The Super Empath

THE SUPER EMPATH

 

It is well known that our kind target those who have empathic traits. Just like those of my persuasion operate on a spectrum, those who exhibit empathy do so as well. There are those we might regard as the “normals” those people who have some narcissistic traits and some empathic traits. As ever, when I use the words empathic and empathetic I state them with reference to certain traits such as empathy (clearly), honesty, kindness, decency and such like. I do not use the words in the sense of being in tune with the world and the environment. The normal are in the centre, possibly leaning one way towards my kind or the other way towards your kind. It is extremely rare for a normal to be ensnared as primary source because put simply, they do not cut the mustard. Their emotional responses are not sufficient, their empathic traits whilst evident are not sufficient to either bind to us or provide us with the fuel that we need. Such a person would easily pass a homeless person begging, a person crying alone on a bench or somebody who had fallen off their bike and injured themselves. They are self-absorbed but not to the degree that our kind is. They will help if they really have to, but they do not go out of their way to act in a way that causes harm to anybody else.

Thereafter come those who are empaths. Empaths are always targeted as primary sources. They often fulfil secondary roles as well. They are rarer in a tertiary source position since if they are an empath, they would be better suited to either being a primary or secondary source. We would not want those empathic traits to go to waste. The empath has a good range of empathic traits those of honesty, decency, having a strong moral compass and being a good listener, just to list a few of them. They may not have all of the empathic traits that we look for, but they will have several and exhibit them in a concentrated form. Thus this person would look to donate to a charity, hand a wallet in that was found in the street, help a stranger who is in distress, sit and listen to somebody who has problems and acts of a similar nature.

Next comes the Super Empath. This person is not a co-dependent. Both the Super Empath and the co-dependent have many, if not all of the empathic traits that we look for and they have them to a stronger degree than the empath. For example, both might take the homeless person under their wing and take them to a shelter, maybe even house them themselves for a period of time. They would try and locate the person who had lost their wallet in order to hand it back in person rather than say hand it in at a police station first. They will listen to the person with problems and then offer practical solutions to resolve those difficulties. The co-dependent gains validation from such acts through giving and has to do this to an excessive degree even when it goes beyond what is good for themselves, such is their inherent addiction to the act of giving and selflessness. The co-dependent may not actually be that strong an individual (they are in the sense of the abuse that they can soak up) but they are not strong as they have no identity to assert, they must form one through self-flagellation, giving and not taking. They are masochistic in nature, driving themselves to the point of collapse and illness because they lack the strength to escape and the desire to do so from the clutches of our kind. Lesser Narcissists and Mid-Range Narcissists hook up with co-dependents especially because they give, give and give but do not fight back. They challenge themselves, blame themselves and always make excuses for their abuser.

The Super Empath is also a giver but whereas the co-dependent is masochistic in this giving, the Super Empath does so from a position of strength. They hold their ability to empathise, to heal, to fix and impart goodness as a great gift and one which ought not to be abused. They are drawn to our kind less because of the co-dependent’s need to seek validation of identity through a narcissist, but more because they are initially attracted to the apparent emotional output of the narcissist. The false strength which the narcissist exhibits at the outset of the seduction, the confidence, the apparent satisfaction with his self, that he appears comfortable in his own skin, at ease with others, capable of lighting up a room and so forth is a huge attraction to the Super Empath because that person actually sees something of themselves in the narcissist when the narcissist is seducing. That is not to state that the Super Empath is a narcissist. Far from it. But the Super Empath is just as engaging as the narcissist and thus there is a mutual attraction. The Super Empath is also more challenging to the narcissist and therefore is usually the recipient of some Mid-Range narcissists and most often the Greater Narcissist. This is not because the Super Empath is awkward or reticent but rather she will be forthcoming with her empathic traits once she feels that they have been earned. Accordingly, the narcissist must put the extra miles in, in terms of seduction to ensnare the Super Empath. This person needs to be coerced into sharing the fruits of their empathy but once that trust has been earned, once the gate has been unlocked the benefits are huge. The Super Empath shines with empathy, glows with decency and pours forth delicious fuel.

This continues during devaluation. The empath and co-dependent are easier to “break” in terms of causing negative fuel to flow. The Super Empath is made of sterner material and will resist the negative machinations of the narcissist at first. This may result in the narcissist dis-engaging if he does not feel able to impact on the Super Empath and seeking fuel elsewhere. The Greater knows who he has ensnared and knows once again he must unlock the fuel source, this time negative, of the Super Empath and once it is done the tidal wave of fuel is to be enjoyed. The Super Empath will remain, wanting to fix the narcissist, exhibiting again the same empathic traits of others on the empathic spectrum, but again being made of sterner stuff, their descent towards numbness and malfunction is far slower than that of the empath. The Super Empath will keep providing the fuel but deteriorates at a slower rate. The risk factor however with a Super Empath is that their own personal integrity is greater than the empath’s and very much greater than that of the co-dependent and consequently of all these three classes of empath, the Super Empath is the one more likely to make a bid for escape and thus leave the narcissist with a cessation problem.

The challenge of unlocking both positive and negative fuel proves an attraction for the right type of narcissist because this allows him to assert his superiority and enjoy the challenge. The reward is magnificent. Excellent fuel and such that deteriorates at a much slower rate. The downside is the potential for the Super Empath becoming “aware” of what is happening, becoming unwilling to dedicate further energy to staying with the narcissist to fix and to heal and thus escaping. The Super Empath requires fairly careful management by our kind, but the rewards always mean that this person is a challenge which is often accepted.

274 thoughts on “The Super Empath

  1. Joeann says:

    I am a super empath elementary school teacher with an animal shelter dog. Ugh. I must have fuel written on my forehead.

  2. Superempathissist says:

    I have no idea what I am … Who does?

  3. 𝑪★ says:

    @HG…well now I cant help but wonder if that is a part of your profession? Setting things on fire and the Instagram “clues”…. you were on a mission and fire was involved…. its always fun to speculate what you do in real life!!!!!!!!

  4. Peaceful says:

    HG, what do you think…. are we empaths? Or are we channeling the divine through authenticity, which you are not abel?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Some of you are empaths, yes.

  5. Sniglet says:

    Any man you think you must fight over with another woman or untangle him from another woman’s arms is absolutely not worthy of having.

    The man would fight for me, else finito!

    I would feel degraded to go into combat with another woman for a guy. The guy must make it unequivocally clear to everybody that he is interested in me and other women must withdraw or he must force his message until they do.

    If I should remind a man that he needs to decline other women’s advances – that is a RED FLAG. He must think of it himself and prove it through actions in front of me immediately. Anything less will get him blacklisted.

    1. NarcAngel says:

      Sniglet

      Haha, big demands of him. So how long have you been single?

      1. Sniglet says:

        NarcAngel! Leading question. I have never said I was single.

    2. narc affair says:

      Sniglet…i totally agree!!

      1. Sniglet says:

        Thanks narc affair. That is indeed my thought process.

        Everybody has posted about their own way of thinking and how they would handle their own situation or hypothetical situation on this website.

        It appears my way is not quite conventional here and goes against the grain of the empath but I am not easily swayed.

      2. narc affair says:

        Hi sniglet…i agree bc if you arevin competition over a man you always will be bc theyll be some new competitor on the horizon. Thatd be exhausting and not a fulfilling relationship. Why bother? Its better to be with someone where you both want each other.

    3. Kim says:

      Good boundaries Sniglet! We’re/are you ensnared by a Narcissist?

      I rarely encountered competition for my Narcissists, honestly didn’t know I had any until I was disengaged by the 2nd Narc. My 1st Narc was my husband of 15 years. A woman came on to him in front me, while in a grocery store. He ignored her (the little tart!).

  6. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD. says:

    This super empath has successfully completed one year of no contact! I can’t say I have had any urges what-so-ever to break it lol!

    Independence Day.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Well done Dr Q.

      1. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD. says:

        woot woot!

      2. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD. says:

        HG,

        You played a huge part in my ‘healing’ process.

        For that you are a narcissistic psychopath that forever has a special place in my frost bitten heart!

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Good.

    2. Indy says:

      Yayyyy, congratulations, Doc!!

      1. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD. says:

        Thank you!!!!

    3. Mary says:

      Congrats, Dr. HQ!!! Woot woot!!!

      1. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD. says:

        Thankkkk youuu!!

        1. DrRosa88 says:

          What were key success factors in staying nc for a year? Did you block him?

    4. NarcAngel says:

      DR HQ

      Good job.

      1. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD. says:

        Thank you!!!

        Now I just need your mentality about sex and I’ll be golden lol.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Don’t you mean arrested.

          1. NarcAngel says:

            Arrested.

            Bahahaha

      2. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD. says:

        I’m not sure how to interpret that comment – since I see that it can be interpreted in more than one way lmao.

    5. narc affair says:

      Wtg Dr. H!!!

      1. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD. says:

        Thank youuu 😛

      2. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD. says:

        Narc affair,

        Hugs 😄

    6. Love says:

      Congrats NY! Which borough do you hail from?

      1. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD. says:

        Thank you 😃

        Long Island

        1. Love says:

          Doc, I bet you have an awesome accent. Can you please say ‘coffee’? 😁

          1. HG Tudor says:

            She can’t say aluminium properly believe me. Dr Q is too lah-de-dah for Noo Yoik she doesn’t say kwafe or wahnderful

          2. Love says:

            OMG! Mr. Tudor, you’re a Yankee at heart!

          3. Indy says:

            Haha on the Yankee accent.
            There is s part Boston (Southie and Dorchester) that say cwahfee and boistin. I went to school there for a few years and enjoyed ithe sounds. Is that a queens thing to do? Not being a New Yorker, I don’t know.

            Though how does one say aluminum? I say ah-loom-min-num?

          4. HG Tudor says:

            Al-you-minimem

          5. Indy says:

            What? I can’t even say that.
            Is it a little joke because it has “you” and “minimum” in it? So narc of you😉

          6. Love says:

            Lol I can speak English in a regular accent and also one based on my mother-tongue’s accent. I switch to that accent when I want people from my country to understand. Like ‘verrr iz deees? Peleeez estop.’ 😂

          7. Indy says:

            Love, that’s a talent! And I bet your native accent is sexy! I aleYs wished I had one. I always get lumped into the nondescript midwestern American.

          8. Love says:

            Thank you. I’m sure you will sound very sexy to non-native English speakers.

          9. Indy says:

            You are too kind Love! Nah, American accent is not very sexy.

          10. RS says:

            I feel the same way. American accents are so boring! When I first heard the Beatles speak on the Ed Sullivan Show (I was 4) I was mesmerized! When I went to England 2 years ago I told one of the natives that the best part of being in England was hearing their accent everywhere I went. She said “love, YOU are the only one with an accent here”. I would give anything to live there. I never wanted to go back to the states.

          11. Indy says:

            Hi RS,
            Right? No I never says what a sexy American accent. 😂

            Now some southern men have a lovely slight drawl…but that’s it. I love so many different accents! That sounds like a wonderful trip, RS!

          12. RS says:

            It was! I met my friend at a Best Buy here in Arizona. Her and her daughter were walking by talking and I stopped them and said ” I love your accent I could listen to you talk all day!” Her daughter with an airline hostess and was going to take her mom back to the hotel. Her mother’s name is Felicity. I said ” come to my house and I will make tea and scones and we can talk”… she came and we have been friends ever since! ( that was in 2001) She told me she wouldn’t normally have done that but she always wanted to see the inside of an American kitchen. She told me if I ever came to England I had a place to stay and I have been to visit her twice now. Her husband and daughters are so lovely. We are all friends on Facebook and talk all the time.

      2. K says:

        Awesome, Dr. Q PsyD! We should all go out for drinks later to celebrate.

      3. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD. says:

        Thanks k!!!! 😃

      4. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD. says:

        HG,

        Lmao! I say aluminum correctly lol!!

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Er, no you don’t.

      5. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD. says:

        HG,

        Since you are my absolute favorite psychopath…I’ll say it the British way just for you. lol!

        1. HG Tudor says:

          I should jolly well expect so.

    7. Twilight says:

      Congratulations Dr Quinzel

      may the days before you come easier and easier

      1. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD. says:

        Thank u! Xoxo

    8. RS says:

      Congratulations!!!!! I have 2 1/2 more months to get to that monumental mark. I WILL get there! Stand tall and be proud!

      1. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD. says:

        Thanks RS!! You are closeeee!!!!

        Hugssss

        1. RS says:

          After reading his last post of “Kiss me”, I might not make it to 1 year. I need to be kissed so bad!

    9. RecoveringNarcoholic says:

      Congrats, Dr. Q! You’re an inspiration.

      1. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD. says:

        Thank you! Hugs from afar

  7. No Lou Tenant says:

    I actually don’t know in which of your categories I’d fall into. I know my boundaries have not been strong and I let them be crossed far too many times. I also know my identity was affected by my upbringing. I did give my two big narcs a good fight though. My ex N actually told me his relationship with me cost him more energy than the others.

    At the end, is it important to know which of your categories we belong to? For me at least, it is not so important. I know what my issues have been and what I still need to work on.

  8. RS says:

    God damn it! I want to text him so bad and tell him how much I hate him right now!

  9. DontMentionTheWar says:

    Hi, Sunniva,
    oh, I thank you. You are so nice 🙂
    I know what you mean with the many words – not because of your words, but mine 🙂 I would have never been able to notice that English is not your mother language. I thought it is.
    I am German and wish so much that I could express myself in English as well as in German.

    Asking for help is difficult. Giving and helping others is easy and makes so happy. But sometimes, in secret, I think about how nice it feels when something positive happens without that I did anything.

    1. Sunniva says:

      Echt jetzt😃 Ich habe drei Jahre in Berlin studiert👍🏻 Mein zweiter zu Hause🙏🏻

      I am so with you on that last paragraph.
      That moment when I can just lean back and smile (with happy tears in my eyes) and see good be done🙏🏻

  10. gypsylee73 says:

    I haven’t read all the comments nor the article but I can’t help noticing certain women chasing HG. Keep it up! Leave the non-narc men for me and my friends you silly women.

    1. RS says:

      It is silly, isn’t it? To me I think it’s like getting to play with fire but not getting burned. If any of us (maybe I’m speaking for myself) ever really had an entanglement with him, we would end up needing therapy for life! As it is, he is there and we are here so we are safe. When I spot the red flags in someone I actually have physical contact with, I run fast and far from them.

      1. C★ says:

        depends on the nature of the “entanglement”…..

        1. RS says:

          I was referring to being an intimate partner.

    2. DebbieWolf says:

      Gypsylee73

      What is “silly” is admitting you havent read all of the comments or whatever else etc and thus you are not in possession of the facts.

      Therefore what you have said is inaccurate and does not make sense.

      Lol.

      1. Anonymous says:

        Except it makes perfect sense.

        “lol”

    3. Love says:

      You are welcome Gypsy.

    4. ava101 says:

      Haha, that’s an interesting solution. ;D

  11. LisaB says:

    From what I gather from HG’s definition, a true super empath tries to hold on and work things out, even during devaluation of the worst sort, but knows when to escape and never go back. I don’t believe that it means feeling sorry for everyone. I don’t. I’m a fighter. I fought with him and for the relationship, enduring treatment that another woman would have never tolerated. But when enough was enough, for the THIRD time, I LEFT. Before he could humiliate me further and discard me again. I have not gone back and it has been 6 months since I saw him and 3 months no contact. He’s a greater narc, who plotted and planned ways to hurt me. He told me that he would lie awake at night every night for 15 YEARS, and plan how to hurt me the next day. His aim was to destroy me, and he nearly did. He’s gone from my life but not from my heart and soul. Not yet and maybe never. But I have escaped his control and deceit, forever. I don’t know if that makes me a super empath, but he told me that I sure am “a challenge” and that’s why he needed me. I was his best fuel.

    1. Presque Vu says:

      THIS is exactly and I mean Exactly what I went through!
      ‘He’s a greater narc, who plotted and planned ways to hurt me’ this is what I couldn’t wrap my head around – despite this I stayed trying to make it work but I knew what he was doing! I knew for a long time.

      When he discarded me I knew he would be back so went NO CONTACT true to word – he’s back. 8 months I have ignored him and over a month since he reappeared – I’m still ignoring. That’s the hardest part but when we decide enough is enough – that’s it. I feel almost Narcissistic at this point because I hope he’s infuriated, I hope he’s frustrated, I hope his fuel provisions are so shit he becomes reclusive and depressed. I want that, and wanting that feels good. It’s keeping me away.

      Lisa I hope you’re still no contact and doing good. I keep getting inspired by everyone’s experiences and it’s fuelling my own path to victory. You are a fighter and you won!

  12. Oh…what a tangled web we “un-weave”, when we practice to “just be”…

    Hello HG…

  13. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD. says:

    Has everyone kissed and made up yet?

  14. Jane Hall says:

    I am a SE Feel sorry for everyone and everything. Makes me a good nurse but a hopeless escapee from Mr Narc.

  15. DebbieWolf says:

    Hi T and NA and all 💞

    Agreed.

    I guess getting mad also comes from a Trigger Point too.
    I’m afraid I lost patience.🤔

    I felt offended when part of “the pack” was being attacked at the back legs. (for crying out loud always with the wolf terms 😉)

    It felt like an interloper was deliberately attacking.

    To be fair I sound like a ‘Dalek’ myself now saying ‘interloper”.

    I’m not interested in whether I’ve caused offence or not, I admit that, because what I’ve said I’d say again based on the offence that was being meted out to others.

    I don’t take kindly to people coming on here and telling different members to stay in “their role” aswell.

    I.e. As toward C* for instance who happens to be a a very giving and lovely person caring for nature.
    If staying in her role is to be a wonderful and decent human being then so be it.

    It is amazing how HG gets us all Fired Up one way or another, even in his absence of having anything to do with the squabble, but of course he does, after what we’ve all gone through and him being our sort of narc hero saviour here. Some of us are still going through our various levels of hell..

    Who better to show us the way out than the one who knows the way in.

    I won’t go on and on leaving a horrendously long post.. afterall I do appreciate it isn’t why we’re here.

    We are here to learn from HG and grow and support each other and I must say some of the people on here are so spectacular.. and yes I will be dramatic here.

    Some of the people on here are amazing and anybody should be proud and honoured to have you as partners in their lives. The stunning ways of kindness and the sense of humour what a bunch of people that are just gold.

    And what strength that I see, even when we feel so broken and appear here yet showing such utter backbone and ‘never say die’ spirit.

    Talk about Phoenix rising from the Ashes.. I feel a sense of pride in you .. even though I don’t know anyone of course, when I read some of your posts, because of the strength, the kindness, the decency that will not be crushed.

    Bruised but ready for the comeback…better, stronger, fitter, if that was even possible than you already are! Yes..still are that.

    I send my love and I mean that.
    I cannot believe what gems, wonderful gems of human beings that feel resigned to be alone now.
    No. You are much too precious and valuable and beautiful, not to be hidden away..but…only if you will be happy by doing it ofcourse.

    I know that feeling though and have it myself..about being on my own now.. but life comes knocking at the door and it isn’t always a narcissist !
    It is going to get better for us step by step. I truly believe this.

    We do not need to climb a mountain every day, all we need to do is take one small step at a time.

    I want and hope everything for you that you want and hope for yourselves.❤

    Onwards 🐾

    🛡

    1. K says:

      Yeah, man! C* rocks! Nobody puts C* in a corner!

      1. K says:

        Forget the sidelines, ladies! Before Headmaster Tudor ruins all the fun, let’s gather around in a virtual circle and start chanting fight, fight, fight, fight ! Show me your violence and I will show you mine!!!! Let’s paint our faces blue and wear kilts! And scream like barbarians! Mud on your face, big disgrace, kicking your can all over the place !!!

      2. K says:

        And remember, if you see Headmaster Tudor coming, scatter in different directions so he can’t catch you. If you are unlucky enough to get caught , remember these words: deniable plausibility, It wasn’t me. No, that doesn’t make any sense. Alll Yanks should plead the Fifth, and by all means use blame shifting. If you are scared shitless, just play dumb and keep shrugging your shoulders.

  16. catlady2468 says:

    I get busy at work for a few weeks and miss out on all the drama apparently… What the actual f*#k did I just stumble upon in the commentary?! LOL it’s like some warped version of the Truman show or candid camera maybe… Did I actually just read all of that …?

    Screw popcorn, I need to grab a bottle of gin and reread this. Perhaps then I’ll be able to appropriately appreciate and understand…

    If not, bonfire anyone? 🙂

    1. K says:

      catlady2468

      I miss out on all the drama too. Think I will roll a fatty J and go along for the ride. Pass me some gin, if you don’t mind.

    2. Love says:

      We were filming The Narc Bachelor. Reality show at its best.

      1. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD. says:

        I don’t fight over men BUT I’d fight for MY man. I sure as shit wouldn’t let a woman disrespect me by obviously flirting and hanging all over my man. That’s when a bitch needs to be put in her place.

        1. Love says:

          Lol Doc! I see that NY girl coming out!

      2. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD. says:

        Love,

        LOL!!! I’m a lover not a fighter….

        A woman only disrespected me ONCE and she never did it again. It was during one of my exboyfriend’s prom. I ignored it and ignored it and then she pushed me too far and needed to be corrected. The only time you will really see my crazy come out is when a woman is all over my man. I’m an only child. People can’t just touch what is mine. Not unless they want some serious consequences.

        1. Love says:

          I love that fire Doc 💋

      3. narc affair says:

        Dr. H…im the same way. Id not put up with a woman openly flirting with my man. Thats pretty bold and should be confronted. There are women and men thatll do that. As far as fighting over a man id fight for a relationship but id never fight over a man. If i have to fight over him whoever can have him. This is what narcissists thrive off of.
        The same can be said for myself when ive been with hubby and some guy has flirted with me i make it obvious im not intetested. To disrespect your spouse openly in front of them is so hurtful and deliberate.

        1. NarcAngel says:

          Different twist on that. My first husband was an imposing man physically (but not a narc) and at a public venue where StepNarc was present, a man said to StepNarc about me: look at that one-Id actually fight her big bastard of a husband for that. StepNarc replied: oh its not her husband you have to worry about-Its her dad. Hes an even bigger bastard and a mean prick. Guy laughs and says: i dont care-I can run fast. StepNarc says: you cant run that fast-youre talking to him. And then the fight began. After the brawl that ensued was over,of course StepNarc came off as the hero for standing up for his own and the repeating of that story never ended (by him and by others) Yup-proof he was a great guy. Puke.

        2. NarcAngel says:

          Forgot an important part of that story-it was my fault the guy was interested (StepNarcs take of course) cause I looked like a slut. I was wearing jeans, boots, and a long sleeved t-shirt.

  17. c-star, know your role, and stay in it.

    1. C★ says:

      mmmm, yeah….I don’t do role playing, sorry chica

  18. c-star, know your role and stay it.

  19. Twilight,

    You proved a point. My behavior is uncalled for, therefore I will stop.
    I don’t want no one to hurt, or feel bad for my negative behavior.

    1. NarcAngel says:

      HGT#1Fan

      All fun and nonsense here aside, if you are not just causing a fuss for fun, and you are that adamnant about the title, HG must have assisted you greatly with your situation whatever that may be and you are very grateful. That we understand as most of us here share that sentiment. Do you care to share with us your story or how it is you ended up finding HG and the blog? That would be more interesting a discussion, appropriate to his blog, and honor your devotion to him I think. Your call.

    2. Twilight says:

      HG#1F

      I understand in your heart and mind you are HGs #1 fan, to many here this is their belief to. There is absolutely nothing wrong with that belief.
      To many here he has been a life savior, the one they grab on to when that storm becomes rocky, this is how you are coming across he is your life savior and feeling as if you must share causes distress,
      Finding a constructive way in dealing with triggers is needed that is all.
      I wish you the best in your journey!

    3. Twilight says:

      HG#1F

      I would be interested in hearing your story if you feel like sharing, if not I understand the need for privacy and working things out privately.
      I would encourage continuing with the consults with HG, in that case.

  20. Love yes, you are the queen you wear the crown. Enjoy!

    1. Love says:

      HG1F, I’ve worked out who you are. I actually liked you when you first came on board. You seemed nice. I don’t know what’s going on with you now. If you’re having an episode and need this to burn through it, then by all means. If you need our help, we are there. Feel better. ❤

    2. Geminimom says:

      Hgtudor#1fan,
      What thread is your naked ass on? I can’t find it.

      1. Love says:

        Lol that was funny! 😂
        HGN1F, your ‘assets’ are in demand 😁

    3. Twilight says:

      HGT#1F

      No she is not the queen, she wears a teira, not a crown.

      Love
      I mean no offense in that statement, I know you adore HG and have claimed the teira. Just every time it looks like someone is about to steal it your claws come out. Now that I have written this I am curious to why you do this every time?

      1. Love says:

        Just me being petty and jealous. And not sharing or playing well with others in sandbox. Tis all. 😁
        There is no crown, no tiara, and no titles.

        1. Twilight says:

          Lol I know there is no crown or such

          I am a little confused thou as to being jealous, why is this?

          1. Love says:

            Mr. Tudor says it is a narc trait. So I must have some narcky narc scoops in my empath sundae 🍦

          2. Twilight says:

            I know it is a trait. I also know you don’t have to be one of them to experience jealousy.

            Thank you Love for answering my questions. I do hope you have a lovely day.

          3. Love says:

            Do you not feel it Twilight?

          4. Twilight says:

            Feel what Love?

          5. Love says:

            Jealousy

          6. Twilight says:

            No I have never experienced jealousy as my own.

          7. Love says:

            Wow. That’s interesting. I know jealousy is not a primary emotion and it is just a mask over fear which is another mask over sadness.
            But, my therapist says that to enjoy the highs, one must experience the lows. Granted we are working on balancing those emotions within me. For me not to have such dramatic highs and lows. More calmer waves. 🌊

          8. Indy says:

            Interesting discussion, Twilight and Love,

            I hope it is OK if I throw my two cents in. Sort of my ramblings in response and thoughts..

            Yes, all emotions are normal and natural, including jealousy. Some experience it mildly and rarely while others more intensely and frequently. Some people do block certain emotions as well, for different reasons. I used to block anger for a very long time and just got re-connected to it recently. Jealousy is something I do not feel as intensely, though when I do, I usually hide it. That is probably why the last ex quickly stopped playing jealousy games with me with other women, because I did not show it.

            It is theorized by some that jealousy is one of the more tribal-based emotions(related to social groups), related to our relationship to others. Because we evolved as social creatures (more or less), emotions like jealousy communicate to us and others when we feel there is an imbalance in the order of the group dynamic and a fear of loss of relatedness to the “tribe”. Many of our emotions evolved to protect us from loss of life or way of being. Being outside of the tribe was life threatening, thus, related emotions such as jealously evolved. (Of course, this is a theory, one that i believe though with time may be disproved)

            As many already know here, it is always important to remember when we experience any emotion(or combination of such), we have the right to our own experiences and thus our emotions are always “valid”. Because they are our own internal experience and no one can tell us otherwise. This is one of the reasons it is important to not invalidate ourselves or others, because it is emotionally hurtful. (I didn’t see you guys doing this, this is just for general information)

            However, we also have to ask ourselves when emotions are “justified” to the situation. Is it in line with the situation and circumstances? Are our emotions telling us messages about past attachment patterns, for example. Then you have to think of perspective and culture. So for one person, an intense reaction to a loss is culturally appropriate and in line with expectations while in another culture it is not.

            For example, in one culture, being in mourning over the death of a spouse for a minimum of a year is normal and expected. In another, it is on the boarder of “complicated grief”, a diagnosis. In other times/other countries, one would take their own life, as part of cultural norms.

            Just babbling about emotions, as it helps me to understand things a bit and learn to step back from them, time to time and watch them as an observer. They are our internal messengers, quickly giving us feedback about things, if we just listen closely.

          9. Love says:

            Indy that was beautiful! Thank you!! 💜 jealousy being a tribal based emotion makes complete sense. Yes, it is fearing a loss. Loss of that person/group. Thank you for saying it is ok to feel what one feels. I don’t have control over the intensity of my emotions. They come like a tidal wave and at that moment I’m consumed by them. Later, I can look back and reflect. But there is absolutely NO logic when I’m in the ‘heat’ of the moment.

          10. Twilight says:

            How is sadness and and fear connected to jealousy?

          11. C★ says:

            and… is it “jealousy” or “possessiveness”??? or anger if not center of attention?

          12. Love says:

            Dear lord C-Star, read the thread further. I am honest to own my emotions and state exactly what I’m feeling. If you cannot relate, then so be it. But don’t sling mud when you don’t comprehend.

          13. C★ says:

            it was general question and not aimed at you personally

          14. Love says:

            From what I have learned the root emotion is sadness. Anger, jealousy, fear all cover over the primary emotion of sadness. So if a person is angry or wanting to be the ‘center of attention’ (for fear of being ignored/neglected), then truly the root of the matter is they are sad. They have lost their joy. They need to peel back the layers of anger, jealousy, fear, and address what is causing this sadness within them. This is a very complex process and it takes time. It requires one to practice mindfulness. And evolve spiritually. I’m far from reaching that space but can now recognize the reasons for my emotions.

          15. Twilight says:

            C⭐️
            I would like to know how sadness and fear mask jealousy.
            Being the center of attention can be part of a personality and not a trait stemming from jealousy/possessiveness.
            I have witness this from your own comments between those directed towards HG and directed towards others.

          16. NarcAngel says:

            Twilight

            Hello Twilight stepping out into the daylight.

          17. Twilight says:

            Hello Narc Angel

            Lol I was feeling a bit adventurous

          18. Twilight says:

            Narc Angel

            There you are! Look who is stepping out

            lol one device likes the old picture one apparently is on the ball and staying updated, Apple vs Samsung Apple is on the ball Samsung still stuck in yesterday

          19. RS says:

            I still can’t see how to post a picture. I guess I am electronically challenged. 🙁

          20. MLA - Clarece says:

            HI RS!
            Here’s the link to create a Gravatar that will link to WordPress whenever you go on. There is no charge.
            https://en.gravatar.com/

          21. RS says:

            Thank you so much! I’ll look it up now. Fingers crossed.

          22. RS says:

            It won’t let me log in because I can’t remember my password. It says it will send me an email but it doesn’t do it. I guess I shall remain faceless. ;-/

          23. NarcAngel says:

            RS
            Re:pic

            I think youre making excuses because youve cut your bangs too short and have a zit.

            Bwa hahaha.……
            Fiiiiiinnee!
            Clarece says I have to say sorry.

            Im sorry you cut your bangs too short and you have a zit.
            Bwa hahaha.……

            Ah man!! (Grumble grumble…was doing so good at no contact with the naughty stool.

          24. RS says:

            Ahahahahaha! You have the best sense of humor! My bangs are fine and I’m too old for zits! I really do want to put my picture up. I love seeing everyone’s face, it makes it more personal to see who you are talking to. Maybe my daughter can help me when she comes over tomorrow night. I can usually figure these things out. . . hmmm. So what did you do? Did you break no contact?

          25. RS says:

            If you want, you can go to my Facebook page and see what I look like.

          26. RS says:

            I did it! Yay!!!!!

          27. C★ says:

            do sadness and fear mask jealousy? i think not… jealousy masks other feelings and attitudes…

          28. Twilight says:

            In your opinion which emotions do you believe it masks?

          29. C★ says:

            jealousy masks, insecurity and lack of self esteem

          30. MLA - Clarece says:

            I tend to agree with that. Jealousy arises from strong feelings of inadequacy whether self-induced or inflicted upon from someone else. I went 40 + years not feeling jealous until JN came along.

          31. Twilight says:

            Love

            I believe I understand things from an answer I was responding with then delete.

            I wish you well with your therapy.

          32. Twilight says:

            Love

            When this fear of HG abandoning you here happens, which I do not believe will happen, remember that. If another shows this same tendency of yours remember how you feel, they maybe feeling the same way.
            Easier said then done, time and practice and you will master this particular emotion. Doesn’t mean it will be gone only you master it, not it master you.
            If you need to write it out, do so. Just don’t send it. Once words are said they can never be taken back. Being nice after the fact doesn’t always fix things, The tongue is mightier then the sword.

      2. Narc affair says:

        Jealousy is a very normal emotion but i cant understand it on here. I feel no jealousy over someone ive never met or am not involved with. Admiration, intrigue, curiousity yes, but jealousy no. Each to their own and i respect everyone feels differently.

        1. Indy says:

          Amen Narc Affair. Everyone has their own emotional experiences.

      3. Narc affair says:

        Great pic twilight!

      4. Twilight says:

        Indy

        I don’t see jealousy as a tribal or social emotion in regards with maintain structure with in a society or family unit.
        I see it as a step in a social structure breaking down.
        All it takes is one person to become jealous, depending on if they handle things or if they water things, will determine the outcome.

        Just my opinion

        1. Indy says:

          Hi Twilight,
          I respect your opinion and thank you for sharing it. I do agree with you that jealousy can be divisive in relationships and can breakdown larger social structures. It is certainly painful. All emotions, in extreme can be damaging to a degree, particularly in relationships.

          I’m of the opinion that all emotions have a purpose and a social function. It’s a framework I work from in DBT, though I’m definitely open to other ideas and your personal perspective does make me question my held believes a little more rigorously. That’s a good thing 😊

          Just a brief summary of the framework I come from in emotions:

          The function of emotions according to DBT:
          1. Emotions quickly Communicate a message to ourselves and others through nonverbal and behavioral actions. They also Influence Others.
          2. Emotions Organize and Motivate Action when needed.
          3. Emotions Can be Self-Validating

          According to this theory, jealousy is one of 7 core emotions: Joy, Fear, Sadness, Guilt, Shame, Anger, Envy, Jealousy. Love is sometimes added in there and I believe it should be. It’s a work in progress.

          The purpose of jealousy according to DBT is to protect ones status in the tribe and in relationships when one feels a threat of a potential loss of someone or something of value. Is it divisive, at times yes. Other times, in my opinion, it helps protect from loss from the social connection by taking certain actions. Those actions could be simply having a talk about the feeling. This can lead to increased closeness when with an empathic partner. Other times, though, if it is brought up repeatedly, it can lead to discord and break up.

          Thank you Twilight, and always feel free to challenge or disagree. I am attached to my framework but not do much that I fail to hear other great perspectives. It is a powerful emotion and hard to balance.

        2. Indy says:

          Oh, one more thing, continuing from my message on jealousy. My explanation is meant in general terms, not specific to this string on ppl being jealous of HG. I have a different perspective on that process. I also think it is normal for most ppl, asside from the rare extreme instance. It’s like developing an attachment to someone that is “safe”, like a teacher or therapist, that helped tremendously. Like transference. There is a natural fear of that loss and thus feelings of jealousy. It is important to pay attention to these feelings as it may give a signal to ones past attachment wounds, though not always.

          When one of my exes started pressing my buttons with regard to achievement, I realized this was my message to me. I needed to work on why I reacted so strongly.

          Does that make any sense. I also hope I didn’t offend anyone. If I did, tell me to go to hades. I’m just thinking out loud.

          1. Love says:

            Indy, your words make absolute sense. Yes, I’ve formed an attachment to Mr. Tudor for the last year. He is the one and only honest narc ever in my life. So I absolutely fear abandonment … I have always had that fear with all my narcs. It is like walking on the ledge of the roof of a high rise building. You never know when they’re going to push you off. Granted each fall hurts less and less, but the fear never completely goes away.

  21. DontMentionTheWar says:

    Is a resilient Super Empath also something like a kind of safe place for the narcissist?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Interesting observation.

      Yes, in terms of fuel. So long as her pretty face is stained with tears.

      1. K says:

        Ladies, I think we should settle this with a cock fight. I named my rooster Hurt God!

      2. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD. says:

        HG,

        Oyyyyy. LOL….

      3. DontMentionTheWar says:

        Thank you. If there would be the possibility of a meta communication between narcissist and Super Empath, would that automatically mean that the “language of fuel” between the both of them vanished in that second?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          No I do not regard that as something that would happen DMTW.

      4. blondie says:

        This short answer speaks volumes to me.

    2. Sunniva says:

      DontMentionTheWar,
      I can relate to that question. Everyday I care for my employees, and for my family and friends.
      Before I read this blog and the books of Mr Tudor, I felt like I was his “safe place”.
      He never introduced me to any of his friends, only to his kids, and our ad hoc interactions always left me with the feeling of beeing something safe for him. One of his kids said to me once: “I like it when you come visit, because everything calms down”.
      I am not saying that I am a Super Empath, but I do know I am a care-taker.
      Now, of course, I am fully aware of the levels of fuel I have provided him with over the years.

      1. DontMentionTheWar says:

        Hello, Sunniva,
        I think you are speaking of the good feeling when you can give? I remember that feeling, too.

      2. Sunniva says:

        Hi DontMentionTheWar,
        I am😊
        In my lack of english skills I tend to use too many words explaining myself.
        I always give. It makes me feel strong, so in a way that is my fuel. When too many people depend on my at once I sometimes do feel a bit strangled, but I am getting better at asking for help. But have to admit that asking for help does not come easy☺️

        Thank you for taking interest☺️

    3. superxena says:

      Hello DontMentionThe War!
      Very interesting question. I wouldn’t really call it a “safety place”. I would call it more like functioning as a “moral compass” to them. In my opinion.

      They need this compass to maintain the façade. Taking all the “good” traits from you as theirs for the façade. And as long as you resist the abuse ,give them the fuel they require and let them take your traits as theirs for keeping the façade …they will stay .

      Perhaps the Super Empath is the one that could endure the abuse longer being more resilient ….due to her narcissistic traits…Just a theory..

      Sent from my iPad

      1. DontMentionTheWar says:

        Hello, superxena,
        with the moral compass you are right when I think back 🙂

        1. HG Tudor says:

          SX has a strong moral compass.

          1. superxena says:

            Thank you HG for your compliment…I really appreciate it…

          2. HG Tudor says:

            Pleasure.

        2. superxena says:

          Hello DontMentionTheWar!

          Good to hear that you see it that way as well!

      2. Twilight says:

        Hello Superxena

        Interesting opinion, and one that makes sense.

        1. SuperXena says:

          Hello Twilight!
          Yes, many things make sense to me now when I look at them in retrospect!

          1. Twilight says:

            Hi Superxena

            Yes, for me to.

          2. Twilight says:

            SuperXena

            Would you have done things differently if you had the knowledge you do now?

          3. SuperXena says:

            ….interesting question Twilight.
            Do you mean with my former ex Greater? Then the answer is no.
            He burned all the bridges one by one and I think he would burn them once again..it wasn’t up to me but up to him to make things different..but I doubt he could: he is unable to make it different,he doesn’t have the tools to do so….

          4. Twilight says:

            Thank you SuperXena

            It is never our decision in this area, they have to make the choice. Nothing forced upon another brings better outcomes. They will just dig in deeper.

  22. superxena says:

    @Indy
    Ha,ha Indy ***eating popcorn*** you made me laugh! I am enjoying it as well!! Keep it rolling on…

    1. Ha ha! pass the popcorn Indy 🙂

      1. K says:

        snicker, snicker… thanks Indy!

  23. DebbieWolf says:

    Twilight 😎and Love❤

    Picture this… someone who is bored and taking the piss sat around with their friends deciding to: let’s say this on HGs Blog and wind everybody up.
    Picture this: idiots placing bets to see which one of us is going to respond first to sweeping statements that come out of Left Field that make no sense as throwing down The Gauntlet to anyone who’ll pick it up is also senseless and boring.

    Let everything HG has taught us about ignoring such antics work for us now. Because the real followers of HG ..us… never respond to those trying to get a rise out of Us. By not responding and remembering our middle initials?
    N.C.⤵
    No Contact.

    🛡

    1. Kim says:

      Bravo DebbieWolf!❤️

    2. DebbieGrowlingWolf says:

      Thanks Kim.💟

      and I think I’ll join Indy and have some popcorn..

      it’s like an episode of Doctor Who and the singular Dalek….” HG Tudor only HG Tudor ” ” no 1..no 1″

      For crying out loud it sounds bloody stupid.
      it just gets on people’s nerves. I couldn’t give a rat’s ass number fucking 1. Who gives a shit.
      Grow up.

      1. DebbieWolf says:

        Yeah I broke my own rule of no contact..
        Well… Poke a sleeping wolf and all that.

        before you say anything about that number one… stuff your supposed battle and any advice about who can spell what .. nobody is holding any peace whenever they dont want to.

        Goodbye. you are the weakest link.

      2. NarcAngel says:

        Oh dear. Things are dire if Debbie is mad. I dont believe Ive ever witnessed you post anything negative much less swear lol. Love the name change for the event.

    3. Twilight says:

      DebbieWolf

      I wanted to know specific things. Sometimes that means speaking to another. Everything isn’t what is seems, yet is exactly what it seems.
      Regardless what a person is they can still be educated, awareness comes from a trigger point.

  24. I am a Super Empath, and HG Tudor prefers Super Empaths.

    1. C★ says:

      ROTFLMFAO…..

      1. RS says:

        I’m glad you said that instead of me. 😉👍🏻

    2. Twilight says:

      HGT#1F

      He has made it known he prefers SE’s, what do you hold that makes you different from any other SE?

      1. Love says:

        Twilight:
        Not a Damn thing.

        1. Twilight says:

          Love,

          We all know your admiration for HG.
          Patience is a virtue.

          1. Love says:

      2. Indy says:

        ***eating popcorn***

      3. How would I know who you are? I am not here for you, or his fans. I am here simply gain knowledge from HG tudor, and HG Tudor only. He has saved my life in more ways than one.
        I hate to break the bad news to you, but I could careless about anyone else other than, HG Tudor.

        1. Love says:

          Little girl, as much as you may think you are completely and utterly devoted to Mr. Tudor, it is clear you have no understanding of all he’s written, nor his wants.
          1. You state you are greedy and will not share him:
          It is not about you. He decides who and what he wants
          2. You state you are a Super Empath and therefore his top selection:
          Again, it is not up to you. HE makes that determination and decides if you are worth a promotion.
          3. You post a pic of your naked ass(or someone elses) thinking Mr. Tudor will fall to his knees in a lustful frenzy for your body:
          Wrong again. If you have read his books and articles, you would understand it is your fuel (in its most purest empathic form) that entices him. A beautiful exterior is merely icing on the cake.

          I recommend you pick yourself up off that sand, shower (as he likes them clean), cover your ass, and read his work.

          1. C★ says:

            oh, come on, its a great ass! I want one too!!!

          2. NarcAngel says:

            Okay its gone beyond ridiculous and now Im laughing and have to throw down just for fun.

            It is a great ass and I straight up cant compete with it for #1, but Im a Super Empath also and in a cage match with me youre fucked lol.

            Place your bets…………

            Hahaha. Who cares. HG has a whole army of # 1s so the average is still 1.
            (Pssst Indy: No brownies-Im training).

          3. C★ says:

            yeah, babe!

          4. Love says:

            NarcAngel, they don’t call you Turbo Tatas for nothing. 😉 Don’t underestimate yourself!
            I love Empath Cage Fighting! Tag me in when you need a break. 💪

          5. NarcAngel says:

            HG

            Jesus! Now we gotta be pretty. It never ends with you lot.

          6. C★ says:

            just kidding, ,,,, not really….

        2. Twilight says:

          I don’t expect you to know who I am, my title here makes no difference.
          You say you are a SE, I do beg to differ, you words say different. Your actions towards others say differently. Maybe you are still very angry and need an outlet, yet taking it out on others is showing you in a very different light. Maybe you are blind and can not see the light, yet if you are it won’t matter what you learn from HG you will always be blind.
          Caring for none other then HG is walking a thin line of obsession.

        3. C★ says:

          sorry to “break it to you”, but, this isn’t fan club and HG isn’t a celebrity (yet) …. and blogs are to interact on and learn from everyone. So I suggest if you want a real “one on one” with our Master, spend some cash and book a private consult! Put your $$$ where your mouth is…Just think of everything you can learn from him personally, rather than simply his blog… O & BTW who did your BBL? Fantastic!

          1. HG Tudor says:

            For the sake of good order, HGT1F has had repeated consultations with me.

          2. C★ says:

            oh Snap! so sorry!!! MY BAD!!

          3. HG Tudor says:

            Not a problem C Star, just maintaining the accuracy.

          4. Love says:

            Then it is clear she needs to continue to book consults because she has learned nothing thus far.

          5. HG Tudor says:

            Ouch!

          6. Twilight says:

            HG a consult with you doesn’t mean one is an empath. Even your kind need saving to, not saying they are, just stating a fact.
            I do hope they are just still angry and working through this, if so more consults are needed to work things out.

      4. Loyalty to only, HG Tudor.

        1. Twilight says:

          So loyalty involves driving those that adore him away?

      5. Narc affair says:

        Indy ….is it buttered popcorn? Im craving kettlecorn actually 😄 carry on…

  25. C★ says:

    “The Burning Bed”

    1. C★ says:

      just plead temporary insanity….

    2. Jane Hall says:

      poor poor kids, poor poor women. Makes me so sad.

  26. Anne says:

    This one was fun. Bunch of pyros burning bridge’s! Roofs, world’s! Well damb, hopefully everyone could laugh! With my twisted sense of humor i see alot of this as hysterical. Don’t get me wrong, i was hit, but i look at some of it cracking up, what in the? Ya gotta be kidding? What am i upset about? The man literally shits the bed, alcoholic, nasty, nasty, habits. Ya, sign me up! Plus, I’ve seen that demon, he doesn’t play well with other’s! Heads up buttercups, keep laughing.

  27. superxena says:

    Well..that’s an statement that I would definetely like you to expand:
    ” I burn bridges all of the time.” What do you mean HG?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      When I dis-engage. I can build them again of course, that’s the beauty of being me.

      I also like to actually burn things too. I did a lot of that when I was younger.

      1. superxena says:

        How can you build them again ? It is just ashes remaining…you can build another new bridge but it might not lead you to the same path..
        Really? Burning things? Do you like to do it? What do youf think yourself about that? How old were you when you start doing it? What did you use to burn??

      2. Lisa says:

        Arsonist HG ?

      3. Narc affair says:

        Hg…Is that why you chose the burning heart icon?
        Where did the fascination come from to burn things if you dont mind? What is it about it you enjoy?
        My hubby from a young age loved fire and watching things burn. He never burned anything substantial but it was something that he enjoyed observing. Hed burn things in the back alley.
        I watched a story about a pastors son who had been an arsonist for years while living under the same roof with his parents. They eventually found out it was him and struggled with their decision to turn him in. They did tell the authorities and i cant imagine a parent having to do that 🙁

        1. HG Tudor says:

          I was a prolific arsonist when I was younger. It is the power that comes with destruction and the knowledge of the chaos it wreaks. I still like to set things on fire now. I will be writing more about this NA.

      4. narc affair says:

        I look forward to the fire fascination blogs HG. I find it interesting learning about why its something someone enjoys.

        1. Indy says:

          Hi NA,
          Me too.
          I love fire myself and used to use it in rituals (sending letters and prayers to the heavens written on paper, cleansing of past memories such as burning pictures and items, etc). I never burned structures though, I only burned small things or at a planned bonfire/camp fire.

        2. Lisa says:

          Hi Narc Affair , I dread to think what’s coming with these fire posts 🔥 🔥 😱

  28. kq says:

    Oh cool, look! It’s me.

    My descent too was rather slow, 10 years too slow. I was told repeatedly I was too alpha, defiant and too sure of myself.

    Sigh, what a wild ride.

  29. Sophia says:

    Sometimes I can’t decide if I’m a super empath or a narcissist myself. I feel I have my own fuel matrix. Do many super empaths feel fueled by narcissists or others? Am I only truly empathetic to narcissists? I question myself often.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      No they do not. If you are wondering whether you are a narcissist, you are not.

      1. Lisa says:

        HG what are your thoughts on the so called Inverted Narcissist and what would they be called in the terminology that you use ?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          I don’t recognise that phrase.

          1. Lisa says:

            HG I think there must be another Lisa on the blog , she asked you about love letters and your offering your address for correspondence!! Favouritism Tut Tut 😜

          2. HG Tudor says:

            Ha ha, me exhibit favouritism? Never.

      2. ava101 says:

        Lisa: my mother is one (in my opinion), as she kind of behaved like a co-dependent towards my father, acting like his slave, always putting him in the center. It is very hard to detect that she is a narc indeed and that she has 0 empathy. She is more intelligent and a higher narc than my narc father was, I think, but needed him (and me) to act out her egocentricity or grandiosity, she kind of hid behind him, putting him into the center, but for herself. She seemed never to decide, being responsible or in control of/for anything herself, but had good control of my father indeed. She also uses no makeup, acts as if she didn’t need anything for herself, … I have known several narcs of this inverted supposedly self-sacrificing helper type, who seem to take pride in not dressing up, etc.

        1. Lisa says:

          Hi ava101, that’s interesting . Yes from what I’ve read or from what I can understand and this may be wrong . They are almost like co dependants but they only like narcissists and would have no attraction to normals or anyone that had any kind of empathy . They only have attraction and feel satisfied by narcissists . It’s kind of weird . So they themselves are narcissists but not the ones that want empaths. It’s very confusing . I’m not sure what HG would think of this ? I’ve wondered whether they have Avoidant Personality Disorder as they have Narc traits and don’t like any kind of intimacy but are not actually full blown narcissists ? Have you ever discussed this with your parents ?

      3. ava101 says:

        No, Lisa, haha, I haven’t discussed anything with my parents.
        My mother never seemed to mind that my father had no empathy, that’s right. What she seemed to like about him, was that she could put him in the center of attention, she got her sense of superiority through him; she lived her narcissism through him. She had kind of a problem when he died, but recovered remarkedly fast. He also was her black sheep when anything went wrong or when she would have to face responsibility. She has a kind of learned helplessness about her, a dependent personality disorder, though I’m never sure if that is to get others to do as she wishes as a narc, and do jobs for her, or in how far she really feels she can’t do anything. But she passed it on to me that I’m not “allowed” to do anything for myself or by myself, to that might be deeply embedded into her. She can come across as very naive and innocent, but if she wants to, she is extremely smart and can do suprising things. 😉 But she is a believer in authorities, too, while not minding to cheat on taxes. I was once talking to her about how much my health insurance costs me, and all I got was “well, I married, haha.”.

        She has me as an empath, she had (has) her 3 children as fuel sources and expanded that to my brothers in law, and my nephew. She really doesn’t seem to get though that I have completely different feelings and levels of understanding than she does.

        No, she is definitely a narcissist, she has no empathy at all, she has no accountability or any sense of responsibility, she regards all people as being there for her, incl. their possessions, she lies, betrays and schemes (in her small world), she is abusive, entitled and regards herself as being better. She doesn’t do intimacy, and I’m 100 % sure that she never had any other man but my father. She gets lively when surrounded by family, and also has a circle of neighbors and female friends. When she is alone, or when I am alone with her and don’t know what to say to her (which happens frequently), she deflates.
        My father was different, he was a regular lower mid range narc. I believe my mother to be a mid midrange narc, and smarter and more cunning than he was.

        My mother is also very passive aggressive, she acted like my father’s slave, and took his verbal and emotional abuse, but she manipulated him. She used her victim role to get what she wanted and to build her facade of the perfect house wife and mother, while always passive aggressively sabotaging all kinds of stuff. E.g. the kitchen was her domain only, I wasn’t allowed to cook, etc., but what she cooked was from canned food or it was horrible. My parents fought about how the potatoes were cooked for as long as I lived under their roof. 😉

        1. Lisa says:

          Ava101, when I read all these stories I realise how fortunate I was not to be brought up by narcissist parents, I have the best mum in the world . I do however recognise there were narcissists in the family but it never effected me in anyway . I can just see it now but that’s just statistical I guess

      4. ava101 says:

        Thank you, Lisa, I find something to be grateful for here every day, too. 🙂

  30. Lilly says:

    HG, can I please ask if a co-dependant can actually evolve into a super empath over time, experience and gaining knowledge??
    I definitely believe I was the Cod some years back, but after 5 years of educating myself, 2 of reading your blog, I’m now relating to the Super.

    A recent 8 month relationship with a long period of serious lovebombing, a few minor (but significant enough to save to memory) incidents along the way, culminated in a massive devalue for a few days. Totally unacceptable and undeserved.

    Narcy mare that I can be, went quiet on all fronts and then i simply ended it. No big drama, just a call out on the behaviours i wont accept and said goodbye. He didn’t expect it, that’s for sure.

    Is that how the Super works? Five years ago I’d be making excuses for him….or have I just learnt to kick B.S to the kerb??

    Many thanks

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Hi Lilly, no they cannot.

  31. Kim says:

    HG, as an Elite do you mostly choose Super Empaths for Primary Sources? Why or why not? Thanks!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      I do.

      Why? I like the challenge they present.

  32. NarcAngel says:

    HG
    I have always read this with regard to intimate partner scenarios but this time I wondered if that was the reason StepNarc always targeted me. I still haven’t decided if my Mother was Co-D or a Narc herself (I have not focused on that yet and may need another consultation), so I always assumed he targeted me to get at her, but I also always felt he wanted to “break” me. He was a POS so low he had to look up to see Lesser and you have advised that they are lazy not usually up for a challenge but is it possible because I was close enough (in the home) that he didnt have to work so hard that he enjoyed the challenge as my mother was not any challenge to him?

    Bit scattered. Hope that made sense.

  33. The gaslighting was so great I did not understand what was happening. This kind of abuse can make anyone commit suicide. It is so harmful to anyone receiving it from the other end of the spectrum. When I escaped my Narc, he was very up-set when I file “no contact”!! You really have to listen to your intuition because if he would have came back in the home one of us would have been dead.

  34. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD. says:

    My supernova- mode is on some other level shit lol! Pshhhhh I don’t just escape….. 🤣

    1. Love says:

      Yes Doc but do you set bridges on fire? 🔥
      That is a whole new level!
      The roof the roof the roof is on fire!

      1. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD. says:

        Love,

        I’ve burned many bridges because I just don’t care lol….

        When I’m in super-nova mode … I’d burn this whole moherfuckin world down. Lol!

      2. First of all who the heck are you?
        Secondly, I don’t wear cheap Tiaras.
        Thirdly, I am greedy, therefore i do not, and will not share.
        By the way, there can only be one #1.
        The title belongs to me.

        HG Tudors #1 fan

        1. C★ says:

          lol…

          1. Love says:

            C-Star, don’t you have some more socks to buy? No time for lollygagging. Get on it, chop chop.

          2. C★ says:

            hahaha………..

        2. Love says:

          Yes dear, I’m sure you’re not familiar with any real jewelry. So naturally you are not used to wearing a tiara. As for cheap, I am not familiar with the concept and will defer to you about the subject.
          In regard to who I am, just goes to show how you’ve not been around to not know any of Mr. Tudor’s fans.
          Sweetheart, you are not #1. You’re just a number. So please wait until your number is called.

          1. RS says:

            Hahaha! Good one! 👍🏻💜

  35. Indy says:

    Do you have a questionnaire that you go by to determine the type of empath someone is, if they ask you in consultation?

    Does it help us to know what kind of empath we are in some way for our future goals of evading future narcissists?

    Just debating on getting a consult now or later. Now, to prep for the dating world or later, when I am in it.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      No I do not operate a questionnaire, I operate by allowing the person to talk and then I will ask some questions. I prefer for the person to talk because if I just asked questions all the time they might try to second guess.

      Absolutely it does.

      I am pleased you did Indy the SSE, Marcher and Purveyor of Strange Potions, Possessor of Interesting Laugh and Blood Curdling Scream.

      1. Indy says:

        Hi HG,

        I very much enjoyed the consultation with you and felt it invaluable! I feel more on a path on what to look out for in myself and that’s so helpful! I definitely recommend it to others!

        I think you are right, after going through it, that letting me talk about my history and patterns was best and put me more at ease. I was nervous at first. if there were a questionaire there may have been self doubt, rater bias, over self analysis, etc.

        My laugh, yes, I have had others comment on it too. 😂

        Given my witchy SSE status, I’m sizing hats and capes as we speak for “Cape Day” at work and Halloween. If I wear them other days, I might get sent to our paddled rooms. Yes, really have those too.

        Indy the empathic witch of the south

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Good to read. I enjoyed speaking to you too.

  36. Anne says:

    I called him out, stood on the bridge while i set on fire. Funny, a outside observer told me a bit ago that he saw me as a challenge when telling them about the situation. Thank you again, has helped me excape this fog!

    1. Love says:

      Anne, you set a bridge on fire? You go girl! You pyromaniac you!

      1. HG Tudor says:

        I burn bridges all of the time.

        1. Love says:

          But did u burn down a real one?

          1. HG Tudor says:

            I have, it was only footbridge.

          2. Love says:

            What gives you pleasure in burning something? Is it the power of destroying or do you see the beauty of the fire?

          3. HG Tudor says:

            Forthcoming articles will expand on this for you Love.

          4. MLA - Clarece says:

            Ooohhh sounds like you have a lot of new material coming our way!

          5. HG Tudor says:

            Indeed I do.

          6. Love says:

            Thank you 🔥

          7. HG Tudor says:

            I have, it was only a footbridge.

          8. Twilight says:

            HG

            I am curious how long did it take?

          9. HG Tudor says:

            How long did what take Twilight?

          10. Twilight says:

            For the footbridge to be engulfed?

          11. HG Tudor says:

            Not when you use accelerants.

          12. Twilight says:

            Ha ha a man after my own heart
            Accelerants speed things along

            Sorry I adore fire! It has a life of its own. It produces energy from the fuel it consumes. Many could learn much from just watching it.

          13. NarcAngel says:

            Twilight.

            ‘It produces energy from the fuel it consumes”

            Apparently Narcs have learned a thing or two from watching it.

          14. Twilight says:

            NarcAngel

            Lol I would say so, they do have a knack for peeling layers back and exposing them, then one either holds fast to the wasteland or new growth begins.
            I think I need more sleep 😴

          15. Twilight says:

            For the record I don’t start fires to “destroy” or cause harm, fire can be a good thing. Fire is a force of nature, to one it looks to be the end yet within it lies beauty and rebirth.

      2. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD. says:

        HG,

        Show off 😉

      3. Twilight says:

        HG insightful, yet fire holds its own beauty and life.

        1. C★ says:

          Hale Fire, element of the south….

  37. RS says:

    So if I have had enough and escaped, am I a super empath or just a “had enough” empath?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Had enough. I will be expanding on this in an article.

    2. Narc affair says:

      Rs…i had enough many times yet i go back. I wish i was a super empath and leave for good. He keeps pushing me to my limit then gaslights and hoovers. I know its not me imagining the way hes been to me. Hes really f’ed up a good thing and that makes me angry yet i find it very hard to say goodbye. No i feel more like a codependant. I need to borrow some super empath from someone.

      1. RS says:

        I read somewhere that most of us go back at least 7 times and I surely did! I also read that life is kind of “blah and boring” without them around. I guess, for some, negative attention is better than no attention. That was how I felt. My life is very blah. Reading HG’s books (especially Sex and the Narcissist) made me finally realize I had had enough. The only thing he and I had was sex. I thought that maybe he had pleasant memories of that from time to time like I did. He does not! Anything good that we think they are, we are just projecting our feelings onto them. This has helped me stay away for 9 months. You will get there too. I can honestly say I don’t have any tender feelings towards him at all anymore.

  38. Lisa says:

    HG, I don’t know what I am, I didn’t think I was anything until I met him. I think I could be a super empath but not sure. Do you know when you start dating someone which of these they are ? Or do you get involved sometimes not really knowing ?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      I ascertain before I move in for the ‘kill’ as described in Sitting Target. If you want to know what you are, consult with me.

      1. robins359 says:

        What is the fee for that?

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