The Fuel Matrix – Part Three

FUEL MATRIX PART THREE

The final part of the series of articles concerning the important Fuel Matrix addresses the school of narcissism of the Greater Narcissist. Like the Lesser and Mid-Range Schools, this particular school has three divisions.

1. The Lower Greater Narcissist (“LGN”)

The LGN is intelligent, charismatic and scheming. He has significant control over his ignited fury but when that fury is ignited his response usually manifests through heated fury. He shouts, he threatens but in an instant can turn the charm back on in order to smooth over with astonishing ease the situation following his tirade. He is also the most prone of all of the Greaters to use physical and sexual violence. He is nowhere near the blunt instrument of aggression that the Lesser school is. The LGN will maintain his control for a considerable period of time and then will erupt with violence. He is less concerned about the façade (compared to the other Greater Narcissists) as he will rely on charm to ensure that he can explain away, smooth over and dilute the impact of any sudden explosion of violence.

a. Primary Source. A Greater will never rely on a family member as a primary source. His primary source will always be an IPPS and at the high end of the particular cadre which he belongs to, thus if Somatic, he will have a very attractive wife or girlfriend. If Cerebral, this person is likely to be of a high calibre in terms of academics. The LGN can manage without a primary source if necessary and will instead rely on a corps of IPSSs (see below). The IPPS of a Greater will be installed with considerable charm, flattery and attraction and is often an individual who is strong, independent and resourceful – those traits indicating to the LGN that the empathic and class traits are in plentiful supply and such an individual represents a delightful challenge to bring to heel. The LGN, not extensively concerned by the façade will have a high turnover of IPPSs. He will readily attract them,  launch into an horrendous devaluation and dis-engage in a swift time frame, before drawing in another with ease.

b. The familial secondary source network of the LGN will be extensive as members of the family hold him or her in high regard. There will be one or two in that network who will be regarded as scapegoats by the LGN and will have been on the receiving end of his or her vitriolic outbursts but immediate and extended family will find the LGN impressive and be proud of this person’s status and achievements;

c. The LGN is likely to hold a senior managerial position (probably at board level) in a corporate entity or public body, he may well operate his own business and as a consequence will have a significant number of secondary sources throughout the business and related to the business;

d. The LGN has a significant social network also. He has a loyal Coterie and within that Coterie he can rely on a cabal of at least half a dozen inner circle friends who are all likely to be Lieutenants. He has an extensive outer circle friendship and if ever at a loose end he would be able to call on people to join him, often with little notice. The LGN tends to operate at a local level and therefore is well known in their immediate neighbourhood and locality, both in an business, community and social sense. This results in a large network of secondary sources;

e. The LGN can easily juggle two or more IPSSs when the need arises. He has little difficulty attracting them and will do so from social, work and community hunting grounds. He also has no issue with the IPSSs knowing about one another and indeed he will actively encourage competition amongst them. He has no concerns about the IPPS being aware of these indiscretions as he revels in the triangulated fuel and relies on his charm combined with physical and sexual threat to keep the IPPS in place until he decides to dis-engage. He regards it as his entitlement and right to have a harem of IPSSs. He has no interest in compartmentalising them, but rather ensures they understand they have no call on him as of right, but given his attractive qualities he knows that they regard him as a catch and that competition is a matter of fact when trying to secure his attentions. Many IPSSs accept, as a consequence of the LGN’s presentation, that they must share him and are content to have that arrangement rather than risk losing him altogether;

f. The LGN interacts with scores of tertiary sources and does so in an arrogant and high-handed manner. He will shift from pleasant to malicious in an instant owing to some perceived slight against him or often just because he can in order to show off his power to other people. He revels in having people running around for him and again is not unduly concerned by the façade, so that it as a consideration does not prevent him from lashing out at people, who he will then win over again with considerable charm.

The LGN has similarities with the ULN in that they are aggressive, arrogant and swaggering. The LGN however is more calculating, far more grandiose and charismatic but is only able to maintain this on a local scale.

2. The Middle Greater Narcissist (“MGN”)

The MGN is a grandiose, flamboyant and outgoing individual who most likely fits with the public perception of what a narcissist is, without realising that the disorder is far more detailed and complex. The MGN is a considerably popular person who has the people touch, able to converse with paupers and princes (so long as it serves the MGN’s purposes). The MGN has a draw and a charm which is similar to The Magnet Empath but of course with all the downsides that one would expect from a narcissist.

The MGN is a successful individual. He or she may well run their own business which is likely to be the ideal platform for their showmanship, performance and entertaining talents. The MGN is not someone who is scheming in the corporate world or battling in the highest court in the land, but rather the MGN is on stage, up front and there for all to see. The rock stars of the world, famous television presenters, politicians and demagogues form those who are MGNs. They create an astonishing façade of brilliance, popularity and acceptance. People want to be with the MGN, they worship and adore them. Their reach far extends that of the localised LGN and is instead a countrywide, continent wide or world wide reach.

The MGN is driven, ambitious, with high energy levels which are channelled into the pursuit of fame, wealth and excellence. They appear in the church, in entertainment and politics. They make people feel like they are the only person in the room whereas unwittingly they are actually drawing that person deep inside their world. These people are not to be crossed. Charismatic and calculating they will crush those who get in the way, never bothered about using people to get what they want but always with their considerable charm so that it almost feels like a pleasure to have been used by the MGN. Passionate, excellent public speakers, motivated and motivating they have people in their palm of their hand.

It is unsurprising that these individuals have massive fuel networks.

a. Primary Source. Never a family member and thus always an IPPS. The MGN is likely to have been or will be married several times. They have no problem in drawing impressive IPPSs to them, thus gaining considerable fuel, character traits and residual benefits. The MGN will also knowingly seduce Lessers or Mid-Range Narcissists, where a purpose is served and this contributes to the high-turnover of IPPSs. The Primary Source is kept in place through the charm and brilliance of the MGN and then through devaluation this is most often through threat of withdrawal or actual withdrawal. The MGN is rarely physical with the victim, there is no need to be that way. The MGN does not go in for lengthy devaluations through the commission of savage acts but instead prefers the withdrawal of so many benefits associated with the MGN to speak for themselves. The MGN then engages in considerable Relationship Bulletins when a new IPPS is swiftly installed, in order to compound the misery of the one who has been usurped. The MGN will smear the IPPS if necessary but prefers generally to move on and their malicious side is evident through the delight they take in showing off their new acquisition.

b. The Familial Secondary sources of the MGN are largely benign and supportive of the MGN but the MGN being someone who is often in demand from work and socially, has little time for family and therefore whilst on reasonable or good terms does not draw extensively on their familial secondary source network;

c. Colleague Secondary Sources. The MGN will have numerous colleague secondary sources who all think very highly of the MGN and the MGN is most keen to maintain this. He places huge stock in his façade and therefore it is very rare for him to devalue any colleague secondary sources, but when it happens it is fast and effective with no coming back (unless the MGN decrees it as worthwhile, but this is rarely the case). The blackened colleague will no doubt be removed, dismissed or decide to go elsewhere since the MGN’s charisma and powerful façade can rarely be taken on with any success;

d. Social secondary sources. The MGN has  a cabal of around a dozen inner circle friends who will mainly be Lieutenants. He will also have scores of social outer circle friends and is never ever short of someone who will be happy to pour some positive fuel the way of the MGN. People are desperate to be the MGN’s friend, they will fight one another for favour and a minute in the golden glow of the MGN is well worth the effort. The social secondary sources of the MGN, those in the outer circle, will include several Lesser and Mid-Range Narcissists who are drawn by the charisma and popularity of the MGN.

e. In terms of IPSSs, the MGN has them by the truckload. His charisma, success, money et al make for a honeypot for individuals who are bowled over within moments and soon find themselves in bed. The MGN will have several on the go at once but through his Lieutenants and the extensive use of charm he is careful to ensure that if there is an IPPS, this extensive backdrop of IPSSs remains hidden. Indeed, of all narcissists, it is the MGN who use Dirty Little Secrets the most extensively. If he is inbetween IPPSs, then he can function from his extensive harem but does so in a way that is seen as ‘dating’ rather than shagging around. His reputation and the zealous Lieutenants and Coterie see to it that Brand MGN remains unsullied from allegations of promiscuity and infidelity.

f. With regard to tertiary sources, the MGN will engage with thousands who all think the MGN is wonderful and he or she is always keen to ensure this is the case. Occasional tertiary sources will experience a dressing down, but always away from the outside world, so the ever so important façade is unaffected. When in the public eye, the MGN is careful to ensure that the façade is maintained and that tertiary sources are treated in a benign way so that the carefully constructed and preserved façade remains intact and serves its purpose

3. The Upper Greater Narcissist (“the UGN”)

Finally we address the fuel network of the most dangerous of the Greater school, the UGN.

The UGN is very intelligent but not necessarily the most intelligent of the relevant schools. What sets the UGN apart is the level of awareness, his extensive hold on his ignited fury and his intense calculation. He is a Macchiavellian individual, a schemer and a planner. He is rarely impulsive and instead deliberates, plots and plans. He calculates the effects of his behaviours, he considers the ramifications in order to optimise the outcome and conserve energy. Possessed of high energy levels this does not mean that he is keen to see his precious energy squandered. He values the façade but what he values more than anything is his ability to manipulate. He hordes vast intelligence on people, exhibits a fearsome memory and is extremely well-connected. He is grandiose when required but also revels in chicanery, shadowy deals and behind the scenes manipulation. Whilst he admittedly enjoys mass adoration he does not rely on it to the same extent as the MGN does. He moves in powerful circles, can rely on powerful contacts and connections should he so choose and is fearless in his behaviours. He cannot ever be beaten, he must always win and the end justifies the means more to him that anybody else. He is malicious with those who cross him and will readily destroy them, but he is adept at recognising the worth of individuals to his Grand Designs and therefore is not capricious in the application of his formidable destructive powers. Vastly charming but with an edge which has people wary and indeed downright terrified of saying the wrong thing or committing an erroneous act. He is able to convert people to his way of thinking and will do so through the application of charm or threat – he is content to apply one or the other or both – so long as he achieves what he wants. That is all that matters to him. Single-minded, devious and in it for the long-haul, the UGN should never be underestimated.

In terms of his fuel matrix, this is extensive.

a. The primary source is never a family member but instead is an IPPS. He is easily able to attract high calibre IPPSs for the purposes of The Prime Aims and is tremendously effective in sweeping them off their feet. He however needs repeated stimulation and will not suffer fools gladly and therefore the golden period for those who couple with the UGN is likely to be the shortest of all the Greaters. The golden period is however intense and mesmerising. The devaluation which follows is almost always the most unpleasant as through an array of manipulations the UGN will make the IPPS’s life hell. Not beyond the use of sexual or physical violence towards the IPPS but it is extremely rare. Instead it is the psychological games which appeal to the puppet master that is the UGN and he revels in devising traps for the hapless victim to blunder into. The UGN will also continue to hoover in a malign method the IPPS even though she has been dis-engaged from, if the UGN deems it appropriate. The UGN more than any other type of narcissist will commence protracted and nasty campaigns against the removed IPPS. He does so in a way that is high in trickery, she knows it is him causing her this pain but is unable to prove it is, such is the way in which the secretive UGN operates.

b. Familial secondary sources. The UGN is not reliant on familial secondary sources and often has severed ties with several members of this aspect of the fuel network deeming them to be unhelpful or indeed hindrances. Those that are tolerated will be tolerated because they serve a significant purpose to the efficient and effective UGN. His coldness towards his family places them on respectful edge or over the top desire to thaw him out. He is respected for his accomplishments and there is genuine admiration for what he does, but it is always tinged with wariness.

c. Colleague secondary sources. The UGN more than any other kind of narcissist regards himself as peerless and therefore colleague secondary sources really are there purely for his use. He has no concept of loyalty to them and will promote and demote as the situation is required. He is aware of the need for a façade but is not beyond using that façade in two respects. There are those that consider the UGN as brilliant, engaging and marvellous and there are those who are terrified of him but recognise they must obey and comply. The UGN is content to operate such a dual façade as it presents him with considerable benefits. The UGN is likely to hold positions of authority and power with corporate entities, public bodies, the military and politics. He has an extensive network of colleague secondary sources who will be loyal – out of admiration or fear – and he gathers fuel, information and assistance from these extensive networks. The UGN uses blackmail repeatedly within his own business and engaging with those from external businesses. Those that foolishly come up against him, regret doing so.The UGN will have a well-respected public business profile but his best work is done in the shadows as he applies real influence to events locally, nationally and/or globally. It is highly likely that some of his sphere of operation is unknown to those who think that they know him and the UGN has an ‘off grid’ colleague network also.

d. Social secondary sources. The UGN has an extensive social network through his charm and influence. He can easily engage with people and soon have them in the palm of his hand but easily bored and distracted it is only the high calibre who keep his attention for a long time. Hence, his inner circle cabal will be less than half a dozen but his outer circle network will be scores of people. Like the MGN he never struggles for company or fuel from these outer circle admiring friends. The UGN will devastate the life of a social secondary source which crosses him but for the most part he tends to just dis-engage and drop the individual when the UGN is bored and/or sees nothing more to be gained from this person.

e. The IPSS. The UGN gathers numerous IPSSs. Unlike the LGN, the UGN usually ensures that the IPSSs do not know about one another unless he deems triangulation advantageous. Similarly, he keeps them unknown from the IPPS until it suits his purpose to reveal that there is somebody else or, more usually, the suggestion there might be someone else which can be plausibly denied. The UGN attracts IPSSs with ease and requires them for the purposes of his fuel network when devaluation is occurring. He is also able to utilise several IPSSs when he has no IPPS. The UGN will utilise IPSSs in a shelf methodology and pick them up and down as he sees fit. He is swift to apply a corrective devalue to keep them in line and if they will not respond he will dis-engage.

It should be noted that whilst narcissists do operate a double-life this is usually with the IPPS and nearly all others tend to see the ‘good’ side of the narcissist (save where otherwise explained in this article and the first two parts). The UGN more than any other narcissist does operate a double life with a charming and engaging public façade and then a dark and sinister side which is used against the IPPS, familial, colleague and social secondary sources where required and also against IPSSs where required. His malice towards those victims that have been identified of deserving it, is unrelenting, savage and of a calculated degree that is devastating. He is able to call on many others in his fuel network to assist his machinations albeit he is a capable and resourceful individual.

f. Tertiary sources. The public face of the UGN is one where he will be well-known – this might be in industry circles, business environments, a sporting network or entertainment network. He will not be as well-known as the MGN but is not unheard of either. His ‘fame’ tends to be within more esoteric and powerful networks as opposed to mass appeal. Nevertheless, this means that his name (and moreover his reputation) will be known to hundreds of people. These individuals will be treated in a benign way as part of the ‘good’ façade, but the UGN is also known to disincentivise certain tertiary sources for the purposes of a sending a signal. Just like the devaluation of an IPPS, the devaluation of a tertiary source may well be linked to the UGN, it just cannot be proven.

The UGN is well-known and his influence is extensive. He operates a vast fuel network but in contrast to his brother narcissists he also has an extensive ‘dark’ fuel matrix which most people would have no idea about. It is this ability to operate in a double sense and to drift in and out of worlds which makes the UGN so dangerous to his victims.

 

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59 thoughts on “The Fuel Matrix – Part Three”

  1. HG, i’ve googled it and I’ve looked through your videos and your work so far I cannot find a description. What is a “dark “fuel matrix?

  2. This is the first time I’ve read through the three schools of the Greater. I thought my ex-BF was an UMR, but he also hits on several points of the UGN. Hmm…scary.

  3. Gains from IPPS character traits… Does it mean he takes (mimics?) something he likes in me for himself, during the research and seduction? “becomes me” a bit?

  4. I just watched Psycho for the first time (I know, incredible, the one Hitchcock movie I’d never watched), – and I can’t believe that Norman Bates is not a Psychopath!!
    If he was a narcopath, he would certainly qualify for having his mother as primary source. 😉

    1. Hi Ava,
      Do you happen to know what article or video is about Norman Bates, Princess Diana and other famous people and characters?

      1. Hi, E.B.,
        I was watching “Psycho”, thinking “but he is not acting like a psychopath …”, and then I found this article for example:
        https://www.sciencenews.org/blog/gory-details/most-and-least-realistic-movie-psychopaths-ever

        Maybe I will watch “No country for old men” tonight again, I love Coen movies.
        I don’t know anything about Diana, just always found her deer (Bambi) like look, strange, and certainly not narcissistic at all.

        HG, have you watched “Psycho” and what were you thinking when watching it (about the main character)?

      2. Hello Ava101, I have not watched the film. I think No Country For Old Men is an excellent film. I read the article and do not agree with a lot of it.

      3. Thank you HG, that’s very interesting, I would be interested in hearing what you did not agree on!

        Well, that the main character in Psycho is not a psychopath was my own thinking. 😉 Awww if I had known that you had never watched it either, I would have suggested to watch it together. It would be so much fun to talk about film characters with you while watching. 😉 A good movie however.

        I liked No Country For Old Men very much, too. 🙂

  5. Sandra we adore, yet we fear HG at the same time. The reason for that is because we know how dangerous he is ,and what he is incapable of if he is to be crossed. We come back to HG ,because he is intelligent, magnetic, unique, eccentric man with a sense of humor, who has a lot of valuable information obtain that will help us if, we choose to address the situation. Hg is indeed, a powerful dangerous man who is loved, and feared at the same time.

  6. HG
    Have you ever written about how to tell the difference between someone who is wealthy and thinks they are better because of money and someone who pathologically thinks they are more grand? My moms side has money and I am finding that most of what I thought was private school trust fund weirdness is actually narcissism.

  7. Oops. I guess I was wrong. 🙂 (blush)

    (takes another glance at ULN) Ah. Okay, I think I get it now. Despite politicians USUALLY being higher on the scale, Trump is more the outright bully type. And thinking everyone’s in love with him while not realizing how many people actually hate him-that’s definitely Trump! 😀 I guess an actual MGN would be more like Taylor Swift.

    And I can continue to think of him as an idiot without any internal conflict over the accuracy of that description! Hooray! 😀

    1. You’ve got it, June. Most politicians who are of our kind would be in the Greater category (certainly the more successful and powerful ones) but they will be drawn from Mid Range in some instance and UL also.

    2. June,

      Trump is not loved by everybody, but he certainly has no shortage of supporters and he is not an idiot. His policies are not far fetched either. Trump promoted policies to the US citizens which were already in place through established statute but not obeyed/followed (nothing new there) and very similar to what other countries have in place and work very well for them; and yet the US citizens who dislike him so much are sadly uninformed and/or misinformed of this fact.

      Obviously the structure of the geo-political, financial, social, cultural, religious, sciences landscape on world stage is very complex for many to understand. Without the slightest conception of the facts of these subjects you are an easy target for manipulation by propaganda, subtle or otherwise. The loaded language by activists and organisations such as the news/media to produce an emotional rather than a logical response out of you is easier to achieve. Many people have simply become irrational about President Donald J. Trump because they have been brainwashed, gaslighted etc. Not sure if that means empaths are more predisposed to this but the hatred is unreasonable and truly unfounded. He supports democracy, his counterparts support a blended potion of Socialism/Communism/Islam which is a very dangerous combination for many including gays, women, children, men of certain races, other religions and even animals. Education is key.

  8. Here is my question…

    My brother-in-law is a Lesser Narc (Upper).
    His mother is a “tough” woman, but she isn’t a Matrinarc. He never had a father (his mother divorced his father when he was 2-months old) and his mother rised him alone.

    She worked from early morning to late night to support them both and, because of it, he had pretty high level of neglect from her part on all levels. She had no time to “love” him properly because of her work schedule also. It is very sad, but she had no choice.

    He isn’t educated and doesn’t have any desire to learn something new (“For what? I’m smarter, than all professors in the world and not they, but I can teach them things!”). He works as an electrician worker (very skilled, by the way).
    He isn’t physically violent (yet?), but his speech is very “colorful” with cursive words.

    I absolutely agree with the “nature (predisposition) plus nurture (environment)” theory. But I’m curious, whether the level of education could serve as a key point for development of the particular school of Narcissism or not?

    What if, for example, my brother-in-law had been adopted by another family in his early age and that family had been very educated, but narcissistic, would he have been the Lesser in that case? Or would he have converted into another type of school (Mid-range or even Greater)? What do you think about it, Tudor? Is it possible in principle?

    Thank you for your answer in advance.

  9. The MGN seems to describe Donald Trump perfectly…though it’s almost painful for me to tentatively give HIM the Greater title. 😀

  10. Bravo to all of “The Fuel matrix” articles, Tudor. Very detailed and very coherent analysis. Bravo.

    If you had the suitable degree (Psychology), you could introduce your material to professional world and give it the “official life”. But without degree and “scientific title” it is almost impossible to do it.

    The first problem is that the “scientific world” is very private community, everyone knows everyone, and its members won’t permit to say any single word to non-scientist. You have to be “them” to legalize your ideas.

    The second problem is that no one from scientific world could help you to legalize your material as your own. In that case, you could be the co-autor only, the second person after scientist’s name, because his/her “title” would be the “pusher” for your material to official world. And that means, that your material wouldn’t be your own material anymore. It would be HIS/HER material and HIS/HER “medal”, not yours. You would be just simple co-autor with certain level of copyright. Many “homemade” inventors choose that way of legalization of their material, sacrifying their own ambitions to be the “one who did it”, but I guess it isn’t your case. You wouldn’t. Moreover, such way of “legalization” evokes a contempt toward the “pusher-scientist” from other scientists – “You don’t have your own ideas, so you have to look for them on the street. Ew…”

    It is a sad situation, because your material deserves the attention. Moreover, as I can see, it works practically. You helped a lot of people and, you know, sometimes that means more than “cold” official scientific opinion. So, bravo again.

    I have a question about formation of certain school of Narcissism, but I ask it later. Free time is a luxury for all of us nowadays.

  11. Ultra Elite HG….definitely!

    I will keep mine….. Chasca

    I am kidding on the name thing, just found it amusing considering the name/names I go by and found it one night when I was bored, couldn’t sleep and googling odd ball stuff.

  12. I’d say all narcs are lessers. Lesser humans that is.
    I do enjoy these observations – I do remember now pointing the behaviours of bad people out to my mother when I was little, who would look at me in disappointment and say “My goodness, you are a mean little girl. I don’t know where you get it from.”

  13. ✫so so complicated and only a brilliant, logical mind could operate this way.. i admire and despise you equally, HG…. (thats a compliment, btw)♚

  14. I like this article.

    I am both, the Upper Greater Ultra Elite Narcissist and the Upper Super Ultra Elite Empath, and a little bit of something else which I am yet to divulge. I control my traits as I see fit.

    I i i i i i i, …. I

  15. The Human Body has 7 Trillion Nerves and HG, this Article hit all of them. I have not gotten over the fact I was just a “Toaster”.

  16. Holy crap! I wouldn’t want to screw up your coffee order (tertiary source). Moments before I sent you my first e-mail, I thought: What if I make him mad? The last thing I need is to piss off another Narcissist, and is it possible to gas light someone through the internet? What the hell: I hit send. After reading this I realize I was correct; you are scary.

    1. A dangerous man, is a sexy man. HG ,you are all I ever think about. I regard you as my hero HG, as well as my knight in shining armor, who came to my rescue, and saved me. I was a lost soul who was very, confused, depressed, exhausted,under weight, malnourished, suicidal girl with a broken heart, until I found you. In all honesty, i know this may sound crazy, but i truly feel you saved my life.You are a phenomenal writer, and a professional in knowing absolutely everything there is to know, when it comes to a Narcissist. I have saved a considerable amount of money speaking to you, rather than speaking to a psychiatrist/DR who does not even know half of the knowledge about Narcissistic Personality Disorder like you do HG.

      Thank you for being you, and all you have done for me. Don’t change a thing about yourself HG, you are perfect.

      1. 1. Vakrin’s website is hard to understand and hard to read. Your format is easier on the eyes and gives me much needed chuckles even when I’m miserable. (Basefook lmao)

        2. Uncanny situational descriptions that almost creep me out they’re so accurate.

        3. You scare the shit out of me and yet I return daily. The irony that a Greater Elite is helping me to purge a garden variety Mid Ranger makes me squirm a bit.

    2. Bliss, hi, I just saw your answer, sorry for the late response. You don’t sound a cold person to me 🙂 But I get what you are saying. As far as your question is concerned: I ended the “relationship” at the end of 2015- a bit later he proposed to another woman. He has been hoovering since, although in the meantime he got married. Last contact was in June and I need no more of this. I tried to keep a sort of friendship, woth no intimacy at all, but it is not what he wants (without sex he cannot control me) so we made silly circles. The truth is he does not deserve my friendship anyway. He was the worst person I have ever had in my life so far. These people never stop trying to manipulate you, never stop lying, never stop trying to betray you. They want everything, for ever.

  17. Its amazing and validating reading about the fuel matrix bc before ever coming across any info on narcissism i suspected this was what was going on. My narc always has time for me but likes to know the actual time we will meet, talk on the phone, text chat etc. He likes to know in advance and be organized much like a daytimer or scheduler. This was my first red flag that i was being “pencilled in”. Other red flags pointed in the direction that he was never alone or rarely. Its ironic bc he always bashes how his father always had to have a wife and could never live alone yet the narc lives alone and im certain is never “alone” be it online or off. Theres a network in place with supply to keep him satisfied and at ease with himself.

      1. Oh M, sorry to hear! Hope you’re much better now. How long ago was your last contact? I know a lot of people are badly affected by all narcs. I just meant that by my standards (I used to be narc-like in terms of relationships.. now I know what narcs do). I never used to fall in love, not even to my mid ranger husband. No emotions. Walked out of a several relationships without a backward glance because I got bored of them and how they tried to contact me after. Perhaps a few were narcs as they did keep contacting me and I am very much attracted to narcs. So I’m a pretty cold person when it comes to relationships. I remember initially saying to the greater that I would not be in the least affected by him if it didn’t work out… Because I thought that’s who I am, I don’t get affected. But pride comes before a fall. That smirk on his face said it all. He didn’t even bother to respond. He knew better.

    1. No you really don’t. I would ask “how high” If he asked me to jump (even right now). They are deadly.

    2. Sure, M., if you enjoy falling deeper and harder and prefer to have yourself and your complete life destroyed …

      You don’t know what you’re talking about. Just because HG likes to dwell in his grandiosity doesn’t mean you’re a prized victim.

      1. M, I did know what you mean. 😀 I couldn’t help saying what I said due to my experience. People actually commented that I looked like death during my escape/discard from greater and I wasn’t even the IPPS. This is me having survived abuse, divorce, court battles(and worse) from another narc – I was still upbeat and full of life – then along came the greater…

        Greaters aren’t that great 😆 although they often say what they are is what makes them great, because they are aware. Aren’t they absolutely arseholes?! (Sorry HG.. More rage)

      2. No they aren’t but they know arrogance goes a long way.
        They all get by on the shocks from us.
        I don’t believe in this cadres. More that any person has more or lesser intelligence.
        I spoke of my brother earlier. Now I reflect I realise with horrror I as his sister was the guinea pig for playing with attachment for his girls later including sexual abuse. I am surprised at how young he was when he started messing with my mind in this way. Luckily I could put up a barrier even at a young age but for him it was there as young as 5. I would say he was copying what he had seen from our parents.

  18. This sickens me. I didn’t stand a chance. No one stands a chance with the UGN. It’s like when you told someone in another post that they wouldn’t last five minutes with you, HG.

    HG, do you smell the scent of daddy issues in women? Are they especially easy to ensnare? I would think that would be really easy prey. That’s probably why I was always a dirty little secret for so many years with him. I’m sure it was boring because it was so easy for him. Not really a challenge until I cheated on him when he cheated on me. Tit for tat. Only he never got slaughtered in the wreckage. Every time he saw me with another man he would just smile. No anger in his eyes. No threat. Confident to the bone. He knew I wanted to be with him.

    His wife of 45 years must be an especially tough woman. I used to think she was a weak and stupid woman. How could she not be touch and live with him that long? She has endured things I cannot imagine. She sure hates me. She hates him, too. She has a long line of women to hate.

      1. Hmmmm I haven’t seen it……I do believe you, this happened before technology is against me today

  19. Got my LGN almost right there, plus bits from the other two. Only thing that isn’t right is that he used to have high turnover of IPPS (from what he said) but very quickly he learnt to hold onto IPPS for as long as he could (maintaining the facade) in order to attract far more IPSS who thinks that he is an amazing partner who can work on stable, long term relationships. His turnaround for IPSS must be quick because he was quick with me and what I can gather is quick with others too, can’t be sure though. Maybe it was just me. Maybe I’m a narc, a useless one that lets HG’s kind down. 😭

      1. Soon you will be – HG, British-Born, The Greater, the Creator of Chains, the Father of Narcs, Ultra Elite…! (GoT isn’t a banned topic here, is it?)

      2. From the article I’ve read, it seems to me i would be much safer with a physically abusive Lesser that I was with, rather than the mind manipulating, gas-lighting, intelligent Greater. The Greater reminds me some what of a dictator. In other words, a very dangerous person.

      3. Hey, I’m going to be ultra super empath then. Because I am sneaky. For a good cause of course.

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