Little Acons – No. 35

I WILL MESSUP YOUR MARRIAGE

18 thoughts on “Little Acons – No. 35

  1. Geminimom says:

    HG, did your matrinarc sexually cheat on your father? One of the posts you wrote triggered that question for me. I can’t find the post, but if it’s to personal I understand. I don’t like her just so you know. I really don’t like her.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      I have reason to believe that she did so yes. I did not know about it at the time.

  2. NarcRevoveryGal says:

    HG – How about the narcissist trying to destroy an empath’s marriage to someone else? Why would the narc go after a married target?

  3. Love says:

    Mess up their own marriage and attempt to destroy any relationship you have.

  4. sues423 says:

    Spot on again…both of my parents were that way. Very envious, jealous and wanted to maintain control. Exactly what HG said…

    Even though I’ve been divorced for 20 years my Dad still makes comments “Why the hell did you marry him? what were you thinking?”

    Now I say, “Because I was neglected by my parents and didn’t have any parental guidance” haha! shuts him right up!

  5. E. B. says:

    My narcissist/borderline mother-in-law and her daughters made several attempts to sabotage my marriage. From my own experience, female narcissists are experts at damaging relationships. They are far more covert, cunning, calculating and refined than men and when they succeed, it usually goes unnoticed who was behind the dirty work.

  6. Emily says:

    He definitely made my marriage stronger. Especially after I told my hubby about him and he was no secret any more. Wonder how it made my mid-ranger feel that he did not mess my marriage up?

  7. Amynm101010 says:

    This one is so accurate, that I can hear the choir sing “Amen Amen Amen Amen Amen”. Every Narc I have dated, had a narc parent/close relative that did their share in the toxicity of the relationship. It ended up being a blessing eventually. But I won’t allow my ex narc do that to my children’s relationships.

  8. Lou says:

    Yes, she did and from a long distance.

  9. Narc affair says:

    Most definitely! Ive had this from both narc mothers. I wont say they messed up my marriage but they certainly didnt help it in any way. My mil constantly intervenes, triangulates to cause fights and tries to control what goes on. She gave up trying to find a relationship of her own once our kids were born and keeps overstepping boundaries in our marriage. I find the more im around her the worse it gets so i try to create breaks from her being around. Eventually a move will cause more distance and hopefully be more of a solution.
    My mother has caused problems by dragging my hubby into our family issues and trying to get to me thru him. Ive told her to leave him out of it. Her mother messed with her marriage and she has attempted to cause turbulence in mine.
    The narc parent will cause drama, fighting and seperation in a marriage and be pleased once it ends bc then they have their son or daughter to themselves to control even more and pretend to be the hero parent helping out. Theyll make it look like it was the exes fault when in reality they helped cause problems to create arguing and disagreements.
    Narcissists destroy anything built up.

  10. Violet says:

    I can trace back most of your behaviour but this one I cannot fathom. Is it envy? Or the joy of destruction?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      The narcissist parent will attack the marriage of the ACON for several reasons:-

      1. To seek to re-establish control. The fact the ACON is marrying somebody is threatening the NP’s control over the ACON appliance.
      2. Jealousy.
      3. To create drama and reactions to gain fuel.
      4. To fulfil the prophesy – “I told you it would never last”, “He was no good, I always said that that was the case.”

      1. Violet says:

        Thank you, I see this a lot. But i thought this was about you ruining others’ marriages through being a dirty secret etc.
        My question related to the non-parent narcissist ruining others’ marriages.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          No, it is based on the NP ruining the marriage of their ACON.

          Do you mean a narcissist ensnaring an empath (or another narcissist) who is married to someone else?

          1. Violet says:

            Yes I do.
            I recall confessing to a mid-range female of a crush on someone in a relationship and she said “just remember. One fight away from breaking up. One fight away.”
            I was so shocked.
            Can you explain the narc’s stances across all ranges to others’ marriages and how god damn vigilant we need to be???!

          2. Violet says:

            Thank you, I must have missed this one.
            If it’s of interest, all my narc female friends from high school chose weaker-willed males simply for the fact they could win by self-esteem deficit in the male. The relationship is false caring and role-playing masking domination. It is based on the female’s fear of abandonment and self loathing, probably fear of men.
            It’s what my mother did too… and groomed my brother to be abandoned but seek to dominate or be submissive with women. Of course he failed his relationships and has an ingrained hatred of Women.
            I think narcissism is a switch to being primal based on previous closeness involving being hit, devoured or ignored.

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