I can see the common denominator in his destruction was that it was always something that was special to me, especially if it was something I collected or was very fond of. I believe he was deliberate in not abusing the children in any way or doing things that might mark them psychologically. Not sure why.

            I often wondered if fear of his father was a part. His father was also a greater, but somatic instead of cerebral, and he could turn f…ing scary dangerous in an instant. When he would see me looking worn and bedraggled he would “talk” to my husband and things would be much better for a time. I can’t imagine how he would have reacted if he had noticed signs of abuse in his grandchildren. They were his legacy and his treasured possessions. He was always very proud of all of them.

          2. MLA - Clarece says:

            Kudos to you for doing such a wonderful job shielding your children from the abuse that your husband directed at you. That truly shows how strong and protective you are, especially when faced with some brutal blows when he destroyed things near and dear to you just for a power trip.
            Hey, that’s awesome if Grandpa Narc was beneficial in keeping sonny in line and got you some calmer respite periods. They can be helpful at times. It was a power trip for him to dole out over his son.

      2. sues423 says:

        Wow Windstorm2,
        That’s terrible!! I’m so sorry. I would have accidentally used the ax on his car windows and windshield.

        1. Windstorm2 says:

          I know what you mean, but that wouldnt have helped. I always took everything as quietly as possible. I never did anything he could use to smear me to others. I had sisters in law who did retaliatory things to their narcs and saw what happened to them. When you try to fight a narc’s fire with fire, everything just ends up burned.

      3. Narc affair says:

        Windstorm2…im shocked at what you endured unbelievable 🙁 i can understand how you felt wanting to kill him and why. It wasnt the piano it was the abuse and the piano tipped you over and was the last straw. What a horrible person he was. So glad youre away from that ❤

        1. Windstorm2 says:

          Thanks NarcAffair. I’m glad I’m beyond it now too. In a way, it was the piano incident that gave me the strength to escape narc abuse. It broke forever something inside me to where I no longer give negative fuel. Now I just shut down emotionally and start thinking homicidal thoughts. My family narcs all know this and know when to back off and leave me alone.
          And I still have my antique piano harp. It has a prized place in my new home!

      4. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD. says:


        Haven’t we all? I know I’ve done that lmao.

        Even when out of control…I’m in control…carefully selecting what to throw lmao!!!!!

      5. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD. says:


        General rule – don’t throw shit at your place – throw it at your gf place.

        I mean clearly you don’t wanna break your own shit lol.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          I will just suck these eggs shall I?

          1. Asp Emp says:

            Yes. 😉

      6. Twilight says:


        Paintball guns satisfies that urge and you don’t go to prison for murder.

        1. Windstorm2 says:

          Never shot a paintball gun, but one of my sons lives to go to one of those paintball places! Might work as long as I shot the narc with it. Maybe I should get one. And I always thought it would be justifiable homicide. 😄

          1. Twilight says:


            Lol it helps trust me.

            If you catch them off guard, even more satisfying!!!
            I use to play all the time, Pissed I would shoot him in the throat, then walk away. He started wearing a therapy guard when we played.
            I am ok with that, it hurts like hell in the right spot and doesn’t kill.

          2. Twilight says:

            I meant throat guard (as I called it)

            I was pissed due to the silent treatment, after the church incident and he was trying to make me jealous and staring.
            I hadn’t seen him in about 3 months.
            So I shot him. My way of saying hello at that moment.

          3. Windstorm2 says:

            If it was on a paint ball range in a game, maybe. I can’t imagine shooting a greater when he was not expecting it unless I was going to actually kill him, though. God only knows how he would react or how long the repercussions would last.
            I remember one time I poured cold water on him when he was in the shower as a joke and I paid for that for weeks. I can’t imagine how he would react if I shot him with a paint gun! It wouldn’t just be ugly. It’d be ugly for a looong time!

          4. Twilight says:

            lol I can understand why you feel this way. We were not speaking already and we didn’t live together.
            He started speaking to me 2 days later.
            He didn’t just let that go. It was about 6 months later J paid for that one.

      7. sues423 says:

        Oh I totally understand Windstorm2,
        You did the right thing especially for your children. I was somewhat being sarcastic… You have more self control then I do! LOL
        I wouldn’t put it past myself to do it… I hate a bully… I would probably be dead now though or I’d be living in Fiji LOL.

        I am glad you got away from that… I am sorry you and your kids had to deal with that …

      8. Narc affair says:

        Windstorm2…id display the piano harp proudly as a reminder of your escape and freedom 👍

      9. Narc affair says:

        The throwing objects posts triggered a funny memory and ive been guilty of throwing things but never at anyone that i can recall. Well maybe my brother when we were teens. We had some wicked fights!
        I remember the worst job i had as a young teen which didnt last long and it was doing telemarketing for used items. They kept giving me the difficult areas where no one donated. Id been calling a few hours and only had a couple donations. I was so frusterated and angry i threw the phone against the wall. Fortuneately i worked from home 😂😄 i eventually started asking for used magazines but was told that was a no no lol

      10. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD. says:


        Im sure you already knew that – duh…. lol

      11. Barelythere says:

        Windstorm2, I would’ve thrown something (preferably long and sharp) at him straight into his heart. Then burn him and see if he is as flammable as the vampires from Twilight. What a soul-less bastard! Feeling annoyed as piano is my thing too.

        Are you saying your eldest child could also be a narc? I highly suspect mine is too, born that way and unfortunately I think he will grow up to be more cerebral / greater due to the brainier side and wealth / opportunities from my side of the family, unfortunately inherited the narcissistic nature of his midrange narc dad. My son manipulates everyone and every situation and cheats at every game. He is selfish beyond belief and is always “bored” and likes making others upset or deceiving them because “it’s fun”. I’m trying to teach him the right things but it’s completely lost on him. He was different as a baby and has been going through various counselling for years as his differences has been spotted in school. His dad, without my knowledge, told the school it’s all my fault and I was called in and interrogated by the school. He was extremely sensitive as a young toddler but since age 3 has had no real emotions or empathy.

        He is more like the greater narc I recently dated, the charm, deception, his charisma, he pulls girls now without even trying and he’s not even into girls. In fact, I can’t help but think that if I had been an observer and hadn’t known any better, I would’ve said the greater was his dad! They walk, talk, eat and act the same. So alike. His dad is midrange, very bright but grew up poor, parent didn’t pass their secondary school exams and even now are poor. Absolutely nothing wrong with that but that’s just the difference between our two families that stood out and MRnarc’s mum used to bitterly point out. My son is still so young I just hate saying that this is how he is. I’ve always known but in the last few months hearing him tell me how much he enjoys seeing others upset from his actions, with a smirk on his face, has broken my heart. He seems so vulnerable at times I just want to bubble wrap an protect him. Been trying to discuss with my family but they refuse to listen because he is only a child and all children are selfish, they say and don’t know what they’re doing. But is there anything I can do to ensure he doesn’t grow up to be a narc? There must be.

        1. Windstorm2 says:


          Hey! Yes my oldest son is a midrange cerebral. My youngest son we adopted at 16. He’s a midrange somatic. My other son and his sister are empaths, but have their share of narcissistic characteristics. They are currently 34, 33, 32 and 31.

          Based on your description, it sounds likely that your son may be a narc. The key question is does he have empathy when he sees something others would consider sad or tragic. He sounds a lot like my oldest. He also was extra sensitive (fearful and cried often) as an infant. I currently have a 5 year old grandson showing all the same signs.

          I was very fortunate that my inlaws understood narcissism and helped out with my kids from day one. We (the empaths in the family) all worked hard to teach all the kids in the extended family cognitive empathy. It really helped with my son (and now my grandson) that from infancy they had younger siblings who were empathic that we could use to help train them.

          We did this by teaching them to be caregivers for their sibs and closely monitoring and correcting any taunting and hurtful behavior and stressing constantly the need for fairness and kindness to others and explaining how this would benefit them. My daughter’s trying to teach her children not to lie. Good luck to her. I gave that up as a lost cause by the time mine were 2! Of course mine were living with a narc who was proud of their lying prowess!

          You didn’t say how old your son is. Does he have cousins or other children and older relatives that can reinforce your examples and teachings? Family support is very important. It doesn’t have to be all of them, but some other adults to reinforce and provide positive (and negative) examples would really help, especially when he gets to the age where he doesn’t want to listen to you anymore.

          I found my father in law and brothers in law to be invaluable with my sons – even though they were narcs and often alcoholics themselves (and my husband helped out with their children. Maybe this worked because they could maintain their facade with their nieces and nephews and grandkids, but not at home with their own children). My own family was useless – full of midrange narcs all in denial, spiteful and negative.

          My best advice:
          -never give up,
          -always model the behavior you want to see in your son,
          -when he acts narcissistic explain and demonstrate how he should respond and explain to him why this behavior will benefit him (explaining that’s very important!)
          -make sure he knows that you love him unconditionally and that you want what will help him best succeed,
          -involve as many other adults and children as you can in helping to guide his behavior
          -always be truthful with him (it’ll be hard enough to get him to trust you, if he is a narc)

          Best of luck. I’ll be keeping you in my thoughts and prayers. Ask any questions you need to. There are a lot of caring people on this site and also a lot of wisdom. ❤️

      12. Matilda says:

        Horrific story, Windstorm2. How close you came to losing everything you hold dear (your freedom, custody of your children etc)… the story might have unfolded differently if your children had not been present on that fateful day. Now, he is nothing more than a bad memory…

      13. ava101 says:

        I don’t really know, but just some ideas in regard to your son:
        I think so, too, that some narcs have been over-sensitive (like me) at the start, and then something happened. If his father is a narc, God knows what your son might have experienced with him. Children are very impressionable and something can be perceived as traumatic which a grown-up wouldn’t view that way. So teach your son compassion for himself first, if possible.

        I also think that your care and teaching him boundaries, a solid basis, and rules for orientation are worth a lot and can make a difference if a narc leads a fairly adapted life (to society’s rules) or is completely acting inacceptable. I always felt that my exnarc did get some good influence from his father and his grandfather, that was not completely lost. But of course your son will experiment with his power and skills …

        As I said, just some ideas, might be completely wrong.

      14. Barelythere says:

        Ava101, you are right about trauma. Of course he was physically and emotionally abused by his dad from age 2 to 6. I was usually there to protect him and stopped the abuse before it got physically worse, or so I thought. Abuse aside, my son has always been different, he always has to win, his manipulative ways always there. He had various people observing him from age 3 due to his differences and they told me he’s extremely manipulative. I was furious at the time with their observations as you can imagine, but I can’t agree more now.

        His difference was what made him clash with his dad, until he learnt to submit at around age 6-7 (or is he pretending to submit?). I reported my ex narc years ago but Social services could not do anything as my son only says wonderful things about his dad (out of fear? Respect?). It even back fired once, because narc told better stories than me. I was so frightened of him I usually told him everything I had said to the authorities so he knew. He got my son to say what he wanted him to say, and social services then turned their attention to me as he implied I was the abusive one. It’s never ending games with narcs.

        Yes to compassion, love and boundaries. It’s weird but I feel like all the counselling he’s been receiving is in fact giving him more knowledge how to manipulate everyone as he understands himself and everyone else more. Just like how his narc dad always uses any therapy, courses or sessions, twisted for his own benefit. I don’t think I’ve seen anything on narcsite relating to how to assist in preventing Acon from growing up to be narcs. Then again HG (just like the greater narc I dated) who are aware of what they are, believe it’s their superpower so I doubt there would be anything like that. Please do let me know though if there is.

      15. Asp Emp says:

        HG, “I have thrown a few items from time to time, by reason of emphasis”. Wow. I totally get that. I have been aware of the emphasizing “element” within myself for as long as I can remember.

    3. ava101 says:

      I think that physically violent is a matter of definition in this context.

  9. Peaceful283 says:

    While sitting through hundreds of his BORING monologues that’s exactly what I was shouting inside myself. Although it was more like… “For Christ’s sake! Shut the fuck up!”

  10. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD. says:

    This is how I feel in the morning when I wake up 😂

    Irritable and I don’t want anyone to ask me questions or speak to me lol.

    1. Narc affair says:

      Dr. H…I can be a wolverine in the mornings 😂

      1. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD. says:

        Narc affair – lmao!! I seriously am the straight up devil in the morning so I feel you on that!

        I always tell people to not talk to me for at least an hour. Only really special people who know how to handle me will get the 30 minute rule lmao…

    2. Mary says:

      For the most part, I don’t want to interact with anyone but my dog before 10 am.

      1. AH OH says:

        I agree Mary. I do not like to talk when I awake for a couple of reasons. One is my left vocal cord is partially paralyzed at times. It is a symptom I have no control over. My doctor said if I was a speaker or singer I would be out of business.

        It takes at least an hour for me find my voice.

    3. sues423 says:

      Hi Dr. H,

      isn’t it amazing how different people are? I am the exact polar opposite of you LOL, very happy, chatty and ready to start the day!

      1. MLA - Clarece says:

        Me too Sues423! I’m all bubbly, fresh and talkative in the morning! One of our equipment vendors calls me “Sparky” because he thinks I’m waaaayyy too chipper in the mornings. lol It wanes as the day goes on…

      2. sues423 says:

        Haha!! Me too MLA, I go from 1000 watts down to 50 watts by the end of the day. Lol

      3. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD. says:


        I would love to have that bouncy energy in the morning – just full of smiles – but I’m like the spawn of satan.

        I was the same way as a child. It’s a running joke in my family and with family friends – when I used to wake up from nap time I would start crying or throwing a fit.

      4. sues423 says:

        Hahaha!!! Dr H,
        That’s hilarious! Spawn of Satan !! Maybe you’re the real Rosemary’s baby! 😂

  11. Lori says:

    Wow… that is amazing. Are these really the things you think about when a situation like this occurs? Why is it so necessary, HG, that you (and I address all Narcs here, as I’m sure you may know) create such strife… ALL THE TIME? In my situation I have observed that we could have wild crazy passionate lovemaking one night and the next morning (yes, both of us appear to have high libido) and by later that afternoon he, my narc, has found a way to start a negativity campaign over nothing…. literally creates something out of nothing. Someone suggested to me it was because he became too vulnerable recently due to the intimacy we shared just hours before. Your thoughts, HG?

    1. HG Tudor says:


  12. Narc affair says:

    Id never put up with this form of treatment. My mother used to do this when she was upset with us kids she’d be quiet and slam kitchen doors and stomp around the house. Half sulk half tantrum. Id keep asking what was wrong and she wouldnt answer but i knew she was angry. It was a form of punishment to have to guess what was wrong and at the same time it soothed her knowing we cared that she was angry. I got to the point i walked away and let her get over it. She would get angrier but eventually start talking again. I cant imagine going thru this in a relationship. Proximate silent treatments are so painful 🙁

    1. Windstorm2 says:

      Narc Affair
      My mother did the same thing. I can remember being afraid when she would refuse to talk to me when I was very small. But like you I just ignored it when I was older. Now if anyone tries to pull a silent treatment on me, I just pretend they don’t exist. I say pretend, but it’s more like for me they no longer exist and I just go about my life with no thought of them. Luckily my husband never really did silent treatments. He probably realized how I would react. He always understood the dynamics between my mother and me much better than I did.

    2. sues423 says:

      My mother was exactly the same way… she would do it for days…

  13. RS says:

    One time while getting the silent treatment I kept texting him asking him why he was mad when I should be the one that should be mad. Why wasn’t he talking to me. After long enough he said “I am not mad, that is what YOU say I am ” The very last time we sent text messages, last October, he started giving me the silent treatment again. But then I knew what it was and I told him that I knew this was a silent treatment to which he derives control and power and that he would not hear from me again . He has not!😊

  14. Anne says:

    Omg, i can’t tell ya how many times that has happened to me! The game is on, silence, any, and i mean any disruption causes a quick affirmation of my place! Any, it’s just a game baby, i need a miniute. Oh boy, and he’s staring at what he’s seen for days. Not that my minute will hurt! But, i know better! It will hurt worse later! Or, that terrible quick hateful jesture, or words! The worst! Of course i heard, you won’t just shut the f*** up! Just shut up! And as i try to shut the f*** up, it really won’t matter! I could do the dishes and makevto much noise! I could shut the door too loud, and he knows, I’m just trying to ruin his game! Which, I’m not!!!! Doesn’t matter what i do, I’m breathing!

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