The Narcissistic Truths – No. 145

always

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23 thoughts on “The Narcissistic Truths – No. 145”

  1. How can u be ‘always there’, keeping tabs on all ur previous ipps’s? There are so many. U would not have time for anything else!

  2. So much about Narcs confuses me. If they’re always there what happens to the whole theory of them not thinking of us, or wasting much of anything on us once they’ve got fresh new fuel?

    1. We are always there because of what we have done to you, as opposed to always thinking about you. We create ever presence.

  3. I can’t even go to my old hair dresser. Because he did. So he is “there” even when I am not there. She was prob some level of fuel for him too. Blah. Yuck. A bitch to find find a new one. 3 solid screw ups trying new hair dressers. It sounds trite. But if your hair sucks. And getting it done (ruined) over and over by perfect strangers makes me feel angry. Out of control. Panicked. Broke. Disheartened and even dissociated from myself at times where I can’t trust what I see in the mirror. ALL I see is ugly hair. Wanting to cry. ALL while knowing full well: it’s just hair, I created thid mess by richocheting hither and to “fix” it and it — just. gets. worse. Anyone else hyper focus on this or orther self sabotage? Ugg, I know it’s symbolic. I hate me. Attack the hair. Repeat.

    1. Hi tappan…its good you stopped going there bc he mightve converted her knowingly or unknowingly into a flying monkey.

    2. I know what you mean!! It’s devilishly hard to find a hair dresser that does my hair just like I like! I feel your pain. When you finally find another that you like – don’t tell anyone you know about them!

  4. Dear Mr Tudor,
    My “little weasel’s” latest victim lives a distance away from him, so as long as he’s “there” and not “here”….. I’m happy!

  5. “if he was watching them all, he would not have time left to breathe.”…..looking at that photo…..he looks like he is breathing through his ears to me……..hmmmmm……….Diva

  6. HG – If the ex of a mid range or lesser blocks the narc and goes no contact will the narc still somehow stock the ex’s social media profiles?

    1. I assume you mean stalk, Gabby. If an ex IPPS escapes and blocks, the risk of the narcissist stalking the social media of the victim is high.

      1. Gabby, hg knows his facts too well.
        i was an ipps and escaped. He left hundreds of text msgs, 50 voice msgs, and a msg on fb which i didn’t even see until 2 wks ago. He is not even my friend on fb.

  7. They always are even after a discard or dissngagement they lurk checking your progress so they can knock you down. They lurk in your social media snooping at your posts, likes. They lurk where you frequent to see who youre with and how you seem to be doing. They are always there whether you see them or not. Hoover or not they are there waiting and plotting. No contact,full no contact, blocking them every angle online and avoiding them casts them in the dark. If i ever seriously go no contact my narc will be clueless as to anything about me. If…

    1. Narc affair, this ever presence is our need also. We may think he is always lurking, because that makes us feel wanted. When he lurks, he is interested, no?Even if he wants to harm us-this is OUR negative fuel. But I guess it is not always the case. When he deletes us, I suppose he doesn’t bother at all.There are so many women, anyway, if he was watching them all, he would not have time left to breathe.

      1. Hi M…yes true. Ive wanted him to lurk and be watching but narcs really do lurk. Maybe not all the time but periodically they do depending on how the situation and especially if it was an escape and theres no new primary source. Once devaluing of the new source happens theyre back looking you up seeing if youve moved on and are functioning ok. They want us pining for them at all times ready to take them back.

  8. Hg I wondered if it is possible that the self can also be gone in a codependent or other?
    Do you only see the self has disappeared in narcissists?
    What is a self?
    If it is free expression of will and spirit, I realise those things in me were killed when my mother threatened my life. She wouldn’t allow them, I now realise. I had to be like her.

    1. Hi violet…i can vouch for the fact my sense of self left as a result of being codependant. It didnt fully leave like a narcisissts but after 7 yrs of being me thru my narcs eyes i feel ive been missing. Im slowly taking steps to getting me back and establishing boundaries but its scary and i know things will ultimately change. Codependants can be like narcs in that they morph into what that person sees in them and gives them in the form of validation. Without him im not the me i was with him. I hope that makes sense. Your question sums up what ive been living.

  9. This one especially resonates with me. How ironic that the one who was never really there (and never will be, for me or anyone else) can continue (even in his physical absence) to preoccupy my thoughts, taking up my precious time and emotional energy. It is a daily practice in restraint to let him go, to fill my time and my hands with more fruitful pursuits. Every morning when I wake, he is there. As I swing my legs over the side of the bed, I must remind myself, again, to set my compass heading in the direction away from him. Every day I confirm my intent. I cannot make him not be there, but I can practice the restraint of letting go and the mindfulness of my newfound intent. There may come a day when he returns physically. I have to trust that the information HG so willingly gives will shore me up, making me less emotionally top-heavy. There is a solidity and groundedness in his logic, which will allow ME to always be there, fully present. Strong, resilient, finally safe.

  10. I can’t visualise anyone watching me for too long …..it would be akin to watching a hibernating tortoise, only not as exciting……..Diva.

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