The Narcissistic Truths – No. 86

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72 thoughts on “The Narcissistic Truths – No. 86”

  1. Dear Narc Affair,
    Thank you for responding. My friend (we were strictly platonic) also bragged he had a high sex drive, and he was into porn. I would diffuse all his comments and change the subject . He had a medical condition, which meant, he had to keep busy. He did do good things for others, but it was only to get all the accolades and attention he craves, however, it was all fake, as he wasn’t relaying the real reason why he was doing it! The longer I knew him the more the mask slipped. He created more drama in his life than “House of Cards”. He should get an oscar for his fake performance. He surrounds himself with those that sing only praise for him. Underneath his exterior, is someone I hadn’t met ! None of “my” friends liked him, especially the men. I “rue the day” I met him!
    Kind regards

  2. I have a question.

    Who is the best in pretending (façade) – male or female Narcissist?

    Why I am asking…
    My cousin (his mother is my Patrinarc’s sister) is a Narc. We’ve grew together and we’ve always been close. Actually, he is a single member of my family, with whom I really close.

    Not long ago, he visited me and we had an oportunity to have a “soul” talk. He knows who he is and we can talk about it openly.

    He has the same pattern as any Narc has. He isn’t married, but changes his women with such speed, so I’ve stopped all attempts to remember their names. “Abother day, another woman”…

    During our conversation he said very strange thing – “I’m tired from all of this… I want some peace… Now I see, that I had to do the same you did in your childhood – FIGHT for myself. You did it. And I didn’t…”.

    I asked him “What do you mean?”.
    He said “I had to fight with my mother for myself…”
    I said “What??? With my aunt? How come? She is so soft and loving person…”

    He said “From the outside… But when we both were alone, she “killed” me, like you are saying, in “soft and loving” manner… No, she never ever berated me, but EVERY single day she was implanting the knoweledge in my head how “unworthy, stupid, illogical, empty, and insignificant” I am. She did it while stroking my head! I did everything to be “good enough” for her, but in vain… She always told me that MEN are the lowest form of life, they aren’t even deserve to live! And she told it while stroking my head…”.

    To say I was shocked, to say nothing. I always thought that my aunt is very kind and empathetic woman… But my cousin said “No, it is a façade. She loves no one. She hates everyone. She is more passive, then aggressive. She slowly, “softly and lovingly” destroyed my father’s life and always played a victim. I hated my father, I blamed him for everything. I’ve always been in awe with her… She wears mask and I don’t know who and what she really is…”.

    I asked “Why have you been silent?”.
    He said “I’ve suppressed my memory about it…”

    Then I started to ask him more questions and summon my own childhood memories, and then I finally saw the Narc pattern and realized, that my dear aunt is VERY high functioning and covert Narc… She is ideal in her disguise…

    My grandfather, father, uncle (my mother’s brother), and cousin “show” themselves without a “shame” (at least to a family members), but my aunt… she is something… She plays fragile, soft, and kind woman – “sad and absolutely harmless victim” type… She attends church… Does charity… Everyone loves her…

    I know, it is impossible to maintain the “façade” on constant base… Eventually, the mask slips. But, apparently, not in my dear aunt case…

    So, I’ve always thought, that my family is exclusively the Patrinarcs’s Kingdom. My own Mother of Hell isn’t kind type of woman at all, but she doesn’t have enough components and pattern to call her Narc. She always hated me for “chaining” her to my father, for “trapping” her in marriage with him…

    My cousin said also “My last conversation with her ended up with a phrase “Men are the lowest form of life and you aren’t exclusion”…That’s why I’m sitting with you right now. I don’t want to face the “lowest form of life”. At least, not when I’m alone…”

    That’s why I wonder, who is the best façade keepers? Narc males or Narc females?

    1. I would suggest that there is little to choose between the two for different reasons and dependent on the school.

  3. The minute I saw this picture I instinctively wanted to slap this guy in the face. I hope it’s not you, HG. I would feel guilty for slapping you.

  4. wasn’t a big figure within his group of friends (sorry typing fast and doing work lol)

  5. My ex wasn’t a big figure in his friends. It seemed like although he knew his friends for a really long time they relationships were extremely superficial and he was always kinda on the “outside” – jealous of the attention other people in the group would get.

  6. He was the sweetest thing whenever he showed up for sex. I can imagine what his wife goes through behind closed doors…

      1. Feeling absurdly envious as I was only allowed actual sex less than a handful of times. Best, most amazing sex ever! I was stunned how much self control he had not allowing any when he didn’t want it.

        This is a bad week. It’s been a few days and I’ve still not been able to shake the pain and hurt away. My friend asked me how I feel about the whole thing so I went through another website, found an article, read then sent to her as didn’t want to scare her with narcsite. Strangely just by reading that article on psycho/narc, I suddenly felt the urge to contact and nearly contacted my narcpath! So close! I think I will stick with narcsite from now on. It’s the only one that makes me steer clear of him when I think of him. Just wish I could stop bursting into tears when driving, doing dishes, any random moments really. Been coping so well for so long and suddenly all the emotion is hitting me like a ton of bricks. WTF has this narc done to me!? Hoping this is normal.

      2. Barleythere
        Yes all those emotions are normal – at least they were for me. I had the same experience that being here reading HG’s posts really helped me understand and ignore the midrange narc I talked to online. It was eerie how often a post would touch on the very problem I was dealing with and help me distance myself from my Moron in Munich.
        Glad you’re here! Hang in and keep reading!

      3. Barelythere,

        It is normal, for me anyway.

        Just reading your post has got me crying. Anything and everything can set you off, and when you least expect it.

        I think it’s good to cry, it’s a release mechanism.

        Narchole’s main goal/fuel was sex, so although he wanted to meet for coffee and lunch regularly, every time we were in my home there was sex. Coffee and lunch were probably opportunities to lovebomb and groom.

        The urge to contact is strong because we want them to acknowledge us.

        He is not contacting me much and I’m sure it is because he is trying to seduce a new potential source as well as having the current primary source. So I have been either shelved or am to be discarded.

        I got a few texts last week because he saw me. Guess seeing me prompted a hoover. Not heard from him since last Thursday. He is WhatsApping all the time and stupidly I am angry that he doesn’t care about me, that he doesn’t have a few minutes for me, when I should really be glad.

        I have not contacted him and am constantly reminding myself what a shit he is, especially if he is on to seducing the next one, and this is now helping me to not contact him.

        Glad you were able to stay strong and avoid contacting him.

      4. It just doesn’t make sense, does it? We know they are busy and always have been busy seducing (in my greater Marc’s case) so many others. His phone and laptop was always buzzing and beeping and at a glance I could see all these women’s names. Too many. He didn’t have to hide it too much because he confidently tells me many women’s names, tales of all these women who are in love with him. I don’t doubt him, even my friends tell me he is gorgeous, so naive and adorable. Oddly I never thought he is good looking and in fact thought he was creepy looking. But along with his persistence, sexual magnetism, charm, exceptional ability to mirror and give victims everything they want, and many who actually think he’s a catch, it’s no wonder all these women have fallen for him, as I have. He was so aware of being a narcpath, he bragged about it, saying it is what makes him so great. I sat there gazing at him in adoration, listening, agreeing with him on his greatness, not even daring to question at the time what the hell he meant. Sheesh!

        I remember telling myself not to look at the names and messages because what I don’t know couldn’t hurt me. I bit my tongue, determined not to be the jealous possessive type that he said his ex-gf was. I’ve been numb for weeks following the devaluation and eventual discard. I guess it’s all finally coming out now.

        I know what you mean about whatsapp. I blocked him off in the end as I got so annoyed that he was constantly messaging what appears to be everyone except me. It’s probably just two or three he’s currently love bombing but still. Rather just not know.

      5. Barelythere,

        Narchole being married, should have been a big flag, but I gave him the benefit out the doubt because of the way he talked about karma, and wishing he’d met me 27 years ago, making out that in me he had found the love of his life etc. talking about eloping etc.

        It was a year before I gave in to him, so yeah he was persistent. Thinking about it now, he was probably chasing others and seeing which one caved in first.

        In the beginning he wasn’t constantly looking at his mobile when he was with me.

        I started to have some suspicions about other woman about a year after we started sleeping together, when I saw him intently talking to a woman but dismissed it as him just being there for her because her mother was ill and she was stressed out about it.

        But I realize now, that is the ‘in’ for him – target vulnerable woman, be the knight in shining armour. That’s what he did with me – I had just been unceremoniously dumped out of the blue by a man who come to think of it had narcissistic traits as well, and had just lost my father to cancer.

        I started to notice the constant checking of the mobile phone and texting his ‘mates’ to arrange this or that after about a year and a half. I too like you never questioned. In fact I hardly questioned him about much at all with regard to himself. That was stupid. But then I never knew about Narcs.

        Then I finally discovered the new woman as he was texting her while I was snuggled up to him. Was it deliberate that I found out, or he just couldn’t not text her because he was so excited about her. Either way, piece of shit.

        There was definitely jealously and still is to an extent.

        Although I still ended up carrying on seeing him up until fairly recently, the love I had is being slowly replaced by anger, hate, and loathing for the scum that he is.

        There are stages that you will go though. Some days I feel numb, others very down and not wanting to wake up. Other days there is anger. It’s a rollercoaster, one that we have to ride out until it reaches the end.

        You’re right about blocking on WhatsApp – what you don’t know can’t hurt you right?

      6. ANK, same here. You’d have thought having a live in partner at the time would’ve been a big red flag for me too. But, he always came across good, always doing the right thing, saying the right things. He somehow orchestrated it so that I was always the one who ended up asking, be it the first date, the first kiss, sex. I’m still wondering how he did it all for I do not remember much of the details. I was utterly transfixed, hypnotised by him, whether it be messages, hearing his voice or seeing him. It was odd to say the least.

        Yes to particular target groups, he has a few but same kind of vulnerable ones. These types are different to the ones he has settled down with in the past. I guess he can only have one IPPS (to maintain facade) whereas he could have hundreds of IPSS at any point, so the IPPS has to be really special. When nearing discard, he acted like I didn’t exist even though I was stood or sat right next him and I had to watch as he flirted and chatted up women who were more like all his previous IPPS. I knew because they even look similar.

        Like the roller coaster analogy. 😊Thrilling as it was, hope the ride ends soon. More down than up at the moment.

  7. For some reason I cannot explain (maybe my past experience?) I can see through the fake façade of female narcissists/borderlines, even if I have not spoken a word with them. As for *charming* male narcissists, I usually pay attention when they laugh. Most of the time it is a fake, sarcastic or ironic laugh.

  8. What is a huge trigger today is the fact that when I was investing for the truth a month ago the new woman’s friends are just adoring him and cheering them on… this while he was major hoovering me .. even sending selfies, hugs and kisses… I told him I knew the truth .. he tried to hide it.. then when he is found out … apparently the love is official and all over.
    The friends love him but have no idea what a complete fraud he is, how many women he severely damaged in the passed nor question why we all are crazy (o well I didnt either but my friends sure did)!
    I wonder how long until they start questioning and until she does .. or at least the kids have some stories to tell… not sure but my brain is stuck today and the fact that he refuses to give back my belongings and refuse to delete photos on his social media makes it a big crazy.
    I’m stuck but NC and I mean it … just so many triggers today! Need to work now and let the brain do healthy things instead.

    1. They are not your concern. They are unlikely to question matters for three reasons :-

      1. Many people just want their lives to be straightforward and therefore will not probe and get into what they see as an unnecessary conflict;
      2. Some people become brainwashed by the smearing and the charm;
      3. These people will doubtless by NISSs and held in an elongated golden period.

      I suggest you read The Coterie. Why Can’t They See it Too and They Won’t Believe You.
      Do not focus on trying to persuade these people or worrying about what they think or do not think, they are not important.

      1. Thank you HG! I will read it promptly because my logic is gone and the emotional tap unstoppable 😭😭😭😭

      2. Very True HG. I believe you need to leave it all behind let him and his
        kids and family (who I also believe know something is severely wrong
        with him) GO.

      3. Thanks Lisbeth! I will … but the scars are deep and when the brain was wired to only care for him and his family it will take some time to adjust to normal life.
        Lovely friends from my previous life at my house today and that saved me! At least I now can have a few hours when I don’t think about him anymore .. but as soon as I’m going to bed or waking up it’s there again. 20 days since I blocked his sorry ass and now three days since I told him to get his act together without unblocking … I think It will get better .. or I know it will …

  9. Oh so charmig but friends and family warned me of him being cold, fake and also a very bad father of his children. He did strange things to interrupt the kids. His mom on the other hand … She looooooved me but in a very strange way hated my family, meddled and today I’m convinced they both had a plan to milk out as much of me as possible. It still hurts because I thought (and was told) I was special…, oh well Hoover by proxy six months ago did not go well.. ended up me telling her to go F her self. So for I’m being smeared and the new supply is told many lies. I shouldn’t care but I do… it hurts since I loved my family and his kids. Being their mom for many years (ended up sole care giver of course) and today I don’t excist … my heart is bleeding.
    I guess that is also the reason I had a hard time to NC.. hoping I could meet them. So charming but both the N and his maker are what they are and now continues to ruin people’s life’s. It hurts but I should be happy to be far away from the drama and the financial disaster they are in. Soon the new supply will find out .., her friends are going to have a hard time believing her…

  10. Their mask is firmly in place when in public or around people they want to impress but the ugliness comes out when theyre around those closest to them alone. If you want to unmask a narc quickly live with them. They have to take the mask off to breathe.

    1. Dear Narc Affair,
      My narcissist friend, felt the need to inform me he did “naked Tuesdays” (no wonder his blinds were always down) … that was way too much information for my liking…. the mind boggles …. what an ugly site that would be . However, I didn’t bat an eyelid at the time, because I felt one can do what they like behind closed doors. I think he wanted some sort of reaction from me . I’ve just learnt from this page, this appears to be a narcissistic thing to do. What strange beings they are! And yes, when the mask slips, they are very ugly, no wonder he lives alone. They treat us like mushrooms, we’re kept in the dark.
      With Kind regards

      1. Sillyolperson
        I don’t think that it’s necessarily narcissistic. Not if you live alone. I mean, no one else ever even knows. It’s much more comfortable and saves on laundry. Now telling people to shock/horrify them or doing it in front of them – that is what is narcissistic.

      2. Sillyolperson …thats interesting about the nakedness being a narc quirk. I just took it as him enjoying being naked but most of the time hes done it hes said he was horny. Hes never married and i can see why. The biggest lesson ive learned about narcissism is nothings black or white. You can hate aspects of a persons character and love other things about them. It doesnt mean you should be with them bc there are things you like. If they are abusing you in some way its not worth it. Theres ugliness under that mask i know ive never seen and i dont want to see. If i wanted to see it id know how but i never want it to come to that.

      3. NarcAffair,

        In terms of ugliness under the mask, I never got see it properly either, only slight hints of it.

        The veneer of charm is pretty thick in a lot of cases, but I guess in the end if you hang around long enough it starts to peel, revealing the warpedness underneath.

      4. Dear Windstorm 2
        Sorry, there was no “reply” arrow to you. I wholeheartedly agree with you, being naked is not narcissistic, I guess what I was trying to say, (my head wasn’t translating it properly) the naked thing appears a “common thread” with narcissists from these comments and that he was trying to shock me into a reaction I guess. He also had naked pictures of himself that a charcoal artist had done and wanted me to see …. no thank youuuuuu!
        Thankyou kindly for taking time to reply and clarify

      5. My friend oozed so much charm with so called friends and acquaintences , I was slipping on it ! Haha
        Then it was back to being a “grumpy ol man” who complained about everyone and everything.

  11. I instinctively knew this… I’d invite friends over. Have dinner parties, plan double dates… etc… then there was always something to complain about later. Was I flirting? The roast wasn’t quite now was it, how could I say that… ugh… I knew when others were around I’d enjoy the company.
    HG, a curriculum for all levels of education can be created here.

  12. Only when my ex boyfriends friends were around…not necessarily my friends.

  13. He was always trying in charm my daughter. From the very first she said he was “creepy” and “what do you see in HIM?!”. I think he tried to triangulate me with her because we have a very close relationship. She is my best friend. She would have nothing to do with him. Once I sent him a video of my daughter “dancing” with my cat to the song “Roar” by Katy Perry. He sent a text back saying “you’ll never guess what’s going on over here”. I said “what?” and he sent me a picture of his erection. You want to see fury!!!!!!! I laid into him like you wouldn’t believe because it was so inappropriate. Whenever she was at my house he would send a lot of pictures of himself (naked) knowing that she might see them. I know I just fed him fuel (now) I didn’t know it at the time.

    1. RS…

      Omg he’s a demented sick fuck! Yes, triangulating you to both upset you and try to come between the two of you. There was no fucking reason to send you an erection pic having anything to do with your flesh and blood!

      1. I meant to add to the above message to RS…

        Thank goodness you cut him off!

      2. Mary: He IS a sick fuck! He was always sending pictures of his dick to me, especially when I was at a family gathering or at a party with my friends. Constant text messages and dick shots. My daughter (27 now) always just ignored him because she always felt he was “creepy”. I should have listened to her from the start! I sure know the red flags now, thanks to HG. He is a great teacher!

      1. It was indeed! He had me blinded to his faults in the beginning with the great sex but I should have listened to my gut instincts from the very beginning. I am well armed now, thanks to HG!

      2. Narc affair: I was so mad and told him “she is a young woman and doesn’t want to see a picture of an old man’s dick! (He is 55 and old to her) That is so wrong! How would you like it if some old man did that to YOUR daughter’s?” He replied “They will have sex soon enough and it’s part of life” I said “but hopefully, it won’t be the dick of someone who is fucking your wife!” He said “true, that”. He didn’t bring it up again.

      3. What is it with men and dick pics in general. Do they think that’s what it takes to get a woman?

      4. Ooh could have so much fun causing Narc injury with comments on his dick 😂

      5. Remember though, a response will either be fuel, challenge fuel or wounding.

      6. HG,
        Out of interest what kinds of responses would be received in response to less than flattering comments about his dick? Could you provide an example of challenge fuel and wounding?

      7. I can’t find “Fuel, Fight or Flight” on YouTube or Facebook page. Where shall I look?

      8. Hmmmm let me see. I put ‘flight’ in the search bar of the blog and lo and behold it was the first article that appeared.

      9. ANK – I saw a meme on Instagram about a month or so ago that I shared here for fun. I’m not sure if you saw it, but it sounds like you really applicable so here goes:
        If a guy send you an unwanted dick pic, send back a picture of a better looking dick…a more photogenic dick…a dick with a future!

        ANK, letting him somehow know his dick has no future has got to wound on some level!

      10. Haha, thanks for that advice MLA -CLARECE. Athough I have no idea where to find a pic of a beautiful dick, if there is such a thing……

      11. To Elizabeth3535: I didnt think to do it at the time and I have deleted all those pictures. I did it nine months ago I don’t have one piece of evidence that he ever was in my life now. ( except for the shit storm he left inside my head)😝

      12. To Narc/angel: I did not have to deal with my dad I was too young. ( I don’t have any memories prior to the day we moved in to our apartment without my dad) I was four when they got divorced.

      13. Rs….i think thatscwhats meant by sex is fluidity with the narcissists. Theres no boundaries there either. Its all fair game. What youve said about him i wouldnt be surprised if he was a pedophile 🙁

      14. Narc Affair and RS: (Warning, some of this highly disgusting and twisted.)

        “Fluidity” is exactly the case. ZERO boundaries. Nothing is off limits. NOTHING. My online narc got weirder with crap. He wanted me to share him with a cross dresser. He wanted to watch me fuck another guy. At one point, he wanted me to do a three-way sexting thing with one of his other women. He actually sent me her pic and said “Don’t you want to just chat with her for a minute?” I told him I’d think about it and neither of us brought it up again.

        He sent me videos he got from a few transgender guys that looked like girls. He eventually told me he likes them really young like in the video because they look more feminine that way. I’m not sure what his age limit was. He says he has never fucked a guy, but I honestly wouldn’t be shocked.

        I don’t know if he was actually into these things for real, or if it was all just to push my boundaries, to get me to consider things I hadn’t before. To get me to say yes. Here’s why… He would ask me if I thought it was turned on by him with a cross dresser. I would say “Yes” cause it’s fantasy, so why not indulge. Then he would say “Why would you think that’s hot?” I would say “Personally, two guys together doesn’t turn me on, but I like the idea of YOU turned on, and if you want it, that’s what makes it hot. And the fact you are open with me about it makes it hot.” But it was almost like he’d try to get me to say yes about odd things, then he would ask “Why would you like that?” So that felt like mind-fuckery.

        He kept insisting he wanted videos of me blowing a toy. I said “someday” and had no intent of following through. I don’t know who else he would share my vids with! Anyway, the next day, he sent me an actual video of him using a toy on his ass. I asked “is that your wife’s vibrator?” He said, “No, it’s one of my kids’ toys. Don’t worry, they don’t ever play with it.” THAT WAS FUCKING DEMENTED.

        And a few times we skyped he would use things in his family camper like a spatula on himself. One time he asked if I wanted to see him use a lint roller.

        OMG. Y’all I was not into the super freaky shit. I was into pleasing him. Whatever he needed to get off, I indulged because it wasn’t real! I kept the video of him using his kids’ toy on himself. My initial reaction when seeing it was laughing my ass off. Then horror. Then I just thought “better keep it in case I ever do run into his wife.”

        I cannot believe I ever EVER indulged anything that twisted fuck asked for ever! But it didn’t start out weird. It started out normal. He initiated saying “I love you” when we climaxed, very early on. The very last time he said it to me was when we weren’t even sexting. And it felt sweet, but sick, because it followed him telling me “I want you find the massage therapist who abused you and I want to watch you with him.” And on Skype that night, him saying “I bet you kiss better when you aren’t nervous.” (He knew I was nervous the one day we met and I had told him I’m out of practice with kissing. His kiss was so invasive – in a good way- and had caught me off guard.) And he said he likes Skyping “so I can watch your reaction to things.” Sure, he wants to see me turned on, but he also wanted to see me taken aback when he’d say something shitty like that kiss thing.

        And I still question if maybe he really cared at times!!! WTF.

        So RS, I totally see how you could stay even after your narc sent the erection pic. I’m still with my hub knowing he has pics of my mom’s feet in his porn collection.

      15. Woundings good and the best way is by reacting to his dick pics with no reaction or meh. No reaction gets insecurity triggered.

      16. Narc Affair and RS: (Warning, some of this highly disgusting and twisted.)

        “Fluidity” is exactly the case. ZERO boundaries. Nothing is off limits. NOTHING. My online narc got weirder with crap. He wanted me to share him with a cross dresser. He wanted to watch me fuck another guy. At one point, he wanted me to do a three-way sexting thing with one of his other women. He actually sent me her pic and said “Don’t you want to just chat with her for a minute?” I told him I’d think about it and neither of us brought it up again. He sent me videos he got from a few transgender guys that looked like girls. He says he has never fucked a guy, but I honestly wouldn’t be shocked if he has.

        I don’t know if he was actually into these things for real, or if it was all just to push my boundaries, to get me to consider things I hadn’t before. To get me to say yes. Here’s why… He would ask me if I thought it was turned on by him with a cross dresser. I would say “Yes” cause it’s fantasy, so why not indulge. Then he would say “Why would you think that’s hot?” I would say “Personally, two guys together doesn’t turn me on… the fact you are open with me about it makes it hot.” But it was like he’d try to get me to say yes about odd things, then he would ask “Why would you like that?” So that felt like mind-fuckery.

        He kept insisting he wanted videos of me blowing a toy. I said “someday” and had no intent of following through. I don’t know who else he would share my vids with! Anyway, the next day, he sent me an actual video of him using a toy on his ass. I asked “is that your wife’s vibrator?” He said, “No, it’s one of my kids’ toys. Don’t worry, they don’t ever play with it.” THAT WAS FUCKING DEMENTED.

        And a few times we skyped he would use things in his family camper like a spatula on himself. One time he asked if I wanted to see him use a lint roller. Y’all, I was not into the super freaky shit. I was into pleasing him. Whatever he needed to get off, I indulged because it wasn’t real! I kept the video of him using his kids’ toy on himself. My initial reaction when seeing it was laughing my ass off. Then horror. Then I just thought “better keep it in case I ever do run into his wife.”

        I cannot believe I ever EVER indulged anything that twisted fuck asked for ever! But it didn’t start out weird. It started out normal. He initiated saying “I love you” when we climaxed, very early on. The very last time he said it to me was when we weren’t even sexting. And it felt sweet, but sick, because it followed him telling me “I want you find the massage therapist who abused you and I want to watch you with him.” And on Skype that night, him saying “I bet you kiss better when you aren’t nervous.” And he said he likes Skyping “so I can watch your reaction to things.” Sure, he wants to see me turned on, but he also wanted to see me taken aback when he’d say something shitty like that kiss thing.

        And I still question if maybe he really cared at times!!! WTF.

        So RS, I totally see how you could stay even after your narc sent the erection pic. I’m still with my hub knowing he has pics of my mom’s feet in his porn collection.

      17. Oh, Mary! You really got hit with a shit load! I don’t even have words for what you have been through. I am so sorry. These people are everywhere and ruin so many lives that I just want to cry all the time. I tried to unsubscribe to this site because I was getting so depressed just reading about all the horrific things they put us through. For some reason, I kept getting the emails. Of course, I had to read them and respond and I’m right back where I started. On the verge of tears all the time. I helped a young woman at work yesterday though and it made me feel so good. Maybe my hurt can help someone else not have to go through it. She saw all the emails from “Knowing the Narcissist” on my phone and I told her a few things about what I had been through. She related to everything and said her boyfriend, of 6 months was doing the exact same thing. I told her to come here to this site and watch HG on YouTube and read his books. I am so thankful for him and all the answers he gives to our questions.

    2. That is twisted and a huge flag for being a child molester … hope you walked away directly after the erection incident!!! Horrible story!!!

      1. Again: Sadly I didn’t. It took a couple of more years before I had had enough. In the very beginning (maybe even the first time he came to my house?) he said “I don’t get you American’s with all your incest”. He just pulled that remark out of the air. We weren’t even talking about children. He went on to say he loved being naked. He walked around his house all the time naked. (he has two daughters) He said he had done it ever since they were small so they would not be ashamed of their bodies or ever be afraid of sex. He said his wife is always telling him “Oh put your clothes on!” These girls are teenagers now and he still does it. I know he has molested them. My dad molested my sister and brother and my mother knew. She said she couldn’t take care of 5 children on her own and didn’t know what to do about it. My sister walked in on him trying to do things to me (I was 3) and told a counselor at school. The police came to the house and arrested him and he was put in prison. I don’t know what HIS wife is waiting for as these girls are 17 and 19 now. It all makes me sick to my stomach!

      2. Rs…that must of been traumatic living in your household dealing with that. So sorry you had to see and know what was going on.
        My narc walks around naked in his home but he lives alone. Doing that around children is so wrong.

    3. When a man sends this type of shit, it is over. To me it is a turn off. The fact he sent that response back when you sent a picture of your daughter is unacceptable. It gives me the creeps.

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