The Narcissistic Truths – No. 117

if-you-dont-care

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12 thoughts on “The Narcissistic Truths – No. 117”

  1. HG,
    I would like to ask you a question, have you ever, in your adult life, been in a situation where you had absolutely no control of the outcome?
    Here is an example from my life that gives a picture of what I am asking you.

    When I was 19 years old I was diagnosed with ovarian cancer, and I had a small child at the time. I had to go through a very aggressive course of chemotherapy. Because it was so aggressive I was hospitalized three times with complications. The second time I was hospitalized was because I had developed an infection and had a fever of 105.
    I had to lay on this refrigerated bed and flip back-and-forth like a flounder to try to Try to reduce the fever.
    I was in an isolation room , with no television, and there weren’t cell phones at the time. So I was completely alone by myself with pretty much nothing. I remember looking outside at a beautiful sunny day in April and watching a woman walk across the parking lot with the sunshining on her. And I couldn’t be out there and how lucky she was.

    It was at that time that I realized I had absolutely no control . NOT ONE OUNCE OF CONTROL of what was going on or whether I would live or die.
    I was totally alone and at the mercy of God.

    That was when I realized that we really have no control over this life. We try to give the perception that we do but we really don’t.

    I remind myself of this experience often becuase it puts a lot into perspective for me as I go along in my life.

    And I’m wondering if you’ve ever been in a position like that, and if you were how did you feel and if you weren’t, do you think you or any other narcissist would have some sort of an epiphany?

  2. I totally understand the point and somewhat agree. Who wants to take the chance to care when it may lead to pain.
    But without caring or empathy think about what would happen in society. Children would be raised with a deadness inside of them, which would create the people that everybody on here is trying to avoid. There wouldn’t be anybody to volunteer for first aid squads, fireman, hospice etc. you cannot be truly effective in life without caring.

    I know that statement will be disagreed with but think about it. A narcissist feigns caring because it is a necessary part of being effective. They cannot be effective without it. So if you have that natural gift of caring, it’s a bonus.. I think every risk you take in life has the potential downside to it.

    1. I certainly agree with you, Sues423. I know no one can really appreciate something they have never personally experienced or benefited from, but I know I would never want to live in a world devoid of caring and empathy. It would be like a world without color. It is joy, wonder and sharing love that makes life worth living for me. I don’t like having to be hurt and feel pain, but then nothing worth having is ever for free.

      1. I totally agree with you WS2! Everything has a balance. With the sun comes life, but too much of it will damage. You have to respect the balance of it or you’ll get burned.
        I think that’s why parents developing personal boundaries in their children is so important when they are being raised.

        Society emphasizes the dangers of objects that we need to teach our kids to stay away from , or not get too close to like the sun, but rarely emphasize the impact of dangerous people.

  3. It is the ultimate truth in this “game”….what’s that phrase….”learn the rules of the game, then play better than anyone else”…..walking away, finally not caring, I would count as a definite win.

  4. Idk why but this pic and quote makes me laugh everytime…if only it were easy not to care …sighhh

  5. This was my mother. However I did manage to entice her to branch out because the experience was worth having regardless of a win or losS.
    I took it on to a degree. I said, there is me and thenE there are my coping mechanisms. Sometimes those include not caring.
    The codependency was a behaviour that worked to cover what I was missing out on. The narcissism kicked in when facing major distress or abuse. Logic when I was overwhelmed and emotion/drama when bored.

  6. That seems a lot like, “If you don’t play, you don’t lose.” That’s true too, but then you never really win, either.

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