How And Why The Narcissist Lies


Which narcissists lie?

Do they always lie? If not, why not.

Why do narcissists lie?

Do they know they are lying?

What does lying achieve for the narcissist?

What forms will these lies take?

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30 thoughts on “How And Why The Narcissist Lies

  1. Megan says:

    HG what is the strangest thing you have ever lied to a fuel source about?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      I am not sure strange is the most accurate way of cataloging my lies.

  2. Christine Miller says:

    Big lies, little lies, learning about the concept, still confused, rattles my brain to the core. I will contine to educate myself.

  3. Rhyming Fun says:

    I love the water, and swimming. I am an ice form. I love British accents.

  4. K says:

    Not only did my MMRN lie but he acted like a walking lie detector test, too. The only time I ever lied to him was during our last year together and I had to default to childhood mode to do it successfully and it worked like a charm.

  5. Santana says:

    How can the lesser and mid range actually believe their lies? They have to know they are lying. They are not stupid. I don’t understand this statement.

    1. HG Tudor says:

      See the answer given to Tiddleywink. It is hard for victims to grasp because your minds operate in a different way.

  6. Olivia says:

    HG: Before I found out my ex was a mid ranger, I was so confused why he always wanted to tell people we met at Starbucks. He refused to tell anyone, even his family until like a year in that we met online. We actually met on a dating site and then met up at Starbucks in person a few days later. Every time someone asked how we met he would say Starbucks and even if someone would say oh by chance or was it planned he would even say it was by chance. Are you saying that he actually believes we met at Starbucks? Has he convinced himself of this? He used to say he never lied to me and that if he ever found out I was lying to him we would break up.

  7. Tiddlywink says:

    HG.. this one gets to me..
    5. The belief in the lie. The Lesser and Mid-Range Narcissists are actually delusional. They do believe the lies that they tell…

    Please help me understand how can a midranger believes in the lies he is saying? For example.. narc going on overseas holiday with his IPPS for a month earlier this year.. he is sitting in the train with her right nw on the way to the airport..but is texting me saying he is by himself.. OR… His IPPS loves he says he is going to the Dog show today by himself because his IPPS is at her sisters place and wont be going ..when actually he is with his IPPS right now at the dog show…Soooo..My question is.. if he is physically present with his IPPS right at that very moment of texting me saying she is can he believe that?

    1. HG Tudor says:

      It is because of the defence mechanism of the narcissist. The different perspective and compartmentalisation work to mean that although a lie is being told, from the narcissist’s perspective it is not a lie because that is what must be done instinctively to protect the construct, to achieve what is required namely fuel. He can believe the lie because they way his mind is configured it tells him that this is the truth. If you accuse the narcissist of something where he has lied, the MR Narcissist for example does not think
      “Shit, she is right, I told a lie, what shall I do now?”
      He does not even process that he has told a lie because his self-defence mechanisms will not allow that to happen. Instead his mind goes
      “I am under attack here, that is not allowed, issue a denial. Deny again. Maintain the upper hand.” – the lie is not actually addressed it is the ATTACK which is addressed. If the denial can be broken through then the self-defence mechanism shifts to an alternative manipulation. See ‘The Narcissist’s Twin Lines of Defence’ for more information.

      1. Tiddlywink says:

        Thank you for your answer HG.. it is so complex trying to see through the eyes of why a Mid range narc lies so effortlessly..

        1. HG Tudor says:

          Indeed, it is bewildering to most. You are welcome.

  8. Tappan Zee says:

    The belief in the lie. The Lesser and Mid-Range Narcissists are actually delusional.

    Delusion. That is enough.

    For now. Thankyou.

  9. Rhyming Fun says:

    To live in one world (Narcissism), and yet be fully knowledgeable and distinctively understanding of another world (ours), is something that sounds like a sci-fI movie. It is like you are a blue avatar, Mr. Tudor, such as in that movie, Avatar. That’s cool. I mean, not the lying. The lying is not cool. But, the blue Avatar thingy…

  10. J Cricket says:

    Isn’t that the truth!!!
    I read that narcissists aren’t always liars, but sociopaths and psychopaths are. What are your thoughts on that?
    I love your picture for this one. I used Pinocchio’s picture as my image that would come up on my phone when my ex would call. That is why I use J Cricket as my name here… I felt like I had to be his conscience at times. It didn’t really click that he didn’t have one until I saw he had no understanding as to why I was upset when someone close to me died.
    Yes, lies and gas-lighting were a huge part of my marriage. Pathological as I saw it. I seemed to get by just putting my head in the sand. His Mother told me she didn’t believe a word he said. Kind of hard to have a conversation….

    1. HG Tudor says:

      We habitually lie.

      1. Yolo says:

        You are not lying 😊 I am niss well supposed friend to this guy for 3 years nothing intimate. Whew, he’s a liar, liar, pants on fire.

        We were talking about boxing and he’s jealous of this boxer. He talked mess about him, then he proceeded to say he was a much better fighter. He’s never mentioned boxing before. He had a issue with singer too and said he was overrated when this guy is underrated he’s private don’t get recognition he deserves his music sales and concerts sale out because he has loyal following.

        He also mentioned he was hospitalized a few years back for CPOD as he said it he started to cough. He had never coughed on the phone before and haven’t since.

        I don’t know the story behind the mother but he pretends to have a close relationship with her, he slip and told me he move from house to house as a kid.

        I am blocking him, it was entertaining at first. I don’t know how stupid a person can be and still breathe.

  11. kimmichaud1 says:

    Off topic do you have a profession outside of narcissism and also is your real identity a celebrity of any kind

    1. HG Tudor says:

      If you mean outside of this blog etc, yes I do.

      No, it is not.

      1. kimmichaud1 says:

        Lol OK now I know you are definitely not Hugh grant or Simon Cowell lol

        1. HG Tudor says:


      2. NarcAngel says:

        I would say HG is certainly a celebrity here and moving toward a larger stage and audience. Thats no lie.

      3. Noname says:

        Just out of ciruosity, does your work have any relation to aircraft business, Tudor?

        1. HG Tudor says:

          I use them to get to where I conduct business.

    2. Noname says:

      Lol, evasive answer. I was asking, because the words “Tudor”, “Havilland”, “wankel engine”, “fuel” (lol) are related to aircraft’s field. My narc-cousin’s father was a test pilot (fighter planes) and I know those words from my childhood. He loved his job and talked about different types of planes constantly.

      1. HG Tudor says:

        No it isn’t evasive, that is the extent of my use of aircraft. Interesting however that you picked up on those words. Tudor and Havilland were used as they have a familial connection, wankel engine was chosen because of a Monty Python sketch where the phrase “wankel rotary engine” was mentioned and fuel, well because that is what it is all about of course.

      2. Noname says:

        Ah, I see. Thank you for your interesting answer. I appreciate it, Tudor.

        As I can guess, you are an “airy” person and your work, even indirectly, are connected to your personality type. Ether, air, breeze, draught, zephyr, wind, gale, gust, tornado, tsunami, hurricane, whirwind – that’s all about you.

        Everywhere and nowhere at the same time. The pleasant breeze and the dangerous whirlwind. Predictably unpredictable. Unpredictably predictable. You destroy the weak walls. The strong walls destroy you.

        You need a “water” person to find your own peace – her “ice” form would stop your destructive force, her “gas” form permit her to be with you, her “liquid” form woud be the “home” for both of you. And don’t forget not to abuse her! Lol.

        1. NarcAngel says:

          Re: The elements

          Haha. Apparently you need to be looking for a gasbag thats into watersports.

          I heard that. No. Not me.

  12. Pinkfire says:

    #5 Midranger-Wow. Thank you so much for that clarification HG, I always wondered about that!

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Pleasure PF.

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