Poll – What Causes Your Susceptibility To Narcissists?

POLLHG WANTSTO KNOW

The majority of those who are ensnared by our kind are so ensnared owing to particular inherent susceptibilities which we rely on and instinctively exploit. Based on what you have learned about yourself and your own engagements with our kind, what do you think are your susceptibilities?

Perhaps you now realise that you are chasing the ‘storm’ which you experienced during your formative years and at an unconscious level you are wanting to find that in those you engage with as an adult? It might be that you cannot but want to help the troubled and tortured souls which present themselves to you, that you find you are drawn to the challenge of such individuals. It might be that you just though lightning would not strike twice and that having been ensnared once it just could not happen again and thus your defences were lowered. Maybe you find our kind so exciting, ‘spicy’ and invigorating that everything else which is healthy feels dull by comparison?

Perhaps you find you are always struggling to accept the truth of what we are, that you believe we can find and give love, that we are wanting to and can change even though this is not the case? Or is it that you recognise your own narcissistic traits play a part in that you want those narcissists who reach the top of the tree because you feel you deserve success in various forms which some narcissists achieve? Alternatively, you may recognise that you are poor at establishing boundaries and despite your best intentions you just end up being steamrollered by our kind and drawn into a relationship or is it that being with narcissists is all you have ever known? Perhaps you always struggle to spot our kind until it is too late or that you identify potential problems but you always give the narcissist the benefit of the doubt until it is too late?

You can choose as many options are as applicable before casting your vote.

As ever, do expand on your experiences in the comments section.

Thank you for participating.

What factors do you think have caused or cause your susceptibility to narcissists?

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116 thoughts on “Poll – What Causes Your Susceptibility To Narcissists?

  1. W says:

    I myself am emotionally unavailable. I didn’t realize until recently. I’m afraid to be locked down to one person, to lose my freedom and individuality, other issues. I used to be attracted to narcs on some pheremonal/cellular level I think. I think I sensed they were unattainable for real commitment or emotion. Plus the emotional challenges were fun , and a great escape from life.
    Now that I’m aware of all this, I’ve decided I’m actually just not interested in a relationship. I don’t know yet why, but I have other callings in life at this time . I used to feel like I HAD to have a partner or I was missing out , but really I just don’t want one, and I’m ok with that now. I might still hook up sexually , and it might even be with narcs, not sure yet, but now I’m just more aware of what’s been going on, really I think I’ll try to avoid narcs just in case I get one who’s really malign post escape.

  2. DF says:

    Excuse me, I forgot to tell, I ticked “poor recognition” and “excitement”.

  3. DF says:

    Dear HG,
    recently I read your post “No Good Advice”, and for me it held part of the solution.
    I had early in my life been educated about personality disorders, also about narcissism, in a formal, psychoanalytic, academic manner that made me think all that talk was only a theoretical exercise and that these people would never surface anywhere in reality.
    Consequently, after I had been “disengaged” by my wonderful (so I thought) lover in that (to me at that time) strange narcissist manner (above all, “no closure”, but also “malign hoover”). it took me months to get to the core of what happened – by researching the internet and gradually understanding that it wasn’t me who wasn’t right in her mind, that I had fallen victim to a systematic approach of stirring my emotions because they were needed for a special purpose.
    The most important hint was provided to me by a BDSM website that used the expression “Red Flags”. This was the key expression which enabled me to find out about narcissism in everyday life, to find helpful and educating research and websites about the subject. Especially yours, with your invaluable perspective. Thank you.
    Although I was very determined to find out what had happened, it was difficult because I had to sift through so many useless, plain wrong, manipulative, distracting points of view about relationships. Especially (pseudo-)professional relationship advice.
    I agree with you that this lack of knowledge about narcissism can be dangerous, and I think it has – among other things – to do with the ubiquity of narcissism. It feels like this:
    In order to get something into your focus and examine it you have to put some distance between yourself and the object. But wherever you go – narcissism is already there: family, workplace, relationships, religion, economy … So you have to take some effort to establish a firm and independent point of view.
    Which is very useful to have, as I know and feel now.
    DF

    1. HG Tudor says:

      Valid point.

  4. Diva says:

    I didn’t vote, although maybe all of them apply to me one way or another. However, in my case my susceptibility happens way before there has even been a word uttered about myself or by them. It’s a mere look, it’s all in the eyes, usually just one blink will suffice, it’s a mutual attraction akin to an electromagnetic force, ….I put it down to me and them, just having “one of those faces” (and I don’t necessarily mean an attractive one)…..The damage is done before either or us know anything about the other (although some narcs may well have done their homework)……that is why I have said previously……if I am mysteriously drawn to you on sight, you will be a narc. I have come to realise that I can now spot your kind just as easily as you can spot my kind…….Diva

  5. Patricia J says:

    His Intelligence.

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