Poll – How Were You Seduced?

POLL

How were you seduced by the narcissist (or narcissists if more than one)? Most people will identify with this in the context of the romantic dynamic, but it also applicable to the social or work dynamics also.

What was it about the narcissist in particular which resulted in your seduction? What formed part of the love-bombing? Did you fall for those radiant good looks, perhaps their sheer charisma blew you away or their largesse through gift-giving and taking you to wonderful places drew you in? Was this how they secured your friendship, achieved your loyalty through work or caused you to fall in love with the narcissist? The focus is on what it was about the narcissist as opposed to your inherent susceptibility.

Of course if you had more than narcissist ensnare you, it may have been different hooks which you drew you in or different hooks with the same narcissist, either way you can choose up to five different options if that is the case (you need to choose them all at the same time when completing the poll by the way).

Feel free to expand in the comments on what those heart hooks were and how they impacted on you. Perhaps you were surprised to find that his mind drew you in or you were stunned to find it was their apparent kindness that secured your love.

I look forward to your answers and thank you for participating.

How were you seduced?

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221 thoughts on “Poll – How Were You Seduced?

  1. Ali says:

    Funny. Pre marriage he did not self sabotage and did not have the victim mentality. He seemed to have his act together and a promising career ahead of him.

  2. jenna says:

    I was first attracted to his moral compass (facade?). I felt that he may be attracted to me because he kept saying i’m beautiful, how he wants a significant other as sweet as me, etc. He showed me a shirtless pic of himself once, where he was pulling down his track pant on one side, exposing the elastic of his undergarment. I thought this went against his religious belief of modesty, so i was a bit surprised. I have to admit, i found the pic sexy. Finally, a few wks later, after a few more incidents, i asked him if he has a crush on me, n he answered in the affirmative. After that, he wud hold my hand and ask me what type of things i like. I thought he was so sweet to take the time to ask about that. (I did not know at the time he was gathering info for mirroring purposes.) One day, he kissed me. It was the softest, most romantic kiss i have ever experienced. He held my head frm behind and pulled me towards him. I was done. I was hooked.
    He was always kind to me in person – v affectionate, engaging, sweet, gentle.
    In addition to liking his character, he is extremely good looking, has a great dressing style, and keeps in shape by going to the gym 3x per week. This may seem trivial but he has broad, muscular, squared shoulders, which i love (personal preference). I do not like muscular, rounded shoulders on men. I find it unappealing. He has a small waist, so his shoulder to waist ratio is v attractive! His pectoral muscles and abs are well defined, which is important to me also. I go to efforts to take care of my weight and body, and i like that he is health conscious and minds his weight also. Most of all, i miss cuddling with him. We wud cuddle for 3 hrs, just looking into each other’s eyes, holding hands, kissing, touching gently. Damn i miss him!

  3. CH says:

    Firstly, thank you muchly for your blog and for your regular emails with pictures and text.

    Secondly, I would not describe my acquaintance as a narcissist, because to do so would be very judgmental, which I have promised never to be. However, the issues, character traits, and situations that you describe have been and continue to be food for thought. Oh yes, I was warned …

    I am not a narcissist (well, at least I don’t think I am!). I prefer to see myself as an empath, though I was somewhat shocked into reality at your empath descriptions – because I appear to fit #2 quite well, despite never following through because ‘the charming one’ quickly pulled back.

    2. As above save that the empath regards sex as so significant that they need it yet they do not want to hurt their spouse. Accordingly, they seek their spouse’s blessing to seek sex outside of the marriage but otherwise want nothing more external to the relationship. This is the response of an empath who has the narcissistic trait of infidelity but it is not so strong as to amount to a dirty streak;

    Was I seduced, yes absolutely. Totally unsuspecting, no conscious desire for interaction, but within the first three minutes of walking into his office I was oh so mesmerised (absolutely floored!). There was nothing special about him physically (he is an Asian guy and I am Caucasian gal – a pairing that had never previously spiked my interest). Just an ordinary Asian male probably at least 10-15 years younger than me (well so I thought) and me a regular Caucasian lady approaching middle age (50+ is middle age these days!). As it transpires, we’re less than three years apart in age.

    For the next three years, nothing exceptional happened, except for the occasional subtle banter via our work emails. Always very professional, just cute and witty exchanges … things that made me smile. Rare face-to-face interaction always occurred in the presence of others. However, we always seemed to be on the ‘same page’.

    What has emerged since is that we’re quite similar in lots of ways, unhappy experiences in childhood, similar educational paths and successes, and where we live, but then we are very different too – money is probably the biggest difference and the freedom of choice that financial success can bring obviously weighs heavily on his mind.

    I don’t know what changed, but one day earlier this year he offered me his private email address out of the blue, so we started seriously corresponding. I was gushing in my ‘sharing’, but he was his usual ‘reserved’ self (very typical of our work personas – I have red hair, so that says it all!)

    The golden period blossomed – shit loads from me – but very little in return (not that this bothered me), but these wonderful exchanges were then extinguished almost instantaneously.

    Here was this person whose mind I absolutely adore (he has traits that I find exceptionally beautiful, such as perfectionism, timeliness in meeting deadlines, etc. – work related attributes that make my job so much easier). We are not office colleagues, but we have need to work closely together as contractor and contracting entity.

    Am I a victim, no definitely not. Did I make myself vulnerable, probably? In my defence, peri-menopause is not all downhill – sometimes there is a tremendous upswing in life … lust and desire as substitutes for love are great stimulators.

    Was I seduced, absolutely! But I don’t mind. I’m continuing to enjoy myself and I hope he is too, a mutual understanding that I hope will never tarnish too much.

    I’m totally clueless about what made me fall for my acquaintance, but perhaps that’s the essence of our relationship (a rocky, sometimes crumbly and fragile friendship, but forever as solid as a rock).

    For what it’s worth, I’m probably at best a tertiary source.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Hello CH, thank you for sharing your experience and I am pleased that my work is proving both interesting and useful to you. You were allocated the role of Non Intimate Secondary Source by this individual.

      1. fauxfur5 says:

        We were at a club on a night neither of us had planned to be there. I stood next to him and he asked me about a mutual friend in Australia. I had no idea who he was but he remembered me from a comment I had made on the friend in questions fb page about something months earlier. Turns out we had moved in the same social circles for years and never met (.same parties etc). I even shopped in his shop for a time.We were in the same year in high school, had so many mutual friends yet I genuinely had never seen him before. We had the same tastes in practically everything. Still do So I know that wasn’t faked for me in particular. I suppose i thought it was fate at the time, Now i’m inclined to believe that we had never met before for good reason…

  4. gina says:

    He would flirt but no go further than that. I got to know him better after his brother’s passing and looking back on that he wasn’t grieving. He received ownership of a restaurant his bother was in control of but in the family and I got to know him better when this happened.

    He was a “victim”, everything was a disaster according to him and he always had a pity party. Horrible marriage, based on a pregnancy and nothing more. His mother’s health was bad he lost his brother but never grieved as I see more clearly now.

    When his mother died even then I saw how it gave him fuel. Friends / relatives showed up and he caused so much chaos that week with an employee accusing him of having an affair. I took his side and didn’t believe her… (I know, I know you don’t need to say it).

    It wasn’t long after all of that I heard ‘you’re my person, my soulmate’. He wished he had met me years ago and not stuck in a terrible marriage. He and I did everything together and when I told him I couldn’t wait years until the kids had left college he left his wife and moved in with me. He never filed for divorce and neither did she. After a few months I realized I was living with my Father. He was the worst narcissist I had been in a relationship with. An explosive, mid-range, sulking, silent treatment giving excuse for a man.

    A year after we lived together I had him arrested for abuse knowing that would finally get rid of him. He now lives with his wife and has sex with a 19 year old employee I was told.

    In the beginning we had everything in common apparently. Food, music, sense of humor, things we liked to do. I learned so much in the last year after that ended but still find it shameful that I fell for the same trick my Dad had with women.

  5. Lou says:

    I would have chosen almost all of the options HG. But I guess the biggest hooks for me were his mind and sens of humor.

  6. smile918 says:

    I’m the type of woman who is easily taken in by charm. I also identify as a hybristophile, someone who is sexually attracted to criminals, so I’ve been seduced by several narcissists throughout my life. And I was a primary source for a long time.

    The charm; the way with words, is definitely what I have the greatest weakness for. I read a book some time ago, The Gift of Fear by Gavin De Becker, where he recommends always viewing charm as a verb rather than a noun. He advises you to ask yourself, “Why is this person trying to charm me?”

    Of course, H.G., your books have been most valuable at giving me insight into the narcissistic mind. I’ve learned more from you than anybody. When I discovered your books, everything clicked into place and made sense. I don’t always agree with everything you say, but you certainly are self-aware. I refer to your books often when dealing with the narcissists in my life. Thank you. 🙂

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you smile918. Interestingly I regard charm as a verb far more often than a noun.

      1. MLA - Clarece says:

        But aren’t you usually the Seducer using charm? In what scenario do you have to question someone trying to charm you? More on the professional side, as in an employee trying to schmooze for a promotion?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Yes, I charm. That is where the verb arises. I am never charmed.

  7. Geminimom says:

    His looks I guess but I never thought he was that good looking. Charismatic because my lack of it. But in a nutshell I claim narc hypnosis. Yep, had to be because I thought I was to smart to be fooled by anyone. And I thought this way until now. I’m laughing at myself here. Gawd.

  8. JW says:

    He pursued me without giving up. He was quiet and reserved but very funny and he looked at me in a way that didn’t seem weird. He presented himself very well as a good guy. he was very handsome but I don’t always go for the looks. He made me dinner which I liked more than him taking me to a fancy restaurant and presented everything as if we were in one. Candles everywhere, music, flowers. How he won me was when he had a painting done for me of Something amazing. He knew I liked from social media. Instead of buying from a store he had one done better for me by an artist he knew. He was so excited to give it to me . The excitement in giving me a gift I thought was so thoughtful sealed the deal. He was just so excited to make me happy and to give me a one of a kind gift. He won after 7 months. I never loved anyone before him the way I loved him or after. But, I will again…….

    1. dianamincher4gmailcom says:

      when a narcissist love bombs you, there seems to be no choice but to accept. It is a magical experience of exquisite attention to detail, calculated to bind you forever and it is sheer magnificence. You kid yourself you were born for him and you become overwhelmingly devoted to the cause and obedient to his wishes, in a sort of religious way.

      1. Jody Allen says:

        I agree dianamincher4~
        No one else took the time to know so much about me, my body, my likes, my moods. Its painful, though, when the tables turn and they use all those things against you.

  9. Violet says:

    I think sex with a narcissist can be like gratification. You can pass it off as having fun and exploring your identity but look closely you see you’re almost getting off on yourself with no connection other than dances of domination/submission. It can feel nice with a loving person but shouldn’t feel dangerous or that you can be abandoned.
    I’ve thought about subtle signs in the beginning with all narcissists and the common traits are a certain silence. Because they are not facing emotional responses, they have a certain quiet. Also, their eyes dart, stare or target things. They have a different kind of “dead” energy, often a surreal stillness. Watch next time how they are unaffected by so much in the environment and so concentrated in playing the games.

  10. Sarah says:

    HG thank you; I cannot wait for another Q & A from you, they are so resourceful and exciting, like xmas morning. That being said, I was drawned to another narc (I’ve had several I guess) because he was just adorable… a clown, funny guy, not good looking but easy going so life was so much fun at first!! I was walking on clouds but he changed drastically once we moved in together (after just 4 months)… wow a huge dark cloud appeared above me and it was obviously coming from hell.

  11. Sarah says:

    Gorgeous, my kind of man…seemed very intelligent, wrote me poetry, knew a lot on any subject, great sexy voice, bad past relationships, played the pitty card, thought he was my twin flame, there were so much similarities with me… a sweet talker, charmer, knew what to say and when he got free from his actual gf at the time, I took him to be mine with pride and cared for him greatly… what a fool!!

  12. ava101 says:

    I’ve been reflecting on this HG, and there are 2 things you just don’t see or accept. I will tell you half of it.The other half has to do a lot with the illusion though what drew me to my exnarc is still not in your list.
    I understand that your list is based on the premise that you target someone and then apply one of those points.
    But my exnarc had no chance to do that before I had chosen him for his typical narc psychopath traits. Speaking of sitting targets. But I was attracted to his real self, and his core personality which does exist, as much as anyone else’s exists. And he is similar to me in the way that his background and upbringing mirrors mine. But as the narc you are you think that the masks and illusions make the attraction as you refuse to see any real core lovable personality in yourself.
    I know well about the mirroring and illusion, and the superficial, external parts are in your list. But I mean something different, behind that. The mirrors came later.

    1. Windstorm2 says:

      Ava101
      Yes! I understand that many, maybe most people may buy into the facade and fall for the illusion the narcs create. But we don’t all do that. There was never any illusion about my exhusband that I didn’t see through. I chose him for himself, for his actual self – not any of his façades.

      He has many flaws, but he has many good characteristics too. I still have a very close relationship with him. In many ways he’s a better man now than when I picked him out 44 years ago because he’s wiser, more circumspect and has a lot more cognitive empathy. But there was never any illusion. I was never “tricked”.

      No narc really tricks me. Not on the big things. Maybe because I’ve always lived with them. I see them for who they are -warts and all. Some are stupid, some are evil, some lie to themselves as much as to others, but some consciously choose not to be evil and to do good. Even some of the self-aware ones who tease, manipulate and gaslight for amusement can work at being decent people and are worth putting up with for their intelligence, confidence and humor. I value my narcs for who they really are, not who they pretend to be or who they wish they were.

      1. ava101 says:

        Thank you, Windstorm. It’s very interesting and insightful what you say here.
        You really do remind me a lot of my Raja Yoga teacher, she even looks a little like you, especially the wise eyes.

        What you had written previously on another topic has helped me a lot, too. I hardly think of my exnarc anymore at all (mostly here because memories get triggered), and I really should move on more. I also think that it’s ok that I am feeling so tired, as it is a lot to take on to realize that I have been surrounded by narcs all my life and that made me think that I have spent all my life completely alone, with only hollow masks around me. But sucking my energy.

        But I have decided that I have suffered enough and that I am going on living my life now, to find a real partner, and have a family. I feel like I am coming to myself now, I feel kind of more normal.

        I also realized when talking to my mother the other day (only one of you other acons would believe how she reacted to me telling her that I had almost called in ambulance because I was in so much pain but almost passed out when I left my bed and went back; also about other topics – there really is no empathy at all and I have renamed her in my phonebook to “do-not-call-her”) that it is one of the beliefs she had instilled in me which lead to me not looking after myself well enough. She had always completely negated any health issues I had.

        Your words were very helpful.

        1. windstorm2 says:

          Ava101
          Thank you very much. I’m having a rough day and your words brightened it up!

          One thing you said created a vivid mental image for me. That we have really spent much of our lives alone, surrounded by hollow masks. I sense that that is very profound and I’m going to have to analyze it later. Maybe that’s a key to why I have such a difficult time in all relationships with normal people. I believe I missed out on a lot of the lessons people have growing up that teach them how to interact with others. Maybe that’s part of the answer.

          Hope you have a great weekend! I enjoy talking with you and am glad we can help each other. 😊

      2. ava101 says:

        Sorry to hear about a rough day, Windstorm!
        I had some beautiful hours in the woods (after a lot of stress, too.)

        That’s interesting, what you say there. I had some trouble, too, in regard to “normal” relationships or friendships. My parents had never(!) any friends over, my sisters hardly ever. And no, I did not learn empathy, caring, real interest, exchange and sharing from my family at all. I recall several painful moments as a child and as a teenager where I behaved towards others as I had learned from my family and that was not exactly well received. I also never learned to respect others and the wishes and needs of others. My parents also managed to scare a number of friends away that came to our home.
        I never learned to show common empathy, like when somesome was crying, – I felt for them, but never knew what to do.

        It was also hard when I was in a boarding school in the US when I was 16. That experience was very important for me, far far away from my parents, but my social skills plus the different culture was a difficult thing.

        It took a surprisingly long time for me to understand that the ways my family taught me were not the best.

        So, you might be right with the masks. For one, I was always told that my perceptions and feelings were wrong. And then – my mother always acted as if she was a caring mother (the best mother possible actually), as if she was a good nurse, a good sunday school teacher, good christian, and so on. I was I to know that other people exist that have real empathy behind that.

        1. windstorm2 says:

          Ava101
          The woods sounds nice! I have the great good fortune to live in a woods in a very scenic area that people come from all over to visit. A woods with the wind blowing is just about my idea of perfect!

          Your childhood sounds so much like mine. It only makes sense that we grew up unprepared for a normal life. Being narcs, our parents probably didn’t know what normal was themselves. They probably really thought they were doing a good job. 😄

    2. ava101 says:

      Windstorm2,

      thank you!

      My mother certainly thinks she has been a perfect mother. My grandparents seemed normal enough to me, though, maybe that’s how they were able to fake it. I also didn’t learn normal life skills, as my mother would defend her territory even though she is the worst cook I know *lol* – I wasn’t allowed to do my own washing, or to cook, … When I did cook my own dinner when I was twenty and at university, my parents threw me out, they said I wasn’t obeying my father’s rules. Also wasn’t allowed to use the bathroom when he was asleep.

      Yes, your childhood does sound a lot like mine, and “unprepared” is a very good word for one of the effects. Ahh, I was so blind to that, I had absolutely always thought that everything was my fault.

      Yes, the wind in the woods was wonderful today, it has finally cooled down, and the wind had also taken down lots of big trees, I had to climb over quite a few. 🙂 I had to think, too, of “stairway to heaven”:
      “Dear Lady can you hear the wind blow and did you know, your stairway lies in the wispering wind …. Yes, there are two paths you can go on but in the long run there’s still time to change the road you’re on.”

      And for HG: “…and as we wind on down the road, our shadows taller than our souls … there walks a lady we all know, who shines white light and wants to show, … and if you listen very hard, the tune will come to you at last.”

      1. Violet says:

        She would know she has abused you but accountability is this dark cloud that torments them and they believe it shouldn’t be acknowledged, perhaps as they did for their own abuse.
        I can relate to being surrounded by hollow masks. The horrible thing was, despite all the alliances, they all hate each other. There is no family. There are no people. It was a daily battle to find band aids for the screamingly obvious- they don’t exist. Emotions are the circus covering their non existence. I really believe HG now, that the creature is real.
        I’m finding it helpful to remember my VERY EARLIEST opinions of them when I was a toddler to help me get them back. I thought they were stupid, hysterical, bad-natured, embarrassing and pathetic.
        I might as well have lived alone from that age. It would have been better.
        I always thought that loneliness and confusion was my trait. It was neglect.
        I suppose, we have survived the impossible. We have nothing worse to face! We are invincible now.

        1. windstorm2 says:

          Violet
          I always thought that loneliness and confusion were my traits, too. I never would have thought I was neglected, though. But a couple months ago I wrote about how I used to hide from my parents up on the roof for hours as a child. Thinking about that now, it seems fairly likely that if a child can routinely hide for hours on a rooftop, she’s probably neglected.

          We have survived a lot. Invincible? That’s a nice thought! 😊

      2. ava101 says:

        Thank you Violet!

        Yes, that’s right, about the accountability. My mother doesn’t do responsibility for herself or her actions. So, I also didn’t learn that in a positive, healthy way. Strangely enough she taught me never to lie, steal, betray, etc. While lying to me all my life.

        Also interesting what you say about hating each other. I witnessed the beyond unhealthy relationship of my parents every day and the constant drama around my father, and my mother throning in the middle of her daughters, having an opinion on everything. But no normal family relationships, neither between my parents and us children, nor between them and also no sisterly bonds. Circus is a good term to describe it all.

        And as you said in another comment: as children, we don’t know that that is not normal, we have no other family to compare with and we think that it is us, that we are inadequate.
        I remember that I cried in my room alone when I was about 8, for no obvious reason at all. Later, I was really depressed.
        So yes, I can relate to the effects of neglect, and never knew that that was the real cause for my accurate feelings.

        Reevaluating everything out of this (for me) new perspective of my parents being narcs, it changes so much. It also makes me very sad and very angry.

        Windstorm: there was nowhere to hide for me in our house, but I went off riding my bike through the fields all by myself a lot. Or went to the parc or woods.

        My parents kind of imposed the loneliness on me in two ways: we moved when I was 7, after my first school year, but I made new friends soon, who lived very close by, I even got selected class president of 3rd grade. 😉 But then they forced me to skip that class, go into a new class, and then change schools a year later to one, where noone from my old school or friends went to, also none of the other kids of my neighbourhood. That was 5 years in a row so (incl. kindergarten).
        And they made it even harder by pissing other parents off, because they would never drive anyone, not participate in any parents duties, making cake or pizza, or whatever other parents did.
        When we went on a school trip, staying over for a week or so at a youth hostel, other kids were given a ride to the bus (coach) of course, were given pocket money, sweets, etc., and told to call every day. My parents let me walk with my luggage, didn’t give me any money and told me not to call, as they would hear from the school if anything happened to me anyway. Just as an example out of many, and I still didn’t realize then that my parents neglected me and made it harder for me than necessary.

        But I really get angry today when my family still is in total denial and still says that I had a very good, protected childhood.

        1. HG Tudor says:

          You anger is understandable Ava101 but remember do not let the familial narcissists see it as it is fuel and it gives them what they want but will also encourage their manipulation of you.

        2. Violet says:

          I don’t like to hear things like, “we do not have to be ruled by our childhoods.” Of course we have all left them and do things differently but from a biological perspective, we cannot control how much we depend on parents. We just do.

          I know my mother knows everything she has done. She is sociopathic which may have increased her awareness. I DO however now start to get flashbacks of being 5 years old and I SAW her. I really saw what she was. I didn’t see an evil person but I saw a space where there was a girl who had gone and in her place, a thing. It was brief but I remember thinking “yes she needs to keep acting to feel good because it’s so bad.”

          I believe it may be possible your parents could have fallen hook, line and sinker for the older generational “children should not be heard” mentality.

          Either way, nobody could treat you like that without being seriously ill. They can look and sound so normal but they cannot be. It is the way the illness presents that is causing us to get attached and baffled. They have forgotten or never acted from “right or wrong”. Everything they are is a lie.

          I remember depression from 5 onwards. The world felt hopeless. Nobody around told the truth. There was the threat of being hit for no reason or cruelly humiliated for sport. I wasn’t allowed friends. I wasn’t interacted with, but morphed and used and I recognise now it was the cause of my slowness of speech, fatigue etc. I always thought I was just boring. Now I know they couldn’t attach and something in me knew they didn’t care if I died. I just simply shut down. I learned to cover it up with a show biz persona.

          I think neglect and violence should not be underestimated.

      3. ava101 says:

        Violet: about the “she knows she has abused you” – I would so love to sit my mother down and talk to her about this all and admit what she did and still does. It drives me crazy that there is no chance of that! She is a mid ranger type and certainly thinks she is a good person and she feels entitled to everything she does.

      4. ava101 says:

        Thank you so much HG!
        It drives me up the walls that my mother is not aware of what/how she is. I am not even sure if she is ever consciously putting me down. She REALLY seems to think that she is a good mother, with all her passive aggressive ways.
        But she lied to me the other day. She did that before, all my life in fact, so she must know that.

        I had actually learned very early on never to show any feelings in front of my family. My mother has seen my anger maybe twice or so.
        I entertain myself more by putting her on the spot when she neglects her christian duties for example and then watching her winding her way out of that. Which she manages in very unlogical ways, justifying whatever she does. 😉

        I have no idea what my sisters are, they might both be mid range narcissists or the might be just really disturbed. They refuse to see any of this however, they cling for their life to the facade of our oh so good family. But that is not so important to me, they behave badly towards me, they lie and betray, that is all I need to know.

        The problem or sad thing is, HG, that I kept almost no contact with my family for many years, seeing them twice a year at the most, avoiding christmas with them whenever I could.
        But the irony is that I needed SOMEONE when my life went downhill after my exnarc, and at that point I had no idea that my mother is a narc herself. 🙁 But I have managed to put myself into a position of dependencies from that time and I hate the fact that my mother helped me at least twice (with almost no passive-aggressive damage).
        Though of course all she had to say about the end of the relationship with my exnarc was “Oh, I suppose he lived too far away anyways.” (3-hour-drive).
        I also feel guilty about her being alone after my father died, though she manages pretty well (thank God for her neighbours, women’s club and my sisters), but I can’t bring myself to say “no” to her Christmas requests.
        A cannot bring myself to go total no contact with her,

        However, she can go to hell at least till next Christmas and I am thinking about renting a holiday cottage at that time far far away from her, on a remote island or so.

      5. ava101 says:

        Violet:
        Oh, no, I had completed my answer but it didn’t submit, I think, I hope I don’t answer twice now …

        Our childhoods are very important, they determine our patterns, esp. unconscious ones, beliefs, image of ourselves, etc. We learn then how we see the world and our role in it. It is not easy to change and overcome that.

        When you were in constant threat, etc. it’s no wonder if you suffer from fatigue, etc., I wouldn’t be surprised if you had C-PTSD, too. You had constant heightened stress levels then, too, and that not only leads to fatigue in itself, and affects the brain, but also hormones and enzymes with that, affecting bodily functions that lead also to fatigue.

        Your childhood sounds really bad, at least my parents were not sociopathic. I wonder if my mother would care if I died, she didn’t show much emotions when her siblings, mother, husband, … died.

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