7 Sayings Upon Cessation


1. After everything that I have done for you.

How can you leave me after everything that I have done for you? I gave you the world and now you have thrown back in my face. I of course only gave you everything because I wanted something from you. I did not give you my all because I loved you. I gave you so much because I wanted everything from you and I was so close to taking everything from you. Now that you are trying to escape me, you are suggesting that I have failed and that I am not brilliant nor magnificent and I cannot stand for that to be the case. I want to blackmail you into staying. All that I gave you were not gifts, they were bribes and now it is time for you to earn them, so you had better damn well stay.

2. But we belong together.

We do belong together because I own you. I bought you with my false affection and dishonest love. I attached you to me and bound you in chains that are long and thick and you dare try to cast off those shackles. I do not know where you end and I begin. You thought that was romantic the first time I told it you but I was actually telling you a rare truth. You and I are one because you are subsumed into what I am, I consume you, I envelope you and I control you. You cannot walk away from me now because we are too enmeshed, too attached and too conjoined. You are tearing me in half. There is no you. You gave that up when you allowed yourself to be drawn towards me and bound so tight to me that you became part of me. What has been joined together can now not be undone.

3. I will die without you.

You cannot leave me because if you do you shall surely tear my poor heart from out of me. That is suitably dramatic and is designed to pull on your heartstrings even though I am telling you that this is how brutal and heartless you are in trying to end our relationship. I cannot allow this to happen because I have not finished my seduction of your replacement and if you go now you will take away my precious fuel before the new source has come online. This will leave me panicked, chaotic and driven into a frenzy in order to gather fuel from other sources, if I am able to that is. If I cannot I will no longer exist and it is all because of your selfish, wicked behaviour. How can you cut me down like this? How can you slay me in such a callous fashion? Heartless harpy, seditious slattern and callous crone that you are.

4. I cannot help what I do.

You cannot leave me just because of what I have done and what I have not done. How is that fair? I thought you were a fair person, open-minded and caring, are you not? I doubt it now as you are intent from getting away from me and all because of the way I have treated you. Look I am sorry, really I am, but I cannot help it. You make me that way with the things that you do. No, I am not trying to push the blame on to you, I am explaining it to you if you would at least listen to me. How can I explain that it is just something that happens when you are walking away from me? I never intended for it to happen you know, it just happens and you should be the one apologising to me because you make me lose my temper with your control and the games you play,you are doing it now you fucking bitch, I hate you, do you hear me? I hate you. It is your fault. Not mine. I can’t help it.

5. Why do you want to spoil everything?

I really do not understand you at times. I mean, what do you have to complain about? We live in a beautiful house, you have an expensive car, a platinum Amex and I let you do whatever you want but still it is never enough is it? Yes, I know I sometimes i have to lay down the law but if I didn’t you would spend us out of existence. Do you know how hard I have had to work to build all of this? It doesn’t just spring up overnight and I did it for us. You have used me. I welcome you into my life and this is how you repay me by spoiling our idyllic life. You would be nothing without me, do you know that? You have a fantastic life, all provided by me, there are hundreds of other women who would give their right arm to be with someone like me and you are going to throw it all away and leave. I knew there was something not right with you, you need help,you are insane. Ask anyone and they will agree with me.

6. Who will help me now?

You cannot leave me, who else is going to help me? I have kept you here under figurative lock and key, a virtual prisoner in your own home because not only do I need you to fuel me but I need you to mother me. That was the agreement when we got together. I would feed you false love and fraudulent gratitude and in return you would cook for me, clean this house, wash my clothes, cut my toenails and wash my hair. You would wait on me hand and foot and be at my beck and call. I cannot do all of these things on my own and I haven’t got the energy to find someone at such notice with you leaving. You are such an awful person, to leave me like this, especially when I am ill. Who on earth does that to someone? You should think of others and not just yourself you selfish cow.

7. Don’t go, I will change. I promise.

You really are going to go aren’t you? Good Lord, I didn’t see that coming. I thought you were good for another six months of abuse and mistreatment before you somehow plucked up the courage to try and escape me. I don’t like to admit it but you have caught me out and now I am concerned, I can feel the control slipping away from me and I have to get it back, I have to stop you. A crack around the face has worked in the past but something in your eyes tells me that even giving you a good hiding won’t stop you going, even if you have to crawl out of that front door. I know, I will throw myself on your mercy. You will like that. You have always been trying to save me, well here is your chance. I will change. I will get help. Just please do not go. Of course I mean it. I will do anything to stop you going and taking my precious fuel away from me and making me look a fool in front of all my adoring admirers. I cannot have that happen so yes, I will get some treatment, I know I have done wrong and this time, more than ever, I will change. I swear it on the lives of anyone who springs to mind so it seems like I really mean it. Of course I don’t, why should I change? The only thing that will change is my primary source of fuel but that is not ready yet so you need to stay. Please. I will change. Don’t go.

14 thoughts on “7 Sayings Upon Cessation

  1. Cordelia says:

    I got ‘I look forward to winning you back,’ a phrase which is not mentioned here but is mentioned in one of HG’s books. That’s when I knew I had to stay away. It’s so weird that you all use identical or very similar turns of phrase.

  2. Teresa. says:

    A terrific post. Exactly what I experienced. Exactly… almost frightening really…the words that were spoken to me, and the reason I stayed. I literally crawled away, having been mauled almost to death – literally and certainly financially. You really are sharing your condition HG; for that, I commend you.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Thank you Teresa.

  3. angela says:

    Magnifico!!! real como la experiencia con un narcisista…solo un N puede explicar como es..

  4. narc affair says:

    And thats just what they do the narc lines up back up sources so one can be a primary source should the presnt primary leave the narc or disengage. Always schemeing.

    1. narc affair says:

      Forgot to add that cutting someone elses toenails is a no go 😂

  5. Diva says:

    The word control is used many times in this article. Why do narcs need so much control? They would get more fuel without the controlling behaviour……it would be free flowing as opposed to stopping, starting and disappearing. Is it because someone has controlled you, so you need to control others??????? Maybe that is all you know? Diva

    1. HG Tudor says:

      No, we need to control our environment and by doing so we gain more fuel because we control you to cause you to provide us with fuel.

  6. Diva says:

    Mr Grey…..errr sorry……Mr Tudor……point 6 referring to the agreement…..”in return you would cut my toe nails”……..strike it out……you really should revise that agreement……I think that’s where you are going wrong. Diva

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Mr Grey? Pah, I think not.

      1. Dr. Harleen Quinzel PsyD. says:

        I died 😂

      2. Diva says:

        Well I thought it was amusing even if you didn’t……in any case you are missing the point…..cut your own toe nails!!!!! Diva

  7. RBJ says:

    I am pretty sure I was dealing with one of your kind because I have had many of these conversations verbatim. He also told me on multiple occasions that he was technically a sociopath, but a harmless one. I didn’t have enough experience to understand what that meant. I still haven’t figured out what kind of Narc he could have been and I still haven’t figured out what my exact role was, but that doesn’t matter so much. The thing that confuses me the most is that when I said I was done (not in person) I said I deserved more. He did not argue with me or try to change my mind. He said you are right you do deserve more. I am sorry I can’t be what you need. I didn’t respond bc what do you even say to that? He came back about 5 minutes later amd said thanks for taking a chance on me. And that was it. This does not fit with anything I have read thus far.

  8. Kelli adkins faine says:

    My discard was almost 2 months ago on the 26th….we share land, half is his and half is mine and bc he thinks I shud be happy that he moved in with my replacement a week after e left home….he left a beautiful home and land that we killed ourselves for 6yrs building our life….and now he brings her up and parades her in MY garden and she gets to enjoy the fruits of my labor…..but in the meantime he wont stop calling me at work…only place he can get to me and hi ts around until he ends up asking if he can come home and after I say Fu#k NO…..he then starts telling me how great and wonderful his whore is(she knew about me and our girls the whole time)…..and how much in love he is with the whore. I have to see him and her pull over onto our other bridge on his land on the Harley I picked ou along with the helmet….he took her and went and picked it up and posted the pic of them after he signed for it on facebook and announced that he was in relationship with her but was married to me….I dont know what to do…he deained me in every way and im desperate

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