Set Me Free

SET

Why will you not let me go? I just want to be on my own, I have had enough of you. Is it too much to ask that I am able to lead my own life free of your presence and influence? I need to this for myself. I do not want to be with you anymore. I had to get out. I have other things I want to do and they do not involve you. In truth, I have been wanting to do this for some time but you always managed to prevent me from going. There was always some reason that came up to stop me from breaking free of you. Every time I girded my loins in order to achieve my freedom you would do or say something that would stop me from going. I don’t know how you manage to do it. It is a fearsome power you have when I stop to think about it. It infuriates me actually, the way you manage to keep this hold over me. It is as if you know exactly what I need and you just have to say the right words. It is like weaving a spell, yes, that is it, you are a sorcerer and when you utter the incantation I am stopped from getting away. You freeze me where I stand or you take control of my decisions and actions. Sometimes your dark magic creates a wall that I cannot see but it is there and I cannot get past it. I despise the fact that you are able to do this to me. It should not be like this. You should not be allowed to control me. I know I cannot expect someone like you to even think that what you do is wrong because all you ever do is think about yourself. I have realised this; eventually. It has come at some cost because I always gave you the benefit of the doubt. I have tried to understand you but so many times it is like trying to play a vinyl record on an ipod. Impossible. I still do not understand why you have done what you have done and perhaps I never will, thank goodness there are other people who I can turn to. I know they will not do what you have done to me. You really are inhuman at times.

What’s that? I gave you no reason for why I left? Why would I? You do not deserve an explanation. Why would I give you the pleasure of seeing me having to explain myself to you? Why would I give you a further opportunity to cast another spell and stop me in my tracks once again. I just had to get away from you but look where we are now. You just will not let it happen will you. Why not just get on with your own life? You are no use to me anymore. Is that the reason? It is part of the reason, yes. No, I am not going to tell you more because you will just use it as a way to worm your way back in and get hold of me once again because that is what you do. It is no good denying it, you have done it so many times. If I give the proverbial inch you take a yard. I don’t know why you are shaking your head because it is true. I don’t care if it hurts, how hurt do you think I am after what you did to me. I had to leave you. There was no hope for any other way. I had to escape you otherwise, well, I do not want to consider what might have happened if I had remained. Just let me go will you. Why do you keep contacting me? I have nothing to say to you. I do not want to speak to you, I do not want to exchange messages, I do not want to see you. No, I do not want to talk about it. No, I do not want to sort matters out. No I do not want to try to resolve our differences. There is no point. I have moved on. Yes, I have moved on. I thought I needed you, I really did but it turns out that this is not the case any longer. I have broken free of your grip and believe me it has been a long time coming. They all know by the way, my friends, your friends, our colleagues and families. I had to tell them because I knew this is what you would do. I knew how dangerous you are and I had to warn them to watch out for you because I just knew you would try and get to me through them. You have done it before but I anticipated this move. I am good at reading you. I have had plenty of practice you see and I always know what you are going to do and say. Your predictability has given me such an advantage now and I am using to ensure I stay away from you, so why don’t you just let go? How can this possibly help you or me? You keep clinging on but I don’t understand why? There is no point in your doing this. There is no point in keep ringing me, although how you got my number I am not sure. Don’t hang around my neighbourhood either, yes I have seen you from the window and my neighbours have told me you have been doing it. It is no good denying it, I know what you are like. You are crazy, you are obsessed, I just need you to leave me alone. Please stop it. I am trying to move forward and you need to do the same. I don’t want to discuss the past. There is no point it is done. What’s that, you don’t like it when I do this, it as if I have changed into someone else. Well, I suppose I have, I have had to, in order to escape your influence. Look, this is getting nowhere, I have been civil with you for the sake of the other people here but it won’t last if you keep this up. Go, go now and leave me alone. Please. Just do it. Move on. You can find someone else, I am sure there is someone equally crazy who will take you with open arms. Don’t look like that, I am just telling you how it is. How can I just change like that? It isn’t me that has changed, it was you, you conned me, but I am not going through all of that now, I know what you are doing you are trying to keep me talking in the hope of persuading me, well it won’t work and besides, you really must go now because my new girlfriend will be here in a moment and I don’t want her to have to deal with you and your lunacy. Go.

10+
Advertisements

18 thoughts on “Set Me Free”

  1. This one made me smile though I feel for anyone on the receiving end. I always told my ex that if he didn’t like what I said he knew where the door was. Perhaps I was too good a source of fuel?
    Happy to say I finally dumped him and found a decent man (loyal, kind, loving) who might seem dull by narc standards but I love him to bits. Even knowing of our relationship didn’t stop the narc ‘hoover’. Our engagement did though!

    0
  2. I am going to freak out, almost word for word! Thank you HG, i think. Here’s one for ya. Reading this heart pounding in my chest, can’t swallow, or cry, only panic setting in. Where you there, in this snare?? Guiding his hand? Where you there in his head? Every word, every action, I’m so full of dread!!!

    0
  3. every time I have read this post, I find it uncanny how it could be said by either the Narcissist or the victim of the the Narcissist….

    0
  4. Lol! This is my favorite part. I love being thrown out once I get over my hurt feelings, but then it starts all over again. He’s crazy.

    0
  5. I will never leave anyone unless I have tried every inconceivable option. If I leave, or escape…….mentally I am already long gone……..Diva

    0
  6. Let’s flip this. These are the words of the empath who escapes the narcissist, goes no contact and is lucky enough to find out what s(he) is dealing with, and is then hoovered. And if you flip it again, it is the empath who hoovers the narcissist when we call or text. The words “Your predictability has given me such an advantage now” applies to us both. Posts like these are mind-blowing and drive me nuts. I love it!

    0
  7. Yep, this one is VERY familiar. Especially the last line. He will never know what he missed out on because the “next” one will always be the savior. Until there is a laundry list 20 women long and then, just maybe then he might realize it isn’t them..but him. Doubtful though.

    0
  8. I had a rough go in court. Still not
    free. Looking for some support. I
    thought I was prepared but ugh. Empaths. Narcs. Anybody out there? Just nod if you can hear me..

    1+
  9. It explains why he blocked me all of a sudden on his bday wknd. I texted him happy bday but the text didnt go thru. For the past yr, after he hoovered me back (as a friend only), he always texts me. I don’t text him, except this one time, on his bday.
    After 2 days of the text not going thru, i emailed him. He called me immediately. First he denied it, then he admitted that he blocked me because i remind him of his past sins of premarital sex. I started crying. He soothed me over the phone, and unblocked me right away. I then asked him how he cud do that when i’ve helped him so much to get out of his depression post hoover? He said i’m the one who got him depressed in the first place by telling others of our relationship. Well, i’m still unblocked but now i will no longer help him.

    1+

Leave a Reply