Closer To Heaven

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It is testament to the intensity of our love-bombing, our seductive charade and the illusion that we create that you feel that we are heaven sent. Nobody compares to us either before after. Our love is like the sun. Vast, burning and immense, so bright and you, like most things on this planet, come to depend on it. The brilliance with which we make you ours by the carefully constructed and elegantly orchestrated ensnaring means you do not notice what is happening to you. All you know that is your dreams have come true. You are whisked off your feet, made to feel special and lifted up on high. And why not? You are indeed special to us. We chose you. From all those appliances out there, from the thousands upon thousands we targeted you, we researched you and we dedicated ourselves to capturing you. That is how special you are. You are particularly special because you are elevated to the position of being our primary source of fuel. What greater honour could my kind ever bestow on someone? You are my life blood. Without the fuel that you provide to me each and every day, succulent, potent and plentiful, I would no longer exist. No wonder I worship you when I first find you. You are the answer to my fears. The destruction of the construct is a terrifying matter to contemplate and I will do anything to ensure that this does not happen. You are instrumental in achieving this and it is through your fuel that I am not only able to exist but function, conquer and attract. You are so important to me that you provide the fuel that allows me to draw in even more fuel. You are the catalyst for all my endeavours, my machinations and my schemes. You are the driving force behind everything that I do, my successes, my ambitions and my achievements. It is because of you I am able to illuminate the world with my brilliance. Now do you understand why my seduction of you must be so absolute and intense? You are my saviour, you are everything that I need and accordingly I must capture you with all due expedience so that you are not plucked from my grasp by some other pretender. It is through you that I am able to transcend the mediocre and mundane, how those words make me shudder. My seduction is borne out of a great ravenous hunger. I need you. To acquire you I must take you closer to the heaven than you have ever been. Does it matter that I do so through the construct of an illusion so long as it serves that purpose to ensnare you? You are worshipped, adored and idealised – who would not want to be revered in such a manner and by one so talented as I? It is a match that was forged in heaven – you give me what I need and I give you what you desire. It makes perfect sense and this ideal matching of you and I must always come to pass. It is written in the stars above.

I pin all my hopes on you. I put every ounce of effort into acquiring you. I strain my sinews, polish my charm and burn brightly in the hope and expectation that you will provide me with the outstanding fuel. You do not disappoint. At least not at first. Yet, the time comes when the fuel sours and becomes stale and that is why my treatment becomes so awful and horrendous. My malice is driven by your failure. Our immortal union was in touching distance. I had you at the gates of heaven and all you needed to do was to keep supplying me with that wonderful fuel. I know you tried. Goodness knows you have told me often enough about all the things you have done and how you tried over and over again to make things work. You were not the only one you know. That sense of having been so close burns through me and the fury that is unleashed is so virulent I am unable to control it and thus it must be spewed over you, drowning you in my hatred, my bilious venom oozing across you, trickling into your open orifices as I seek to smother you in my cloying evil. You promised so much. That is why I promised so much in return. We got so near but then you faltered, you floundered and you failed and it all came crashing down. If there was a different way, if there was some alternative which meant I did not have to unleash hell against you, then perhaps that would be chosen instead but there is not. I know no other way than that which is meted out to you when it all comes crashing down. I cannot control it because you threaten my existence by your failure and I must turn to other means to secure and preserve my existence. I obtain other sources of my precious fuel to avoid my extinction from your negligence.

I wanted to give you the world. I wanted to take you to heaven and because of your failings we had never been closer to heaven and then we had never been further away. Why did you do it to me?

5 thoughts on “Closer To Heaven

  1. joanna says:

    To bad it wasn’t real

  2. Diva says:

    As soon as I read the title of this I knew that it would be relevant to me in some shape or form. These are the words exactly as they were text……mid range narc texts me to state how he has taken someone somewhere and how they had been so “thankful” to him…….he then said, “I don’t get any thanks from you.” I then replied….”sure you don’t take me anywhere”………his reply was “I take you to heaven.” My reply was…..”I blink quite quickly…..I must have missed that one.” In truth I didn’t have a clue what he was talking about……I only know this much…….his version of heaven was definitely not the same as mine……maybe that is why there is a ring of truth (for me) to the last line of this article “we had never been closer, yet had never been further away.” That all depended on who you were asking………..

  3. JB says:

    Why exactly does the fuel become stale? I am still confused about this. Is it just the repetitiveness of the same praise and such over and over or is it bc some real failure on the part of the appliance? If you continue to stroke the ego exactly the same would the fuel still grow stale?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Hello JB, if you read the article about devaluation triggers that will shed some light, if not, do come back to me,

  4. Lori says:

    Because of the cracks, because of the insecure lies, the seething rage that pushes me away and doesn’t draw me in. It makes me feel like I picked someone weak, someone unable to function without a tube down his throat if the air gets thin, a weakness that is stagnant while I am too strong and independent, when I know, deep down… all you are doing when you attack, is self project your downfalls on me… ones I don’t have….

    I love these. Thank you for helping me understand, HG. 🤙

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