Absorb

absorb

When we seduce you, we want to absorb you. We want to make you part of us. This is because we see you as an extension of ourselves but it is also because we want to ensure that you are isolated and cut-off from any potential threats to our grand design for you. It is also because we want you exposed to those who will only increase and magnify our charm, our magnetism and our attraction. This means we need to expose you to and integrate you within our own networks. Accordingly, where we are the type of narcissist that has a significant social circle and family connections, you will be thrust into their midst very quickly when the seduction has begun. It is akin to taking hold of you, hanging you over a vat of liquid which represents all of our supporters, admirers and adorers and dunking you straight into it ensuring you are wholly covered, utterly subsumed and completely covered. You will be paraded around these various sources of ours in order to extract fuel from their admiration at our latest conquest. Our smearing of your predecessor will mean that that person is rarely mentioned and if they are it will be in terms which are disparaging about them and complimentary about us. That is how our coterie and lieutenants have been conditioned to respond for the purposes of maintaining our glorious appearance. We will draw fuel from all of their complimentary remarks and furthermore we will be able to gather fuel from your delighted reaction at being presented as such a wonderful and perfect person. It amounts to a fuel fest for us. This integration with those who worship us and promote our agenda is a crucial part of how we embed you into our world. You are made to feel special and wanted, liked and involved as you find yourself invited to a family dinner, a christening, a wedding, nights out with our friends, drinks with other friends, an afternoon coffee and so on. So many ways to plug you into our world by using the all obliging members of our façade. This absorption convinces you that we are the real deal. Who in in their right mind would stand against such conviction from so many people? Nobody of course and that is how our magic is woven. You feel so fortunate. Not only have you met the partner of your dreams but our family are so welcoming and friendly, and our friends are delightful. Nobody has a bad word to say about us. Little do you realise that this is almost like a television programme with actors playing the parts of family and friends and the wonderful places and events that we take to you are just scenery that has been created to give the appearance of reality. If you were able to look behind the scenes then you would see one-dimensional cardboard cut-outs, masking tape and spray paint. You will not notice though. We do not allow you sufficient time to take everything in. You are whisked from one thing to another, festooned with compliments, spun around, whirled about and not given any opportunity to consider, reflect or scrutinise. Everything is moving, shining and sparkling in order to distract you. Oh those klaxons are blaring but you cannot hear them for the honey being poured in your mouth. The red flags are flying but there is so much glitter being thrown about by us, so much fairy dust hanging in the air that you are unable to see those scarlet warnings.

We want to draw you into us through ensuring that you are utterly immersed in our supportive and obliging networks. This also means that if you happen to have some kind of concern, perhaps a slight inkling that something is not quite right and you ask one of the many people you have been introduced to, you will receive the party line in response in order to assuage your concern. This absorbing into our world, our band of merry supporters provides you with no chance to resist. Whereas in your past you may have found the mother-in-law to be distant or a brother unwelcoming, friends jealous that their friend now has a new distraction and so forth, all of those potential problems do not exist with us. This is because the few that might know what we are, the handful which may identify that there is something wrong with us even though they may not know exactly what we are, will have been side-lined. They are not allowed to point out that the beautiful world that we have created is one of smoke and mirrors. Their dissenting voices have been silenced, their pointing fingers cut off and they have been bundled away. If you ever ask about them we will either ignore your question or advance an entirely plausible reason why we no longer have anything to do with our brother. As you will recognise by now, it will all be his fault.

You are to be subsumed not only into our identity as we swallow you up to form part of us, a functioning and reliable appliance pumping fuel our way, but you are also woven into the tapestry that is our illusion. Each introduction, each party, each greeting, each pleasant afternoon getting to know members of our coterie is but a further needle stroke as we pass the thread over you and enmesh you into our illusion. Tighter and tighter the thread becomes until you are a complete part of it. Of course, should you eventually realise that you have been woven into a fabrication, the thread will be so tight about you, so complete and so covering that escape is nigh on impossible without the assistance of someone else who is able to cut you free.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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9 thoughts on “Absorb”

  1. My narcs mum and dad were so lovely and friendly and telling how special their son was. And on our wedding day..I remember the grin of his father a grin that said “There he is off my hands and HER problem now”.

  2. Thanks for expanding on another aspect of NPD, HG, but I alone set myself free by walking through the pain and taking the blows these past five months. Some days I think I won’t get through the awful memories, the hoover’s, the smearing. He’s a drug, but a very toxic onel, however, I’ve remained NC even last week during that sticky patch over work, HG.
    I am slowly building up a new social life along with my self- esteem. My inner strength keeps me going, and long may that last. Thanks again for your insights, much appreciated, even if I do feel like giving you a good damn shake!

  3. Drugged by narcissistic angel dust and trapped; what a stupid-idiotic-fool I was, staying as long as I did, however, on a positive note, I found a samurai sword and sliced my way out. Wouldn’t it be great if there was Assassin’s Creed: Empath vs Narcissist, multiplayer. The narcs could hurl love bombs at the empaths and the empaths could hurl gray rocks at the narcs.

    1. I believe YOU are the first, and maybe only ” Assassins Creed Empath ” I have had the pleasure to ‘meet’.
      Keep the sword.

  4. Great post. Thanks HG, these are really valuable for me, as if you’re describing the world I was born into. I had such a trigger watching The Truman Show movie when his boat hit the set wall. It was my moment at 26 realising my life had been a stage set full of con artists. The sheer energy it must take you all, only to watch us leave, I don’t really see the point of expending.
    It is useful to read if these techniques and I would welcome more about how you assess and play out the target’s desires.
    I think it is why I went into the world with such unrealistic expectations and no ability to feel good within. My self had been isolated from all social contact and neglected from parents, compounding that loneliness and depression, and then all of the sparkles around were supposed to replace love. No wonder I found myself later working on a television set, open to humiliation and no privacy. It is my home!!!
    At least it fuelled matrinarc’s jealousy and she pandered to me instead of the hits.
    I’d be keen to read if your observations of other narc parents you see today with their kids. The pressure to perform must be the common energy.

      1. These techniques, as well as the ones you employ to create a narrative for the victim in which they are inferior, ugly, worthless and need you to feel good/stay alive, are most useful to know about.
        Mainly because of how much damage they do when we are unarmed to know about it and stop it, and because we’d never think of doing them.
        The narrative for victims would be a great post. What do we turn you into, how? In step by step.

  5. Yes… and yes … and now I’m done ✅ Nothing more to absorb since it was all an illusion.

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